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Daughter going to college

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Comments

  • #32
    monflat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,490 ✭✭✭monflat


    Also you say she does not have much regard for money?

    Why is that?

    Did she always get everything she wants

    Has she ever had a little job earning her own money.?


    You need to talk to her soon as she needs to start planning accommodation etc wherever she goes


  • #33
    Adamantium
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭Adamantium


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Could I suggest you compromise. Explain your financial status to her. She's old enough to face facts. Let her have one year in Galway - IF she's accepted for a course. She will struggle to find a part time job, but suggest she tries, either in Galway or nearer home. After the academic year ends, review things. Then decide where to go for the rest of her academic life. Treat her like an adult and hopefully she'll respond like one. Every student should have at least one year of student life!

    Wait so she has to uproot after 1 year again after making friends and a life in Galway, why?

    Enough of the stop start crap! I wasted too many of my younger years on that crap, our college fees are extraordinarily low, heavenly in fact, a guy I know in the US has 100,000 worth of debt after college

    BTW: Galway (NUIG) is fantastic, but you do need to focus while there. Though I started there at peak Celtic Tiger time, so things were more wild. #COUGH overturned cars, 1000's of students standing on and under bridge on Monday morning RAG# Terrible times, COUGH they were pretty fun. :P


  • #34
    The Peanut
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,169 ✭✭✭The Peanut


    This is probably not the correct forum for your question.

    The parenting or education arenas might be better destinations.


  • #35
    Berserker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,043 ✭✭✭Berserker


    JonKelleher wrote: »
    Realistically, she shouldn't go to any IT. Unless you go to a university, and a top one at that, most top level graduate programmes and jobs will be out of her reach. I would recommend repeating and trying to get higher points.

    I wouldn't necessarily agree with that. Personally, I studied at two NUI's and some of the people I graduated with never found work in our sector, IT. I have come across loads of people from ITs during my career working in the sector.


  • #36
    Kevhog1988
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,584 ✭✭✭Kevhog1988


    both me and my older sister were in college for 2 years at the same time. Were from Kildare too. I lived at home in 1st year and traveled by bus. Had saved all summer of 6th year working 2 jobs and so didn't ask parents for a penny. In second year i lived in dublin and again paid my own way. Travelling home to work on a building site any days off, holidays etc i got. in final year i travelled again, had a car on the road so was commuting to maynooth and getting the train.

    There were guys in my course who had never had a job and parents paid for everything. They had no real value of money but some of them did get better degrees than me as i was working, missing the odd day to pay for college etc. Luckily the contacts id built up during college landed me a job as soon as i finished college.

    Id make her at least contribute something… maybe pay her fees and accommodation and she can look after heating, food, booze etc herself. Only thing is part time work is not as plentiful now as it was.


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  • #37
    JonKelleher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 302 ✭✭JonKelleher


    Berserker wrote: »
    I wouldn't necessarily agree with that. Personally, I studied at two NUI's and some of the people I graduated with never found work in our sector, IT. I have come across loads of people from ITs during my career working in the sector.

    Apologies, you may well be entirely correct. I am speaking of the sectors I have experience in - investment banking, aviation finance, law.


  • #38
    Faolchu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,742 ✭✭✭Faolchu


    Specialun wrote: »
    is she hot?
    exactly she could get part time job keeping old farmers company


  • #39
    JonKelleher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 302 ✭✭JonKelleher


    Faolchu wrote: »
    exactly she could get part time job keeping old farmers company

    Wow.


  • #40
    Bepolite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,737 ✭✭✭Bepolite


    I find in AH people say what they think, what they really think, no matter how dumb and without regard for making themselves look more intelligent. OP you've had some great advice here... I do hope normal service in AH resumes shortly.

    Give her a budget, anything beyond that she pays herself. I personally go to GCD some of my class mates are minted, and I mean rolling in it. Even Daddies little princess who has a brand new BMW and a horse pays her own way in regard to drinking money - well that's when she's not getting free drinks off the myriad of lads trying to get a shag.

    And... we're back.


  • #41
    Faolchu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,742 ✭✭✭Faolchu


    JonKelleher wrote: »
    Wow.
    well i could have said selling her arse at a curb side


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  • #42
    Tarzana
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭Tarzana


    jake66 wrote: »
    Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.

    She doesn't know that yet, she might not be short. Points vary from year to year and you won't know until next week.

    On the rest of your post, I think you need to clearly outline to her the extra cost of going to Galway. If she sees it written down in plain english she might change her mind. It's not like you're depriving her of college or anything.


