The most socially awkward moment of your life?

Hotfail.com

Don't you just hate those moments where you know you've made a big social boo-boo and feel like a complete fool? I've had quite a few... Worst one...

A few years ago on Christmas Eve me and my family were doing a bit of Christmas shopping in the local Supervalu. My Mam told me to bring the food out to the car in the trolley so I walked out towards the door and the owner, who's friends with my mother, stopped me and offered me a handshake and said "Happy Christmas!", and instead of just saying "Many happy returns!" or whatever stupid me decided to just say "No." really bluntly and ignore the handshake and go out to the car..:o Looking back on it I'd say he thought I was mad autistic or something....

This one isn't really a socially awkward moment and it's not about me but it's so cringey that I think it's worth telling... When I was in hospital when I was about 6 maybe, my grandmother said "Where's your arm love?" to a girl who she thought was only keeping their arm in their sleeve like some kids do... Turns out she was born without one I would actually faint if I said something that bad :pac:

Have you any bad ones AH? Mine don't sound half as bad as they were when they're put in words :rolleyes:

jubella

Not a big one, but happens far too often for me.

Me: Hi, how are you?
Person 1: Good thanks, how are you?
Me: I'm great, how are you?
Person 1: .......

happy birthday

thanks, you too!

A Greedy Algorithm

I was out walking through the local fields one night. It was dark and i needed to urinate so i pulled down my trousers and out of nowhere a sheep decided to back into me placing its rear directly in line with my manhood.

The farmer came along to see what all the noise was and as you can imagine, it didn't look to good.

Lingua Franca

"Oh wow, you're getting big! When's it due?"

"...She's 6 weeks old now."

Mr. Incognito

Meeting a girls family for the first time, and her for the second time in her kitchen, with her five older brothers and her parents, four days after I learned she was five months pregnant with my now son.

Least they were sound about it

Edited for clarity.

Tokyo

Waking up in the house of the twentysomething year old barmaid the morning after we'd hooked up in the bar that she worked in. Got up to use the bathroom only to find out that she was 18 and still lived with her dad....

BrokenArrows

mike_ie wrote: »

Waking up in the house of the twentysomething year old barmaid the morning after we'd hooked up in the bar that she worked in. Got up to use the bathroom only to find out that she was 18 and still lived with her dad....

Awkward

BrokenArrows

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Meeting my sons family for the first time, in her kitchen, with her five older brothers and her parents, four days after I learned she was five months pregnant.

Least they were sound about it

I don't get it?

Hotfail.com

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Meeting my sons family for the first time, in her kitchen, with her five older brothers and her parents, four days after I learned she was five months pregnant.

Least they were sound about it

I'm confused.

"Your son's family"? "Her kitchen?"

SEPT 23 1989

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Meeting my sons family for the first time, in her kitchen, with her five older brothers and her parents, four days after I learned she was five months pregnant.

Least they were sound about it

Your sons family??

Tokyo

BrokenArrows wrote: »

Awkward

That's an understatement. I was almost 30. She had graduated from high school a few months beforehand. And to top it off, her dad was president of the local gun club....

banie01

Walking my girlfriend(later wife) home and when she opened her front door she turned to kiss me goodnight and there behind her...
In the kitchen doorway at the end of the hall was her Mam on her knees giving her Da a bit of a treat
Queue my closing my eyes and refusing a cuppa cos I suddenly remembered I had homework to finish!!!
I've never wanted to unsee anything more in my life!!!!

Hotfail.com

mike_ie wrote: »

That's an understatement. I was almost 30. She had graduated from high school a few months beforehand. And to top it off, her dad was president of the local gun club....

Was she good though? :cool:

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

bb1234567

mike_ie wrote: »

Waking up in the house of the twentysomething year old barmaid the morning after we'd hooked up in the bar that she worked in. Got up to use the bathroom only to find out that she was 18 and still lived with her dad....

....what age are you...

Rocket19

banie01 wrote: »

Walking my girlfriend(later wife) home and when she opened her front door she turned to kiss me goodnight and there behind her...
In the kitchen doorway at the end of the hall was her Mam on her knees giving her Da a bit of a treat
Queue my closing my eyes and refusing a cuppa cos I suddenly remembered I had homework to finish!!!
I've never wanted to unsee anything more in my life!!!!

Actually lolled at this...hilarious!

Riddle101

Anytime i'm with a group of friends or people, and begin to talk but somebody cuts me off in mid speech. Then everybody starts talking about something else, and i'm just left sitting there lost for words, wondering if I should continue even though everybody else seems to have forgotten me. The longer I wait, the more harder it gets, and just end up saying "Forget it, it doesn't matter anymore".

