Kelly brook, domestic violence and media silence

Potatoeman · 10-09-2014 01:42PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I've had many rows with many girlfriends over the years and sometimes been on the receiving end of a clatter or two (usually deserved too I have to say). I don't give a toss what anyone says, it is not the same thing as a man boxing a woman, no amount of political correctness will ever make it so.

I had a friend in college that got a burst eardrum for his girlfriend that slapped him. It wasnt intentionally to cause perminant harm but he is def in one ear now.

Soft Falling Rain · 10-09-2014 01:42PM

When I heard about this last week I checked google to see what was being said, and the pure lack of content back was surprising. Absolutely no coverage or analysis bar from one or two z list tabloids. But I'm not sure if that says more about no one caring about Kelly Brooke or just good old hypocrisy.

I read the excerpts in question from her book anyway, both incidents sounding quite violent, yet both she plays as comedy. There are issues there, and not ones that go away with age as she's trying to claim.

Shakespeare's Sister · 10-09-2014 01:42PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Honestly it saddens me how many so called men are so afraid of a box in the face that they wouldn't take one for a ride off Kelly Brook. It's not mike Tyson we're talking about here. Look at her for god sake, it would be like getting hit with a balloon! Then in return you get hit with 2 balloons - that's a fúcking good deal if you ask me.
Political correctness be damned - sign me up right now.

Ok obviously a wind-up. Too idiotic to be for real. And learn what political correctness means ffs.

Penny Tration · 10-09-2014 01:43PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Honestly it saddens me how many so called men are so afraid of a box in the face that they wouldn't take one for a ride off Kelly Brook. It's not mike Tyson we're talking about here. Look at her for god sake, it would be like getting hit with a balloon! Then in return you get hit with 2 balloons - that's a fúcking good deal if you ask me.
Political correctness be damned - sign me up right now.

Maybe lots of 'so called' men have more self respect than stay with a woman who's enough of a disrespectful scumbag to hit them.

'so called?' ANY man who has the balls to leave a woman for hitting him is more of a man than the people who put up with it for sex.

Czarcasm · 10-09-2014 01:45PM

green_screen wrote: »

It saddens me to see how many men say they'd happily accept her hitting them if she had sex with them too.

Men being victims of domestic violence is taboo enough as it is.

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Because nobody should hit anyone and it shouldn't be trivialised. Trivialisation leads to acceptance. Not sure what basis you have for concluding Jason Statham wouldn't be affected by it. He's a big man - eh, so what?

People saying they wouldn't mind domestic violence if she was hot... yes they would.

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

****ing hell are you 15?!

Anythings fair game once "the lads" think your missus is hot?

Gannicus wrote: »

I know I'll be brought to task for my original post BUT

Thats easy to say now as you're not in a violent relationship but tell that to men who are being physically and mentally abused by their wives and girlfriends etc but are feeling too ashamed or afraid for people to know its happening to them.

That doesn't in any, way shape of form negate what she did.

There's one simple reason why men see domestic violence perpetrated by women against men as acceptable, because for some men indeed they would rather their skin take a bruising, and their emotional well being take a bruising, than their ego take a bruising, making them look weak in other people's eyes.

You can tell these men till you're blue in the face that they have nothing to be ashamed of, that it wasn't their fault, etc, but their ego is something that's almost impossible to overcome in order to encourage them to get help.

Men will never talk about domestic violence in the same way women do, because they are afraid to be seen as weak or inadequate, and as poorly as some posters have put it, the simple fact is that some men do indeed care more about the image they portray to others, than they do about their own welfare.

sbsquarepants · 10-09-2014 01:47PM

Barely There wrote: »

Consider for a moment a man in an abusive relationship.
He's embarrassed to tell his family and friends.
He worries if he goes to the Guards they will not take him seriously.

After being physically assulted by his partner by being punched in the face without warning again one evening, he decides enough is enough - he has to tell someone.

He turns on the tv and sees Kelly and Philip chuckling away at the time she punched a guy in the face.

He collapses in a heap on the sofa sobbing.

Pack your bags and leave if it's that bad. If it's not that bad, quit the whinging and get on with things. One way or the other man the fúck up for god sake. What sort of a world are we living in at all these days. Honestly.

House of Blaze · 10-09-2014 01:49PM

Links234 wrote: »

Hmm, thread about how domestic violence against men doesn't get taken seriously, filled with comments from lads saying "I'd let her slap me around, hur hur hur!"

http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab214/bisslad/Celeb_zps4f6259aa.jpg

The Purveyor of Truth · 10-09-2014 01:49PM

I purpose that as many guys as possible go to the following event on Saturday wearing Kelly Brook masks along with the best pair of stilettos we can rob from the women in our lives

http://www.WalkAMileIreland.ie

If we're so called "Man Enough" of course.

tritium · 10-09-2014 01:50PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Pack your bags and leave if it's that bad. If it's not that bad, quit the whinging and get on with things. One way or the other man the fúck up for god sake. What sort of a world are we living in at all these days. Honestly.

