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Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

AH I need your help!

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Comments

  • #2
    holystungun9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭holystungun9


    Hammer?


  • #3
    SweetChaos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 306 ✭✭SweetChaos


    Use your teeth


  • #4
    NegativeCreep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    Dig it with the screw end of a cork screw or screwdriver and pour it into a glass.


  • #5
    wazky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,516 ✭✭✭wazky


    Smash the bottle off your noggin, better than watching come dine with me anyway.


  • #6
    Fr_Dougal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,167 ✭✭✭Fr_Dougal


    Drill.


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  • #7
    D Trent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,340 ✭✭✭D Trent


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Its a saturday night. I'm a non drinker. I'm sitting in watching come dine with me with a take away. I have this

    https://31.media.tumblr.com/6a7f409f83cbea68e01e0cb17b56acea/tumblr_n8z7efCsOQ1tgnob8o1_500.jpg


    delicious bottle of j20 I would like to enjoy. However, I cannot get the screw cap off. How on earth do I extract the goodness inside?

    Move that fukcin bottle what' say about Capt America on marvel mag?


  • #8
    HeidiHeidi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 33,635 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    A good solid (preferably non-antique) table top, and a fist.


  • #9
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    I have neither cork screw nor screw driver.


  • #10
    SweetChaos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 306 ✭✭SweetChaos


    Use the side of your coffee table and whack it down


  • #11
    myshirt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    Burn down the house


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  • #12
    comongethappy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,756 ✭✭✭comongethappy


    Knock the cap askew off the edge of your coffee table.

    That or clamp it in your arm pit & twist.


  • #13
    KeithM89
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,557 ✭✭✭KeithM89


    Don't bother, it's sh1te.


  • #14
    HeidiHeidi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 33,635 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    Wasn't there something doing the rounds lately on facebook about a trick for opening bottles with a shoe? Or was that corked bottles?

    I wasn't bothered watching it, wish I had now!


  • #15
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    comongethappy wrote: »
    Knock the cap askew off the edge of your coffee table.

    That or clamp it in your arm pit & twist.

    That armpit thing sounds awful painful.


  • #16
    Filmer Paradise
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,345 ✭✭✭Filmer Paradise


    Put a tea-towel over it & then twist as hard as you can.


  • #17
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Place edge of cap on edge of table/hard surface. Hold bottle with one hand, hit bottle cap down with palm of hand :)


  • #18
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    A ring on your finger can be used as a bottle opener quite easily.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSQWi8nVYAA


    Alternatively, the square hole on your seatbelt buckle (assuming you have a car) works perfectly also.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDovdaQItdA


    Yep. I know too much about beer drinking.


  • #19
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    Grip around the neck, put fag lighter between top finger n bottle cap and lever. Best skill I ever learnt in the army


  • #20
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Banjo String wrote: »
    A ring on your finger can be used as a bottle opener quite easily.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSQWi8nVYAA


    Alternatively, the square hole on your seatbelt buckle (assuming you have a car) works perfectly also.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzXDf-I4hMs


    Yep. I know too much about beer drinking.

    I might try that now :) how does the lighter thing work?


  • #21
    comongethappy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,756 ✭✭✭comongethappy


    If you have a can opener the handle has a bottle opener.... Unless you have one of the less good modern ones.


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  • #22
    Aidric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,598 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    Lighter at a 45 degree angle under the cap and apply pressure


  • #23
    Danonino.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,113 ✭✭✭Danonino.


    Find something rubber, em.. Maybe the inside seal on a jar, a rubber glove folded over or something. This will give you a solid grip on the cap and save your hand. Try a quick shock twist and if this fails then go for slow pressure, I'd be surprised if it didnt pop off first try.

    Or follow what the guys said above and find a solid edge and hit it a whack with your hand downwards holding the edge on the lip. Lighter trick is an essential skil too, no better time to learn. Also turn off come dine with me, Rambo first blood starts at 10 on 3e.


  • #24
    holystungun9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭holystungun9


    holystungun9 wrote: »
    Hammer?
    TheZohan wrote: »
    Drill.

    Homer hammer and drill.jpeg


  • #25
    comongethappy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,756 ✭✭✭comongethappy


    Arrange a small pile of zip fire lighters around the bottle & light them with a match.

    Its important you hold the match at a 45 degree angle.


  • #26
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Sure I've got the cap to twist round it, but it aint coming off.


  • #27
    padd b1975
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,911 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    To
    cloud493 wrote: »
    Sure I've got the cap to twist round it, but it aint coming off.

    Sounds like one of those child proof caps you get on cough medicine bottles.

    Try squeezing the cap on opposite sides and twist.


  • #28
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Op, are you snacking on pot pourri with that J20?


  • #29
    Hotfail.com
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,928 ✭✭✭Hotfail.com


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Sure I've got the cap to twist round it, but it aint coming off.

    Use the tin opener if you have one like someone else suggested :)


  • #30
    mackeire
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,281 ✭✭✭mackeire


    If ya place it gently between your bum cheeks, then grip tightly so no air can get in (or out ;) ) then pull the bottle out as hard as you can and the cap should come off.


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  • #31
    comongethappy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,756 ✭✭✭comongethappy


    mackeire wrote: »
    If ya place it gently between your bum cheeks, then grip tightly so no air can get in (or out ;) ) then pull the bottle out as hard as you can and the cap should come off.

    No.... If you place the bottle bottom first within the depths of ones ass, only then do you get that air tight seal.

    The bottle being upside down gives it some sort of gravity boost or something.


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