All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

Ramette · 14-07-2014 9:44pm

looksee you need new glasses and Rube you naughty boy, of course I have experience running up hills nekkid, sure I do it every morning before breakfast to get the blood flowing, you should try it

looksee · 15-07-2014 8:15am

Ramette wrote: »

looksee you need new glasses and Rube you naughty boy, of course I have experience running up hills nekkid, sure I do it every morning before breakfast to get the blood flowing, you should try it

Well, there's plenty of hills around here but they kinda go through the middle of the town, I think I might do even more damage to the local tourist industry :eek:

Edit: hang on, it was Chucken's nekkid hill running that was in dispute! :-)

roran · 15-07-2014 4:52pm

OldGoat wrote: »

Just about to head off for a week of faffing about on a surfboard.

...and quoting my all-time favourite comedians (Monty Python) "You lucky b*st*%d..."

:D:D Enjoy your break!

Rubecula · 15-07-2014 7:31pm

Ramette wrote: »

looksee you need new glasses and Rube you naughty boy, of course I have experience running up hills nekkid, sure I do it every morning before breakfast to get the blood flowing, you should try it

Do you mind if I slither and stumble and leave the running fer the young wans? Besides moving too fast while nekkid can cause locals to go blind. :cool:

BBDBB · 15-07-2014 8:35pm

its not the running too fast that's the problem

its the sudden stopping that can cause you a mischief :eek:

Rubecula · 15-07-2014 9:33pm

I can stop safely in a hurry, but my body keeps moving for hours

Jellybaby1 · 16-07-2014 12:02am

You have all gone doo-lally. What will people think?

Rubecula · 16-07-2014 4:04pm

that we have all gone doo-lally?

*Leaps up and down and blowing raspberries at passing young wans

looksee · 16-07-2014 4:55pm

Tis well for ye that ye can leap up and down. *Sits down puffing*.

BrensBenz · 16-07-2014 5:50pm

Rubecula wrote: »

Twas young Chucken who introduced me to this band of Scottish folk players and I dug this out ready to welcome her and Mr Chuck home from their sojourn in foreign climes.

PS sorry to post a music video here in the peace and tranquility of O&O, but where else will she see it?

PPS also sorry for the sound quality on this one.

Sorry lads and lassies but....really? "Me ears is in bits after dah."

Quote from an earlier opus on bagpipes from BrensBenz:

Bagpipes? This thread is supposed to be about "trivial things" that annoy you. Bagpipes cannot be accused of being a trivial annoyance. Bagpipes provide intense annoyance to every living creature and plant on this planet except, of course for those sickoes blowing into them who have managed to supersize that gland in their heads which attenuates certain noises.

Pythagorus went to the trouble of developing the musical "octave". A nice bit of work there, fair dues. Pity you had to ruin my childhood with your infernal triangles.

Then the Egyptians invented and immediately rejected the bagpipes because it couldn't quite make that top note. In a remarkable bit of marketting, they managed to sell it to the Celts who quickly banished it to remote, West European islands. The Irish, reluctant to dump this heirloom, improved it by giving it its top note and extra drones. Unfortunately, their work was better suited to radio because, seeing the "elbow pipes" being played gave rise to severe mockery from a series of foreign invaders.

Remarkably, the failed Egyptian prototype still survives, in Scotland, parts of Ireland and East US cities, where, at the drop of a hat, players, usually wearing orange skirts, still proudly demonstrate the bagpipes' ancient inability to play a full octave.

Since the guvverment is inventing ever more stupid offences, isn't it time for bagpipe playing to be added to the list of nuisance crimes? No? What about a bagpipes tax? No? A register of known bagpipe players?

Perhaps my grasp of historical data is slightly tenuous but not as inaccurate as bagpipe players describing their output as "music".

looksee · 16-07-2014 5:59pm

BrensBenz wrote: »

Sorry lads and lassies but....really? "Me ears is in bits after dah."

