The most socially awkward moment of your life?

Conall Cernach · 07-07-2014 10:00PM

Early 1991 I was going out with a girl from Portmarnock and she was introducing me to her parents for the first time. Ireland were playing England at Wembley and we were running a bit late for the match on the tv so arrived at her house about 15 or 20 minutes into the match. Her brother opened the door and said "One nil to Ireland" and I went "YESSSSSSSS" only for him to say "only messing, one nil to England." I then had to sit in her living room with her aul boy with a face like thunder at the Nordie coming in celebrating England scoring.

fleet_admiral · 07-07-2014 10:06PM

mike_ie wrote: »

The plaid uniform still hanging at the back of the door should have triggered a red alert....

you should have got her to wear it

Tokyo · 07-07-2014 10:08PM

fleet_admiral wrote: »

you should have got her to wear it

Waits patiently for the thread titled "The most socially awesome moment of your life"....

Cerveja69 · 07-07-2014 10:10PM

A few years ago I went to the hairdresser and dyed my blonde hair brown. Afterwards, I went into Bewleys cafe to have a coffee. I was walking up the stairs when this girl stepped out in front of me. She looked really familiar. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

I stepped to the left to let her pass but she stupidly also stepped to the left. I then stepped to the right but so did she. What's this girls problem, I was thinking when I heard sniggering coming from the dining hall next to me. It then dawned on me that there was a mirror at the top of the stairs and I'd been trying to step out of my refections way!

I was so mortified I legged it down the stairs and ran away!

House of Blaze · 07-07-2014 10:11PM

Another bad one I remember started out on the Luas.

Me and a mate of mine got on the luas heading back into town one day, all the seats were taken and so we were standing holding the vertical rail near the door but it wasn't packed or anything.

Anyway this couple get on and are standing there next to us in the middle, and i'm standing there with one hand in my pocket and the other holding the rail.

So im just standing there with my friend and the couple just gliding along all grand, the girl in the couple starts looking for something in her handbag anyway and not holding on to the rail at some point.

I'm just kind of staring out the window or whatever when there is suddenly an abrupt halt as the Luas brakes hard.

So an instant after this my hand has shot out of my pocket to try and steady the girl looking through her handbag.

Only whatever way my hand has tried to come out of my pocket, it kind of got stuck for a split second before springing out of my pocket with much more force than I had intended.

Also, whatever awkward way my hand is catapulted out of my pocket ends up with me essentially jabbing her straight in the breast out of nowhere, almost knocking her over.

Of course, the girl and her boyfriend just sort of looked at me really funny. I think they probably knew that I was trying to steady her but didn't know quite what to make of the result.

The guy especially was not pleased.

Anyway, I mumbled 'sorry' and made my way down to next carriage burning away with the scarleh while my mate wet himself laughing..

Shane-KornSpace · 07-07-2014 10:14PM

Y'know the pedestrian crossing at O'Connell Bridge, going on to O'Connell Street?
Y'know how there's always a crowd of people waiting to cross?
Well the green Man lit up and I crossed.

I Kicked the ****ing curb fell flat on me face. Queue a load of people breaking ****es laughing at me!

El Weirdo · 07-07-2014 10:17PM

mike_ie wrote: »

The plaid uniform still hanging at the back of the door should have triggered a red alert....

Is that what they call it nowadays?

trashcan · 07-07-2014 10:18PM

mike_ie wrote: »

they figure out that Kevin Spacey is, in fact, Keyser Soze...

Whaaaatttt - Nooooooo. You've ruined it on me now :mad: (;))

corner of hells · 07-07-2014 10:28PM

Cerveja69 wrote: »

A few years ago I went to the hairdresser and dyed my blonde hair brown. Afterwards, I went into Bewleys cafe to have a coffee. I was walking up the stairs when this girl stepped out in front of me. She looked really familiar. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

I stepped to the left to let her pass but she stupidly also stepped to the left. I then stepped to the right but so did she. What's this girls problem, I was thinking when I heard sniggering coming from the dining hall next to me. It then dawned on me that there was a mirror at the top of the stairs and I'd been trying to step out of my refections way!

I was so mortified I legged it down the stairs and ran away!

