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Bridesmaid - who pays for what?

  • 16-07-2014 01:44PM
    #1
    magicmushroom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 824 ✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    I just wanted to get an idea from others of what is reasonable to expect when it comes to bridesmaids.

    Out of the following, would you expect the bridesmaids to pay for any or would you think the cost should be covered by the bride and groom?

    Hair
    Make-Up
    Dress
    Shoes


«13456

Comments

  • #2
    Pistachios & cream
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 763 ✭✭✭Pistachios & cream


    I am paying for Hair, MAke up and the dress.

    My sisters are my bridesmaids and i know they have shoes which will go with the dresses so i don't need to pay for them.

    A good rule of thumb is, If you want something specific, hair, makeup, dress and shoes then you should pay for it.


  • #3
    Addle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,809 ✭✭✭Addle


    Bride pays, or should at least offer to pay for, everything she chooses.


  • #4
    magicmushroom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 824 ✭✭✭magicmushroom


    ahayes84 wrote: »
    I am paying for Hair, MAke up and the dress.

    My sisters are my bridesmaids and i know they have shoes which will go with the dresses so i don't need to pay for them.

    A good rule of thumb is, If you want something specific, hair, makeup, dress and shoes then you should pay for it.

    If the bridesmaids didn't have shoes that go with the dresses and thereford needed to buy new, would you expect them to pay or would you happily cover the cost?


  • #5
    maryfred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 241 ✭✭maryfred


    magicmushroom wrote: »
    Hi all,

    I just wanted to get an idea from others of what is reasonable to expect when it comes to bridesmaids.

    Out of the following, would you expect the bridesmaids to pay for any or would you think the cost should be covered by the bride and groom?

    Hair
    Make-Up
    Dress
    Shoes

    I think if you ask someone to be your bridesmaid,then all of the above should be paid by you.Other things like nails,tan etc,if they want they pay,unless they wouldn't normally get these things done but you want them.


  • #6
    on_my_oe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 991 ✭✭✭on_my_oe


    It depends - do you want to specify the style/ colour or are you happy with generic 'silver strappy sandles' or 'black peep toes'? If you want the bridesmaids to buy a specific shoe or colour, then you pay, but if you are happy for your bridesmaids to chose a broadly generic shoe ( leaving the window open to a €10 Penneys special), then you might have a case for the bridesmaid paying part/ all of the shoes.


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  • #7
    curlzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    I have 4 and I'm buying their dress, hair, make up and hotel room. They are paying for shoes and accessories.


  • #8
    clint_silver
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,915 ✭✭✭clint_silver


    magicmushroom wrote: »
    If the bridesmaids didn't have shoes that go with the dresses and thereford needed to buy new, would you expect them to pay or would you happily cover the cost?

    If they needed to buy something to go with what bride picked, ie dress, cost should be on bride. If bride wanted to cut costs, let them wear whatever they want so there's no obligation.


  • #9
    Pistachios & cream
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 763 ✭✭✭Pistachios & cream


    magicmushroom wrote: »
    If the bridesmaids didn't have shoes that go with the dresses and thereford needed to buy new, would you expect them to pay or would you happily cover the cost?


    I would pay for them. Like i said if i want a specific item then i believe i have to pay for it.


  • #10
    magicmushroom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 824 ✭✭✭magicmushroom


    Thanks girls.

    I am the bridesmaid in this case and I've been asked to pay for my own shoes.
    If I had some that went with the dress then fine, but I don't and they will need to be some kind of strappy silver sandal which I wouldn't normally buy so I don't feel I should pay.

    We were also asked to pay for makeup but I put my foot down on that one and said No - I am travelling to the UK for the wedding and will be paying for 3 nights in a hotel so I think it's fair to expect no further expense for being a bridesmaid!

    Thanks for your comments


  • #11
    Addle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,809 ✭✭✭Addle


    They might do things differently in England...


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  • #12
    pooch90
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,470 ✭✭✭pooch90


    I am paying for BMs hair, make up, dress + alterations, shoes, tan because it was my suggestion and I have bought them a necklace and will be buying earrings as part of their gifts.
    Not paying for nails or rooms


  • #13
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,661 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    I had a thread and poll about it recently (http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057229283) and Irish couples are very, very generous when it comes to looking after bridal parties. In America, bridesmaids pay for everything themselves. I'm not sure how it is in the UK, but I paid for my own shoes as a bridesmaid in the past.


