What's the most ridiculous lie you have told that someone has actually believed?

HalloweenJack · 03-04-2014 07:13PM

Not entirely ridiculous but made me chuckle.

My GF was planning my birthday party but wouldn't give anything away about where or when or whom, just that it was on the Saturday. She kept teasing me about it, knowing that I hate surprises. So in a bid to find out some information, I told her that there was a very important match that I wanted to watch on the Saturday and that I wouldn't be available to do anything until five or six at the earliest. She said "Fine, that's not a problem".

Saturday came and she'd organised a nice event. After a few drinks, she revealed that she'd been planning to do something earlier but decided against it when I told her that I was going to be busy "watching the match". Well, I burst out laughing and once I calmed down, admitted that it'd been a ploy to find out some more information. Thankfully, she saw the funny side of it.

harney · 03-04-2014 07:50PM

I had an op years before I met my gf which left me with a scar on my stomach from the 17 staples I received. In an offhand comment years later I told my gf that I got it as the result of defending a little old lady from muggers.

In my defence I didn't even try and make the lie sound convincing, and thought I came off as obviously joking. No, it would appear. Around 4 or 5 years later she asked me about the scar I got savings the little old lady

She did laugh, eventually. I still take the piss out of her every so often about it.

Femme_Fatale · 03-04-2014 11:59PM

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I once spent an afternoon piledriving a girl into the bed as a younger man. Telling her I loved her in order to get more fanny was a bad idea

Dude, we get it by now.

Your posts are also a bit... sexually aggressive shall we say... at times.

Toots · 04-04-2014 12:59AM

Myself and a few friends were going to a house party one night. We knew there was a really annoying guy going who was constantly bull****ting on about how much coke he did and all this crap, even though we knew he'd never touched the stuff. We filled a little baggie with a mixture of bicarb of soda and flour, we even practiced putting a bit out and cutting it into lines, we figured it looked real enough (compared to the likes of Pulp Fiction) and set out to the party. We pulled it out when everyone was a few drinks/joints in and convinced this guy we'd heard him talking about it and decided we'd like to try it, but we wanted him to show us how to do it first, so we didn't waste it cos it was so expensive. He takes a little bit on his finger and rubs it on his gums and starts going on about how it's really good stuff and we got a good deal. We were all creasing up with silent laughter. When he cut it into lines and started snorting it I had to leave the room. To this day he believes it was coke.

Un Croissant · 05-04-2014 12:03PM

Convinced a friend that 'Stupidamerican' (Russian accent) was the Russian word for a Westerner.

Potential-Monke · 05-04-2014 12:28PM

Back when i was 21, i was working for O2 Customer Care. I was starting at 12 on a Friday, but i was in GameStop before it and bought 2 games. I was mad to play them, so before i left home to get on the bus, i tore the bag slightly, and punched myself into the face a couple of times. When i arrived at work, i pretended to be a million miles away, and sat at my desk just staring at the screen. My line manager asked me was everything ok, and i said i was mugged on the way in, but they didn't get anything. She told me to go home and take the day off. I refused, but she insisted. So i got to go home and play my games, and i wasn't even docked pay! Yurt!

corner of hells · 05-04-2014 12:57PM

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Back when i was 21, i was working for O2 Customer Care. I was starting at 12 on a Friday, but i was in GameStop before it and bought 2 games. I was mad to play them, so before i left home to get on the bus, i tore the bag slightly, and punched myself into the face a couple of times. When i arrived at work, i pretended to be a million miles away, and sat at my desk just staring at the screen. My line manager asked me was everything ok, and i said i was mugged on the way in, but they didn't get anything. She told me to go home and take the day off. I refused, but she insisted. So i got to go home and play my games, and i wasn't even docked pay! Yurt!

Punch yourself in the face again , for nostalgia , maybe get a friend record it for us all to see.

kiffer · 05-04-2014 02:32PM

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Back when i was 21, i was working for O2 Customer Care. I was starting at 12 on a Friday, but i was in GameStop before it and bought 2 games. I was mad to play them, so before i left home to get on the bus, i tore the bag slightly, and punched myself into the face a couple of times. When i arrived at work, i pretended to be a million miles away, and sat at my desk just staring at the screen. My line manager asked me was everything ok, and i said i was mugged on the way in, but they didn't get anything. She told me to go home and take the day off. I refused, but she insisted. So i got to go home and play my games, and i wasn't even docked pay! Yurt!

