Daughter going to college

jake66 · 14-08-2014 03:33PM #1

Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
Any suggestions please...

ComputerKing · 14-08-2014 03:35PM

jake66 wrote: »

Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
Any suggestions please...

Just pay for her to go to college will you.

Last_Minute · 14-08-2014 03:35PM

Your money, your choice.

suicide_circus · 14-08-2014 03:36PM

Send her down the mines!

ScumLord · 14-08-2014 03:37PM

jake66 wrote: »

I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
Any suggestions please...

There's nothing wrong with getting her to cover at least some of her costs, she is supposed to be an adult now. Unless she's planning on being a kept woman relying on a man to pay her bills (which makes collage pointless) then it's time she start looking after at least part of her own expenses. I'd say you're being a better parent making her pay.

iwantmydinner · 14-08-2014 03:38PM

jake66 wrote: »

Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
Any suggestions please...

Just tell her to get a part time job if you're worried about money. If she wanted to do a PLC and/or to a college closer to home then that's what she would have picked.

super_furry · 14-08-2014 03:38PM

Is she planning to get a job when in Galway? Any support you give her should be conditional on her at least making an effort to support herself.

Cantremember · 14-08-2014 03:38PM

Teach her to have some regard: don't pay everything in Galway for her. Leave her to make up the balance by getting work.

Pro Hoc Vice · 14-08-2014 03:40PM

jake66 wrote: »

Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
Any suggestions please...

Why now a few days before CAO offers are you asking these questions the time to have had this discussion with your daughter was this time last year, why did you not set out the family budget, work in any possible grants etc., and set out what the family could afford per year and the cost estimates for each college.

ben.schlomo · 14-08-2014 03:40PM

jake66 wrote: »

Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
Any suggestions please...

Youre really going to get some super helpful answers to this genuine problem in AH!!

BeerWolf · 14-08-2014 03:41PM

If you're financially strained, you can always opt to pay for it and have her pay you back some, or all, of it through a part time job throughout the course.

monflat · 14-08-2014 03:41PM

Is that what a year in college costs now? My god that's shocking money
Can you break down the12 grand into segments.
Fees accommodation etc etc

sblythe · 14-08-2014 03:42PM

Wait, is your daughter actually expecting you to pay 12 GRAND a year for her to go to college, just because she wants to, as you say, college life and the craic?

Its your money. Ultimately, you make the decision.

SureYWouldntYa · 14-08-2014 03:42PM

Why are you talking to AH when you should be talking to your daughter about this ?

smileyj1987 · 14-08-2014 03:42PM

Give her 3 fiddy and tell her to pay the rest herself .

Holsten · 14-08-2014 03:49PM

Paying for her to party away at college is stupid.

If she wants to go she can get a job to pay for rent/drinking money.

Egginacup · 14-08-2014 03:50PM

Cantremember wrote: »

Teach her to have some regard: don't pay everything in Galway for her. Leave her to make up the balance by getting work.

When I went to college in Dublin I was lucky enough to be able to live at home so there was no added expense for my mother. She paid my fees, but each summer I worked and paid her back what I could. My fees were £1500 per year and my monthly bus ticket was I think about £60. I took sandwiches most days so it was not too bad.
12k a year is a lot and if she insists on going to Galway then you're going to have to level with her and state outright that you just don't have the money whether she believes you or not. Tell her you can pay her fees and half her rent and that's all. Tell her you can't pay her drinking fees or her bus home every weekend.
12k is too much...you pay all that and there is NO way she's going to get a summer job. She'll be expecting you to stump up for her interrail ticket and her after exam junket to Shagaluf.

The_Valeyard · 14-08-2014 03:53PM

I'm honestly surprised AH has not made an ' sure I'll be riding her soon' joke.

Op reach a deal. Pay for rent or certain allowance each month but expect her to gain part time employment.

ted1 · 14-08-2014 03:54PM

jake66 wrote: »

Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
Any suggestions please...

i would question your figures.

2750 registration = 2750
350 a month rent (9 months) = 3150
100 a month bills elec and heat= 900
food 60 a week *36 = 2160

that's only 8960.