Tokyo

bb1234567 wrote: »

....what age are you...

At the time just shy of 30.

mike_ie

mike_ie wrote: »

That's an understatement. I was almost 30. She had graduated from high school a few months beforehand. And to top it off, her dad was president of the local gun club....

You have some seriously funny stories

The Peanut

Many years ago, I linked up with a Dublin girl near the end of a lad's holiday in Turkey. I was rooming with 2 lads so we went back to her apt.

She mentioned she was rooming with her aunt but the aunt was on an overnight tour. Grand. Got to sleep about 7 and got up to leave about 1. Having coffee and her aunt returned.

Her young aunt; only 9 years older that I had scored with during my first week and then avoided for the remainder of the holiday. Time stopped. Priceless now that I think about it.

Tokyo

bluewolf wrote: »

You have some seriously funny stories

The plaid uniform still hanging at the back of the door should have triggered a red alert....

mike_ie

mike_ie wrote: »

The plaid uniform still hanging at the back of the door should have triggered a red alert....

Ohhhhh so many jokes

House of Blaze

The worst one I remember comes from when I was about 16 years old and had just started hanging around with a big group of people.

We were all hanging around the estate waiting for people to get ready for a party we were all heading to, when the girls all came out in a big group, all dolled up to the nines as you do.

I was looking over all the girls all dolled up and looking well, and this one girl , who I actually got on pretty well with, I noticed wasn't quite as made up as the others.

She was wearing the glad rags and all that and was always pretty heavy on the make up but her hair was just same as it ever was.

Short enough and tied into a bit of a ponytail at the back. The rest of the girls had all put it up or done whatever with it but hers was just the usual.

So It occurred to me that I'd never seen her with anything down to hair so I asked her "Hey, xxxx, how come you never do anything with your hair?"

Everyone present immediately froze in place. A noticeable intake of breath from the group.

She stared at me with her eyes starting to water and her lower lip trembling for a few seconds before turning and running full speed away back to her house in a flood of tears.

I of course was totally dumfounded until one of the lads turned around and informed me that the girl in question actually had alopecia, and that her hair was in fact a wig.

I was f**king mortified.

Dave0301

Got called back for a 2nd interview for quite a decent job. In reception I was met by the person who I had previously interviewed with a few weeks prior.

They greeted me with " Hi Dave, good to see you again."

My response "Hello, it is great to meet you." I said this despite knowing it was the same person!!

No wonder I didn't get the job.

Hotfail.com

House of Blaze wrote: »

The worst one I remember comes from when I was about 16 years old and had just started hanging around with a big group of people.

We were all hanging around the estate waiting for people to get ready for a party we were all heading to, when the girls all came out in a big group, all dolled up to the nines as you do.

I was looking over all the girls all dolled up and looking well, and this one girl , who I actually got on pretty well with, I noticed wasn't quite as made up as the others.

She was wearing the glad rags and all that and was always pretty heavy on the make up but her hair was just same as it ever was.

Short enough and tied into a bit of a ponytail at the back. The rest of the girls had all put it up or done whatever with it but hers was just the usual.

So It occurred to me that I'd never seen her with anything down to hair so I asked her "Hey, xxxx, how come you never do anything with your hair?"

Everyone present immediately froze in place. A noticeable intake of breath from the group.

She stared at me with her eyes starting to water and her lower lip trembling for a few seconds before turning and running full speed away back to her house in a flood of tears.

I of course was totally dumfounded until one of the lads turned around and informed me that the girl in question actually had alopecia, and that her hair was in fact a wig.

I was f**king mortified.

Ah Christ I was cringing at the end of that :pac:

strobe

Worked in a big frozen food warehouse for a while, tough job but awesome 'cause it made me feel like I was some 19th century Arctic explorer. And I was asked to help out in another section, where they wrapped the pallets of stuff we got from the freezer in cling film and loaded it onto the waiting trucks. Anyway, was there about 30 mins or so, cling filming pallets with a big roll of the stuff, when one of the oul lads that worked there walked towards me and said "here" and stuck his hand out. So naturally I figured he was shaking hands with the new guy and grabbed a hold and started shaking, he just looks at me and says "no, give me the roll" so I just for some unknown reason kept smiling and shaking his hand. He had to wrest his hand from mine and say "the cling film, can I have it?", so I says "yeah, sure" but don't hand it to him, just stand there staring at him. So he gives me this look for a second and turns and walks away. So I call after him "cling film..." (I meant to say, "Why yes, of course you can have the roll of cling film, here you go"). He kept looking back at me like, I think, he presumed (understandably so) that I was a bit simple.