Quote from an earlier opus on bagpipes from BrensBenz:

Bagpipes? This thread is supposed to be about "trivial things" that annoy you. Bagpipes cannot be accused of being a trivial annoyance. Bagpipes provide intense annoyance to every living creature and plant on this planet except, of course for those sickoes blowing into them who have managed to supersize that gland in their heads which attenuates certain noises.

Pythagorus went to the trouble of developing the musical "octave". A nice bit of work there, fair dues. Pity you had to ruin my childhood with your infernal triangles.

Then the Egyptians invented and immediately rejected the bagpipes because it couldn't quite make that top note. In a remarkable bit of marketting, they managed to sell it to the Celts who quickly banished it to remote, West European islands. The Irish, reluctant to dump this heirloom, improved it by giving it its top note and extra drones. Unfortunately, their work was better suited to radio because, seeing the "elbow pipes" being played gave rise to severe mockery from a series of foreign invaders.

Remarkably, the failed Egyptian prototype still survives, in Scotland, parts of Ireland and East US cities, where, at the drop of a hat, players, usually wearing orange skirts, still proudly demonstrate the bagpipes' ancient inability to play a full octave.

Since the guvverment is inventing ever more stupid offences, isn't it time for bagpipe playing to be added to the list of nuisance crimes? No? What about a bagpipes tax? No? A register of known bagpipe players?

Perhaps my grasp of historical data is slightly tenuous but not as inaccurate as bagpipe players describing their output as "music".

But not nearly as tenuous as your grasp of which forum you are in Benz!

Jellybaby1 · 16-07-2014 7:03pm

Obviously all that noise has made Brens dizzy!

BrensBenz · 16-07-2014 7:48pm

[/QUOTE]

looksee wrote: »

But not nearly as tenuous as your grasp of which forum you are in Benz!

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Obviously all that noise has made Brens dizzy!

There's...bag...pipes...in...that...vid...e...o...Must...be...ex...ter...min...ated
Ex..ter..min...ate...ffffzzzztttt...ex...ter...min...ate

roran · 17-07-2014 8:16am

BrensBenz wrote: »

There's...bag...pipes...in...that...vid...e...o...Must...be...ex...ter...min...ated
Ex..ter..min...ate...ffffzzzztttt...ex...ter...min...ate[/QUOTE]

Oh Oh! I've seen this before...low battery..."Mrs BrensBenz!...Mrs BRENSBENZ, can you plug in the charger please...." :P:P:P

BrensBenz · 17-07-2014 2:35pm

roran wrote: »

Oh Oh! I've seen this before...low battery..."Mrs BrensBenz!...Mrs BRENSBENZ, can you plug in the charger please...." :P:P:P

These bolts here...just below my ears...crocodile clips...red one to the....left??? or maybe???...whateverrrr! ZZZZZZTTT.

Hmmm. Folks, BrensBenz is emmm broken, melted, sort of. Eeeeuuuuuwww!

No, hold on...there's a tiny twitch in his face...What's that? You want your keyboard? You want to get something off your chest? You found some more total b@$t@rd$ today? Oh....OK....tell us about it why don'cha.

BrensBenz · 17-07-2014 3:12pm

BrensBenz wrote: »

These bolts here...just below my ears...crocodile clips...red one to the....left??? or maybe???...whateverrrr! ZZZZZZTTT.

Hmmm. Folks, BrensBenz is emmm broken, melted, sort of. Eeeeuuuuuwww!

No, hold on...there's a tiny twitch in his face...What's that? You want your keyboard? You want to get something off your chest? You found some more total b@$t@rd$ today? Oh....OK....tell us about it why don'cha.