Barely There · 14-08-2014 03:55PM

jake66 wrote: »

I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
...

Well, that'd be your fault.

tobsey · 14-08-2014 03:56PM

ted1 wrote: »

i would question your figures.

2750 registration = 2750
350 a month rent (9 months) = 3150
100 a month bills elec and heat= 900
food 60 a week *36 = 2160

that's only 8960.

Ah well in that case sure it's only a pittance

PizzamanIRL · 14-08-2014 03:57PM

Sounds like you're a softie. She wants to go to Galway for college life and the craic? And you're ok with paying 12k for that? I would aye. Give her a reality check and let her know the value of money

MagicMarker · 14-08-2014 03:59PM

ted1 wrote: »

i would question your figures.

2750 registration = 2750
350 a month rent (9 months) = 3150
100 a month bills elec and heat= 900
food 60 a week *36 = 2160

that's only 8960.

The rest goes on contraception.

Riskymove · 14-08-2014 04:00PM

ted1 wrote: »

i350 a month rent (9 months) = 3150
.

does rent work like that if you want a place for 4 years?

monflat · 14-08-2014 04:01PM

ted1 wrote: »

i would question your figures.

2750 registration = 2750
350 a month rent (9 months) = 3150
100 a month bills elec and heat= 900
food 60 a week *36 = 2160

that's only 8960.

I'd be making her pay bills and half of food. At least and her travel expenses she'd have to come up with herself.

Of she ain't goin to get a little job now with pocket money she ain't goin to work once out of college.

Working class people maybe but your daughter may be thinkin of living the high life in.Galway

Berserker · 14-08-2014 04:03PM

I was lucky when it came to 3rd level studies, I was able to live at home for my undergrad and I got a scholarship to fund my postgrad studies. If your daughter wishes to go to NUIG, I would part fund her studies and give her the responsibility of working part time and making ends meet. Have you discussed this with her, at all?

MS.ing · 14-08-2014 04:04PM

its people like you that give joe duffy their living

"joe I bought a house I couldnt afford joe, it was a loan like they never want all the money back would they? my daughters education I couldnt afford"

good luck with that. and remember houses are only for christmas, no bother, send the keys back to the bank. be grand.

oldyouth · 14-08-2014 04:04PM

Let her choose the course that best suits her. The location and cost are secondary considerations. All part of the territory

JonKelleher · 14-08-2014 04:06PM

jake66 wrote: »

Our daughter got her leaving results yesterday. She did well but is going to be short of points for her first choice course.
All of her courses are for NUI Galway and GMIT.
She wouldn,t have enough for NUI Galway.
My problem is that as we are in Kildare with plenty of colleges around us, should she be going to Galway?? This will cost about 12 grand per year for 4 years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with GMIT but she could go to Carlow IT or one of the Dublin IT,s which would save us about 2-3 grand a year.
We are lucky as we are both working and have some money "boxed off" and will find enough for her to get through.
I know she is going to Galway for the college life and the craic and I don,t want to begrudge her that.
I have said nothing to my wife about this or my daughter as I didn,t want to spoil her day, but should I suggest that she do a PLC or get some sort of employment for a year and reapply next year for somewhere closer to home..
I know I sound like a real tight arse here but we are working class people and this girl thinks we are loaded and she doesn,t have much regard for money.
Any suggestions please...

Realistically, she shouldn't go to any IT. Unless you go to a university, and a top one at that, most top level graduate programmes and jobs will be out of her reach. I would recommend repeating and trying to get higher points.

14-08-2014 04:07PM

Could I suggest you compromise. Explain your financial status to her. She's old enough to face facts. Let her have one year in Galway - IF she's accepted for a course. She will struggle to find a part time job, but suggest she tries, either in Galway or nearer home. After the academic year ends, review things. Then decide where to go for the rest of her academic life. Treat her like an adult and hopefully she'll respond like one. Every student should have at least one year of student life!

Specialun · 14-08-2014 04:08PM

is she hot?

Daughter going to college

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