I'm pretty certain this is Mrs Corner.

unknowngirl!! · 07-07-2014 10:30PM

In September I started in a new school as a French teacher. In August we had staff meetings and planning etc. A nun, in her late eighties, who used to teach in the school and who calls in every year to meet the new staff arrived at lunch time. She came up to me and asked me who I was and I introduced myself. She was hard of hearing and turned her cheek and lifted her face towards me...

However, after just returning from a few weeks in France, where it's custom to kiss the person you're greeting, I forgot myself and instead of speaking up for her to hear me I planted a kiss on her cheek. The moment of realisation as my lips touched her skin was awful, my heart dropped...

I'm still not over it almost a year later!

Foleymoley · 07-07-2014 10:36PM

A couple of years ago my brother in law was sitting in a car with his mates outside one of their houses. He turns to his mate and says "go in and ask ur sister has she any good cd's" needless to say his mate wasnt impressed as his sister is deaf. He totally forgot. ðŸ˜€

Cerveja69 · 07-07-2014 10:37PM

unknowngirl!! wrote: »

In September I started in a new school as a French teacher. In August we had staff meetings and planning etc. A nun, in her late eighties, who used to teach in the school and who calls in every year to meet the new staff arrived at lunch time. She came up to me and asked me who I was and I introduced myself. She was hard of hearing and turned her cheek and lifted her face towards me...

However, after just returning from a few weeks in France, where it's custom to kiss the person you're greeting, I forgot myself and instead of speaking up for her to hear me I planted a kiss on her cheek. The moment of realisation as my lips touched her skin was awful, my heart dropped...

I'm still not over it almost a year later!

Teeheehee... that's adorable!

--LOS-- · 07-07-2014 10:37PM

I can't think of any I did, must be blocking them out.

But when my aunt was dying of cancer, people naturally came by to visit her at her home. After she passed, a woman came by, she was chatting to my aunt's husband and asking where's "x"?. And he says oh she's just gone for a spin with the undertaker, she'll be back in a bit. The woman got some drop when the undertaker arrived back with the coffin

I've seen race cause some pretty awkward scenarios. I was getting in the lift one day, and this girl who was new and wanting to talk to everyone was there, along with another guy and girl waiting on the lift. So this girl is asking where we're all from. When the asian looking girl answers Germany, she is a bit confused :P She insists but you are chinese right, the girl says well you are half right, my mother is from China. And the girl goes on, ahhh but you look like your mother, the other girl answers not really no. But this girl just keeps digging and digging, saying things like you can always tell with the chinese babies. Mega awkward elevator ride

07-07-2014 10:40PM

--LOS-- wrote: »

I can't think of any I did, must be blocking them out.

But when my aunt was dying of cancer, people naturally came by to visit her at her home. After she passed, a woman came by, she was chatting to my aunt's husband and asking where's "x"?. And he says oh she's just gone for a spin with the undertaker, she'll be back in a bit. The woman got some drop when the undertaker arrived back with the coffin

I've seen race cause some pretty awkward scenarios. I was getting in the lift one day, and this girl was who new and wanting to talk to everyone was there, along with another guy and girl waiting on the lift. So this girl is asking where we're all from. When the asian looking girl answers Germany, she is a bit confused :P She insists but you are chinese right, the girl says well you are half right, my mother is from China. And the girl goes on, ahhh but you look like your mother, the other girl answers not really no. But this girl just keeps digging and digging, saying things like you can always tell with the chinese babies. Mega awkward elevator ride

Yeah that reminds me of one time I was on the train in germany. I'd struck up a conversation with another passenger (airport train) who spoke only english and told me he was from sweden, had a chat, whatever. A german lady sat in front of me then and checked with me (in german) that it was the airport train, yes.

Then she started making conversation with me in german, asking about the swedish lad. "Is he from africa? Is he flying home to africa? What do you mean Sweden, he's going to africa, right?" She turns around to him telling him, in mostly german, it must be very hot where he's from and so on. I found myself trying to be a polite translator -"oh she's asking about the weather..." -while also trying to disguise what she was saying
Jaysus!

Not "the" most awkward but it was pretty awkward

07-07-2014 10:43PM

I was blissfully unaware of "self harm" type stuff until a few years ago.

I worked with someone who I noticed one day had loads of parallel scars on the inside of his wrist.

