Primary school memories...

Hotfail.com

Primary school is a strange place.. Got any good stories?

We had a resource teacher who none of us would go near because there was a rumour she'd throw chairs at you if you got a question wrong..

Our janitor (is that even the term?) decided one day to take off his glove and show us the two stumps he had left because the fingers got amputated after a wild cat bit him.. Keep in mind we were in first class and this scared the shíte out of us

Calling my pen a "jackass" when I dropped it on the ground in second class and some little shít told on me and I got in "big trouble".. :rolleyes: He's now a scumbag who's going to court after being caught with a sizeable amount of ecstasy :cool:

The telly that they wheeled in when there was some shítty educational programme to watch, something like "FarmZone" where they turned it into a game that just made jumping into a slurry pit sound cool.. :rolleyes:

Playing the fúcking tin whistle.

When the priest came in and someone asked him a question about evolution and he'd nearly shít himself trying to answer in the most Catholic way possible

I really really hated the place. :mad:

You guys are better at this storytelling caper than me Share!

The Backwards Man

A can of club orange burst in my coat pocket on a trip to Belfast Zoo and wet all my money. Then, I laughed at the monkeys and the principal bought me an animal book in the giftshop.

Spring Onion

Small half pint cartons of milk...often gone off.

hairyprincess

The Backwards Man wrote: »

A can of club orange burst in my coat pocket on a trip to Belfast Zoo and wet all my money. Then, I laughed at the monkeys and the principal bought me an animal book in the giftshop.

Belfast zoo if you don't mind!! Kids now are lucky to get to Lurgybrack!

KeithM89

10 smiley faces!? Calm yourself.

The Backwards Man

Spring Onion wrote: »

Small half pint cartons of milk...often gone off.

One of them burst in my coat once too.

FierceMild

Fondest memory of primary school is being told the teacher was out that day, and ripple of joy that went through the room as the television was wheeled in.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

the breasts on the Senior Infants teacher who taught my little brother.

thegreatgonzo

Had a teacher who used to smoke away on sweet aftons in the classroom while telling us to never take up smoking.

Ruu

'Give that man a can of coke!', we never got the Coca Cola factory tour that my brother went on.

Ours were trips to Newgrange, Dublin Zoo or Blanch shopping centre. When finishing up on one evening, we picked up the group of teachers in a pub looking very unsteady on their feet. A big woooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh from the back of the bus when they got on.

sh__93

When the local priest would come in for penis inspection day.
Ah, the nostalgia.

The Backwards Man

hairyprincess wrote: »

Belfast zoo if you don't mind!! Kids now are lucky to get to Lurgybrack!

We had great tours, transport museum in Holywood, Omagh folk park, belfast zoo.

Looking back, it was the height of the troubles and the school were probably getting them dirt cheap.

RayM

Discreetly changing the words of religious songs. 'Peace' always became 'piss'.
Those Quinnsworth 'computers for schools' tokens.
Getting relentlessly slagged for accidentally calling the teacher 'mammy'.
Being told not to laugh whenever the kid who always wet himself... wet himself.
Sniggering whenever 'private parts' were mentioned in the 'Stay Safe' videos.
Teachers panicking when the 'cigire' (inspector) was due to visit.
Zacchaeus was a greedy little man, who cheated all the people in the land. When their rent they could not pay, he would take their land away, the miserable little bollix.

Hotfail.com

Ruu wrote: »

'Give that man a can of coke!', we never got the Coca Cola factory tour that my brother went on.

Ours were trips to Newgrange, Dublin Zoo or Blanch shopping centre. When finishing up on one evening, we picked up the group of teachers in a pub looking very unsteady on their feet. A big woooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh from the back of the bus when they got on.

We went to Aillwee Cabes in Sixth class, and besides that it was either no school tour (which I think happened in 3rd-5th year) or Fota Wildlife Park. And it always rains in Fota so we just got soaked and muddy.

newmug

People's parents dying young, especially mothers. There seemed to be someone's mammy dead every week. Very sad.

Skill Magill

6 of the best, in the principles office, Bamboo or leather, your choice

Skill Magill

newmug wrote: »

People's parents dying young, especially mothers. There seemed to be someone's mammy dead every week. Very sad.

Were these unfortunates also missing their homework?

chakotha

Irish comhra classes with projector on a screen.

