Best Ever Newspaper Headline ....?

Ditch

About fifteen years ago now, I was in a works tea room and there was a copy of the Sun left on the table. A little, inch or so column on the open page caught my eye, for some reason. I wandered over and read it:

" Farmer, Terry Suggdon, has become so enraged with thieves, regularly entering his land and helping themselves to his crop of young christmas trees, that he has reverted to drastic measures in an effort to curb them.

He has sprayed the entire crop and left them dripping with slurry. "

Er, yeah. 'So what?' hardly news, is it? Even for the Sun. But, I can see why the Editor allowed it. Some young hack, who'd do well here, had come up with the headline that still cracks me up to this day .....

" On The Trail Of The Loathsome Pine "

What's yours ....?

cloud493

That one from The Sun during the falklands war, 'GOTCHA. OUR LADS SINK GUNBOAT AND CRUISER'

muddypaws

cloud493 wrote: »

That one from The Sun during the falklands war, 'GOTCHA. OUR LADS SINK GUNBOAT AND CRUISER'

To my mind, that is the worst ever.

RikkFlair

"Massive Blow Jobs for Belmullet"

The Master

This One

Harry Palmr

Sticks nix hick pix
SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC, CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS
Dewey Defeats Truman
World War 2 Bomber Found on Moon

bmwguy

Ditch wrote: »

About fifteen years ago now, I was in a works tea room and there was a copy of the Sun left on the table. A little, inch or so column on the open page caught my eye, for some reason. I wandered over and read it:

" Farmer, Terry Suggdon, has become so enraged with thieves, regularly entering his land and helping themselves to his crop of young christmas trees, that he has reverted to drastic measures in an effort to curb them.

He has sprayed the entire crop and left them dripping with slurry. "

Er, yeah. 'So what?' hardly news, is it? Even for the Sun. But, I can see why the Editor allowed it. Some young hack, who'd do well here, had come up with the headline that still cracks me up to this day .....

" On The Trail Of The Loathsome Pine "

What's yours ....?

I honestly don't get it. I understand the sentence but why is it clever? Is it a play on words of something else?

The_Valeyard

Last years Metro during the heatwave


"Yellow object spotted in Sky"

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

this

frag420

aliens-found-in-hedge-fund-leaders-brain


http://weeklyworldnews.com/aliens/66200/aliens-found-in-hedge-fund-leaders-brain/

Sir Osis of Liver.

Diana was still alive hours before she died.

Harry Palmr

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Diana was still alive hours before she died.

Daily Express I take it?

banquo

"Iraqi Head Seeks Arms"

"Tornado Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead"

"Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over"

Sulla Felix

bmwguy wrote: »

I honestly don't get it. I understand the sentence but why is it clever? Is it a play on words of something else?

On the trail of the loathsome swine? Dunno...

WesternZulu

We've had some good ones in Mayo

http://www.11points.com/images/inbox/mayojobsblow.jpg

http://www.free-jokes-online.com/thumb/sex-offender-leaves-westport.jpg

Tokyo

"Diana was still alive hours before she died"



That's right... SHE WAS ALIVE before she was dead.


[edit]dammit - beaten to it

Ruu

How to deal with defeat!

Ditch

bmwguy wrote: »

I honestly don't get it. I understand the sentence but why is it clever? Is it a play on words of something else?

Sulla Felix wrote: »

On the trail of the loathsome swine? Dunno...

Err ..... Sorry, I never considered some of you people are not That old .....

It was brought back, as a single, in 1975. It did rather well. That's how come I was so familiar with it and got it straight away

thee glitz

"Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaulted her ex-girlfriend in gay pub after she waved at man dressed as a Snickers bar".

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/177660/SNICKERS-SUMO.jpg

DazMarz

"Dewey Defeats Truman"

Grab All Association

Knicker nicker gets nicked.

o1s1n

China Fararri Sex Orgy Death Crash.

Was on the Metro a couple of years ago.

jill_valentine

thee glitz wrote: »

"Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaulted her ex-girlfriend in gay pub after she waved at man dressed as a Snickers bar".

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/177660/SNICKERS-SUMO.jpg

That one really was something else. And the thing is, it was true - that really was factually what happened. There was simply no less mental way to outline the circumstances of the case than precisely that headline.

I fondly remember my local county paper burning up the newsagent shelves once with the amazing front page headline "Cow Dies".

http://thetelegraph.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?avis=PE&date=20120309&category=news&lopenr=303099881

Army vehicle disappears after being camouflaged

Invisible paint?