  • #43
    MS.ing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 680 ✭✭✭MS.ing


    also degrees are the new arts degrees


    just take one of those ones from the bog roll holder


  • #44
    thegreatgonzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,623 ✭✭✭thegreatgonzo


    jake66 wrote: »
    Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
    All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
    She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
    My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
    We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
    I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
    I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
    I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
    Any suggestions please...

    Why is this realization only dawning on you now? It was unfair of you to let her think all this time she could do whatever course she gets offered only for you to pull the plug at the last minute.
    If she has no regard for money that's your fault sorry.
    My suggestion is that you talk to her and be honest about your financial situation.


  • #45
    JonKelleher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 302 ✭✭JonKelleher


    MS.ing wrote: »
    also degrees are the new arts degrees


    just take one of those ones from the bog roll holder

    Hear, hear.

    Now it's all about the institute you earned it from. And, depending on your chosen industry, post-graduate study, again at an esteemed institute.


  • #46
    Bepolite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,737 ✭✭✭Bepolite


    JonKelleher wrote: »
    Hear, hear.

    Now it's all about the institute you earned it from. And, depending on your chosen industry, post-graduate study, again at an esteemed institute.

    Bollocks. There's less than ten courses in Ireland that would be on a par with the leading (Mainland) European universities, let alone the US and UK. At least 5 of those would be Irish Law, Politics and History.

    You get ahead in this world by being exceptional in what you do no matter what institution you graduated from. Unless you're talking about being a worker drone for one of the many tech companies that are here because of the low corporation tax rate. Companies that will move on at the drop of the hat if tax system changes leaving people wondering why they don't even get interviews internationally.


  • #47
    Tarzana
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭Tarzana


    JonKelleher wrote: »
    Realistically, she shouldn't go to any IT. Unless you go to a university, and a top one at that, most top level graduate programmes and jobs will be out of her reach. I would recommend repeating and trying to get higher points.

    I went to Trinity and I don't get this attitude. Take a while looking around Linkedin - lots of IT-educated people in Ireland have good jobs with great companies.


  • #48
    Bepolite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,737 ✭✭✭Bepolite


    Tarzana wrote: »
    I went to Trinity and I don't get this attitude. Take a while looking around Linkedin - lots of IT-educated people in Ireland have good jobs with great companies.

    I've never come across this 'I went here look at me attitude' from Trinners students and I have a fair amount of interaction with them. It always seems to be other Irish Universities that have this paranoia that they're not quite good enough.


  • #49
    JonKelleher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 302 ✭✭JonKelleher


    Bepolite wrote: »
    Bollocks. There's less than ten courses in Ireland that would be on a par with the leading (Mainland) European universities, let alone the US and UK. At least 5 of those would be Irish Law, Politics and History.

    You get ahead in this world by being exceptional in what you do no matter what institution you graduated from. Unless you're talking about being a worker drone for one of the many tech companies that are here because of the low corporation tax rate. Companies that will move on at the drop of the hat if tax system changes leaving people wondering why they don't even get interviews internationally.

    Please tell me of a single course being offered in Ireland, undergraduate or postgraduate, that is on par with a similar course being offered in Oxford, Cambridge, LSE, Science Po etc?

    You think if you have a degree from an IT you will a job with a top law firm, investment bank, consulting firm?


  • #50
    takamichinoku
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,110 ✭✭✭takamichinoku


    I don't get why you left it until this late to really think about it ...and it seems a bit disrespectful to your wife at least to not talk to her about it before now, she's presumably a lot more aware of your financial situation than your daughter is.
    If you want to be the big man carrying the weight of everything, you've to actually deal with it rather than leaving it dwelling on your mind until it reaches a crisis point.

    You've realistically got to talk to the two of them about it imo. It would've been easy enough of a conversation three months ago, cannot imagine it'll go down well at all this week. :(


  • #51
    JonKelleher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 302 ✭✭JonKelleher


    Tarzana wrote: »
    I went to Trinity and I don't get this attitude. Take a while looking around Linkedin - lots of IT-educated people in Ireland have good jobs with great companies.

    You take a look on Linkedin. Does anyone with an IT education have a job with a top law firm, investment bank, management consultancy? I'm not saying it's right, but it's a fact.


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  • #52
    Bepolite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,737 ✭✭✭Bepolite


    JonKelleher wrote: »
    Please tell me of a single course being offered in Ireland, undergraduate or postgraduate, that is on par with a similar course being offered in Oxford, Cambridge, LSE, Science Po etc?