The sensation of the teachers parker pen across the knuckles.

How tomato sandwiches made in the morning taste disgusting by lunchtime.

Long forgotten wrapped squashed uneaten tomato sandwiches at the bottom of the school bag minging.

Schoolyard games - tip the can, red rover, tip release etc.

Extra classes after school: french, recorder and elocution in different years.

The race for the swings near the bus stop after school.

The school milk scheme.

The SCHOOL TOUR! Cork harbour in a boat, Dublin Zoo, Sherkin Island, Gougane Barra in various years.

newmug

Skill Magill wrote: »

Were these unfortunates also missing their homework?

???? Eh, no. There genuinely happened to be a lot of young mothers who coincidentally died in my area around the 80's. It is one of my enduring childhood memories. Most of their kids are still around, and it clearly affected the courses of their lives.

Lia_lia

Ruu wrote: »

'Give that man a can of coke!', we never got the Coca Cola factory tour that my brother went on.

Haha. I brought that up at work the other day and no one in my team knew what I was on about! Not even the one fella from Dublin!

We went in 5th class.

FierceMild

chakotha wrote: »

Long forgotten wrapped squashed uneaten tomato sandwiches at the bottom of the school bag minging.

I had one of those in 5th class, except it was egg and ham sandwich. Forgot about it completely and then when I started to notice the smell, I was too afraid to get rid of it.

By the time I actually got round to it, it was close to growing appendages and crawling out by itself.

Lia_lia

I was in the 1st class Alive-O video (we were in an older class when it was filmed). Alive-O 3! Pretty sure they still show it in schools. Even-though it is from the late 90's.

We had a camera crew come to our school. Took a massive chunk out of the year, was gas. I actually lost the video we got of it, would love to see it again. I have a seriously dodgy English accent in it.

Ruu

Is it my turn to get the projector today? Pol Peist, that little gurrier!

Hotfail.com

Lia_lia wrote: »

I was in the 1st class Alive-O video (we were in an older class when it was filmed). Alive-O 3! Pretty sure they still show it in schools. Even-though it is from the late 90's.

We had a camera crew come to our school. Took a massive chunk out of the year, was gas. I actually lost the video we got of it, would love to see it again. I have a seriously dodgy English accent in it.

How did I forget the Alive-O! songs!?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry! I hurt your feelings called you names I want to be your friend again! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry!"

The bane of my 8 year old life.

Lia_lia

Hotfail.com wrote: »

How did I forget the Alive-O! songs!?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry! I hurt your feelings called you names I want to be your friend again! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry!"

Imagine having to learn them all and do dances to them on camera and sing them over and over again for a year :pac:

"I've got a body clock lissssteeeen listeeeeen-en!"


Remember the Siamsa Annuals? They were great.

Hotfail.com

Lia_lia wrote: »

Imagine having to learn them all and do dances to them on camera and sing them over and over again for a year :pac:

"I've got a body clock lissssteeeen listeeeeen-en!"


Remember the Siamsa Annuals? They were great.

"Circle of friends all around you, circle of friends string and true-ue, circle of friends always there for you!"

I think we only got the Siamsa annual one year.. Can't really remember it to be honest

Look what I found! :pac: http://education.dublindiocese.ie/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/1st-class-Alive-O-songs-part-4.ppt

Jakey Rolling

Singing "10 Little Ni**er Boys" for our school play in 1st class. I was number 2, got frizzled up in the sun IIRC.

It was 1972 though, different times!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

RayM wrote: »

Discreetly changing the words of religious songs. 'Peace' always became 'piss'.

I remember when I made my Confirmation, we did a song with the first line "Peace is flowing like a river..." --- that one was just askign for trouble...

Aidric

Our headmaster had a massive dandruff problem. Didn't help himself by always wearing a navy jumper.

Other than that not a whole lot. Won the annual tennis tournament in my final year only to be subjected to dogs abuse by the twin sisters of my opponent for not letting him win. The reason? They were best friends with my sister.

gg2

Going up to the bruscair to pare your pencil and having a wee natter up there with a fellow student who had to pare theirs too. That one always sticks out when I think of primary school. I had lots of excellently pared pencils.
The smell of the bucket of the little mini milks ewwwww
Huggy bear

zcorpian88

When I was in primary everybody had juice boxes rather than bottles of orange or whatever, so all you would hear for all the lunch break was people bursting their juice box by jumping on it. One day I came out of the canteen onto the school yard and there was a juice box on the ground, nobody busted it, so I lifted my size 5 clarks and flattened it, it was a full one and I made the kid sitting next to it cry, it was his!

