Stories about your parents

StormWarrior · 24-07-2014 11:15PM

I have no idea why, but for my entire childhood I was convinced that my mum's middle name was Lorry and my dad's middle name was Truck. In reality they had no such names.

Tail Docker · 24-07-2014 11:53PM

My old lad headed off in my uncles VW beetle, uncle driving, to collect a new window for our kitchen from down the country. He arrived back swathed in bandages and with no window. Turned out he was leaning against the door, on the way back, window on his lap, when they went around a roundabout - the door lock burst and he fell out and landed on the window, making shyte of the window and himself.

We laughed so hard I think I broke somthing. Who the fcuk falls out of a car??

Adyx · 25-07-2014 12:09AM

Tail Docker wrote: »

My old lad headed off in my uncles VW beetle, uncle driving, to collect a new window for our kitchen from down the country. He arrived back swathed in bandages and with no window. Turned out he was leaning against the door, on the way back, window on his lap, when they went around a roundabout - the door lock burst and he fell out and landed on the window, making shyte of the window and himself.

We laughed so hard I think I broke somthing. Who the fcuk falls out of a car??

O/

Well not so much fell out as rolled out on a folded up buggy. Think of the way the car in Knightrider reversed out of the truck and that's pretty much what happened. It was an estate car. My sister did actually fall out another time though. Luckily it was onto the footpath and she did the old tuck and roll. A family of stuntmen my parents raised...

wp_rathead · 25-07-2014 12:14AM

My Dad trying to tell me that Peaches Gelfdoff had died, couldn't think of her name and came out with this gem:
"That one, erm, Lemon Juice or something"

Novella · 25-07-2014 12:37AM

My dad has Alzheimer's so he gets easily confused. A few months ago, a DPD delivery man called to the house with something I'd bought online. I had just gotten out of the shower and I could hear my dad at the front door, "What is it? Do you have any pizza for me? Chicken balls? No? Any chips even? You must have chips in your van!".

The only thing he could ever remember being delivered to the house was food and he was a little upset that this guy only had shoes for me.

Hotfail.com · 25-07-2014 12:52AM

Do grandparents count?

My grandmother went around Merchant's Quay in Cork once singing a song she learned in school called something like "My Lovely N*gger doll" in a not-even-remotely quiet voice

--LOS-- · 25-07-2014 01:47AM

My parents invited themselves over, i heard from my sister after they booked their flight. I live in a studio apartment, they are sleeping a couple feet away, my dad snoring and talking in his sleep. Considering theyre too cheap to make one phone call to me all year, I swear if I make it through the next 6 days, if its years by the time I see them next it'll be too soon

Sulla Felix · 25-07-2014 03:14AM

It came out last summer after we got the mother a bit tipsy, that pretty much for our entire teenage years, she thought my older brother was on heroin. Why? Because she used to find bits of tinfoil with burnt stuff on it. She'd never heard of a bucket bong etc, knew what joints were alright and used to go mad when she found them, but those little bits of tinfoil... :pac:

missierex · 25-07-2014 09:53AM

A couple of years ago I pottered upstairs to find my mam changing the curtains in the bathroom (they had tabbed tops which you slide down over the pole). She had the curtain pole between her knees and was furiously struggling to pull the curtains over it when she turned to me and said with a wry smile 'Oh, it's like putting on a French Letter'!

I died a little inside that day

Sadderday · 25-07-2014 10:01AM

My granda's name is Peter.

Peter got into the shower with his hearing aid so didnt like wearing because it would 'buzz'

His neighbour in this old folks complex was out watering her plants when she saw him.

'It's a lovely day, isn't it Fred' she said to him, obviously getting his name really wrong,

He went straight into my granny and said ........ 'yer woman, out there - wants me to get into her bed!!'

My granny said ..... 'Don't ask me, get yer own fec'kin bread'

Old people are gold.

ohohseven · 25-07-2014 10:09AM

My father lives in London , one weekend me, my partner and our little one went to see him Anyway when we got there the first thing I did was use his bathroom. He had ten tubes of toothpaste, he then procceded to tell us that he had an argument in costcutter with the owner about being over charged so he decided to make up the difference he would just take all the toothpaste they had in display. I have a lot of stories about my father but none of my mother as she died when I was young.

Stories about your parents

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