    You think if you have a degree from an IT you will a job with a top law firm, investment bank, consulting firm?

    If there is a barrister with a bare pass from DBS who is winning in a particular niche I can assure you Mapels et al kicking in their door (not that they'll have one sitting in the Law Library.

    I can't talk for investment banks, but the list of business entrepreneurs that don't have a 3rd level education (or graduated from institutions with less than stellar reputations) that would be paid top dollar for consulting is very long.


  • #53
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I wound never say I was a perfect parent far from, while both mine got money from me it was never a free for all, another thing I have noticed some parents seem to be afraid of telling their teenagers the financial situation there are in ( especially girls for some reason ) if you cant afforded college it is very unfair for anyone to only tell their child weeks before college.

    If her main aim is having the craic and she has no regard for money I would be wary, how would you feel if she dropped our after first year after you had spent all that money, mind you one of mine developed amazing money management skill when she moved out and was responsible for herself.


  • #54
    Santa Cruz
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,126 ✭✭✭Santa Cruz


    The_Valeyard wrote: »
    I'm honestly surprised AH has not made an ' sure I'll be riding her soon' joke.


    Op reach a deal. Pay for rent or certain allowance each month but expect her to gain part time employment.

    "I'm honestly surprised AH has not made an ' sure I'll be riding her soon' joke."

    That was going without saying. Didn't want to gt him completely upset


  • #55
    Tarzana
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭Tarzana


    JonKelleher wrote: »
    Please tell me of a single course being offered in Ireland, undergraduate or postgraduate, that is on par with a similar course being offered in Oxford, Cambridge, LSE, Science Po etc?

    There's not many courses anywhere that will be on a par with those institutions.


  • #56
    JonKelleher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 302 ✭✭JonKelleher


    Bepolite wrote: »
    If there is a barrister with a bare pass from DBS who is winning in a particular niche I can assure you Mapels et al kicking in their door (not that they'll have one sitting in the Law Library.

    I can't talk for investment banks, but the list of business entrepreneurs that don't have a 3rd level education (or graduated from institutions with less than stellar reputations) that would be paid top dollar for consulting is very long.

    Yeah, but such barristers are not applying to graduate programmes with law firms. Similarly, top entrepreneurs aren't applying to graduate programme with MC. The OPs daughter will presumably be applying to graduate programmes once her spell in university finishes. Also the examples you cite are exceptions to the rule. In the vast majority of cases, top firms and MCs hire graduates from selected priority universities. Again, I'm not saying it's fair or equitable, but having been involved in hiring in such firms, I know it to be a fact.


  • #57
    irishguy1983
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,389 ✭✭✭irishguy1983


    jake66 wrote: »
    Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
    All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
    She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
    My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
    We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
    I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
    I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
    I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
    Any suggestions please...

    Why does she think you guys are loaded? Did you kind of throw money at her or did you teach her the value of money? Like it would be a bit harsh to deny her now if you've being generous shall we say in recent years - I am guessing she thinks you are loaded as you have been very generous with cash before - nothing wrong with that - I am not giving out!


  • #58
    JonKelleher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 302 ✭✭JonKelleher


    Tarzana wrote: »
    There's not many courses anywhere that will be on a par with those institutions.

    Precisely. So if you happen to graduate from one of these courses you will have a distinct advantage over the rest of the graduate pool.


  • #59
    hmmm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,192 ✭✭✭✭hmmm


    Fair enough if she was doing some fancy degree that required a top-end college somewhere far away, but if you're only doing a degree in an IT I don't see the point of spending a fortune on it. But as others have said, you've left this conversation too late.


  • #60
    Tarzana
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭Tarzana


    JonKelleher wrote: »
    You take a look on Linkedin. Does anyone with an IT education have a job with a top law firm, investment bank, management consultancy? I'm not saying it's right, but it's a fact.

    Hmmm, you do know there are great careers to be had outside these fields? Law is a very fusty old profession anyway, very bogged down in tradition. And actually, management consultancy, yes. Might not be Morgan McKinley, but I do know a GMIT graduate working for Accenture as a consultant. And certainly the big 4 take on top performing students from ITs for training contracts.


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  • #61
    from_atozinc
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,784 ✭✭✭from_atozinc


    jake66 wrote: »
    Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
    All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
    She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
    My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
    We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
    I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
    I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
    I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
    Any suggestions please...


    why the fook did you post this in of all places "after hours " ?!?


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