Bringing the "rula"/ Role book down to the principal and getting a hand full of jelly tots as a reward and being chuffed going back to class.

Singing the Grace Before Meals Prayer before lunch time and then saying the Grace After Meals prayer in the line up before going from the yard back into class.

Watching our principal lose the rag after coming in to announce somebody mashed shyte on the wall in the boys toilet! and he went from class to class to get somebody to own up or "they were a COWARD!!"

Hating the sporty people in my class because they got out of class for sporting events, also they tended to get away with misbehaving in class compared to the students not representing the school at sport.

Having the chat with your class mate pairing your pencil at the bosca bruiscair.

Ringing the angelus bell like a boss at 12pm when it was your turn!

DaveNoCheese

Had our principal Christy teaching me for 4th, 5th & 6th class...

He let off smelly squeaky guinness farts as he walked up and down passed ya, he'd be shouting so hard at you that not only would be he be spraying you with spit... Sometimes his false teeth would fall out and you'd have to pick them up for him.

He was also mad for the gaa, he'd be f'ing and blinding you as he ran the length of the field!

Quite a character!

Going mitching in 5th class and getting seen smoking by the local parish priest.
Hated primary school. Hated the other kids in the school.

DazMarz

I had the ignominy of having one of my parents being a teacher in the primary school I attended, so I got away with NOTHING. Everything I did would be reported back to them in the staff room. Even as a kid, I was cute enough to be aware of this, so I was extra careful if I was ever going to get up to shíte.

Add in, I was born when my parent had been teaching in said school for like 15 years, so they were good friends with a lot of the other teachers there. Hence, a lot of the teachers in the school knew me and all from the time I was born!!! :eek: So... I REALLY got away with nothing!!!

***

One thing that sticks in my mind, and this was 20 years ago!, was the teacher we had in Senior Infants (6 year olds). She was some headcase. An absolute loo-la with an attitude problem. Could never warm to her at all. She was a venomous, machete-mouthed cow. I think she suffered a nervous breakdown a few years back. Can't say I was sorry or anything.

***

I remember drifting into a daydream when I was in 4th class, staring off into space for ages. I only began drifting out of it when I noticed a few heads in the rows in front of me had turned around and were looking at me. Then I realised the teacher was looking at me with an eyebrow raised and a "look" on their face. I finally, embarrassingly realised that the teacher had asked me to read from the book, but I had been in a blissful la-la land for at least ten minutes...

***

One of the more "upsetting" memories of my sporting time in the school was being on the losing team in the final of the school's perpetual football trophy... twice. First time when I was in 5th class. I was the team's vice-captain and the best goalkeeper in the school. The way the competition was structured, it had players from all the classes from 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th classes on each team. We had an UNREAL team this year. The best footballers from each class. Yet, we still lost. It was bitter.

The following year, I was in 6th class. This time, I was captain and, once again, the star goalkeeper. We played amazing, but a dinked goal over my head and a defensive performance that makes Ireland's last stand in Russia look pale in comparison saw us "robbed" again. I wept over it. You'd swear it was the Champions League Final or something, but it was a trophy that had years of bragging rights attached to it.

***

Every year, it was tradition for the previous year's 6th class (now in their 1st year in secondary school) to come back and play against the current 6th class in a football match. Usually, a combination of being older, fitter and having hit puberty saw the 1st years win the game. Handily.

The year I was in 6th class, however, that changed. We played our hearts out, got creased by tackles, got flattened a lot... but we won! The first time in an age that the 6th classers had beaten the 1st years. It was amazing.

***

Myself and two others got onto that RTE kids show "Stream" when we were in 6th class. It was actually me, one of my best friends and a tomboy girl who was like one of the lads. We kicked an unreal amount of ass, got a huge amount of prizes and goodies and had a ball.

One thing that sticks in my mind is that before the recording began, you had a "practice" round. The host would ask questions and each team would practice answering. We actually had to be told to stop answering so many to give the other team a chance to use the buzzer and to know how to answer!

