What's the most ridiculous lie you have told that someone has actually believed?

StormWarrior

As a teenager there was a girl in my class with terrible acne. She asked me if I knew any good remedies for getting rid of spots. I told her that I knew a cure that worked every time. I said the next time your family eats a chicken, peel off the chicken's skin and lay it over your face. Rub it into your face so that the grease gets into your pores. It's the best cure there is and it's how my skin got so clear. She totally believed me and phoned her mum from school asking if they could have a chicken for dinner that night. But before we went home I felt bad and told her that I'd made it up.


When I was a child we lived in a house that backed onto loads of huger fields. My mother always warned me never to play in the fields as there were bad people out there. I ignored her and often went playing out there anyway. One day my cousins came over for a few hours. Eventually their mum shouted that it was time for them to go home. I hadn't finished playing with them and didn't want them to go home, so I hatched a cunning plan. I told my youngest cousin to go and hide in an old wardrobe in the garage. Then I went into our parents, looking suitably tragic and said, "Mum, I know you told us not to play in the fields but we did anyway. We lost Erin and we looked everywhere for her but couldn't find her. Then we saw a man walking along carrying a big sack. Something inside the sack was squirming and it sounded like Erin's voice was coming from the sack, calling, "Help me!"
Our parents totally believed this story and became frantic. The rushed out into the field looking for the man with the sack but he was nowhere to be found. The came back in to the garage and said, "OK we'll have to call the police." Erin heard this and finally came out and admitted she was there.

Anyone else ever made someone believe something silly?

Menas

You are great OP.

(See what I did there?)

Ficheall

"I love you."



Nah, that'd be mean. I'm lovely.

dmc17

I believe you

danniemcq

I only drank a pint

Explosive_Cornflake

I'm on the pill

PizzamanIRL

I convinced my silly peers that a bag of crushed up silvermints was cocaine. Age: 15

mathie

"I only got that letter on the 24 March"

Sir Arthur Daley

She is my sister for God sakes that's why we text so much.

Whillikers

It's in the post garda

orangesoda

that i had an 8 inch shlong

Boom_Bap

I'll just put the tip in

pundy

i didnt want to do my homework when i was about 7, and my mam was asking "why arent you doing your homework - will the teacher not be asking where it is tomorrow?" i said "no the teacher isnt in" - and without having thought out the rest, she asked "why not"? i said "eh... er.. she got hit by a bus last week and wont be in for another while".... Jaysis she says...

anyway, a few days passed and then it was sunday. my mam had obviously believed me, and i kept up the lie anytime i was asked again by mam or dad. Little did i know that i'd be pulled out of the classroom by the ear on monday morning, because my dad had put into the paper (he was writing a weekly article for the sunday tribune or one of those at the time) that this teacher had been hit by a bus and he wished her a speedy recovery.

i never lied again. i lie, i did lie again.

I opened the refrigerator door while I was yawning and the last slice of chocolate cheesecake slid off the shelf and just fell in my open mouth.

Actually no, no one believed that.

AlmightyCushion

Years ago I was talking to an American girl in a pub in Dublin. She said she was doing a trip around the UK and Ireland and how it's so much fun and all the people are great etc etc The one thing she couldn't understand though is that pretty much every English person she spoke to said that the Irish are great and loads of fun but a lot of Irish people said the English were bastards or whatever and she couldn't understand why. I gave her a very brief synopsis of the whole 800 years thing but added in that the English killed all our leprechauns and stole all their gold as a joke. She thought I was being serious so I just played along.

orangesoda

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Years ago I was talking to an American girl in a pub in Dublin. She said she was doing a trip around the UK and Ireland and how it's so much fun and all the people are great etc etc The one thing she couldn't understand though is that pretty much every English person she spoke to said that the Irish are great and loads of fun but a lot of Irish people said the English were bastards or whatever and she couldn't understand why. I gave her a very brief synopsis of the whole 800 years thing but added in that the English killed all our leprechauns and stole all their gold as a joke. She thought I was being serious so I just played along.