So many ways this could have spiralled out of control... like the episode of The IT Crowd with the gay theatre.

05-04-2014 03:03PM

kingchess wrote: »

when I was around 6 or 7 my brother convinced me that he was adopted and like a fool I believed him for a few weeks,my parents were in stitches listening to us talking about it and would not confirm or deny his story but only laugh even more, around a couple of weeks I finally remembered the unbeatable proof that the little ba stard was telling me a pack of lies--we are identical twins

My favourite

.

MrVestek · 15-07-2014 10:12AM

I once convinced somebody that a Thesaurus was a type of dinosaur.

ruthloss · 15-07-2014 10:28AM

As a student I worked in a famous Supermarket, closing time was at 9pm, we had to wait on the tills until the last customer had been served., some of them would continue mooching round the aisles even after the closing announcement and wander up to the till 20 minutes later. (We were paid till 9 with no overtime)

Someone announced that the 'Computer in Head office' closed down the tills at 9:10 exactly, and no purchases could be processed after that.

There was a stampede up the shop.

BeerWolf · 15-07-2014 10:34AM

Someone else's drinks... be it soft or alcoholic, if from a bottle I'd occasionally help myself to it... and should they query I'd just say it fell to the floor and spilt. :pac:

Dub Ste · 15-07-2014 10:44AM

My brother told me a couple.....

He said that if you kill a wasp,it sends out a distress signal and any wasps nearby will know where you live and come and get you,I believed it for years,and to be honest I still won't even swat a wasp just in case...

He also told me that the erm "ladygardens" of Chinese women go side to side,I only found out he was lying when I found a couple of his "gentlemens interest" videos and was surprised to see that not only that they didn't go side to side,but could also fire out ping pong balls...quite an eye opener for a 12 year old :eek:

Laois_Man · 15-07-2014 10:47AM

Told the wife last night that a load of German soccer players had failed drug tests and they'd have to play the entire World Cup all over again and it was starting next Friday

She believed me .... for a few seconds!!

IrishAlice · 15-07-2014 10:48AM

On holidays in Trabolgan as a teenager I told my cousin that fat people weren't allowed on the slide because one time someone went down and went right over the edge.

They were lucky though and survived because they fell into the pool below

BizzyC · 15-07-2014 10:54AM

Broccoli is a man made vegetable.

It's a result of cross breeding between celery and cauliflower that was carried out by and Italian named "Broccoli".

You'd be surprised how many people are willing to believe that.

nc19 · 15-07-2014 10:59AM

I told 400,000 people that Garth Brooks was going to play in dublin this month........

Knex* · 15-07-2014 11:07AM

For any IT folks out there, told a friend of mine who's heading to Dusseldorf soon with work to start a new project, that Java in Germany was written in a different language to that of the US, Britain and Ireland.

Que hilarious panic as he thought he had to go and learn it again from scratch.

The fact he even fell for that in the first place makes me think the project may not go so well!

kiffer · 15-07-2014 12:13PM

BizzyC wrote: »

Broccoli is a man made vegetable.

It's a result of cross breeding between celery and cauliflower that was carried out by and Italian named "Broccoli".

You'd be surprised how many people are willing to believe that.

Boccoli, cauliflower, brusselsprouts and cabbage are all the same species of plant and can be crossed with out much trouble...
like you can cross different breeds of dog.

and like most breeds of dog were deliberately bred that way... so you can call broccoli man made...

kiffer · 15-07-2014 12:16PM

Dub Ste wrote: »

My brother told me a couple.....

He said that if you kill a wasp,it sends out a distress signal and any wasps nearby will know where you live and come and get you,I believed it for years,and to be honest I still won't even swat a wasp just in case...

:

They won't follow you home but if you are near a nest the chemical they release when they are killed will attract more angry wasps.

Pedro K · 15-07-2014 12:47PM

I have a rather large birth mark near my right armpit/shoulder.

I once convinced a girl on holidays that I had reverse vitiligo (the condition Michael Jackson was said to have had) and was turning black.

She asked, 'so how long before, you know, you go full black?'