The host even referred to us as "his" team and was dead sound to us. Loved it!

***

many, many more than currently elude my memory. :P

alroley

In sixth class we all drew/painted pictures for the school Christmas cards. Mine was seriously amazing. It was a beautiful painting of an old snowy village at Christmas. I probably couldn't do one so well now. I spent days working on it. I had seen most of the other submissions from my class and I was 100% sure mine would be picked. Well, this other girls lame drawing of Santa got picked. I was fuming :mad:
(weirdly I ended up going to secondary school AND college with that girl. Not just the same college - she was doing the same course as me)

In fourth class we had these forms to fill out each time we had read a book and get our parents to sign it. It came time to hand it in to the teacher - I had actually read the books but I had forgotten to get my mother to sign it. That morning at school I forged her signature. It got to the end of the day and the teacher hadn't asked for the form. I had forgotten all about it by the time I got home. Next day she came around collecting the forms. She got to me and I handed it to her, I was very proud of all the books I had read. I can't remember her exact comment but it was something along the lines of "maybe next time you could actually get a parent to sign it". I was shocked, I thought my forged signature was very good. Turns out my mother had found it in my bag and told the teacher that morning

Our secretary came in to our class one day and ended up giving us a lecture about personal hygiene because the smell of sweat from the boys after playing football was so bad.

In fifth class for PE the boys had to do hurling and the girls had to do hockey. I wasn't too pleased to be told I couldn't do something the boys were doing just because I was a girl. It ended with me sitting in the middle refusing to play hockey.

Also in fifth class, I never did my homework. My teacher would usually just ask randomly a few of the answers or just do a quick check around the room. I honestly don't know how I got away with it for so long. One day it was coming up to English time and I didn't have the work done. It must have been important or I knew she would check it properly so I went as far as asking her could we do history instead that day. I conveniently went to the bathroom while she was checking the homework. I was in there and all I heard was "Where is alroley gone now!?". I actually don't remember the rest of that day at school but I do remember the talk I got from my parents that evening.

zcorpian88

One really bad memory just popped in my head from primary, probably pissed me off more than anything in primary school...

I was in 6th class, and this particular week I had the misfortune of having a sister in transition year doing her work experience, she wanted to be a teacher for years so she landed in her former primary school which was still my primary school.

Anyway she went from class to class all week eventually landing in my class towards the end of the week, my sister was at the other side of the classroom correcting copies and class was going ahead as normal, we were doing geography and the teacher was asking random geography questions and she threw a question at me and on this ocassion I didn't know the answer and said "I didn't know" now this teacher is never normally this strict and she would never have done this to anyone else but she gives out to me in front of my sister AND gave me like 100 lines for not knowing the answer.

I just sat there seething with rage but tried not to lose it because I knew what she was doing was complete bulls**t but thought I shouldn't call her out on it because my sister was there and I'd embarrass her but I was so mad about what this cow did, so I went home later that day in really bad form and my sister the goody two shoes that she is reported me to mam and dad. I said "I wasn't doing it because she only did that because my sister was there and she was an unreasonable cow"

Parents made me do it regardless, thinking about it now still pisses me off 12 years later! I was totally in the right and my parents made me do the punishment anyway and wouldn't even listen to reason and take my side that the teacher was just being a bitch by unfairly punishing me and humiliating me in front of 30 students and my sister.

When I see the teacher on the street I still think about it and still want to give her an earful over it, crazy as it sounds.

RayM

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

I remember when I made my Confirmation, we did a song with the first line "Peace is flowing like a river..." --- that one was just askign for trouble...

...flowing out of you and me.

"Make me a channel of your peace" was another one.

james66

Rolly polly, standing in the corner, excitement at getting to ring the bell, entire class had to use mouthwash from those weird cups, penis inspection day, serving mass.

Sirsok

Me and my cousin used to pretend we were a protection agency and ask all the smaller guys if they were being bullied and whom was doin it, we would then go up to the bullies and tell them to back off....

We also used to play wrestling in the school yard and gave someone a move call the 3 D , which resulted in that person accidentally Landing in a pile pile of doggie poop. We felt bad but was hilarious.

Also when Pokemon cards suddenly and my premier league stickers were worthless.... No one was even interested in the shineys

Misticles

Playing pogs in the shelter and someone stealing my eagle slammer!

