Best Ever Newspaper Headline ....?

Ditch · 13-07-2014 03:40PM #1

About fifteen years ago now, I was in a works tea room and there was a copy of the Sun left on the table. A little, inch or so column on the open page caught my eye, for some reason. I wandered over and read it:

" Farmer, Terry Suggdon, has become so enraged with thieves, regularly entering his land and helping themselves to his crop of young christmas trees, that he has reverted to drastic measures in an effort to curb them.

He has sprayed the entire crop and left them dripping with slurry. "

Er, yeah. 'So what?' hardly news, is it? Even for the Sun. But, I can see why the Editor allowed it. Some young hack, who'd do well here, had come up with the headline that still cracks me up to this day .....

" On The Trail Of The Loathsome Pine "

What's yours ....?

cloud493 · 13-07-2014 03:41PM

That one from The Sun during the falklands war, 'GOTCHA. OUR LADS SINK GUNBOAT AND CRUISER'

muddypaws · 13-07-2014 03:43PM

cloud493 wrote: »

That one from The Sun during the falklands war, 'GOTCHA. OUR LADS SINK GUNBOAT AND CRUISER'

To my mind, that is the worst ever.

RikkFlair · 13-07-2014 03:45PM

"Massive Blow Jobs for Belmullet"

The Master · 13-07-2014 03:45PM

This One

Harry Palmr · 13-07-2014 03:47PM

Sticks nix hick pix
SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC, CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS
Dewey Defeats Truman
World War 2 Bomber Found on Moon

bmwguy · 13-07-2014 03:48PM

Ditch wrote: »

About fifteen years ago now, I was in a works tea room and there was a copy of the Sun left on the table. A little, inch or so column on the open page caught my eye, for some reason. I wandered over and read it:

" Farmer, Terry Suggdon, has become so enraged with thieves, regularly entering his land and helping themselves to his crop of young christmas trees, that he has reverted to drastic measures in an effort to curb them.

He has sprayed the entire crop and left them dripping with slurry. "

Er, yeah. 'So what?' hardly news, is it? Even for the Sun. But, I can see why the Editor allowed it. Some young hack, who'd do well here, had come up with the headline that still cracks me up to this day .....

" On The Trail Of The Loathsome Pine "

What's yours ....?

I honestly don't get it. I understand the sentence but why is it clever? Is it a play on words of something else?

The_Valeyard · 13-07-2014 03:49PM

Last years Metro during the heatwave

"Yellow object spotted in Sky"

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 13-07-2014 03:50PM

this

frag420 · 13-07-2014 03:51PM

aliens-found-in-hedge-fund-leaders-brain

http://weeklyworldnews.com/aliens/66200/aliens-found-in-hedge-fund-leaders-brain/

Sir Osis of Liver. · 13-07-2014 03:52PM

Diana was still alive hours before she died.

Harry Palmr · 13-07-2014 03:53PM

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Diana was still alive hours before she died.

Daily Express I take it?

banquo · 13-07-2014 03:54PM

"Iraqi Head Seeks Arms"

"Tornado Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead"

"Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over"

Sulla Felix · 13-07-2014 03:54PM

bmwguy wrote: »

I honestly don't get it. I understand the sentence but why is it clever? Is it a play on words of something else?

On the trail of the loathsome swine? Dunno...

WesternZulu · 13-07-2014 03:54PM

We've had some good ones in Mayo

http://www.11points.com/images/inbox/mayojobsblow.jpg

http://www.free-jokes-online.com/thumb/sex-offender-leaves-westport.jpg

Tokyo · 13-07-2014 03:57PM

"Diana was still alive hours before she died"

That's right... SHE WAS ALIVE before she was dead.

[edit]dammit - beaten to it

Ruu · 13-07-2014 04:05PM

How to deal with defeat!

Ditch · 13-07-2014 04:08PM

bmwguy wrote: »

I honestly don't get it. I understand the sentence but why is it clever? Is it a play on words of something else?

Sulla Felix wrote: »

On the trail of the loathsome swine? Dunno...

Err ..... Sorry, I never considered some of you people are not That old .....

It was brought back, as a single, in 1975. It did rather well. That's how come I was so familiar with it and got it straight away

thee glitz · 13-07-2014 04:09PM

"Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaulted her ex-girlfriend in gay pub after she waved at man dressed as a Snickers bar".

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/177660/SNICKERS-SUMO.jpg

DazMarz · 13-07-2014 05:13PM

"Dewey Defeats Truman"

Grab All Association · 13-07-2014 05:21PM

Knicker nicker gets nicked.

o1s1n · 13-07-2014 05:25PM

China Fararri Sex Orgy Death Crash.

Was on the Metro a couple of years ago.

jill_valentine · 13-07-2014 05:27PM

thee glitz wrote: »

"Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaulted her ex-girlfriend in gay pub after she waved at man dressed as a Snickers bar".

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/177660/SNICKERS-SUMO.jpg

That one really was something else. And the thing is, it was true - that really was factually what happened. There was simply no less mental way to outline the circumstances of the case than precisely that headline.

I fondly remember my local county paper burning up the newsagent shelves once with the amazing front page headline "Cow Dies".

13-07-2014 05:31PM

http://thetelegraph.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?avis=PE&date=20120309&category=news&lopenr=303099881

Army vehicle disappears after being camouflaged

Invisible paint?

Hidalgo · 13-07-2014 05:34PM

After luis Suarez's world cup bite
'Chewey louie and the blues'

13-07-2014 05:34PM

"Nobody Gave Ecstacy To Disco Kangaroo"

This one was taken from a 40th Birthday Party in Clondalkin, West Dublin about 4 years ago. Apparently the party goers snuck a kangaroo into the function room and got him goofed up on pep pills.