In the canteen over lunch I saw the scars and was like "What the f*ck happened your arm?!". He got really embarrassed and just shrugged and pulled his sleeve down, but I wouldn't let it go. I was like a dog with a bone, I kept pressing him about what happened to him, until somebody changed the subject and I dropped it. When he got up to leave I was angrily brought up to speed about self-harm by my other colleagues, and I still worry about what effect my ignorance had on the poor guy's mental state even today.

Fox_In_Socks · 07-07-2014 10:45PM

--LOS-- wrote: »

I can't think of any I did, must be blocking them out.

I've seen race cause some pretty awkward scenarios. I was getting in the lift one day, and this girl who was new and wanting to talk to everyone was there, along with another guy and girl waiting on the lift. So this girl is asking where we're all from. When the asian looking girl answers Germany, she is a bit confused :P She insists but you are chinese right, the girl says well you are half right, my mother is from China. And the girl goes on, ahhh but you look like your mother, the other girl answers not really no. But this girl just keeps digging and digging, saying things like you can always tell with the chinese babies. Mega awkward elevator ride

But you can?

/dustball

Zamboni · 07-07-2014 10:50PM

A long time ago I used to hang around an ice rink (hence the username) and there was this lass who was well known by most as the local bike. Very obliging, if you will.
Anyway so months pass and I meet one of the lads I haven't seen in a long time. Having a skate around and having some awkward small talk when this same girl walks in. Looking for something to talk about, I mention in a laddish way about her being the local bike. He says "I've been with her for three months now".
We skated in silence for the next few seconds whilst I died.
I Muttered something about mixing up names with someone else and then scarpered :-P

Hotfail.com · 07-07-2014 10:51PM

Zamboni wrote: »

A long time ago I used to hang around an ice rink (hence the username) and there was this lass who was well known by most as the local bike. Very obliging, if you will.
Anyway so months pass and I meet one of the lads I haven't seen in a long time. Having a skate around and having some awkward small talk when this same girl walks in. Looking for something to talk about, I mention in a laddish way about her being the local bike. He says "I've been with her for three months now".
We skated in silence for the next few seconds whilst I died.
I Muttered something about mixing up names with someone else and then scarpered :-P

That's the kind of situation I'd just go nuts in and tell him about how much of a slut she is and get really offensive on purpose....

I'm a bit of a cúnt

It's not like he's going to forgive you anytime soon anyway :pac:

PizzamanIRL · 07-07-2014 10:53PM

Walking past someone you know.

Person: Well.
Me: Well, not too bad thanks.

I'm used to hearing 'how are ya' or 'how's it going?' coming after 'Well'

Maphisto · 07-07-2014 10:55PM

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Meeting a girls family for the first time, and her for the second time in her kitchen, with her five older brothers and her parents, four days after I learned she was five months pregnant with my now son.

Least they were sound about it

Edited for clarity.

It was the second time you'd met her, but she was 5 months pregnant?

Hotfail.com wrote: »

I'm confused.

"Your son's family"? "Her kitchen?"

Me too

major bill · 07-07-2014 10:56PM

Sitting in a pub on a stool, I leaned back to put my hand on another stool, so i am flaking out thinking this is a comfy stool rubbing me hand up and down it only for the thing to move and I go flying.....it wasn't a stool at all it was some random blokes leg

Mortified!!!

dj jarvis · 07-07-2014 10:58PM

dont know if socially awkward , but funking awkward none the less.

My brother in law on a booze cruise from Finland to Sweden , him and a mate , they got a bunk bed cabin , the brother in law calls it a night and goes to bed,

wakes up , to the sound on his mate banging some girl on the bunk under him, so listening to this and thinking " **** this ****" , he heard a huge commotion and cursing , swift exit of drunk girl , and his mate sitting on the floor shouting "WTF"

turns out , he was going doggy style , when she got a dose of the Trotskys , shat all over him , and he promptly puked all over her back , hilarity ensued.

i would say that's fairly funking awkward :eek:

JaMarcusHustle · 07-07-2014 10:59PM

When our boss announced to our small team of 5 that she was pregnant. They rest of them all said congratulations in unison, but for some reason I chose to say "well done" and at a slight delay too so everyone could hear it.

