Craic with engagement rings

Pumpkinseeds · 30-07-2014 12:10PM

Candie wrote: »

If it was really important to me that other people thought my intended bankrupted himself to buy me something shiny, I'd buy a nice Cubic Zirconia ring and tell everyone it's a diamond. Unless someone whipped out a loope and started evaluating the cut and clarity, no one is going to know the difference. It's all about the perception.

I lost a stone from my diamond cluster engagement ring, it'd have been really expensive to replace the stone and tbh, while I loved the ring because of what it represented, I never actually liked it, I wouldn't have chosen it myself. Instead I found a nice trinity ring for under 200 that my husband is getting me to replace it. The quality of cubic zirconia dress rings is excellent and I'd be hard pushed to tell the difference between that and a diamond.

We've been together for 18 years, I don't need another very expensive ring.

Bacchus · 30-07-2014 12:12PM

OP, get your girlfriend involved. I never understand this need to surprise your other half with a ring that, in a lot of cases, cost a small fortune and that she will wear for the rest of her life... hopefully :pac: Let her be involved with picking the ring. All it takes is to be a little bit creative with the proposal and have an appointment at a jewellers set up for that day. Sorted.

If you need to, when making the appointment with the jeweller, specify a rough budget so they know not to venture north of that when ye go in.

If you're looking for something more low key, more individual to your tastes, would you consider getting a ring made? That's what my wife and I did. I made the appointment weeks in advance with DesignWorks in Cork (great place btw) and proposed with their card in place of a ring. We had a great morning about Cork, went in for the appointment, spoke with the designer & picked the ring. Budgets ranged from a few hundred to... well as high as you wanted really. Very enjoyable experience and my wife now has a ring she loves as opposed to your typical thin band and big ass diamond type ring (not that there's anything wrong with those, it just wasn't what she wanted).

30-07-2014 12:15PM

There's a brand called diamonfire, I occasionally get distracted by its shiny display in my local jewellers. Their stuff is so so sooooooo pretty. And cheap. It's cheap. Cubic Zirconia on rhodium plated sterling silver. It's absolutely stunning, no one (unless they really knew what they were looking at) would be able to tell the difference between that and a diamond ring.

I would buy all the rings (and I don't even really wear jewellery) except my fingers are too bloody skinny for everything and their sizes start at too big a size for me to get them sized down.

30-07-2014 12:19PM

anncoates wrote: »

Only Whitney Houston was that fond of the rock.

Good one Ray.

fits · 30-07-2014 12:22PM

Cubic zirconia is not as hard as diamond and scratches and loses its lustre over the years. It wouldnt be my first choice. Moissanite (also less durable) or lab diamonds would probably be a better option if you dont want a mined diamond.

This article gives a good overview of the ethical issues http://www.ethicalconsumer.org/commentanalysis/fairtrade/ethicaljewellery.aspx

Lainomac · 30-07-2014 02:31PM

OP You can get any amount of rings out there for €1000 or thereabouts. I am with the other women on this thread when I say I wouldn't be comfortable with a hugely expensive ring. It IS seen as a waste of money by a lot of women, I for one would rather keep the ring at a reasonable cost and then if he had money assigned to it that was left over go away together and enjoy it together, there is more to life out there than material things, although there are two kinds of women out there when it comes to getting married, those who want a marriage and those who want a wedding. The ring is just symbolic of your never-ending love for each other, you don't need to spend thousands on getting the right ring, you DO need to change jewellers though as it sounds like they saw you coming through their big glass window

best of luck!

ash23 · 30-07-2014 02:49PM

If I ever get married I will not mention the word "wedding".

We will buy a nice ring. I will book a nice hotel for a "family gathering" with a nice cake for the same.

Mention the word "engagement" or "wedding" and the price probably doubles or what you want is made out to be not good enough.

Money racket.

The One Doctor · 30-07-2014 03:35PM

It's amazing how cheap the engagement rings can be. I won't be spending more than €350 as my gf never wears jewelry and doesn't really buy into the whole wedding thing.

magicmushroom · 30-07-2014 03:58PM

2-3k is ridiculous, don't mind that woman - I had a beautiful engagement ring and I actually think it was less than €500.

If she doesn't like rings then maybe she won't want one at all?
No point in wearing something just for the sake of it!

Bacchus · 30-07-2014 04:15PM

ash23 wrote: »

If I ever get married I will not mention the word "wedding".

We will buy a nice ring. I will book a nice hotel for a "family gathering" with a nice cake for the same.

Mention the word "engagement" or "wedding" and the price probably doubles or what you want is made out to be not good enough.

Money racket.

Good luck with that. Seriously, bookmark this and come back to it when the day arrives :pac:

As for "money racket", yes weddings cost a lot but it's only a money racket if you're a bit of a dope and go with the wrong vendors or put vanity ahead of finance. Rings are probably the biggest racket of it all though TBH, I've no doubt a lot of jewellers fleece newly engaged couples for every penny. Helped on of course in many cases by a woman with diamonds in her eyes and a fella trying to save face and not look cheap. As I said, it's vanity that makes it a money hole.

eviltwin · 30-07-2014 04:33PM

Do the staff in jewelers earn commission on sales?