Hidalgo

After luis Suarez's world cup bite
'Chewey louie and the blues'

Omackeral

"Nobody Gave Ecstacy To Disco Kangaroo"

This one was taken from a 40th Birthday Party in Clondalkin, West Dublin about 4 years ago. Apparently the party goers snuck a kangaroo into the function room and got him goofed up on pep pills.

Trebor176

"Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing"

"Pope approves use of condoms after historic shift"

bmwguy

bmwguy wrote: »

I honestly don't get it. I understand the sentence but why is it clever? Is it a play on words of something else?

This!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qApsAPnoH7c

EDIT Beaten to it, anyway, this one is in colour.

rolliepoley

Tiger Woods plays with own balls, says Nike.

Dan_Solo

"Pigs 'ere" - during this he swine flu.
Gazza's Shazza Wazza something or other. Dammit, can' remember exactly... not that memorable then obviously!

thee glitz

In relation to Inverness winning 3-0:
Super Caley Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious

Czarcasm

FREDDIE STARR ATE MY HAMSTER





Turned out to be untrue of course -

Publicist Max Clifford reveals the truth behind The Sun's classic headline during his evidence to the Leveson Inquiry.

Follow live updates from the Leveson Inquiry

Max Clifford told the Leveson Inquiry into media ethics that The Sun ran the now infamous headline 'Freddie Star Ate my Hamster' on its front page on March 13, 1986 with his permission, despite the story being untrue.

Starr has always denied eating the creature in question.

Mr Clifford admitted he allowed the story to go ahead in order to drum up publicity for the comedian ahead of a tour.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/leveson-inquiry/9072308/Leveson-Inquiry-the-truth-behind-Freddie-Starr-ate-my-hamster.html

K-9

Sweden beat Graham Taylors England in the 92 Euros, Swedes 3 TurnUps 0, with a picture of Taylor looking like a Turnip head. Freddie Star ate my Hamster.

major bill

These two

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=86901612&postcount=4001

Wicklowrider

In the early '90's some journalists named Limerick " Stab City" after numerous stabbings. The Mayor went on record to object to this and said Limerick was in fact "Fab City" That very night an unfortunate was stabbed. Headline next day " Man Fabbed to death in Limerick"

rolliepoley

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/598763/314447.png

Davarus Walrus

Kick in the balls.

fleet_admiral

The sun when pat the baker died

'Pat the baker is brown bread'

sam34

The Sunday indo had an article titled "it's do or die for Di and Dodi" published the Sunday morning as news of their deaths was spreading. The article was about whether they'd ever get married or have kids.

A cow called Daisy

Did see "colour blind motorist given green light to drive." Can't remember where.

Probably was printed somewhere "Brooks to play 5 nights in Dublin"

foxy farmer

Mental patient escaped from St Patricks hospital. About an hour later he indecently assaults a woman working in a laundrette but flees when a customer intervenes. Headline on the Herald that evening reads
"Nut screws washer and bolts"

ElvisChrist6

My favourite is when Michael Jackson died, most went with headlines like "King of Pop dies at 50", "Motown legend has myocardial infarction", but the Sun had the amazingly sensitive headline:

Wacko Jacko Heart-Attacko.

the groutch

years ago when a keeper error (Liverpool iirc) allowed a certain Newcastle midfielder score a late winner against them.

"How did you let that one Ketsbaia?"

Mully_2011

Pigeon steals Roast

That was in the local paper a few years back

--LOS--

The Master wrote: »

This One

Yep

"Gordon Ramsay’s Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead In A Badger Den"


I still think of that lad and his diamond encrusted soda stream :pac:

vitani

Can't link to it because I'm on my phone but I love this one from the Armagh Gazette:

Over £100m!
Is this the rail price?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught up in land buys
No escape from bureaucracy!

woodoo

Something simple like this. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/147241/Goat-sex-perv-is-jailed.html

Read the article, i had tears running down my face when i read it years ago.

mrsbyrne

Even as we speak my husband is shouting " Up your Junta" at the Argies (Falkland war, The Sun).
Michael Barrymore the host of popular game show Strike it Lucky came out as gay, following morning Sun says "Strike it Ducky".

5uspect

Always get a laugh from the Register.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/12/israeli_one_eyed_robot_snake/

pampootie

When George Michael crashed his car years back while high on something or other, the Sun went with "Wham!" I thought it was hilarious

Filmer Paradise

Lucky man sees pals die.