Craic with engagement rings

29-07-2014 04:40PM

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

LOL.

Pay no attention to what she said. Women also say stuff like 'Don't be getting me anything expensive now, I'd mush rather the money went on things we need, blah blah blah'. For the rest of your lives there will be a story behind whatever ring you buy. No matter what she, or any other woman says, she will attach meaning to the amount of money that you decide to spend and so make sure it's an amount that hurts, not much, but enough that she will always be able to say that 'even though we couldn't afford. he bought this' when she shows her family and friends. She'll roll her eyes and tut tut you, but deep down she will be so happy that you bought the best ring for her that you possibly could, without it meaning that you ended up on the streets.

In fact, I would say if the ring means you have sleep rough for just a few weeks, still buy the damn thing. The sex will be assume, who cares if strangers get to see it too.

What a load of absolute shyte.

funk-you · 29-07-2014 04:42PM

Nobody ever didn't get a blowy for giving the Mrs diamonds....just sayin'...

-Funk

cherryghost · 29-07-2014 04:45PM

Worst part is when the couple are expecting you say 'ah tis lovely' for said couple of thousand euro ring when deep inside you're thinking 'I've seen prettier things pop out of my arse'.

I never got the wife an engagment and we're as happy as we ever can be.

ScumLord · 29-07-2014 04:45PM

I think jewelry is a waste of time, Diamonds as we all know here are just overpriced lumps of carbon. I had always been under the impression that real gold and gemstone jewelry would go up in value but that doesn't seem to be the case. When you sell your jewelry it's taken apart and sold for scrap.

I think most people like the symbolism of it though, so you need to find something that will symbolise your marriage, you could get a piece of art, something that will gain value over the years and that can be passed down to children. Every time someone looks at it it will carry that meaning and story with it.

iDave · 29-07-2014 04:47PM

Slightly off topic but do you still have to ask the dad for permission?

Adamantium · 29-07-2014 04:47PM

Snuggle up to your dearly beloved on the couch..."Dear you what would really test our love? A trip to Rwanda!"

"We leave tomorrow, so you better get watching this Blu-Ray of Blood Diamond tonight"

"You know how to dig right honey? Don't worry you'll know learn quick enough"

cherryghost · 29-07-2014 04:49PM

iDave wrote: »

Slightly off topic but do you still have to ask the dad for permission?

Never did but probably should have. My wife is Argentine. I couldn't speak Spanish at the time and her dad couldn't speak English so language barrier would have been difficult regardless. The wife didn't want me to meet him.

Plus he's in the Argentine military, very passionate man and weeks later I snuck her into Ireland :P

A couple of years later I'm back in Argentina. Our first meet was very very awkward.

CruelCoin · 29-07-2014 05:00PM

Irishcrx wrote: »

I decided to look into getting a ring of some sort , now my other half isn't really into rings or jewellery so she has told me before if I ever do decide to 'finally' ask her she doesn't want me to spend big money on a ring would rather use the money towards the wedding or house/whatever.

Nooooo!

This is one of those "I'm fine" moments.

Never, ever cheap out on the ring, no matter what they tell you.

It'll come back to haunt you.

For the record: I think it's a hideous waste, but expectations and all that.

Bog Standard User · 29-07-2014 05:01PM

give here an onion ring like homer simpson did

Onion Engagement Ring

Wompa1 · 29-07-2014 05:08PM

Buy a decent engagement ring. Don't cheap out. I'm not saying it's a deliberate trap like others but it is something of significance in the whole debauchery of traditional marriage. Personally, I'd rather her get faux upset because I spent 'too much' on a ring than have it fester in her head for years and come out when she's upset about something else. But that's just my 2 cents.

Christ, isn't marriage an awful load of ****e!

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller · 29-07-2014 05:11PM

Jaysus Cheryl Cole has a lovely ring.

pcardin · 29-07-2014 05:12PM

snaphook wrote: »

Propose and then later take her on a trip to a few Jewellers.
Let her pick out something that she likes.

3 months salary and all that BS is for brainwashed dopes.
It would eat me up to spend a couple of grand on a shiny bit of carbon.

If you're minted then sure spend thousands for a top notch ring, but scrimping or worse getting into debt for a ring just to save face to snobby arseholes is a bad state of affairs.

Amen!

29-07-2014 05:12PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

Nooooo!

This is one of those "I'm fine" moments.

Never, ever cheap out on the ring, no matter what they tell you.

It'll come back to haunt you.

For the record: I think it's a hideous waste, but expectations and all that.

OP I'd be the same as your girlfriend. Even a grand seems like a crazy amount of money to spend on a ring. Maybe it would be best to get her to pick it out herself? You don't need a ring to propose.