Think the cold temperatures did something weird to my brain in that place, that wasn't the only incident.

MarkR

Picture the scene. Crappy sub-like school bus on the way in one cold winter morning. This was before the whole "maximum occupancy" thing, so it was wedged. 3 on every seat, and the aisles packed. I'm somewhere in the middle of the aisle. And me, with a cold. I felt a sneeze building. No biggie, you've trained for this. Cover my face with my hands (a gentleman, even then!). Loud sneeze, and a lower my hand. Which is still connected to my nose. By a snot.

http://www.puff.com/forums/vb/attachments/general-cigar-discussion/21186d1222192128-smoking-stogies-sinuses-snotty.gif

Did the only thing I could do. Wiped it off my bag. Those nearby were not amused.

Tokyo

bluewolf wrote: »

Ohhhhh so many jokes

I know, right...? I was standing in the hallway in my jocks when I met her old man. It was like the scene at the end of "The Usual Suspects" when the oh-so-many clues fall into place and they figure out that Kevin Spacey is, in fact, Keyser Soze...

House of Blaze

strobe wrote: »

Worked in a big frozen food warehouse for a while, tough job but awesome 'cause it made me feel like I was some 19th century Arctic explorer. And I was asked to help out in another section, where they wrapped the pallets of stuff we got from the freezer in cling film and loaded it onto the waiting trucks. Anyway, was there about 30 mins or so, cling filming pallets with a big roll of the stuff, when one of the oul lads that worked there walked towards me and said "here" and stuck his hand out. So naturally I figured he was shaking hands with the new guy and grabbed a hold and started shaking, he just looks at me and says "no, give me the roll" so I just for some unknown reason kept smiling and shaking his hand. He had to wrest his hand from mine and say "the cling film, can I have it?", so I says "yeah, sure" but don't hand it to him, just stand there staring at him. So he gives me this look for a second and turns and walks away. So I call after him "cling film..." (I meant to say, "Why yes, of course you can have the roll of cling film, here you go"). He kept looking back at me like, I think, he presumed (understandably so) that I was a bit simple.


Think the cold temperatures did something weird to my brain in that place, that wasn't the only incident.

That's brilliant!

Pat Mustard

Was on a school exchange thing when I was a kid. I was staying in Germany with this German kid and his parents.

One day the German lad walks into my room with a big triumphant grin on his face. He was holding a porno mag that he had found hidden in the bathroom. He asked if it was mine. Nope, it wasn't. Cue the sudden mutual realisation that it belonged to his old man. It was pretty awkward at first, but it was pretty funny when he had to backtrack sheepishly out of that one.

We didn't speak about that again.

Conall Cernach

Early 1991 I was going out with a girl from Portmarnock and she was introducing me to her parents for the first time. Ireland were playing England at Wembley and we were running a bit late for the match on the tv so arrived at her house about 15 or 20 minutes into the match. Her brother opened the door and said "One nil to Ireland" and I went "YESSSSSSSS" only for him to say "only messing, one nil to England." I then had to sit in her living room with her aul boy with a face like thunder at the Nordie coming in celebrating England scoring.

fleet_admiral

mike_ie wrote: »

The plaid uniform still hanging at the back of the door should have triggered a red alert....

you should have got her to wear it

Tokyo

fleet_admiral wrote: »

you should have got her to wear it

Waits patiently for the thread titled "The most socially awesome moment of your life"....

Cerveja69

A few years ago I went to the hairdresser and dyed my blonde hair brown. Afterwards, I went into Bewleys cafe to have a coffee. I was walking up the stairs when this girl stepped out in front of me. She looked really familiar. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

I stepped to the left to let her pass but she stupidly also stepped to the left. I then stepped to the right but so did she. What's this girls problem, I was thinking when I heard sniggering coming from the dining hall next to me. It then dawned on me that there was a mirror at the top of the stairs and I'd been trying to step out of my refections way!

I was so mortified I legged it down the stairs and ran away!

House of Blaze

Another bad one I remember started out on the Luas.

Me and a mate of mine got on the luas heading back into town one day, all the seats were taken and so we were standing holding the vertical rail near the door but it wasn't packed or anything.

Anyway this couple get on and are standing there next to us in the middle, and i'm standing there with one hand in my pocket and the other holding the rail.