I always get caught in between 2 things I want to say too, like after an important presentation to a client where instead of saying "take care" or "all the best", I said "take the best". Would have been tolerable had I got away with it, but one of them asked me what I meant. I had to explain to 3 important clients in front of our department president that I meant to say one of 2 things and said neither.

There was also the time on a school trip in Strasbourg when I was going through a hip hop phase and we found a store that sold some branded clothing you'd never get over here. I spent like 60 quid and handed in two fifties to pay. Completely forgot I was due change, so when he handed me back 40 euro I thought he was giving me a huge discount and I was delighted. "No way man, ah that's brilliant thanks so much". I reached in over the counter for a handshake too. He didn't have a clue what I was on. Friends nearly pissed themselves laughing at me.

Worst of all was having to buy a pregnancy test in a pharmacy years ago for my then GF who was too shy/scared. I lurked and loitered until the till was free and no other customers were around. I quickly walked up, put the test down on the counter and got my wallet ready. The woman asked me quiet loudly (not being a bitch, it was just her natural volume) was I sure that's what I wanted. I said yes. People were now queuing behind me. She then said "are you looking for a home pregnancy test?" and I nodded. She announced "okay, this is an ovulation test, it's not what you're after. Hold on and I'll get you the right one." I was left standing there for about 2 or 3 hour-long minutes while she got the right test. I could here people trying to withhold laughing behind me, like you do with mates when you shouldn't laugh at an inappropriate moment.

07-07-2014 11:00PM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Was she good though? :cool:

Id say he hadnt felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored for Scotland against Holland in 1978

LaHaine · 07-07-2014 11:00PM

Call from bank: "Can I speak to Lahaine please?"

me: "This is he"

...smooth

Tokyo · 07-07-2014 11:02PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Id say he hadnt felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored for Scotland against Holland in 1978

Was wondering when the Trainspotting reference would come

Maphisto · 07-07-2014 11:02PM

mike_ie wrote: »

I know, right...? I was standing in the hallway in my jocks when I met her old man. It was like the scene at the end of "The Usual Suspects" when the oh-so-many clues fall into place and they figure out that Kevin Spacey is, in fact, Keyser Soze...

I immediately thought Trainspotting;)

Snap

--LOS-- · 07-07-2014 11:05PM

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

But you can?

/dustball

But I said I couldn't think of any about me, those are about other people, what are you missing here!

I'm sure I've done loads, you'd have to ask other people though

07-07-2014 11:09PM

LaHaine wrote: »

Call from bank: "Can I speak to Lahaine please?"

me: "This is he"

...smooth

That's correct... unless you're a she...

Cerveja69 · 07-07-2014 11:10PM

JaMarcusHustle wrote: »

When our boss announced to our small team of 5 that she was pregnant. They rest of them all said congratulations in unison, but for some reason I chose to say "well done" and at a slight delay too so everyone could hear it.

I always get caught in between 2 things I want to say too, like after an important presentation to a client where instead of saying "take care" or "all the best", I said "take the best". Would have been tolerable had I got away with it, but one of them asked me what I meant. I had to explain to 3 important clients in front of our department president that I meant to say one of 2 things and said neither.

There was also the time on a school trip in Strasbourg when I was going through a hip hop phase and we found a store that sold some branded clothing you'd never get over here. I spent like 60 quid and handed in two fifties to pay. Completely forgot I was due change, so when he handed me back 40 euro I thought he was giving me a huge discount and I was delighted. "No way man, ah that's brilliant thanks so much". I reached in over the counter for a handshake too. He didn't have a clue what I was on. Friends nearly pissed themselves laughing at me.

Worst of all was having to buy a pregnancy test in a pharmacy years ago for my then GF who was too shy/scared. I lurked and loitered until the till was free and no other customers were around. I quickly walked up, put the test down on the counter and got my wallet ready. The woman asked me quiet loudly (not being a bitch, it was just her natural volume) was I sure that's what I wanted. I said yes. People were now queuing behind me. She then said "are you looking for a home pregnancy test?" and I nodded. She announced "okay, this is an ovulation test, it's not what you're after. Hold on and I'll get you the right one." I was left standing there for about 2 or 3 hour-long minutes while she got the right test. I could here people trying to withhold laughing behind me, like you do with mates when you shouldn't laugh at an inappropriate moment.

Keep 'em coming....

The most socially awkward moment of your life?

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