I think it was about 750 years if you were talking specifically about Dublin, certainly not the case in other areas and that's if you're counting the Anglo-Normans as 'English'

Alf. A. Male

I can't be the only one who sold Oxo to gullible schoolfriends.

blastman

Years ago, when my friend and I were about 16, we told his then-girlfriend that we had written a song on the album Breakfast In America. There's a song on it called Lord Is It Mine, which is a simple enough song with pretty much just piano accompaniment. He played piano to a fairly high standard, so the story was that he had written the music and I'd written the words. She was sceptical but we ended up convincing her....never admitted we were lying, either!

snaphook

"Penneys are selling 3 shirts for a pound. 33 pence each!"

"Are they?!?!? :eek:"

:rolleyes:

Duggy747

I used to convince people not to go near computers if they were sick because "That's how they get viruses." :pac:

jonnyfingers

I convinced my girlfriend that small Helicopters are called Helichoppers and that's where the nickname choppers comes from. If it has two doors or less it's a Helichopper, more than two doors it's a Helicopter.

I forgot all about it until I overheard hear teaching that same lesson to one of her friends a few month's later as a "helichopper" fly by.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

I picked up a sun tan over Easter holidays in 4th year as I'd been working outside with my dad every day. I told one rather girl that I'd picked it working in Africa building houses for poor people over the holidays. She repeated this to everyone and many believed it.

poundapunnet

A couple of weeks ago my sister, my brother and my brother's new girlfriend were on the way up for Limerick (first time the new GF was meeting the folks). Just for a bit of background on this, my parents get on very well but there'd been a bit of tension recently over my dad failing to quit smoking.

So a couple of hours before everyone got back, my dad was putting a saucepan away and it landed back down on top of him, he split the bridge of his nose and had a black-eye coming up. I texted my sister saying 'mam's after giving dad a belt in the face over smoking', kind of thought she'd text back pretty quick with 'what' or 'yeah right' or something. No word from her, I forgot about it, was wrecked so went to get some kip because we were all heading out later.

Wake up about an hour and a half later, I've 5 texts from her '****, seriously' 'is he ok' 'we're nearly back are we walking into a war zone' 'what should I say to the others??' 'oh my god seriously text me back'

Go up to the kitchen and they're all there, my dad's been telling them how 'I'm so clumsy and a saucepan fell on my face', my sister keeps throwing my mam really dark looks, my brother's poor new girlfriend standing there nodding at my dad's explanation with a frozen grin of terror on her face....

In my defence I didn't think she'd just believe me straight away!

sausages79

I told my girlfriend that Sébastien Chabal (hairy French rugby player) was found in the mountains and couldn't speak but they realised he was great at rugby...

She proudly told our group of friends while in the pub watching a French match that Chabal was a mute mountain man :-)

josip

My granny died

Not technically a lie, as it was just a joke that I didn't expect anyone to believe. I used to babysit and the kids were watching a TV show one day which joked about the dinosaur extinction being 60 million years ago last Tuesday.

So I was in secondary school, in science class, and we're talking about dinosaurs, and I say to my friend "Well did you know, next Tuesday is the 60 million year anniversary of the dinosaur extinction " and we have a little laugh. About 2 minutes later, a girl sitting behind us puts her hand up:
"Sir, did you know next Tuesday is the 60 million year anniversary of the dinosaurs dying out?". Even after the teacher laughed, she still didn't realise it was a joke and we had to explain it to her.

mathie

josip wrote: »

My granny died

Stephen Ireland is that you?

kiffer

Most ridiculous?
"Hitler invented pillows"

Un Croissant

Told a friend in college that my GF has to pre-chew all my food for me and then spit it into my mouth. She knows I'm ill but wasn't sure with what so I told her I had a digestive disease. She believed us.