  • #14
    Merkin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    Paid for dress, hair, shoes, make up and hotel accommodation. I think if you ask someone to do you the honour of being your bridesmaid they shouldn't have to incur any costs whatsoever.


  • #15
    magicmushroom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 824 ✭✭✭magicmushroom


    I think it must be different over there as when I suggested makeup should be paid for I was made to feel like I was asking for a lot!
    And when it surfaced today that we are expected to buy shoes I was given with a very frosty reception when I questioned it.

    When I was married I paid for dresses, alterations, hair, makeup, shoes and also bought jewellery for them so I guess I expected the same back.
    Ah well!


  • #16
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,949 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    The bride should pay for anything that's going to cost the bridesmaid to have.
    But seriously...I don't understand the paying for them to get made up.
    Unless they have a history of looking like they've been shot in the face with Homer Simpson's make-up gun.

    Homer-Simpson-Shoots-Marge-With-a-Make-Up-Gun.gif


  • #17
    daithi84
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 197 ✭✭daithi84


    The bride and groom should pay for everything associated with the cost of being in the bridal party. Im a grooms man at my sister wedding this year and she wanted me to fork out to get my own shoes, i told her where to go as im am already forking out around €150 for a present for them and have to pay €200 for a room in the hotel, which i think they should be paying for. Im not paying anything else!! Sure its mostly my parents money paying for her wedding so she get her purse out and pay for my shoes!!


  • #18
    Milly33
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,663 ✭✭✭Milly33


    Go on Daithi stand your ground..Surprised too with the hotels and that, that the wedding party are expected to pay for it. Planning to give us as part of it, they are helping you out by being there so


  • #19
    cuana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 304 ✭✭cuana


    I think the thing to do would be for the bride to covers cost of make up, dress & shoes. At the end of the day the bride asked you so I would expect that the direct cost is taken care of. I wouldn't expect accommodation. Being a bridesmaid is painful and I wouldn't do it for anyone but family my friends have been well warned! It also brings all this additonal cost from hen nights, time off work for dress fittings, looking for dresses & shoes etc etc it can be tiresome & stressful.

    I've been a bridesmaid twice and my gift to bride was to actual cover cost of dress, shoes hair & make up. I also get to keep items so its grand. Both brides I was bridesmaids for both paid for accommodation.


  • #20
    daithi84
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 197 ✭✭daithi84


    The attitude on her since they started planning this wedding, barking at everyone. Im trying to stay well away from her until the wedding day. She has my other sister driven up the wall with badgering her and shes not even the maid of honour. It will be interesting to see if she has anybody left at the end of it lol. I do think the hotel room should be paid for more so due to the fact that its €150 cheaper if i just got a taxi home at the end of the night but she wants all her family to stay!! W-T-absolute-F!!! Im ready to kill at this stage!!


  • #21
    An Bhanríon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 259 ✭✭An Bhanríon


    I've been bridesmaid twice (Irish weddings) and wasn't let to pay for anything (although I did offer!) My accommodation was also paid for and I also received a gift from the bride.

    However, there were only two bridesmaids each time. As wedding parties get bigger I think things are changing. I believe in America bridesmaids have to pay for the privilege and buy their own dresses, etc. I personally don't agree with this. I think the bridal party shouldn't have to pay for anything. They are, after all, the people who support the bride and groom before and during the wedding. But that is probably just based on my experience of weddings.

    We will have no bridesmaid or best man at our wedding. We are paying for my sister's hotel room, however. She has done a lot already and I know she will support me a lot coming up to the wedding so this is my little gesture of thanks.


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  • #22
    Milly33
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,663 ✭✭✭Milly33


    sounds like she is being a bit of a Zilla.. Let us know how it goes on the day would be interesting.If she is staying ye have to say i would be more than pied if she asked me to pay the bill also..


  • #23
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,464 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    We're paying for:

    Dresses
    Shoes
    Hair
    Makeup
    Accessories

    If they plan to say in the Hotel, they'll pay for themselves.