So im just standing there with my friend and the couple just gliding along all grand, the girl in the couple starts looking for something in her handbag anyway and not holding on to the rail at some point.

I'm just kind of staring out the window or whatever when there is suddenly an abrupt halt as the Luas brakes hard.

So an instant after this my hand has shot out of my pocket to try and steady the girl looking through her handbag.

Only whatever way my hand has tried to come out of my pocket, it kind of got stuck for a split second before springing out of my pocket with much more force than I had intended.

Also, whatever awkward way my hand is catapulted out of my pocket ends up with me essentially jabbing her straight in the breast out of nowhere, almost knocking her over.

Of course, the girl and her boyfriend just sort of looked at me really funny. I think they probably knew that I was trying to steady her but didn't know quite what to make of the result.

The guy especially was not pleased.

Anyway, I mumbled 'sorry' and made my way down to next carriage burning away with the scarleh while my mate wet himself laughing..

Shane-KornSpace

Y'know the pedestrian crossing at O'Connell Bridge, going on to O'Connell Street?
Y'know how there's always a crowd of people waiting to cross?
Well the green Man lit up and I crossed.

I Kicked the ****ing curb fell flat on me face. Queue a load of people breaking ****es laughing at me!

El Weirdo

mike_ie wrote: »

The plaid uniform still hanging at the back of the door should have triggered a red alert....

Is that what they call it nowadays?

trashcan

mike_ie wrote: »

they figure out that Kevin Spacey is, in fact, Keyser Soze...

Whaaaatttt - Nooooooo. You've ruined it on me now :mad: (;))

corner of hells

Cerveja69 wrote: »

A few years ago I went to the hairdresser and dyed my blonde hair brown. Afterwards, I went into Bewleys cafe to have a coffee. I was walking up the stairs when this girl stepped out in front of me. She looked really familiar. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

I stepped to the left to let her pass but she stupidly also stepped to the left. I then stepped to the right but so did she. What's this girls problem, I was thinking when I heard sniggering coming from the dining hall next to me. It then dawned on me that there was a mirror at the top of the stairs and I'd been trying to step out of my refections way!

I was so mortified I legged it down the stairs and ran away!

I'm pretty certain this is Mrs Corner.

unknowngirl!!

In September I started in a new school as a French teacher. In August we had staff meetings and planning etc. A nun, in her late eighties, who used to teach in the school and who calls in every year to meet the new staff arrived at lunch time. She came up to me and asked me who I was and I introduced myself. She was hard of hearing and turned her cheek and lifted her face towards me...

However, after just returning from a few weeks in France, where it's custom to kiss the person you're greeting, I forgot myself and instead of speaking up for her to hear me I planted a kiss on her cheek. The moment of realisation as my lips touched her skin was awful, my heart dropped...

I'm still not over it almost a year later!

Foleymoley

A couple of years ago my brother in law was sitting in a car with his mates outside one of their houses. He turns to his mate and says "go in and ask ur sister has she any good cd's" needless to say his mate wasnt impressed as his sister is deaf. He totally forgot. 😀

Cerveja69

unknowngirl!! wrote: »

In September I started in a new school as a French teacher. In August we had staff meetings and planning etc. A nun, in her late eighties, who used to teach in the school and who calls in every year to meet the new staff arrived at lunch time. She came up to me and asked me who I was and I introduced myself. She was hard of hearing and turned her cheek and lifted her face towards me...

However, after just returning from a few weeks in France, where it's custom to kiss the person you're greeting, I forgot myself and instead of speaking up for her to hear me I planted a kiss on her cheek. The moment of realisation as my lips touched her skin was awful, my heart dropped...

I'm still not over it almost a year later!

Teeheehee... that's adorable!

--LOS--

I can't think of any I did, must be blocking them out.


But when my aunt was dying of cancer, people naturally came by to visit her at her home. After she passed, a woman came by, she was chatting to my aunt's husband and asking where's "x"?. And he says oh she's just gone for a spin with the undertaker, she'll be back in a bit. The woman got some drop when the undertaker arrived back with the coffin


I've seen race cause some pretty awkward scenarios. I was getting in the lift one day, and this girl who was new and wanting to talk to everyone was there, along with another guy and girl waiting on the lift. So this girl is asking where we're all from. When the asian looking girl answers Germany, she is a bit confused :P She insists but you are chinese right, the girl says well you are half right, my mother is from China. And the girl goes on, ahhh but you look like your mother, the other girl answers not really no. But this girl just keeps digging and digging, saying things like you can always tell with the chinese babies. Mega awkward elevator ride

--LOS--

--LOS-- wrote: »

I can't think of any I did, must be blocking them out.


