Your Perfect Pub/Bar

lufties · 08-09-2014 11:56PM #1

So, having spent the last few months here in London I was excited about visiting Shoreditch, A place that is supposedly hip and alternative. I'd hoped to find an authentic pub to suit my taste, A pub with perhaps a live dj spinning out some deep house or chillout, friendly staff, good quality beverages and a nice layout/atmosphere. All in all, it was not what I expected. The stereotype of bearded wannabe hipster is true, I haven't felt more out of place in a long time.

Anyway, it got me wondering what people's ideal pub/bar is/would be..

Zaph · 08-09-2014 11:58PM

Somewhere without a live DJ for starters, and preferably no music at all.

solomafioso · 08-09-2014 11:59PM

lufties wrote: »

A pub with perhaps a live dj spinning out some deep house or chillout,

That would be my idea of hell.

arybvtcw0eolkf · 08-09-2014 11:59PM

Mine would have motorbikes parked outside.. Rock & metal jukebox and bands playing, a dart board and nothing like a pub with clean, fresh toilets.

lufties · 09-09-2014 12:01AM

solomafioso wrote: »

That would be my idea of hell.

Each to their own. Some of us like dank boring establishments..others don't

lufties · 09-09-2014 12:02AM

Camille Orange Sample wrote: »

Mine would have motorbikes parked outside.. Rock & metal jukebox and bands playing, a dart board and nothing like a pub with clean, fresh toilets.

You lost me right there:o

solomafioso · 09-09-2014 12:02AM

lufties wrote: »

Each to their own. Some of us like dank boring establishments..others don't

No no no, house....and "chillout" music. Hell.

:pac:

Hotfail.com · 09-09-2014 12:02AM

Naked ladies.

KERSPLAT! · 09-09-2014 12:03AM

Pool table, decent band in the distance (not too loud that you can't hear yourself think) and good pints. Perfect.

Awkward Badger · 09-09-2014 12:04AM

Old fashioned style pub with open fire, comfortable seats, fcuk all people and some folky music playing.

Agent Coulson · 09-09-2014 12:04AM

Quiet with an open fire and good porter.

Aongus Von Bismarck · 09-09-2014 12:04AM

Irish craft beers, Scottish whiskey, German and French wines. No punters hanging around wearing 'Man U' jerseys and staring at a large screen showing Sky Sports News. Meat and cheese platters. I'd rather no music, but would tolerate some chilled electronica and electro. No pool tables, jukeboxes with heavy metal, or cover bands.

The Backwards Man · 09-09-2014 12:05AM

No music, no TV, no gimmicks, short line, clean jacks and hand polished glasses (FU health inspector)

Oh, and shut at 11 every night.

If I went back to the pubgame, that's the bar I'd have.

solomafioso · 09-09-2014 12:05AM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Bare Naked ladies.

I AM the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral...*sigh*

Panthro · 09-09-2014 12:05AM

a pub with Velcro walls.

No reason.

Links234 · 09-09-2014 12:06AM

Nice craft beer pub, some good food and preferably no music or TV with people shouting and roaring at "the game". If there is to be music, rock/metal

09-09-2014 12:07AM

One that has a teleporter to bring me home again.

Just had a flashback to sitting on floor underneath a parachute in Shoreditch town hall. Was pretty chilled out vibes that night, OP.

Sh1tbag OToole · 09-09-2014 12:10AM

A stone cottage with a thatched roof and red timber door, the bottom part rotten on the outside of a village in the middle of nowhere with grass growing in the middle of the road and a donkey tied to a post outside. Feck all lighting inside, some oil lamps, tealights and maybe the odd carbon filament bulb dimmed to about 30%. Some well worn wooden tables and chairs, few bar stools and a comfy 2 seater couch by the fire.

Own brand fairtrade organic stout and cider on tap. An ouldfella behind the bar who reaches for the shotgun at the first signs of trouble who can have 10 taps going at a time when tis busy without spilling a drop. Oldschool bits and pieces hanging off the wall, pictures from the good old days, no telly, no mobile phone reception, no fruit machine, no hipsters and no mass produced tack except beamish and smithwicks

arybvtcw0eolkf · 09-09-2014 12:11AM

Awkward Badger wrote: »

Old fashioned style pub with open fire, comfortable seats, fcuk all people and some folky music playing.

When they have f*ck all people they go out of business

KERSPLAT! · 09-09-2014 12:12AM

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

A stone cottage with a thatched roof and red timber door, the bottom part rotten on the outside of a village in the middle of nowhere with grass growing in the middle of the road and a donkey tied to a post outside. Feck all lighting inside, some oil lamps, tealights and maybe the odd carbon filament bulb dimmed to about 30%. Some well worn wooden tables and chairs, few bar stools and a comfy 2 seater couch by the fire.