And nevermind the lady in the shop, she just wants you to spend money and thinks all girls are the same and want a big diamond lump that costs a bomb.

29-07-2014 05:16PM

Wompa1 wrote: »

Buy a decent engagement ring. Don't cheap out. I'm not saying it's a deliberate trap like others but it is something of significance in the whole debauchery of traditional marriage.

It's not traditional it's about 100 years old

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller · 29-07-2014 05:20PM

This is wrecking my head now: but what film was it where the guy pretends to the girl that he wants to do a magic trick on he, then ties a line of thread to her finger when she agrees, holds it high and then lets the ring slide down the thread really fast onto her finger and proposes when she sees it?

29-07-2014 05:21PM

I don't really like jewellery much I just don't get it I suppose, if I was you I would search our some hippy jewellery maker tell them you have a budget and get some thing unique made for her it might not have diamonds but nobody else in the whole world will have the same one and that make it special. Get some word or daft saying that only the two of ye get engraved on the inside.

Smidge · 29-07-2014 05:22PM

May seem a bit left field OP but what about trying pawn brokers.
Your oh may not want a run of the mill ring. Go for something vintage. It may seem more like you put lots of thought into it than just a ring from a regular jewellers. I would say not to break the bank for a ring but if I saw something special that I knew she would love, I would throw an extra few quid at it.
Also don't bring her to pick it out, surprise her

Pumpkinseeds · 29-07-2014 05:23PM

Do you know if she has a preference for styles of rings OP? If she likes solitaire styles, clusters, trinity rings? I know you said she doesn't wear a lot of jewellery, but if you take a look at any rings that she might have in her jewellery box it might give you an idea. Never mind sales bs about 'engagement' rings. Any ring can be an engagement ring and a ring that she loves with an amethyst stone will be appreciated far more than an overpriced diamond.

Mr. Incognito · 29-07-2014 05:36PM

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

Ok, I fold under your rolleye stare, Its me, I judge people with [EMAIL="cr@p"]cr@p[/EMAIL] engagement rings.

Funny that. I judge people with crap shallow materialistic fiancés who don't realise that diamonds are essentially worthless.

I judge a person based on their character not their carature

Anyone that needs validation from their friends/ co workers/ and perfectly other good non giving a fcuk strangers instead of their fiancé is not in for a happy marriage.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller · 29-07-2014 05:40PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

Nooooo!

This is one of those "I'm fine" moments.

Never, ever cheap out on the ring, no matter what they tell you.

It'll come back to haunt you.

Indeed.. and now we take a short intermission for some funnies: (1, 2, 3).

Babooshka · 29-07-2014 06:45PM

Bahhhh none of these threads should be allowed, about engagement rings, wedding presents, people's opinions on your wedding, what happens when you're close to divorce and who gets the dog.......none of them, they end in killins...stop it now and do whatever you want to do!!!

Medusa22 · 29-07-2014 07:32PM

You just have to be firm with the girl in the shop, and tell her that it doesn't matter if it is an ''official'' engagement ring or not, you know that your girlfriend doesn't care about that. She can keep insisting but you keep standing your ground.

If your girlfriend likes purple stones then I'd suggest an amethyst stone, that's what I have in my wedding ring. (It cost 265 euro and I love it, perfect for me). My engagement ring cost 32 euro and I couldn't give a fiddler's fart what anyone else thinks!! Get what will make your girlfriend happy OP, don't be pressured by the girl in the shop.

http://www.hsamuel.co.uk/webstore/l/jewellery/stone+type|amethyst/category|rings/

Plenty of amethyst rings on that link, some at decent prices too, and my wedding ring is there

KCC · 29-07-2014 08:17PM

Edit to say just read you said she doesn't like diamonds, but does like purple stones. In that case go for a Tanzanite white gold solitaire; oval or pear shaped I think you can buy it on some of the tv shopping channels. Try ebay and etsy also. Weirs probably do it but v. expensive there.

What exactly is your budget?

The "standard" is usually a one carat round diamond 18k white gold ring. It could cost around €5k to 7k. You could buy online or abroad to save money.

I know this won't go down well with some, but I have never ever seen a nice engagement ring that a man has chosen himself. I don't know if this due to bad taste or that they go for the cheapest diamond ring possible.

So if getting a cheap ring isn't a factor, that's fine, but don't make the mistake of thinking that style is not important. Ask your girlfriend to pick out a few different styles on a website that she likes the look of and buy a style that is similar to one of those. She can even "build" her own ring online for free with no obligation on many sites.