But when my aunt was dying of cancer, people naturally came by to visit her at her home. After she passed, a woman came by, she was chatting to my aunt's husband and asking where's "x"?. And he says oh she's just gone for a spin with the undertaker, she'll be back in a bit. The woman got some drop when the undertaker arrived back with the coffin


I've seen race cause some pretty awkward scenarios. I was getting in the lift one day, and this girl was who new and wanting to talk to everyone was there, along with another guy and girl waiting on the lift. So this girl is asking where we're all from. When the asian looking girl answers Germany, she is a bit confused :P She insists but you are chinese right, the girl says well you are half right, my mother is from China. And the girl goes on, ahhh but you look like your mother, the other girl answers not really no. But this girl just keeps digging and digging, saying things like you can always tell with the chinese babies. Mega awkward elevator ride

Yeah that reminds me of one time I was on the train in germany. I'd struck up a conversation with another passenger (airport train) who spoke only english and told me he was from sweden, had a chat, whatever. A german lady sat in front of me then and checked with me (in german) that it was the airport train, yes.

Then she started making conversation with me in german, asking about the swedish lad. "Is he from africa? Is he flying home to africa? What do you mean Sweden, he's going to africa, right?" She turns around to him telling him, in mostly german, it must be very hot where he's from and so on. I found myself trying to be a polite translator -"oh she's asking about the weather..." -while also trying to disguise what she was saying
Jaysus!

Not "the" most awkward but it was pretty awkward

I was blissfully unaware of "self harm" type stuff until a few years ago.

I worked with someone who I noticed one day had loads of parallel scars on the inside of his wrist.

In the canteen over lunch I saw the scars and was like "What the f*ck happened your arm?!". He got really embarrassed and just shrugged and pulled his sleeve down, but I wouldn't let it go. I was like a dog with a bone, I kept pressing him about what happened to him, until somebody changed the subject and I dropped it. When he got up to leave I was angrily brought up to speed about self-harm by my other colleagues, and I still worry about what effect my ignorance had on the poor guy's mental state even today.

Fox_In_Socks

--LOS-- wrote: »

I can't think of any I did, must be blocking them out.


I've seen race cause some pretty awkward scenarios. I was getting in the lift one day, and this girl who was new and wanting to talk to everyone was there, along with another guy and girl waiting on the lift. So this girl is asking where we're all from. When the asian looking girl answers Germany, she is a bit confused :P She insists but you are chinese right, the girl says well you are half right, my mother is from China. And the girl goes on, ahhh but you look like your mother, the other girl answers not really no. But this girl just keeps digging and digging, saying things like you can always tell with the chinese babies. Mega awkward elevator ride

But you can?












/dustball

Zamboni

A long time ago I used to hang around an ice rink (hence the username) and there was this lass who was well known by most as the local bike. Very obliging, if you will.
Anyway so months pass and I meet one of the lads I haven't seen in a long time. Having a skate around and having some awkward small talk when this same girl walks in. Looking for something to talk about, I mention in a laddish way about her being the local bike. He says "I've been with her for three months now".
We skated in silence for the next few seconds whilst I died.
I Muttered something about mixing up names with someone else and then scarpered :-P

Hotfail.com

Zamboni wrote: »

A long time ago I used to hang around an ice rink (hence the username) and there was this lass who was well known by most as the local bike. Very obliging, if you will.
Anyway so months pass and I meet one of the lads I haven't seen in a long time. Having a skate around and having some awkward small talk when this same girl walks in. Looking for something to talk about, I mention in a laddish way about her being the local bike. He says "I've been with her for three months now".
We skated in silence for the next few seconds whilst I died.
I Muttered something about mixing up names with someone else and then scarpered :-P

That's the kind of situation I'd just go nuts in and tell him about how much of a slut she is and get really offensive on purpose.... I'm a bit of a cúnt It's not like he's going to forgive you anytime soon anyway :pac:

PizzamanIRL

Walking past someone you know.

Person: Well.
Me: Well, not too bad thanks.

I'm used to hearing 'how are ya' or 'how's it going?' coming after 'Well'

Maphisto

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Meeting a girls family for the first time, and her for the second time in her kitchen, with her five older brothers and her parents, four days after I learned she was five months pregnant with my now son.

Least they were sound about it

Edited for clarity.

It was the second time you'd met her, but she was 5 months pregnant?

Hotfail.com wrote: »

I'm confused.

"Your son's family"? "Her kitchen?"

Me too