German efficiency

Sh1tbag OToole · 10-09-2014 11:33PM #1

The Germans are a very efficient bunch, you have to hand it to them.

I knew this German lad all me life, lived less than a mile away, we would often see him around and the folks at home were great friends with him. He was the one lad who wouldn't let them down in a crisis if they ever needed anything. Anyway during the tiger himself and the wife sold their house and moved back to Germany

A few years passed and during this time I remember going to see their house in Germany, a grand place but there was feck all land with it and it was in an estate. Had an indoor swimming pool and all.

Couple of years after that a Christmas card arrives in the post from the wife wishing a happy Christmas (as they do) and to say that the lad was after dieing a couple of months earlier. She wouldn't waste a second card on us, thought she would wait a couple of months till Christmas to tell us and send only the one.

Anyone have any similar tales of efficiency that only a German could come up with?

Aongus Von Bismarck · 10-09-2014 11:35PM

I've read this post twice now and I still haven't a bull's notion what you're talking about.

srsly78 · 10-09-2014 11:36PM

German tax inspectors get paid bonus commission.

Chucken · 10-09-2014 11:37PM

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I've read this post twice now and I still haven't a bull's notion what you're talking about.

German died but wife didn't inform OP for a few months. Efficient apparently

Shakespeare's Sister · 10-09-2014 11:38PM

I know of a couple who, when the woman was pissed off with the man, he made it up to her by taking her out to dinner at a sensibly-priced restaurant, followed by a night of efficient German sex.

And he was a new tie wearing.

HeidiHeidi · 10-09-2014 11:39PM

A lot of Germans are paid 13 times a year. So double in December just in time for Christmas.

Very civilised habit I always thought.

Sir Arthur Daley · 10-09-2014 11:40PM

How efficient are they at the riding?

Agricola · 10-09-2014 11:40PM

I would have thought a bereavement update in a Christmas card was the right way to inform old acquaintances, neighbours etc. Basically people that you don't give a Teutonic shít about!

Last_Minute · 10-09-2014 11:41PM

I think that's being more stingy than efficient.

The Hill Billy · 10-09-2014 11:42PM

I've worked with quite a few Germans over the years & think that the 'German efficiency' is a bit of a myth. They are great at following orders, rules & processes. As long as they are correctly defined things work well. However, if something goes tits up it can all fall apart very quickly as I generally found that they weren't great at thinking on their feet.

The Swiss - now they are efficient.

My name is URL · 10-09-2014 11:42PM

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I've read this post twice now and I still haven't a bull's notion what you're talking about.

I didn't read any of your post and know that you're about to go off on one about being a highly qualified nobody domiciled in Frankfurt

Do you by any chance work in finance? Wild guess there.. not like you've ever mentioned it before.

MightyMandarin · 10-09-2014 11:43PM

OP your story has nothing to with efficiency at all, the person just probably forgot to send you a card when he died and only remembered you when she looked at her list of who to send christmas cards to.

Anyways, the German 'efficiency' is frankly an overused stereotype that in reality, isn't prevalent at all in German society.

Tail Docker · 10-09-2014 11:46PM

I get to fix a lot of German machinery in work. I'm also half-german. I reckon it's over-rated tbh. Japanese efficiency, that would be a half-way better runner. Germans try hard to do things right, but they don't always succeed. Not for want of trying though.

Chucken · 10-09-2014 11:46PM

MightyMandarin wrote: »

OP your story has nothing to with efficiency at all, the person just probably forgot to send you a card when he died and only remembered you when she looked at her list of who to send christmas cards to.

Anyways, the German 'efficiency' is frankly an overused stereotype that in reality, isn't prevalent at all in German society.

Are there cards out there that say 'Sorry to inform you but Hans died?'

If not, I think we might be on to a great money spinner.

J Mysterio · 10-09-2014 11:46PM

That original post is in very poor taste and is equally poorly thought out.

Generally speaking people give a little run through of familial happenings in a christhmas card, it would be appropriate to the mention that passing on (of their son?).

As far as i'm concerned, people dont generally send acquaintances cards to inform them of a death in their family, particularly when it is such a sensitive one.

Just to clarify, im not wholly against getting a laugh out of stereotypes etc. but you seem to be way wide of the mark here.

Chucken · 10-09-2014 11:48PM

Tail Docker wrote: »

I get to fix a lot of German machinery in work. I'm also half-german. I reckon it's over-rated tbh. Japanese efficiency, that would be a half-way better runner. Germans try hard to do things right, but they don't always succeed. Not for want of trying though.