Have you tried that speech with a few battered wives yet? Very classy

Penny Tration · 10-09-2014 01:51PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Pack your bags and leave if it's that bad. If it's not that bad, quit the whinging and get on with things. One way or the other man the fúck up for god sake. What sort of a world are we living in at all these days. Honestly.

Ugh.

Can't believe people like you actually exist.

allibastor · 10-09-2014 01:53PM

ah the joy of the double standard.

Most men who do this are instant scum, Kelly Brook goes on telly and it is a comedy show. anything which happens against a man is all fun and games isn't it. if Jason Statham reacted to this punch in the face with a punch of his own it would not have been all fun and games then.

tritium · 10-09-2014 01:53PM

darced wrote: »

Correct,if the attacker was his tipsy eight stone fashion model girlfriend.

Given you post on the martial arts forum you should know better han anyone that size isn't the major factor in terms of delivering violence.

Not sure given that why you want to make a fairly juvenile point

Amirani · 10-09-2014 01:55PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Honestly it saddens me how many so called men are so afraid of a box in the face that they wouldn't take one for a ride off Kelly Brook. It's not mike Tyson we're talking about here. Look at her for god sake, it would be like getting hit with a balloon! Then in return you get hit with 2 balloons - that's a fúcking good deal if you ask me.
Political correctness be damned - sign me up right now.

You're making yourself sound fairly desperate here. It's a bit sad.

sbsquarepants · 10-09-2014 01:56PM

green_screen wrote: »

Maybe lots of 'so called' men have more self respect than stay with a woman who's enough of a disrespectful scumbag to hit them.
.

Come off it would you. There is a big difference between a heat of the moment slap and being a disrespectful scumbag. Women are in general a lot more emotional than men.

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Ok obviously a wind-up. Too idiotic to be for real. And learn what political correctness means ffs.

I know what it means. Maybe you should look it up yourself. It's a putrid attempt to render the whole world homogenous - it's bollox is what it is and it applies fully here.
Kelly brook hitting Jason Statham does not equate to Jason Statham hitting Kelly Brook.
I know which one I'd rather take a box off and anyone who claims there is in fact no difference is a fúcking imbecile.

Barely There · 10-09-2014 01:56PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Pack your bags and leave if it's that bad. If it's not that bad, quit the whinging and get on with things. One way or the other man the fúck up for god sake. .

Who are you talking to?

A typical man in a physically abusive relationship?

sbsquarepants wrote: »

What sort of a world are we living in at all these days. Honestly.

My ironyometer just broke and you owe me a new one.

Wibbs · 10-09-2014 01:56PM

pickarooney wrote: »

do you really think Jason Statham lives his life cowering in fear of his abusive partner? It's more than a little disingenuous to compare this to the likes of that NFL guy. Like it or not, a bit of physical abuse is part and parcel of many couples' relationships and they're just fine with it.

Well the NFL guy's girlfriend went ahead and married him, so apparently she's just fine with it too. I suppose that makes it alright? There is a double standard at play no matter which way we cut it. If oul Jason in the middle of an interview laughed about giving Ms. Brook a few light digs when they argued there would be smelling salts required all around. High horses would be saddled and some wimmin's groups would be painting up placards complaining about the patriarchy.

LexieOnRale wrote: »

So a "real mans man" wouldn't be that bothered if they got punched in the face?

Apparently not. If they "got the ride" What that tells me is you've a lot of men out there who are so quality pussy hungry they'd take all sorts of crap to get it. That's sad as fook as far as I'm concerned.

An experiment in paraphrasing.

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Ladies, pack your bags and leave if it's that bad. If it's not that bad, quit the girly whinging and get on with things. One way or the other woman the fúck up for god sake. What sort of a world are we living in at all these days when a woman gets this riled up about a few light slaps. Honestly.

Yea I can see that flying alright.

How you actually man the fúck up in that situation is if some bint smacks you in the gob, kick her arse out the door followed by all her worldly crap, delete her number and scrape her out of your life. Quality women aren't exactly rare, so why the hell a man would settle for some thick chick who can't control her emotional state? Makes no sense to me. I don't care how big her tits are or how pert her arse. That gets old real quick and when she gets old...

Penny Tration · 10-09-2014 01:58PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Come off it would you. There is a big difference between a heat of the moment slap and being a disrespectful scumbag. Women are in general a lot more emotional than men.

I know what it means. Maybe you should look it up yourself. It's a putrid attempt to render the whole world homogenous - it's bollox is what it is and it applies fully here.
Kelly brook hitting Jason Statham does not equate to Jason Statham hitting Kelly Brook.
I know which one I'd rather take a box off and anyone who claims there is in fact no difference is a fúcking imbecile.