  • #24
    whatdoicare
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭whatdoicare


    I'm a bridesmaid for a wedding in a few weeks and it was sprung on me that id be paying for
    Dress, shoes, hair and make up.

    I decided that she's getting a budget, if I was a guest i wouldn't be buying a dress or getting hair and make up done and id normally give 150 as a present.

    150 is her budget now, she wont be getting a gift, the stuff is now her gift. If she goes over the budget then I'm not paying the difference, she can pay it.

    Its pure rude to demand anyone pay towards your wedding. If you want Bridesmaids, you pay for them or else let them wear what they want and do their own hair.


  • #25
    cookiecakes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 331 ✭✭cookiecakes


    we paid for:

    make up trial
    hair trial
    hair and make up on the day.
    dresses which they picked themselves
    alterations
    shoes
    hair pieces
    brooch bouquets
    hotel rooms
    flats for the evening
    cardigans for the evening
    furry jackets for the outside photos (we got married in november and it was pretty cold!)

    Being a bridesmaid didn't cost either of them a penny which was how I wanted it. Plus by letting them choose themselves what they wanted and having trials, they looked so happy and comfortable and so them on the day. It was awesome!


  • #26
    princess-lala
    Closed Accounts Posts: 30,731 ✭✭✭✭princess-lala


    I've been a bridesmaid 3 times.

    First time - sister in law. They paid for the dress, shoes, hair, make up and accessories. We paid for our own rooms, tan if we wanted it and nails.

    Second time - another sister in law. They paid for dress, shoes, nails, tan, accessories. Hair and make up was a present from me.

    Third time - cousin. They paid for dress, shoes, accessories - which were quite expensive and if we wanted a bracelet it would have been purchased on the day if we thought we needed it. Hair and make up. Brought us out the night before, spa day the week before paid for by the brides mam. Day after we were taken for dinner too.

    Imo if you want something specific you pay for it.


  • #27
    solerina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,442 ✭✭✭solerina


    Have been bridesmaid three times, and got my dress, shoes, hair and make-up paid for each time.

    For my own wedding I paid for my bridesmaids dresses, shoes, hair, make-up and jewellery.
    They didn't get nails done or tan and didn't need a hotel room for the night.


  • #28
    Sunny Dayz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,519 ✭✭✭Sunny Dayz


    I have never been bridesmaid. When I got married, I just had one bridesmaid, my sister who was just out of secondary school. I paid for her dress, hair, tan and make up. Her shoes and jewellery were bought by my parents for her Grad/Debs which was the week before our wedding so she wore them again. My mum said it was a pity that her grad wasn't the week after the wedding, the one dress would have done both! Her accomodation for the night of the wedding was actually free/included in the hotel package. The hotel included the parents rooms for the night and my parents went for an apartment room (2 bedrooms & pull out sofa) in the hotel so my sister stayed there.


  • #29
    StripedBoxers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,112 ✭✭✭StripedBoxers


    I'm not married, but I have been a bridesmaid for a wedding abroad and the bride/groom paid for our dresses and shoes and they offered to pay for us to get our hair and make up done if we wanted that.


  • #30
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,691 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I was a bridesmaid last year. She paid for the dress and hair. And also a make-up kit, we did our own make-up :) Didn't get tan.

    I paid for the shoes (€6 in Penneys!) and the hotel room.

    I've heard of brides that ask their bridesmaids to get teeth whitning...and pay for it themselves :eek:


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  • #31
    GarIT
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,641 ✭✭✭GarIT


    magicmushroom wrote: »
    Thanks girls.

    I am the bridesmaid in this case and I've been asked to pay for my own shoes.
    If I had some that went with the dress then fine, but I don't and they will need to be some kind of strappy silver sandal which I wouldn't normally buy so I don't feel I should pay.

    We were also asked to pay for makeup but I put my foot down on that one and said No - I am travelling to the UK for the wedding and will be paying for 3 nights in a hotel so I think it's fair to expect no further expense for being a bridesmaid!

    Thanks for your comments

    You're a bridesmaid you shouldn't be paying for travel or accommodation. IMO the couple to be married should pay for everything. Anything to do with appearance, clothing and attending the wedding should be covered.


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