I'm sure some people have said you're very trying :P

Oops69 · 10-09-2014 11:48PM

They're efficient at implementing carefully defined processes and protocols but I find lateral thinking a bit lacking in Germans I've worked with , I'm not sure it's encouraged in their society .

smurgen · 10-09-2014 11:48PM

The Hill Billy wrote: »

I've worked with quite a few Germans over the years & think that the 'German efficiency' is a bit of a myth. They are great at following orders, rules & processes. As long as they are correctly defined things work well. However, if something goes tits up it can all fall apart very quickly as I generally found that they weren't great at thinking on their feet.

The Swiss - now they are efficient.

i second that,work in Geneva and came across both.One thing I noticed with the Swiss is that if you come to them with a problem they'll drop what they're doing at the time to sort it,it doesn't get added to the end of some to-do list and they never procrastinate.

DVDM93 · 10-09-2014 11:48PM

Last_Minute wrote: »

I think that's being more stingy than efficient.

Ah nice one

had forgotten about that thread, will have a look at it now to see the latest.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo · 10-09-2014 11:51PM

Hitler managed to Hitler Hitler with the efficiency gas Hitler camps Hitler Hitler Hitler.

Hitler.

stalebread · 10-09-2014 11:51PM

The japs have it wrapped up http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaizen

J Mysterio · 10-09-2014 11:54PM

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo wrote: »

Hitler managed to Hitler Hitler with the efficiency gas Hitler camps Hitler Hitler Hitler.

Hitler.

That does seem to be the genesis of the whole 'efficiency' thing?

wiseoldelf34 · 10-09-2014 11:59PM

6million in how many years?forget the Germans the japs aren't even THaT efficient

Bafucin · 11-09-2014 12:00AM

My mate is married to a German woman. They are living here for a couple of years and this is the first time they have been able to move into a house without bringing their own kitchen with them. When you move in Germany you have to bring yours with it ..the room the kitchen is in will be totally bare it's a ****ing nightmare.

I worked there for a while and to be honest it's more bureaucratic and tight fisted than efficient. And different parts of Germany are very different culturally. Bavarians are a law unto themselves.

I have only met a couple of Swiss Germans through what I am studying they seem to be very efficient with a minimal amount of fuss but quite socially quiet and conservative.

One thing I notice about Germans they will not help out a stranger out of the goodness of their hearts and they don't take bull****. They will do anything for a close friend anything but they will actively avoid even talking to strangers I found.

MightyMandarin · 11-09-2014 12:03AM

wiseoldelf34 wrote: »

6million in how many years?forget the Germans the japs aren't even THaT efficient

You clearly haven't seen the Russians then, Stalin killed ~15m Kulaks in just 7 years, aswell as millions of other 'opponents' of his. Now that was efficiency.

The Diabolical Monocle · 11-09-2014 12:07AM

MightyMandarin wrote: »

Anyways, the German 'efficiency' is frankly an overused stereotype that in reality, isn't prevalent at all in German society.

Dunno about that, I was working with a German recently, he seemed to give actual consideration to arrival/leaving times as well as schedule. Madness.

He had a pocket watch, which reminded me of Henning Wehn, Germanys comedy ambassador, but I didn't make a joke of it because we'd had our two jokes already that day.

J Mysterio · 11-09-2014 12:09AM

Ha

wiseoldelf34 · 11-09-2014 12:13AM

MightyMandarin wrote: »

Yjou clearly haven't seen the Russians then, Stalin killed ~15m Kulaks in just 7 years, aswell as millions of other 'opponents' of his. Now that was efficiency.

and we don't have the kulaks harping on about it either .
soul train or train to auschvitz ?

donegaLroad · 11-09-2014 12:13AM

I used to play music with a German saxophonist. He was ultra punctual. If we were scheduled to play at 4pm, you could hear him draw breath at 3:59 and 45 seconds.

On one infamous occasion, he switched off the All Ireland football semi-final which was on the TV in the pub at the time, because it would distract the crowd from the music. That was out last gig there.

donegaLroad · 11-09-2014 12:16AM

I used to play music with a German saxophonist. He was ultra punctual. If we were scheduled to play at 4pm, you could hear him draw breath at 3:59 and 45 seconds.

On one infamous occasion, he switched off the All Ireland football semi-final which was on the TV in the pub at the time, because it would distract the crowd from the music. That was out last gig there.

The German version of my story would be, I used to play music with this Irish guy, he would always show up late and be half pissed!

Bafucin · 11-09-2014 12:17AM

donegaLroad wrote: »

The German version of my story would be, I used to play music with this Irish guy, he would always show up late and be half pissed!

That's me!

German efficiency

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