I'll readily admit I'm more emotional than my boyfriend.

However, being emotional isn't what makes you hit a person. Not being able to control yourself is.

I'm done replying to your posts. Defending abuse is sickening and I hope to god you're never again in a position where a woman hits you.

pickarooney · 10-09-2014 01:59PM

tritium wrote: »

Given you post on the martial arts forum you should know better han anyone that size isn't the major factor in terms of delivering violence.

Not sure given that why you want to make a fairly juvenile point

Everything else being equal, size is, unquestionably the major factor. And in this case it's someone with no apparent fighting skills hitting people whose job involves being battered by massive professional sportsmen. You can micky mouse about it all you like but people's opinions on this seem to spin 180 degrees depending on the thread title.

tiny_penguin · 10-09-2014 01:59PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

There's one simple reason why men see domestic violence perpetrated by women against men as acceptable, because for some men indeed they would rather their skin take a bruising, and their emotional well being take a bruising, than their ego take a bruising, making them look weak in other people's eyes.

You can tell these men till you're blue in the face that they have nothing to be ashamed of, that it wasn't their fault, etc, but their ego is something that's almost impossible to overcome in order to encourage them to get help.

Men will never talk about domestic violence in the same way women do, because they are afraid to be seen as weak or inadequate, and as poorly as some posters have put it, the simple fact is that some men do indeed care more about the image they portray to others, than they do about their own welfare.

This isn't just true of men, a lot of victims of domestic abuse (physical and mental) feel the same level of shame regardless of gender. I am a women and only 9 years after the fact have I finally lost the shame and realise fully that it wasn't anything I did, I wasn't weak, inadequate or did something to deserve it.

The fact is the more people like Kelly Brook get away with the blasé, jokey attitude towards things like this then attitudes will not change. People commenting that Jason Statham wasn't bothered because he's a 'mans man' is not helping change things. Any act of violence or abuse should be abhorred and jokes should not be made.

Gannicus · 10-09-2014 02:00PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I know which one I'd rather take a box off and anyone who claims there is in fact no difference is a fúcking imbecile.

The debate isn't who's punch would hurt more. The fact of the matter is a punch is a punch regardless of the pain suffered or damage caused as a result of said punch.

I'd rather take a punch off her too but that's not to say I'd want one off of either of them.

darced · 10-09-2014 02:01PM

This post has been deleted.

sbsquarepants · 10-09-2014 02:03PM

Diego Simeone wrote: »

You're making yourself sound fairly desperate here. It's a bit sad.

I'm not courting your approval.

tritium wrote: »

Have you tried that speech with a few battered wives yet? Very classy

If you'd bothered to actually read what I wrote, you wouldn't have bothered typing anything as pointless as this.

green_screen wrote: »

Ugh.

Can't believe people like you actually exist.

No matter what politically correct, gender neutral bolloxology you espouse - men and women are not the same. That's a fact.

Penny Tration · 10-09-2014 02:04PM

darced wrote: »

The man you are talking about is living in fear thats the difference.

First time my ex hit me, I didn't end up afraid of him, because I could take him on physically if i needed to.

Second time, no fear.

Third time, no fear.

So it's okay that he ended up battering me black and blue, because I was never afraid, right?

*hypothetical!*

tiny_penguin · 10-09-2014 02:04PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Come off it would you. There is a big difference between a heat of the moment slap and being a disrespectful scumbag. Women are in general a lot more emotional than men.

I know what it means. Maybe you should look it up yourself. It's a putrid attempt to render the whole world homogenous - it's bollox is what it is and it applies fully here.
Kelly brook hitting Jason Statham does not equate to Jason Statham hitting Kelly Brook.
I know which one I'd rather take a box off and anyone who claims there is in fact no difference is a fúcking imbecile.

pickarooney wrote: »

Everything else being equal, size is, unquestionably the major factor. And in this case it's someone with no apparent fighting skills hitting people whose job involves being battered by massive professional sportsmen. You can micky mouse about it all you like but people's opinions on this seem to spin 180 degrees depending on the thread title.

Its not always about the physical damage that has been caused but the emotional abuse. She may not physically hurt him but the behaviour may be enough to make him feel a little bit like he is 'less of a man' (not saying he is just what he might think) or question what he had done to deserve it and may affect how he acts going forward. This might keep happening until he is a shell of his former self, afraid to talk to another woman, his friends, do anything without her permission. Also it could escalate to further violence while breaking down his will. Today she punches him and causes no damage, in a few months she hits him with a weapon and may knock him out. You just don't know

Gatling · 10-09-2014 02:07PM

Gannicus wrote: »

I know I'll be brought to task for my original post BUT

Thats easy to say now as you're not in a violent relationship but tell that to men who are being physically and mentally abused by their wives and girlfriends etc but are feeling too ashamed or afraid for people to know its happening to .