So, since my laptop is running XP and will explode into millions of pieces of lethal shrapnel at any moment, I asked the nice man in the cumpewher shop today about a new laptop. "Hmmm", I said during his recitation on a "Theme of Acer and Sony", trying to sound interested, while frantically dredging my brain for any technospeak ammo I could remember:

"What about "MS Office?" Is it installed?"
"No, you buy this Office 365 (€99.99) and install it yourself."
"Hmmm", I thought. "Golden opportunity for error right there". But before I could impart this wisdom to the salesperson, he announced that:

"It only works for a year??? You get this special card with this magic number and, if you haven't lost it, you renew it online and...if this...and if that...it runs for another year after you've paid another €99.99.

So, I can't BUY Office 365, I can only rent it? For €100 year? And renewing the rental is a sequence of error-prone processes, specifically designed to fail and force me to buy ANOTHER Office 365 package? Right?

Well, his poor little face didn't know where to look. "They never told me about this in the training sessions! Better call Anto, the supervisor."

Same thing in the next cumpewher shop.

How would yiz feel if a year's work on, say, Word, Excel and PowerPoint suddenly wasn't available because MS's ransom payment method didn't work? I would be less than impressed.

I have Office 2010. I OWN it. It works. It's on MY laptop. My laptop is staying put. I may not be able to beat Bill Gates single-handed so feel free to lend a hand.

Rubecula · 17-07-2014 4:01pm

my main comp is XP and while it works I see no need to change it. The only reason for upgrades is to make money for Microsoft, Ther really couldn't give a tinker's codpiece for the plight of the working classes. Not like the olden days when we would get up half an hour before we went to bed, have half a handful of cold gravel for breakfast ..... if we were lucky *mumble mumble* Spam *mumble mumble* Bloody Vikings * mumble mumble* Nobody expects *mumble mumble*

looksee · 17-07-2014 5:38pm

I never knew tinkers wore codpieces?

roran · 17-07-2014 7:25pm

looksee wrote: »

I never knew tinkers wore codpieces?

Maybe they (s)wore codpieces?

Rubecula · 17-07-2014 9:03pm

On the plus side may I be the first to say WELCOME HOME to Chucken and her Mr Chuck.

Good to have you back my little Soup Dragon (when you see this)

Chucken · 17-07-2014 9:11pm

Thanks Rubes

Great to be back.

*I'm lying

:pac:

0lddog · 17-07-2014 9:24pm

looksee wrote: »

I never knew tinkers wore codpieces?

Yes, but did you ask ?

I'm an X XPer cause the ol thing discovered how to turn itself off when thing got to hot for it.

Now have a Win 7 from 'refreshed by us' ( I fancy a bit of a refresh too ) came loaded with open office.

Jellybaby1 · 17-07-2014 9:34pm

An annual hundred smackers into Microsoft's back pocket! Do they think we is eejits, or whah?

Ramette · 17-07-2014 10:38pm

Batten down the hatches there is an unstable weather front approaching from the bay of biscay...... Apparently we will be flooded overnight if the forecast is correct.... And I don't think even Chucken's soup will save us!

Chucken · 17-07-2014 10:48pm

Thats it.

I'm goin to the airport.

:mad: Bloody weather.

On a side, I met my match for soup in Corfu. I wasn't feeling too well one evening (not beer induced btw) and the lady of the house made me what I can only call magic soup.We couldn't figure out what was in it but by gum it worked a treat.

Jellybaby1 · 17-07-2014 11:52pm

And you didn't get the recipe! Shame Chuckie, you're losing your grip! If you had got the recipe I wonder what delights we would have been subjec......erm.....happy to indulge in!

Welcome home all the tanned Chucks!

Layinghen · 18-07-2014 6:50am

Welcome home Chucken.

bonzodog2 · 18-07-2014 7:05am

looksee wrote: »

I never knew tinkers wore codpieces?

Sure they were all the rage back in the day. Couldn't leave home without one. :rolleyes::D

BrensBenz · 18-07-2014 8:34pm

Ramette wrote: »

Batten down the hatches there is an unstable weather front approaching from the bay of biscay...... Apparently we will be flooded overnight if the forecast is correct.... And I don't think even Chucken's soup will save us!

