Funny moments at funeral's!

Maphisto · 29-07-2014 08:23AM

Mars Bar wrote: »

A woman walked up to my granny at my great aunts funeral and in all seriousness, said "ara sure, funerals are much better than weddings. It's just the one family and not split in two like a wedding."

Heard that quite a bit, with reasons like:

- you don't have to dress up / buy new outfit
- you don't even have to look your best - its OK if you're a bit miserable/unkempt
- no present to buy
- can sit where you want at the meal
- can talk to who you want and ignore anyone you don't get along with.
- you may not have gotten along with the person in the box.

When I first heard these I thought they were just humorous observations - as I get older I find they're truer and truer.

gillymuffins · 29-07-2014 12:53PM

At my grandfarthers funeral a couple of years ago, there was a few young children in attendence. Being kids, they were bored at mass and running around chasing each other and being told to sit down.
Que my cousin, who was around 5 at the time, being told by his mother to sit down but continued to look at her and not where he was going and ran straight into the coffin. People had to jump out of their seats to catch it before it fell over.

At the same funeral, the priest put the words of the hymns onto a projecter so we could all sing along. My uncle turns to me and says 'Ah brilliant, me da got karaoke!'
People thought we were sobbing and trying to hugs us when we just couldn't stop laughing.

Swiper the fox · 29-07-2014 01:03PM

A friend of mine moved to New Zealand a few years ago, she was in a job for about two weeks when the mother of one of her colleagues died. Being a good Irish girl she found out the arrangements and showed up to the funeral home or whatever it was to find she was the only person there from outside the very close family. Irish people and funerals, wha??
The fella Pat Fitz who writes for the Indo magazine had a very good story recently, I think his wife is from Spain or something, the first time she went to an Irish funeral she was dreading it beforehand, anticipating all the grief etc, at the end of the night leaving the pub she turned to him and asked "when's the next funeral?"

takamichinoku · 29-07-2014 01:13PM

Loving this thread! I haven't really got anything as good as most of these (un?)fortunately.

My mam, who was teaching infants at the time my dad died, was presented with a bunch of condolence cards made by her class. They were pretty damn cute; drawings of a family with one figure having the shape of a coffin drawn around them, x's for eyes, that kind of thing... a whole load of ones of people standing around graves with big crazy tears flying out of their heads. Think I've some photos of them lying around.

At my friend's mam's removal, I went up for the shakey hands part and proceeded to go through the whole family with a big smile on my face all upbeat to these people I never met before going "hello! how are ya?! how's it going?!.." realised and froze when I got to the dad at the end and said "...eh, sup?" My friend was pissing himself laughing at me.

When my neighbour died in 2011, his brother took the removal as a chance to go on a big rant about how Fianna Fail will rise again.

At a funeral earlier this year I hadn't shaved in a while and my somewhere-on-the-spectrum cousin walked right over to me, stood still, stuck his finger into my philtrum and said "moustache!"

29-07-2014 01:33PM

My uncle used to make a few quid as a gravedigger back in the day. One time he had a suit "put by" in the drapers in the town, and he used to pay it off bit by but every week.
One night he was at a house party with my parents when the host of the party took a turn and died in the armchair. While everyone else was frantic and calling the ambulance, my uncle stood up and said "theres me suit paid for now"

zcorpian88 · 29-07-2014 01:41PM

Wasn't at this particular funeral but I got a good one...

About 10 years ago my Dad's uncle died suddenly, my dad hadn't spoke to him in years but was devastated over it, he and my mam went to the funeral which was in another county, in the back of beyonds in the wesht.

They and the rest of my extended family stayed in the village where the funeral was.

The grief felt by the close family of my dad's uncle was immense due to the suddeness of the death naturally.

Cutting to the chase...all the family and friends piled into their cars and drove 30 miles down to road to where the church was. Everyone was in the church and the service about to start.

Next thing this whispering begins to start and spreads all around the church, with some confusion on peoples faces.

What was being said was "Where's Aunty Mary?" Followed by "I thought she was in your car!" "Nooo I thought she was in his car!" "No s**te I thought she was in her car!" and they were standing up trying to see was she there.

Aunty Mary was the very elderly sister of the deceased and she wasn't in sight.

The deceased's son was in the front row and all my dad could see where his shoulders shaking, he believed he was crying then he turns around and he's pissing on himself laughing! Followed by the rest of the church erupting with laughter.

They forgot her and left her locked in the house 30 miles down the road, her son then boots it out of the church, hops into his car and skids out the gate to go get her. When they got into the house, the poor woman was in there saying the rosary after missing her brothers funeral. She managed to make the burial. She believed it to be his last prank as the deceased was a well known joker/prankster.

My dad says he never laughed so much that weekend. It's one funeral I'd have loved to have been at!

Munstermad · 29-07-2014 01:55PM

recyclops wrote: »

at my mothers funeral we needed to go round the church twice as the funeral director didnt want us getting out of the car laughing due a joke my bro told just as we were driving in the church gates

the flowers on the altar gradually went on fire and nobody decided to speak up until they start smoking and set off the fire alarms, then when tossing muck onto the grave as is tradition a lose rock was in my bros and it sounded like a knock on the coffin twice, shocked a fair few people.

all in all the fact all this happened has given me a much better memory of my mums funeral

Was also at a funeral of a lovely lady with a wicked sense of humour that her children inherited.. The flowers went up in flames also.. Wonder was it ye?

gramar · 29-07-2014 04:50PM

Suzuki_TL1000R wrote: »

Years ago with an Ex-girlfriend and her older sister lost a teenage son unexpectedly.
So we're over at hers and the local priest arrives to console her and go thru the
details of the funeral etc. Of course I jumps up to give him my chair at the head
of the dining table and asks in time honoured tradition "Tea Father???" all Mrs Doyley and off I
pops into the kitchen. Being in a strange kitchen I'm just grabbing stuff at random etc and
brings him out a big mug a tae'. Grand.

So the Ma's in bits as is the teenage sister of the departed and the priest is now giving it socks,
he's in full flow about how 'He's headed to a better place, so young yes but he'll be waiting
at the gates for you, and you said he had a great sense of humour so he can keep God laughing
until yis follow him up there etc' and all that craic being as holy and contrite and as gently spoken as
the situation rightly deserved etc.

He musta thought we were all in bits with grief, a very close family indeed etc, all covering our faces with
our hands, shoulders gently twitching and shaking away, so on he went on for ages, right up to the huge
explosion of laughter from us all!!! I mean pissing ourselves right into his face, tears the lot lol.

The mortified mother eventually said "Somebody get that cup off him and change it for godsake, I'm terribly sorry father
there's been a huge mistake etc, I'm terribly terribly sorry etc."

He was only sitting at the head of the table preaching to us, being all solemn and stuff holding out a big white mug in front
of him that had in big red capital letters the words.....

I LOVE
SEX!!!

Yes it cheered everyone up. And yes I know I'm going to hell

I thought of this post in a shop earlier. There were mugs on sale with 'I Love Boys' on them.

BofaDeezNuhtz · 30-07-2014 04:04AM

gramar wrote: »

I thought of this post in a shop earlier. There were mugs on sale with 'I Love Boys' on them.

That's not funny ya prick ya! My Da's a priest! :mad:

Funny moments at funeral's!

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