Vintage style is very much in fashion now - see http://www.bluenile.com/ie/build-your-own-ring/settings?track=NavEngVintage. Halo rings are also all in - http://www.bluenile.com/ie/build-your-own-ring/settings?track=NavEngVintage

You could also to google seeking a thread called "Show us your engagement ring" (yes, Im afraid this does actually exist). See http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/show-me-your-engagement-ring/ for some beautiful ones.

You could try Moissanite instead of diamonds - see https://www.moissaniteco.com/. There are a few UK shops/websites that sell moissanite rings, even www.amazon.co.uk and ebay. You can also get factory made diamonds or indeed replica diamonds. Even experts would need a microscope to tell the difference.
If I was to do it all again, I'd probaby go with a moissanite ring

If you are going to go with a gemstone ring, I would suggest Tanzanite for it's beauty and rarity.

For more ideas see:
www.etsy.com
http://www.weirandsons.ie/CUuploads/Content/308/55659554i.jpg

http://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/pave/14k-white-gold-pave-cathedral-claw-prong-engagement-ring-item-1637

Holsten · 29-07-2014 08:40PM

5 to 7 GRAND for a piece of diamond worth nothing?!?!

Thank god I'm against marriage, absolute madness.

derb12 · 29-07-2014 08:41PM

Irishcrx wrote: »

...
So I went to the jewlers and made some enquiries and by the time I left my head was already spinning and my stomach was doing 360's from the stress and thought of actually having to plan a wedding.
...

Stop the madness now. The world is full of people who will go on and on about what is "the done thing" for your wedding - there's a whole industry built around it. You and your future missus need to relax, sit down and decide what you want to do for your engagement/wedding/life together and you need to decide from the outset that you are going to do things your way.

Forget about the cow in the jewellery shop. If you want to mark the commitment that an engagement represents, then do something that you fancy. The whole ring thing never interested me. We bought a lovely painting for our engagement and I still love it. Or go away for a nice weekend together - spend your money on something that you want and not something that other people assume you want.

Also, I checked out that "show us your engagement ring" and I have to say I thought the rings were either vile in and of themselves or else the looked horrible on stubby bitten-nail fingers. But that's just me!

bboybaboy19 · 29-07-2014 08:47PM

Holsten wrote: »

5 to 7 GRAND for a piece of diamond worth nothing?!?!

Thank god I'm against marriage, absolute madness.

You know you can get married without spending that much money on an engagement ring, right?
Actually you can get married without spending ANY money on an engagement ring. But yeah..thank god you're against marriage

oppenheimer1 · 29-07-2014 08:49PM

KCC wrote: »

What exactly is your budget?

The "standard" is usually a one carat round diamond 18k white gold ring. It could cost around €5k to 7k. You could buy online or abroad to save money.

I know this won't go down well with some, but I have never ever seen a nice engagement ring that a man has chosen himself. I don't know if this due to bad taste or that they go for the cheapest diamond ring possible.

It's funny that there was a marketing thread in AH just yesterday since the diamond engagement ring has to be one of the one of greatest marketing campaigns of all time. DeBeers turned worthless stones into a must have item and have made a fortune out of it in the process by restricting supply. Before the 'diamond is forever' campaign it wasn't e even customary to purpose with a ring let alone a diamond one.

Contrary to what is said in the post quoted, DeBeers encouraged men to buy the ring themselves and surprise their partner since they found that men spent far more when they bought it alone. They even came up with rules to help men part with their cash, first it was a months salary, now I believe it's three.

The idea that you need to spend a fortune on a worthless ring to 'show your devotion' is absurd and many men have gotten into serious debt over it. Surely a far more practical way of demonstrating commitment would not be to waste thousands of euro but to spend it on say a deposit for a house or something like that.

KCC · 29-07-2014 08:49PM

Holsten wrote: »

5 to 7 GRAND for a piece of diamond worth nothing?!?!

Thank god I'm against marriage, absolute madness.

I agree with you on the cost front, but not on the marriage one!

I bet most men would be surprised by that figure while but most women wouldn't?

We didn't spend that ourselves as we bought abroad but most of my friends' rings would have cost around that.

Murray007 · 29-07-2014 08:51PM

Propose as nicely and romantically as you can, say you are clueless (it's a cute thing to say, although it's likely you might be, if you are an Irish man in the jewellery buying game) and suggest you ring shop together.

It's the safe way to go. Anything else is juggling with knifes.

fits · 29-07-2014 09:08PM

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Funny that. I judge people with crap shallow materialistic fiancés who don't realise that diamonds are essentially worthless.

.

Most things are intrinsically worthless. We bestow their worth on them (even if helped along by market control in case of debeers).

Craic with engagement rings

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