Primary school memories...

I'm fairly sure I was one of the weird kids in primary school, it makes me cringe now

I remember, we went to london for a school trip, we had a new priest who was very into 'cool' stuff, and we were supposed to stay half way there, and eat, the school was providing packed lunches, you know the ones with a disgusting sandwich, biscuit, crisps, carton of juice. Some lads supposedly, so they said, took the lunches out before we left, so we stopped at the service station, everyone got out, no lunches :pac: they ended up organising us (about 60 kids) into KFC to get a kids meal.

On that same trip, we were staying in a hostel, and this other kid had 'smuggled' 5 bottles of ginger beer with him, and said it was really alcoholic and we'd get really drunk off it. Ended up with the priest saying he was gonna have to sleep in our room with us to keep us out of trouble, amazing how I didn't see anything dodgy in that but there you go.

One time, in year 5 I think, the teacher had this box on her desk, not a cool box, but it had like, £7 in pounds coins in it, which is a lot in that time, and this bloke nicked it off the desk, took the money out, and left the tin on the desk. Teacher comes in, sees the tin, takes it, and asks him where the money is. He says 'what money' she makes him turn his pockets, and he swears blind the £7 is his, and not from the tin :pac:



As for my own weird contributions

- cried when I couldn't join the chess club
- Used to randomly smash my head on the desk
- Smashed my head open and broke my arm on the way to the library
- Used to deliberately fart so we'd have to be allowed to go outside.
- Said 'sod off' to the priest after hearing it on the foyle family, christ was my arse red afterwards :mad:




Turned out that priest (the one I said sod off, not the other one) was guilty of child molestation charges, as he'd been taking kids from my school and other schools up to yorkshire for the weekend for years, and doing.... stuff up there. And I used to beg to go

I left primary school in 1969 and have never felt any desire to return. I remember being scared witless most of the time.

There's a couple of smells that take me back there in a flash. That sweaty kid / stale food / milky smell that all schools seem to have. The other is pine sawdust. The caretaker would go around with a big bucket of pine sawdust and use it to cover up the results of any kids puking up.

I hated school dinners. There was no choice. Everyone had them. They were awful. The dinner ladies would make you finish your meal. I remember one kid made a dart for the swill bin and triumphantly emptied his plate. The dinner ladies made him finish his dinner from the swill bin, in floods of tears. Probably where all the puke came from.

Times were not as child protection focused as now. I remember one teacher a Miss G. She always wore short mini skirts and always seemed to be reaching up for something high up giving the class a view of her knickers. At the time we all giggled but looking back she must have known. If only from the cool draft

Miss G used to take the boys swimming to the local pool and would be walking around the changing rooms - checking us out I suppose.

Girls and boys used to do PE together in their underwear. There was no equipment it was just a weird sort of dancing around interpretation thing. Got my first glimpse of a fanny when Jackie M had a wardrobe malfunction

Funny times

Someone stealing the kitkat from my lunchbox on my first day of school and being too afraid to tell anyone.

Found a half to almost full can of beer (or some other yellow liquid) at the back wall of the school. My parents were teetotallers so I thought this was some incredibly unusual thing to stumble across. Kept it hidden and told all my friends that I was after finding a full can of beer but they weren't allowed see it. After a few days of being asked to show it, I let one kid see it during break and he almost immediately told everyone so at lunch time this one guy with ADHD ran out to it and poured the whole thing over his face.

Had an eraser that was mint scented for whatever reason at the start of fifth class. Was showing my friends to see if they could figure out why and one of them ate it.

Being completely bemused as all of my friends in sixth class spent every lunch time running rings around the school making revving noises pretending to be 206's and whatnot.

Thinking I was poorer than everyone else.

Old mental priests visiting and taking up half the day to rant about what a shower of pricks we all were.

Being called gayboy quite a lot from 1st class onwards.

Having to clean the school up for 1-2 hours at the end of each day.


...I was laughing a bit at these when I started posting them, but I just realised primary school f*cking sucked!

Spring Onion wrote: »

Small half pint cartons of milk...often gone off.

cartons? you're only a youngfella. They had the tiny little glass bottles in my day. They had a layer of cream on top of the milk. delish. If you were the person in charge of giving out the milk to the class you were in a position of great power. If there was somebody you didnt like you gave them their milk last so it had a chance to go warm.

cloud493 wrote: »

...
- Used to deliberately fart so we'd have to be allowed to go outside.
...

what sort of obnoxious fumes were you producing that required the whole room to be cleared?

I hated primary school with a fiery passion. The only perk was rolling down the hill repeatedly at lunch time.

Beano wrote: »

what sort of obnoxious fumes were you producing that required the whole room to be cleared?

I don't know, I just know when I farted we all got to go to the playground for 10 minutes to air the room.