God was moving furniture this morning in NCD, then He pulled his bathplug and soaked us.

But, you know, the universe is in perfect balance: Ups are always matched by downs and vice versa. Take today, for example:
BrensBenz Manor was battered by tunder'n lightnin'.
The woof wouldn't go out - sat with his legs crossed for a couple of hours.
Next, it's chemo day again, so off we go to the hostible.
Several hours later, the (really) nice doctor told me I failed the blood test and sent me home, chemoless.
Then, I needed change for the carpark but the hostible cafeteria was packed and the queue stretched down the hall.

So, what could possibly balance that lot out, I hear you ask. Well, Chucken is back, safe and sound of course but, still needing change, I stopped at the little bakery at the hostible foyer and what did I find on display? Go on, guess. Yizzle never get it......gurrcake!!! Yes, actual gurrcake. "Is that....gurrcake? I asked the nice lady. "Oh yes, just like your Grannie used to have. Would you like a piece?" "How many have you got?"

Well, the scales tipped - "this is a good day after all, a memorable day. Gurrcake is still available," and, for a modest fee, I'll tell yiz where the hostible is.

Jellybaby1 · 18-07-2014 11:44pm

Gurcake never went away Brens, it can now be seen at some of those posh food markets, and the RDS food fair. They think Gurrrrrcake is an awful common name, so they do, and hence they now call it Chester Cake! CHESTER Cake? Damn their eyes! To horse men, weapons at the ready.....charrrrrrrrrge!!! Te de den, te de den, te de den, te de de, etceterah, etceterah, etceterah!

BrensBenz · 19-07-2014 8:28am

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Gurcake never went away Brens, it can now be seen at some of those posh food markets, and the RDS food fair. They think Gurrrrrcake is an awful common name, so they do, and hence they now call it Chester Cake! CHESTER Cake? Damn their eyes! To horse men, weapons at the ready.....charrrrrrrrrge!!! Te de den, te de den, te de den, te de de, etceterah, etceterah, etceterah!

Janey Mac, you're a font of vital knowledge!

Well, I'm an awful common gurrier but when I asked for gurrcake in Sweden, Italy, Austria, Texas, Germany, Britain, Switzerland, Canada, Iceland, Australia and Malaysia and all I got was blank (perhaps slightly appalled) stares. Maybe if I had asked for "Chester" cake?

Anyway........Chester cake???? What has Chester got to do with good oul Dublin gurrcake??? As they say on other forums: ffs!

Have to say, though, it wasn't "exactly" as Grannie used to have. Drier and a little too much care taken in the shortcake / pastry stuff. Grannie's gurrcake was almost a slice of Christmas pud, an inch thick between two thin slices of fruity and soggy shortbread.

But the newer version must be a health food - five a day - because they sell it in hostibles. And with a dollup of whipped dairy product, who needs chemo?

BrensBenz · 19-07-2014 8:50am

Rubecula wrote: »

my main comp is XP and while it works I see no need to change it. The only reason for upgrades is to make money for Microsoft, Ther really couldn't give a tinker's codpiece for the plight of the working classes. Not like the olden days when we would get up half an hour before we went to bed, have half a handful of cold gravel for breakfast ..... if we were lucky *mumble mumble* Spam *mumble mumble* Bloody Vikings * mumble mumble* Nobody expects *mumble mumble*

looksee wrote: »

I never knew tinkers wore codpieces?

roran wrote: »

Maybe they (s)wore codpieces?

Let me put on my lumberjack shirt and hat with floppy ears.....

Yizz've probably guessed that I had a very sheltered childhood, but I did live in a fishing village so, what's a codpiece? Mrs. BrensBenz says it's something like chicken fillets but that didn't help much. For some reason, she did give me that special, "canoodling required now" look but I'm none the wiser. Is it one of these uniquely female things - "if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you"?