DaisyD2 · 30-07-2014 05:11PM

I'm from the Don't Do Engagements/Wedding crapola camp - but having said that I bought my own Diamond Ring whilst on a holiday. It caught my eye - on Sale! - & I got all giggly over it so I bought it. Got it home & took it to be resized & jeweler wanted to put me on staff when he seen receipt, said you wouldn't get gold here for what I paid for it.

While he was sizing it he said god love any man who tried to propose cos he'd have a job finding an Engagement Solitaire to balance it & asked me would I like to try some on - hell yes! I tried on a few but 2 stood out at €40,000 & €100,000+, both looked crap on me, size, shape etc was all wrong. Most rings bought to "surprise" imo fall into "looks crap" category for simple reason the man bought (was pressured) into buying the bigger showier ring that doesn't suit short/long sausage/tapered fingers of his beloved.

A friend of mine has a €100 Argos diamond you can barely see but she has the daintiest hands it looks lovely on her & suits her perfectly but number of people who laughed behind her back was sickening at the time.

I really think if your going to propose buy a nice purple amethyst that doesn't break bank & tell her you'll go ring shopping with her if she still wants to but by sounds of her she'll probably decline - the 2nd ring idea not the proposal

Cantremember · 30-07-2014 06:09PM

Realistically, the diamond ring industry is an advertising stroke of genius and that's about all. Except for how deeply it has become embedded in the minds of those about to be engaged! Along with the three day wedding, the stag, the hen, the best mans speech, etc etc. social animals like us are often governed by the herd.

ash23 · 30-07-2014 06:27PM

Bacchus wrote: »

Good luck with that. Seriously, bookmark this and come back to it when the day arrives :pac:

As for "money racket", yes weddings cost a lot but it's only a money racket if you're a bit of a dope and go with the wrong vendors or put vanity ahead of finance. Rings are probably the biggest racket of it all though TBH, I've no doubt a lot of jewellers fleece newly engaged couples for every penny. Helped on of course in many cases by a woman with diamonds in her eyes and a fella trying to save face and not look cheap. As I said, it's vanity that makes it a money hole.

What makes you think I won't follow through? I've never been one for fuss or drama. Any "big" event in my life thus far has been low key and on a budget. I don't expect my engagement or wedding to be any different.
My daughters communion cost me less than 60 quid including food.

Some women just don't want the big diamonds and the fanfare that accompanies the traditional wedding.

Tail Docker · 30-07-2014 07:31PM

Irishcrx wrote: »

So I've been entertaining the idea of getting married recently, took me eleven years to entertain it but I reckon i'm heading that way now...maybe...

I decided to look into getting a ring of some sort , now my other half isn't really into rings or jewellery so she has told me before if I ever do decide to 'finally' ask her she doesn't want me to spend big money on a ring would rather use the money towards the wedding or house/whatever.

So I went to the jewlers and made some enquiries and by the time I left my head was already spinning and my stomach was doing 360's from the stress and thought of actually having to plan a wedding.

I'd imagine she would want a purple stone or something , doesn't like diamonds or that, so I looked at a couple of nice rings under a grand but according to the store clerk, 'there aren't engagement rings' so she points me in the direction of anything that is over 2k - 3k.

I ask what the differance is as they look the exact same as the one's I was looking at just in a differant section, I explain I don't care nor does she about carrots , diamond quality or what mine they had to prize it out of I just want something simple and symbolic of my intent....again I got not an engagement ring.

So lads , what's a man to do?(Don't say run I'd years to do that) I might get drunk before I go back in to a store...

My missus is a jewellery dealer. She sells a lot of rings etc and knows her onions. Rule of thumb, whatever it is priced in the jewellery shop, it is worth a third the minute you buy it, and any insurance valuation is inflated by a factor of three or four over the real value. If it is 3k in the jewellers, it's a €600 ring, max. But if you buy a €600 ring, it's a piece of garbage worth feck all, ring blanks cost only tens of euros and small stones can be bought for peanuts.

Get thee to an auction, preferably a pawnbrokers one, and spend 1k on a nice ring there, you'll get value for money and a nice ring. Buy a 1ct single stone and a good 18ct band under it. They hold their value and are decent quality.

fits · 30-07-2014 07:59PM

That's good advice in terms of getting something that will hold its value.

however, I recently had cause to try on many rings, and it is impossible to know what will suit until you try it on. Design and durability mattered a lot to me as I don't plan on reselling. And I really don't like a lot of the fashionable blingy stuff. Ended up getting something made by a small local jeweller. Yes we could have gotten a bigger stone for less, but odds are I wouldn't have liked it. and I didn't really care about the size etc of the stone anyway.

montyrebel · 30-07-2014 10:11PM

the next time you are getting down and dirty, get her in the doggy position and then stick it in her ring and ask her then :pac:

Craic with engagement rings

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