Travellers got buns, milk and sambos..... We got zilch.

Getting a slap on the back off a nun.

Playing RATTLESNAKE in the yard

Skipping

Playing that game where you had elastic bands around two peoples ankles

So many memories...I think the best is... My parents couldn't afford a pe kit for me so I got a hand me down, which would have been fine had that person been in the same school as me. I was scoil mhuire and for a few years I wore a pe kit with the scoil Aine crest and name on it in red.. I stuck out like a sore thumb

Mr Keek

Those plastic rulers and confusting 'Shatter Proof' with 'Indestructible'.... You'd wack it off the side of some clowns head and be surprised when it snapped on two!

Being made 'Class Captain' and every time the teacher left the classroom it would you job to sit in front of the class and write down the names of every one who misbehaved on the black board when the teacher was gone for a smoke or to photocopy something!

Once a month a nurse came from the local health board and she'd have a fluoride mouth wash, that we had to gargle and spit it back into the cup..., of course being our age your mission was to get the fella beside you to laugh and spit his mount wash all over the place.

Putting you teachers car for sale on Auto trader!

Conquers, and covering your horse chestnut with Tipp Ex or glue to make it stronger!

Breaking the tip of your pencil just so your could take a break and top it at the bin! Also calling a pencil sharpener a topper!

And my personal favourite, the bishop called to my school when in first class, he asked where was Jesus born?.....like a smug fecker, I stuck the arm up and answered the question, but I confused Bethleham with Bermingham!

Duggy747

Someone made a luminous green shìte that had a black tip on it but couldn't flush the toilet to get rid of their evidence where I was the unfortunate bastard who discovered it.

Everyone ended up having a look at this mutant, possibly radioactive, monstrosity. We tried flushing it but the flush in the toilet was rubbish so that thing wasn't moving an inch.

Our teacher saw everyone gathered around the cubicle, he came up behind us and told us to clear off but not before he saw it and roared out:

"What in..........what in the name of Jesus is that!?!..............."

We never did find out who gave birth to what was known as The Hulk.

Mr Keek

The B.C.G

BetterThanThou

I remember once my teacher had to step out of class for a few minutes for whatever reason, as usual, she asked the teacher next door to keep an eye on the class. As per usual, the class made a load of noise, and the teacher from next door came in, gave us some kind of rant about being quite and respectful, and right before he leaves, he just lets off an f-bomb out of nowhere. We all thought it was hilarious.
And this second memory is from secondary school, but still a great memory none the less. I was never great at Irish, so come fifth year, after barely scraping a pass in my Junior Cert, I was put in the lowest Irish class, the majority of the class were just people who didn't try, and a few others like myself, who just weren't great at Irish. Most of the class never behaved, bar myself and a few other students. The class was constantly talking, refused to do work, some were even disrespectful to the teacher, and I saw them deal drugs in the middle of class on at least one occasion. One day the teacher had enough of it, she took her hand bag and her car keys, left the school and drove home.

Mr Keek

Remember at Christmas, and you'd only be in first or second class and you'd be giving your class mates Christmas cards....., you'd give all your Holy/Religious cards to the innocent lads and you gave the Christmassey cards to your cooler friends!

handbagmad

The small cartons of milk.
In 2nd class at break we were handed out our milk. It didn't taste right n lot of us complained. Teacher made us drink them anyway.
ha ha. Hot classroom two hours later cue about 15 kids puking their souls up.

Duggy747

Those small cartons were called Yogi Milk, weren't they and there were strawberry flavoured ones?

Stunk the place out because they'd be left in the sun or somebody would hold onto one for a week.

handbagmad

Duggy747 wrote: »

Those small cartons were called Yogi Milk, weren't they and there were strawberry flavoured ones?

Stunk the place out because they'd be left in the sun or somebody would hold onto one for a week.

we got a choice normal milk or Benny bunny strawberry. They stopped giving the strawberry stuff after many projectile vomiting incidents lol

osarusan

Holding a ruler on the edge on the table and bending and releasing it so it produced that twanging vibrating sound, then moving the ruler in towards the centre of the table so the sound increased in pitch.

Huell

Rock hard balls of mála

Sir Arthur Daley

Knocking one out to miss.doherty at lunch time.