Confused like much....todally!

bonzodog2 · 19-07-2014 8:59am

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece

A codpiece (from Middle English: cod, meaning "scrotum") is a covering flap or pouch that attaches to the front of the crotch of men's trousers and usually accentuates the genital area. It was held closed by string ties, buttons, or other methods. It was an important item of European clothing in the 15th and 16th centuries, and is still worn in the modern era in performance costumes for rock music and metal musicians and in the leather subculture while an Athletic cup protects in a similar fashion.

BrensBenz · 19-07-2014 9:45am

bonzodog2 wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece

Well....I.....hummmfff....never have I....I'm flabb....hummmfff....such...ohh...that's just.....WHAT???

Where on Earth would Mrs. BrensBenz learn THAT???

So, I suppose that "chicken fillets" are not what I thought either? No, pleeeeese don't tell me - I'm coming over all.....faint (back of hand to forehead, eyelashes fluttering, other hand withdrawn from smoking jacket pocket and now grasping chaise longue). "Hermione, the drapes.....Maude, the smelling salts....."

PS: bonzodog2, loved the doodah band. Any chance of a reunion? I believe there are nights available at Croke Park next month.

Jellybaby1 · 19-07-2014 1:33pm

Brens, you must have seen Lord Blackadder's memorable codpiece in the first series. I wanted to post a photo but I couldn't for laughing. How medieval wimmin kept a straight face, I'll never know!

Rubecula · 19-07-2014 3:41pm

A codpiece http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VkCdV2VSIcg/TYw85RJM9SI/AAAAAAAAAfo/qnxqPmONe-I/s1600/arrmour-codpiece.jpg

And a better view of a codpiece http://sfdatwestmain.com/images/cod.jpg

looksee · 19-07-2014 4:53pm

I think you are codding us Rube!

Jellybaby1 · 19-07-2014 5:25pm

They taste better with batter!

bonzodog2 · 19-07-2014 9:01pm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4282290.stm

BirdsEye fish fingers were nearly called Battered Cod Pieces

looksee · 20-07-2014 9:03am

Mmmm fish finger butties, up there with chip butties!

BrensBenz · 20-07-2014 9:03am

Rubecula wrote: »

A codpiece http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VkCdV2VSIcg/TYw85RJM9SI/AAAAAAAAAfo/qnxqPmONe-I/s1600/arrmour-codpiece.jpg

Rubecula's attachment above looks to me more like somewhere to hang your jacket while admonishing a baddie.
Any more silly fashions? Here's something that....caught my eye!

Jellybaby1 · 20-07-2014 12:30pm

You have discovered the rare and dangerous Japanese Hobbit!

OldGoat · 21-07-2014 8:38am

Morning all.
Found this, thought it suited us in here. :cool:

Jellybaby1 · 21-07-2014 1:08pm

Thanks for that OG. Inside, I'm dancing too!

Rubecula · 21-07-2014 9:32pm

Brilliant OG

Chucken · 22-07-2014 9:49pm

I've to go back to work in the morning.
5 weeks off. How will I cope

Rubecula · 22-07-2014 9:52pm

Chucken wrote: »

I've to go back to work in the morning.
5 weeks off. How will I cope

Keep Calm
and
Make Soup

Layinghen · 22-07-2014 10:00pm

Chucken wrote: »

I've to go back to work in the morning.
5 weeks off. How will I cope

Think about how you can gather the cash for another Greek odyssey:D:D:D

Chucken · 22-07-2014 10:01pm

It's been so long, I'm not sure I remember how :pac:

I'll just feed 'em all banana splits or something.

Chucken · 22-07-2014 10:04pm

Layinghen wrote: »

Think about how you can gather the cash for another Greek odyssey:D:D:D

I've only about 10 more weeks work. Should be enough for next years trip

Oh, the family got meself and himself a week in Krakow for my birthday.
I'm not half spoilt :pac:

All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

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