AH I need your help!

cloud493

Its a saturday night. I'm a non drinker. I'm sitting in watching come dine with me with a take away. I have this

https://31.media.tumblr.com/6a7f409f83cbea68e01e0cb17b56acea/tumblr_n8z7efCsOQ1tgnob8o1_500.jpg


delicious bottle of j20 I would like to enjoy. However, I cannot get the screw cap off. How on earth do I extract the goodness inside?

holystungun9

Hammer?

SweetChaos

Use your teeth

NegativeCreep

Dig it with the screw end of a cork screw or screwdriver and pour it into a glass.

wazky

Smash the bottle off your noggin, better than watching come dine with me anyway.

Fr_Dougal

Drill.

D Trent

cloud493 wrote: »

Its a saturday night. I'm a non drinker. I'm sitting in watching come dine with me with a take away. I have this

https://31.media.tumblr.com/6a7f409f83cbea68e01e0cb17b56acea/tumblr_n8z7efCsOQ1tgnob8o1_500.jpg


delicious bottle of j20 I would like to enjoy. However, I cannot get the screw cap off. How on earth do I extract the goodness inside?

Move that fukcin bottle what' say about Capt America on marvel mag?

HeidiHeidi

A good solid (preferably non-antique) table top, and a fist.

cloud493

I have neither cork screw nor screw driver.

SweetChaos

Use the side of your coffee table and whack it down

myshirt

Burn down the house

comongethappy

Knock the cap askew off the edge of your coffee table.

That or clamp it in your arm pit & twist.

KeithM89

Don't bother, it's sh1te.

HeidiHeidi

Wasn't there something doing the rounds lately on facebook about a trick for opening bottles with a shoe? Or was that corked bottles?

I wasn't bothered watching it, wish I had now!

cloud493

comongethappy wrote: »

Knock the cap askew off the edge of your coffee table.

That or clamp it in your arm pit & twist.

That armpit thing sounds awful painful.

Filmer Paradise

Put a tea-towel over it & then twist as hard as you can.

KERSPLAT!

Place edge of cap on edge of table/hard surface. Hold bottle with one hand, hit bottle cap down with palm of hand

Banjo String

A ring on your finger can be used as a bottle opener quite easily.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSQWi8nVYAA

Alternatively, the square hole on your seatbelt buckle (assuming you have a car) works perfectly also.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDovdaQItdA

Yep. I know too much about beer drinking.

Owryan

Grip around the neck, put fag lighter between top finger n bottle cap and lever. Best skill I ever learnt in the army

cloud493

Banjo String wrote: »

A ring on your finger can be used as a bottle opener quite easily.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSQWi8nVYAA

Alternatively, the square hole on your seatbelt buckle (assuming you have a car) works perfectly also.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzXDf-I4hMs

Yep. I know too much about beer drinking.

I might try that now how does the lighter thing work?

comongethappy

If you have a can opener the handle has a bottle opener.... Unless you have one of the less good modern ones.

Aidric

Lighter at a 45 degree angle under the cap and apply pressure

Danonino.

Find something rubber, em.. Maybe the inside seal on a jar, a rubber glove folded over or something. This will give you a solid grip on the cap and save your hand. Try a quick shock twist and if this fails then go for slow pressure, I'd be surprised if it didnt pop off first try.

Or follow what the guys said above and find a solid edge and hit it a whack with your hand downwards holding the edge on the lip. Lighter trick is an essential skil too, no better time to learn. Also turn off come dine with me, Rambo first blood starts at 10 on 3e.

holystungun9

holystungun9 wrote: »

Hammer?

TheZohan wrote: »

Drill.

Homer hammer and drill.jpeg

comongethappy

Arrange a small pile of zip fire lighters around the bottle & light them with a match.

Its important you hold the match at a 45 degree angle.

cloud493

Sure I've got the cap to twist round it, but it aint coming off.

padd b1975

To

cloud493 wrote: »

Sure I've got the cap to twist round it, but it aint coming off.

Sounds like one of those child proof caps you get on cough medicine bottles.

Try squeezing the cap on opposite sides and twist.

Smidge

Op, are you snacking on pot pourri with that J20?

Hotfail.com

cloud493 wrote: »

Sure I've got the cap to twist round it, but it aint coming off.

Use the tin opener if you have one like someone else suggested

mackeire

If ya place it gently between your bum cheeks, then grip tightly so no air can get in (or out ) then pull the bottle out as hard as you can and the cap should come off.

comongethappy

mackeire wrote: »

If ya place it gently between your bum cheeks, then grip tightly so no air can get in (or out ) then pull the bottle out as hard as you can and the cap should come off.

No.... If you place the bottle bottom first within the depths of ones ass, only then do you get that air tight seal.

The bottle being upside down gives it some sort of gravity boost or something.

cloud493

https://31.media.tumblr.com/b0f9c068ce724b49621632f982e8dc94/tumblr_n8z8jkA8Rf1tgnob8o1_500.jpg

That lighter aint working.

Sleepy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9KJtKXCHx8

video is for a lighter but any hard, flat object will work (knife, spoon handle etc.)

KERSPLAT!

cloud493 wrote: »

https://31.media.tumblr.com/b0f9c068ce724b49621632f982e8dc94/tumblr_n8z8jkA8Rf1tgnob8o1_500.jpg

That lighter aint working.

You didn't do it right or there'd be bits gone of the bottom of the lighter

cloud493

I got it ended up sliding a knife under the top and prising it off.

SweetChaos

cloud493 wrote: »

I got it ended up sliding a knife under the top and prising it off.

Great! you had us worried there for a while that you were in danger of being dehydrated

cloud493

I had tea as a backup just in case.

dmc17

cloud493 wrote: »

I had tea as a backup just in case.

Just when I though this night couldn't get any more exciting

Hotfail.com

cloud493 wrote: »

I had tea as a backup just in case.

You picked J2O over tea??!? :eek: :mad:

cloud493

I have thousands of teabags in my cupboards sure. I don't have j20 often.

fineso.mom

Aww, you got it open, I was going to offer to come over with various tools and help you open it,,,in return for half the bottle of course.

thelad95

J2O drinks are sugary crap. To answer your question, use your teeth or a knife.

cloud493

Sure my teeth are falling out anyway.