Beanstalk · 15-07-2014 12:49PM

I once told a girl that the water tower in UCD was the home of the Dragon Slayer's Society and that the initiation ceremonies took place there where folks were knighted upon entry into the society. I went into loads of detail, can't believe she believed me.

I spose if it were true it would be class.

Elegant Elliot Offen · 15-07-2014 02:02PM

Dunno if it counts as a lie.

But years ago in college I re-took an exam, the lecturer pointed me towards a room (with a computer linked up to the college network) gave me the paper and got back to work in his office, said to drop the paper into him when I was done.

I thought briefly about not cheating but realized that that would be ridiculous.
As Im there with the lectures on the screen infront of me, scribbling away, he feckin walks in ... does a bit of a double take ... says something along the lines of hurry up and fecks off back to his office.

I ended up getting a good grade, it was ridiculous that I got away with that sht.
I think he was just up to his eyeballs with other work and didn't have the time for it.

There was probably a ridiculous lie waiting to be used. Something along the lines of 'the computer was like that when I got here.

Red Pepper · 15-07-2014 02:09PM

A senior VP in a company I used to work for got fired in the US. I heard why he was fired. It was very messy and we did not want it public knowledge.

People kept asking me why he was fired. I kept saying I hadn't a clue. Eventually I said to someone "I am not sure, I think he was caught stealing stationery". I thought the person I said it to would know I was tongue-in-cheek but unfortunately not, the rumour spread like wildfire and eventually came back to me!

Raminahobbin · 15-07-2014 02:19PM

My friend in college (male) had a ONS with another girl on the course. We were having a chat about it over lunch, and I took a notion to invent this story about him stealing some of her spoons when he was alone in the kitchen.

Maybe because I was a pretty quiet and reserved person who they felt they could trust, or maybe it was because it was too stupid to be a lie, or that it REALLY embarrassed my friend and he looked crazy guilty as a result, but everyone on the course believed it. They thought he was a complete freak, and even 3 years later, in the last year of the course, people were mentioning it to me, having heard it as fact.

He's mad for spoons. His favourite are the longer shape dessert ones, not so much the round soup spoons (although he will take them in a pinch), but he definitely has a penchant for small teaspoons of unusual shapes. Every restaurant he eats in, he'll pocket a spoon. You'd want to watch him.

Red Pepper · 15-07-2014 02:28PM

Raminahobbin wrote: »

My friend in college (male) had a ONS with another girl on the course. We were having a chat about it over lunch, and I took a notion to invent this story about him stealing some of her spoons when he was alone in the kitchen.

Maybe because I was a pretty quiet and reserved person who they felt they could trust, or maybe it was because it was too stupid to be a lie, or that it REALLY embarrassed my friend and he looked crazy guilty as a result, but everyone on the course believed it. They thought he was a complete freak, and even 3 years later, in the last year of the course, people were mentioning it to me, having heard it as fact.

You never thought to reveal the lie? Classy.

Raminahobbin · 15-07-2014 02:44PM

Red Pepper wrote: »

You never thought to reveal the lie? Classy.

Of course I did, when people said it back to me, but at that stage he was getting a huge giggle out of it as well so it was all good. He even encouraged it by keeping a spoon in his car and pretending to steal them at lunch.

This is now 8 years on from the original lie, and he still thinks it's funny.

I keep meaning to get him a spoon mounted and engraved for Christmas or something

Sulla Felix · 15-07-2014 02:57PM

Oh tons, my gf is really gullible. Off the top of my head: that I was adopted, that we used to have a groundskeeper and his son was trampled to death by a horse when I was a kid. Probably a few more.
Oh! at a barbecue when I was a kid, came around the back of the house to the adults and told them one of the cars was rolling down the driveway (we lived on a bit of a hill). Cue panic, table goes over, food, glasses everything smashed on the ground.

My brother was a bastard for it though. Told me I was adopted when I was six, and more importantly, that I wasn't supposed to know, so if I went to Mum and Dad and asked, they'd have to give me back, thems the rules. :pac:

IrishAlice · 15-07-2014 03:18PM

Sulla Felix wrote: »

Told me I was adopted when I was six, and more importantly, that I wasn't supposed to know, so if I went to Mum and Dad and asked, they'd have to give me back, thems the rules. :pac:

They are the rules...awkward.

What's the most ridiculous lie you have told that someone has actually believed?

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