Been there and done that and have several fractures too

Czarcasm · 10-09-2014 02:09PM

tritium wrote: »

Haha C I actually got a chuckle (as you probably inferred from my response) when the poster complained about the use of the word cow. Terms like mysoginy (which that poster didn't use to be fair) are routinely bandies about in debates like this as a discussion ender. Can't win he debate so lob that grenade and duck (not a dig at you BTW)

Interestingly, if you look at the Ray Price thread, no one batted an eyelid at him being described as a scumbag in the op. I'll give a particular poster in this thread the benefit of the doubt and assume they just didn't get around to it... I'd actually considered using the same term for Kelly but thought cow was more restrained

So is my use if the word cow an example of mysoginy or is people picking up on it while jot being consistent in other threads an example of ingrained misandry?

I would say people being inconsistent is simply because of ordinary, everyday sexism, and the double standard that exists in society that women are seen as the weaker (fairer, whatever word you want to use there) sex. I wouldn't call it misandry as it's not as though people actually hate men - they just aren't particularly as bothered by the issue of female on male domestic violence as they are by male on female domestic violence, so all this talk about "ohh reverse the genders" and all the rest of it, is effectively meaningless.

I've always said it that when it comes to addressing the issue of female on male violence, it's a completely distinct and separate issue from the issue of male on female violence, and cries of "well it happens to men too!", will immediately have people think you can't actually seriously be comparing the two (because of their inherent sexism), and they're then unlikely to take the issue as seriously as you would like them to.

Generally, people are disgusted when a man hits a woman, but the same reaction simply doesn't hold true when you get into silly "reverse the gender" thought experiments. They might work online, for a mere handful of people, but wider society offline doesn't share that same "gender equality" point of view.

TheBeardedLady · 10-09-2014 02:13PM

green_screen wrote: »

It saddens me to see how many men say they'd happily accept her hitting them if she had sex with them too.

Men being victims of domestic violence is taboo enough as it is.

I think if they were actually in that situation, they'd change their minds fast. With that kind of behaviour obviously comes a very unstable person and I'm not sure how long they could put up with that just to get their rocks off with a hot woman.

You know they're the same people who come out with, "Bitches be crazy" garbage. Yeah, of course they are from your perspective because you willingly go out with the minority of crazies because you're so desperate for a ride.

Jesus wept!

The Purveyor of Truth · 10-09-2014 02:13PM

Wibbs wrote: »

How you actually man the fúck up in that situation is if some bint smacks you in the gob, kick her arse out the door followed by all her worldly crap, delete her number and scrape her out of your life. Quality women aren't exactly rare, so why the hell a man would settle for some thick chick who can't control her emotional state? Makes no sense to me. I don't care how big her tits are or how pert her arse. That gets old real quick and when she gets old...

That's fair enough if they're single, Wibbs - but what if they're married.

Don't know any recent examples of men being abused but knew of two back in the 80s and both men were in their 50s, holding down jobs during tough times and so moving out and getting a bedsit wasn't even an option. I believe sleeping in separate rooms was the arrangement in both situations, indeed that seemed to be the solution for many families back then, no matter which gender was the aggressor as people simple didn't have the cash for renting flats and paying mortgages, not that they do today, but there are more families with both parents working today than back then. Far more stigma for dysfunctional families back then also. Especially for the kids who would get teased at school and such if their parents were separated, whereas today I think it's more accepted.

Here's an interesting video on a Men's shelter in the states:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhXfeBFATHw

sbsquarepants · 10-09-2014 02:18PM

green_screen wrote: »

I'll readily admit I'm more emotional than my boyfriend.

However, being emotional isn't what makes you hit a person. Not being able to control yourself is.

I'm done replying to your posts. Defending abuse is sickening and I hope to god you're never again in a position where a woman hits you.

I'm not defending abuse in any way. I just think it's patently ridiculous to say this in any way fits the definition of abuse. As I've already said I've been hit by a couple of women in the heat of the moment - to say I was abused is stupid, untrue and quite insulting to anyone who actually was.

tiny_penguin wrote: »

The fact is the more people like Kelly Brook get away with the blasé, jokey attitude towards things like this then attitudes will not change. People commenting that Jason Statham wasn't bothered because he's a 'mans man' is not helping change things. Any act of violence or abuse should be abhorred and jokes should not be made.

Act of violence? :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: Are you for real.
Jesus Christ, have you seen Jason Statham? Have you seen Kelly Brook?
What odds do you reckon Paddy Power would give on that?
Thankfully the world is not homogenous - there are differences between us.

darced · 10-09-2014 02:19PM

This post has been deleted.

Kelly brook, domestic violence and media silence

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