Own brand fairtrade organic stout and cider on tap. An ouldfella behind the bar who reaches for the shotgun at the first signs of trouble who can have 10 taps going at a time when tis busy without spilling a drop. Oldschool bits and pieces hanging off the wall, pictures from the good old days, no telly, no mobile phone reception, no fruit machine, no hipsters and no mass produced tack except beamish and smithwicks

Not ideal for me but you paint a good picture, sounds great!

recylingbin · 09-09-2014 12:14AM

You walk in, there's exposed stone all over the place. The bar has two taps. Guinness for men and some lager or other for the ladies.
There's four old lads at the counter, all wearing flat caps and worn tweed jackets complimented by brown pants and shiny shoes. All have the same level of Guinness in their glasses. and there's a few empty whiskey glasses beside the pints. At one of the tables, there's four or five younger old lads talkin about everything and anything. By the open fire, a dishevelled looking oul lad pipes up every now and then, but mainly he drinks quietly and spits in the fire. There's a group of young lads trying to chat up a group of young ones at the far end. And the barman is friendly and chatty while the barmaid is hot and sassy. There's a telly covered in dust. It hasn't been turned on since last year's AI final.
The jacks consist of two urinals and a cubicle that doesn't always have toilet paper in it. Who knows what the ladies is like, but it smells nice when you pass it.
The only food in there is cheese & onion crisps and kp nuts.

lufties · 09-09-2014 12:16AM

Awkward Badger wrote: »

Old fashioned style pub with open fire, comfortable seats, fcuk all people and some folky music playing.

diddly eye like?

Glock Lesnar · 09-09-2014 12:17AM

A bar with a secret entrance filled with grizzled yet tender clientele where leather is the dress du jour and passion is the fuel that keeps the fire in our loins burning until the pale moon sets and Monday is thrust upon us once more.

Panthro · 09-09-2014 12:17AM

lufties wrote: »

diddly eye like?

Nah, bitta Rammstein.

lufties · 09-09-2014 12:17AM

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

A stone cottage with a thatched roof and red timber door, the bottom part rotten on the outside of a village in the middle of nowhere with grass growing in the middle of the road and a donkey tied to a post outside. Feck all lighting inside, some oil lamps, tealights and maybe the odd carbon filament bulb dimmed to about 30%. Some well worn wooden tables and chairs, few bar stools and a comfy 2 seater couch by the fire.

Own brand fairtrade organic stout and cider on tap. An ouldfella behind the bar who reaches for the shotgun at the first signs of trouble who can have 10 taps going at a time when tis busy without spilling a drop. Oldschool bits and pieces hanging off the wall, pictures from the good old days, no telly, no mobile phone reception, no fruit machine, no hipsters and no mass produced tack except beamish and smithwicks

Love it

griffdaddy · 09-09-2014 12:20AM

Somewhere where everyone isn't a c unt. Thread closed.

Norma_Desmond · 09-09-2014 12:20AM

One with free booze.

lufties · 09-09-2014 12:20AM

Panthro wrote: »

Nah, bitta Rammstein.

Shur you could bring a poetry book to read at the bar between sets, do you wear a beard btw

Panthro · 09-09-2014 12:21AM

griffdaddy wrote: »

Somewhere where everyone isn't a c unt. Thread closed.

So you're saying a place with no mirrors eh?!:D
(I kid, I kid)

The Purveyor of Truth · 09-09-2014 12:21AM

Last night I fell asleep listening to the radio and had the strangest dream that Snopp Dogg lost all his money and could only find work DJing in a bar in Derry. I had no idea why I would dream such nonsense but then later today seen this and so a news report on the radio last night must have somehow partially seeped into my sleeping brain. Tonight I'm gonna play some 70's porn in the background, see what happens.

lufties · 09-09-2014 12:22AM

recylingbin wrote: »

You walk in, there's exposed stone all over the place. The bar has two taps. Guinness for men and some lager or other for the ladies.
There's four old lads at the counter, all wearing flat caps and worn tweed jackets complimented by brown pants and shiny shoes. All have the same level of Guinness in their glasses. and there's a few empty whiskey glasses beside the pints. At one of the tables, there's four or five younger old lads talkin about everything and anything. By the open fire, a dishevelled looking oul lad pipes up every now and then, but mainly he drinks quietly and spits in the fire. There's a group of young lads trying to chat up a group of young ones at the far end. And the barman is friendly and chatty while the barmaid is hot and sassy. There's a telly covered in dust. It hasn't been turned on since last year's AI final.
The jacks consist of two urinals and a cubicle that doesn't always have toilet paper in it. Who knows what the ladies is like, but it smells nice when you pass it.
The only food in there is cheese & onion crisps and kp nuts.

Nooooooooooo

Your Perfect Pub/Bar

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