Just last week I convinced my GFs brother that I was a Swedish orphan brought to Ireland to escape a drug ring that consumed my Swedish mother. I stood up and sang 99 red balloons (in German) which he bought as the Swedish national anthem.

Manzoor14

My sister was using the pink vaseline on her lips one day. I told her they use flamingo skin to create the pink colour.

Thought no more about it for about 2 years until I overheard her telling the same thing to someone else. Turns out she'd believed me and told all her friends in school (who subsequently all stopped using it!) and anyone else she'd seen using the stuff!

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

In my teens this girl gave me a hickey, horrible things. I don't bruise easily so it was not that bad, my mother detests them and asked me what the hell was on my neck. I don't know why, but I said I was hoovering the house and got the end of the hoover stuck to my neck. She said I was a gobshíte and not be be messing around with the hoover.

I couldn't believe it worked, I felt like a bloody genius

gouche

I told my 4-year-old that the Rocket I planted in the back garden would eventually grow and blast off to the moon - I think she believed me.
Does that count?

uch

I had the snip years ago, you're safe

greentea is just wrong

Back in school, I told a few friends that I was sitting on the front of the bus, and when I was opening a tube of smarties the pop made the bus driver jump and he crashed the school bus..and they believed me. To be fair, he was a notoriously bad driver and had nearly taken us off the road a few times!

Vito Corleone

Told a girl I was French to impress her. Now every time I see her I have to say "Bonjour" in a stupid accent.

Bipolar Joe

I once convinced a woman on the train that Weird Al is my Dad.

ion564

I had a quite night

Rasheed

Was in a bar in Cardiff a few years ago, it was Paddys day and in a drunken sense of nationalist pride we decided to chance a pint of Guinness.

A young Welsh fella comes up to me and starts chatting. He asks why were we all drinking the black stuff to which I replied that when Irish people leave the country, we're obliged to drink Guinness. 'Oh right' says he and after a few minutes chatting he toddles off.

Ten minutes later, here comes the poor bollox with a tray of pints over to our table. Not only did he believe me but said he'd join us in our patriotic session. Poor lad, I got weak laughing.

MonstaMash

Told my kids when they were little that if they didn't brush their teeth before bed, the tooth burglars would come in the night & steal their teeth :eek:

I then pulled out my denture to prove the point...that put the fear in the wee buggers

Now their all grown up & they'll never need dentures :pac::pac::pac:

maughantourig

I convinced my 8 year old cousin that japanese mountain zombies exist

Pumpkinseeds

When I told my husband that I don't hate his mother.

kingchess

when I was around 6 or 7 my brother convinced me that he was adopted and like a fool I believed him for a few weeks,my parents were in stitches listening to us talking about it and would not confirm or deny his story but only laugh even more, around a couple of weeks I finally remembered the unbeatable proof that the little ba stard was telling me a pack of lies--we are identical twins

Wacker The Attacker

I once spent an afternoon piledriving a girl into the bed as a younger man. Telling her I loved her in order to get more fanny was a bad idea

Gotham

When I was in primary school, I convinced a friend that he had "the gift". A supernatural power to see into the future, somehow. He was skeptical of course, until I said: "Have you ever gone to answer the door, but you knew who it was before you did?". He looked at me without response. "Have you ever heard the phone ring and knew who it was, before you answered it?". He started to look worried. The next day he came running to me and dragged me into private, "It happened, I answered the door and it was Gary, I knew it was him, I don't know why". And for the next two years, he believed all the little coincidences that happened him were of his own doing. Until he grew old enough to realise it was bull, now he doesn't even believe things that are true. I do feel bad for that, scarred for life.

I got a couple of stories about some friends:

Lets call this guy Barry, he worked doing security for gigs and was put standing in an isle at some sports event, I'll presume it was in the Aviva. Some Americans had come for the day and were sitting quite close to where he was standing. They made it very obvious they were tourists. At some point, one of the men got up to head to the toilets and as he passed, asked "Are leprechauns real?". Barry, not sure if this was a joke, laughed and "Yeah" with a big grin. The guy walked on, but on his way back from the toilet asked "And have you ever seen one?". Still slightly confused, Barry says "Yeah" again but still unsure if his leg is being pulled. This exchange continued in a similar manner over the course of a few toilet breaks until the American man says "Where can I go to find them?", at this stage Barry is convinced the man is for real, so he gives him directions to a forest about an hours drive up the M1. The final question was, "a-and what do they look like?", to which Barry replied "Squirrels, you cant tell them apart".

No harm to Americans, but I have another related story. My friend "Des" went on a holiday to the states. He told me about these group of guys he met, nice people but apparently no common sense. After hearing he's from Ireland and watching too many Titanic-like films, he asks "Do they have the internet in Ireland?" and Des responds with "The Internet? What's that?". The conversation later turned to the economic crisis we were going through, and Des says "Ah sure that's not really as big of a deal as it's made out to be, when were low on money we can just use potatoes as currency".

endacl

I hated Bosco as a kid. My younger sister loved to watch the little ginger fcucker every day. When I was ten, I told her Bosco had died. She was inconsolable, and I got into a fair bit of trouble later in the day, but By the Power of Greyskull, I got to watch He-Man that day!

She still won't let it lie. 30 feckin' years later...

El Diablo Blanco

I was discussing the director James Cameron with a few friends once, and mentioned that he was regarded as notoriously difficult to work with. That part is actually true- or rumoured to be true, anyway. I regaled them with an anecdote,though, that was pure Hollywood hogwash.

I’d claimed that when Cameron was shooting ‘The Abyss’ in the ‘80s, he had specifically asked his lighting guy to use a 62 watt bulb to light a scene with. The technician had spent the afternoon trying in vain to find a 62 watt bulb, but every store only stocked the standard 60w. In the end, he bought a 60w, and figured Cameron would never notice.

When the time came to shoot the scene, Cameron called action, but calmly called ‘cut’ again within 10-20 seconds of rolling. He took off his headset, and got up from behind the monitor, walked over to the lighting guy, and asked him not to return the next day. The guy didn’t protest, and quietly left the set in disgrace.

This story,amazingly, was believed initially- I did own up to it eventually, though.

Legs.Eleven

Told my classmates that Sting was my uncle.

Ihatecuddles

I was going to America for 3 weeks a few years ago. My friend asked me why we were going for 3 weeks, we normally only go for 2.

I said its because hours in America are only 40 minutes long, so technically we'll be gone from ireland for 3 weeks but only there for 2.

She rang me a few weeks later to say that she told her mam and her mam was mortified for her!

Paddy Cow

When I was young my mother was going out and I asked her where she was going. "To see a man about a dog" she said. I was super excited and then crushed when she arrived home with no puppy and just laughed when I asked where it was

I am pie

Alf. A. Male wrote: »

I can't be the only one who sold Oxo to gullible schoolfriends.

Oregano...tenner a bag.

redfacedbear

Our science teacher for the Inter Cert was an old timer coasting to retirement. We had three classes with him each week - two singles and a double lab class. The double was last two on a Friday and week-in week-out neither him nor us were in the mood for doing much by time we got to his class. I think we did one actual experiment in the whole 3 years we had him.

One Friday, having ignored us for half of the double he starts trying to teach us in the second half. We were beyond control at that stage. I got singled out for punishment - write out the page we were on 20 times for the next class on Tuesday.

I didn't bother - "There's no way he's going to remember by Tuesday" and "It's not fair!" being my justifications.

So Tuesday's class arrives and first thing he says is of course "somebody has a punishment to hand in don't they?"

Balls!

The two desks in front of me are empty and I can feel the whole class turning to look at me - there's nowhere to hide or escape....

"He's out, sir" I say gesturing at the empty desks in front of me.

"He's out?" asks the teacher looking directly at me.... "okay"