People who think they're brilliant with the opposite sex when they really aren't....

Lou.m · 06-07-2014 09:02PM

I don't think there is such a thing as being good with the opposite sex.

There are just people who are good together. Chemistry or whatever.

Sexy feelings between ya.

If you are good with people and understand them and care about them that helps.

And being attractive helps.

But yeah usually people who actually think this is a ' thing ' are just not very aware and yes have led very sheltered lives.

They get to 35 and still have never had a long term relationship.

I know girls who think any guy who does something nice for them fancies them. And guys who think antics impress women.

Shock horror ...being a nice person being happy with yourself and kind to the other person helps !! But you also need the chemistry.

And you can't be good at it ....just let it happen...love is easier if you believe in it. And you don't have a chance at true love if you don't believe in it.

Day Lewin · 06-07-2014 09:49PM

@Lou.m - I would respectfully beg to disagree

Social norms of behaviour are subtle, and not at all as visible to some people as to others.
It is possible to suffer for years with loneliness and failure, just for want of being taught some simple rules.
They are really not apparent to everyone, although those who have the gift of social confidence are usually unaware of this fact: they may think that the behaviour is inherent or "natural", they may deny that there are any rules, they may blithely recommend "being yourself"; but to a person who is socially clumsy, gauche and unsuccessful, being taught the rules - and most acceptable customary practices - can make a world of difference. #voiceofexperience

- and can certainly make a HUGE difference to one's success rating with the opposite sex!

Daveysil15 · 06-07-2014 09:59PM

Lou.m wrote: »

But yeah usually people who actually think this is a ' thing ' are just not very aware and yes have led very sheltered lives.

katemarch wrote: »

but to a person who is socially clumsy, gauche and unsuccessful, being taught the rules - and most acceptable customary practices - can make a world of difference. #voiceofexperience

Or... maybe they just haven't met anyone compatible. Not everyone who has been single for a long time has a problem that they need to work on. A lot of it can be just down to bad luck.

Fat Christy · 06-07-2014 10:01PM

:cool:

Fat Christy · 06-07-2014 10:09PM

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

Meh, I guess until you've been with a women you'll find it very hard to separate politeness/friendliness from flirtatiousness.

Ah come on, I've been best friends with 2 guys since I was 13 and I didn't get into a relationship until I was 19. You don't have to get with someone to know the difference between flirting and friendliness.

Lou.m · 06-07-2014 10:26PM

Louis108 wrote: »

Sweet Jesus, how can anyone think "there is no such thing as being good with the opposite sex"?

It is blatantly obviously some people are better at flirting with and attracting the opposite sex. It's a skill that you can get better at.

No they aren't. And no you can't.

You are who you are. And it is YOU that someone will truly feel for.

You can be good with people and you can be a nice person. That will by default make you better with the opposite sex.

Believe it or not flirting is 1% of being 'good with the opposite sex'.

Most flirting is done WITHIN a relationship..not to start one.

If someone is responding to flirting they are responding to the person doing it.

Anyone who uses the term success rating with the opposite sex has issues quite frankly.

Believing in true love really DOES make love easier.

And agreed Daveysil15 a lot of singles have NOTHING wrong with them.

Really being a nice kind confident and happy person is the best you can do.

humberklog · 06-07-2014 10:29PM

Woohoo! It's gotta be the school summer holidays!

Louis108 · 06-07-2014 10:32PM

Lou.m wrote: »

No they aren't. And no you can't.

You are who you are. And it is YOU that someone will truly feel for.

You can be good with people and you can be a nice person. That will by default make you better with the opposite sex.

Believe it or not flirting is 1% of being 'good with the opposite sex'.

Most flirting is done WITHIN a relationship..not to start one.

If someone is responding to flirting they are responding to the person doing it.

Anyone who uses the term success rating with the opposite sex has issues quite frankly.

Believing in true love really DOES make love easier.

And agreed Daveysil15 a lot of singles have NOTHING wrong with them.

Really being a nice kind confident and happy person is the best you can do.

You're living in cloud cuckoo land.

Some people are just better at attracting the opposite sex, they say the right things, they have the right body language, they read signals well etc.

PS What the fup is up with your weird paragraphs?

wretcheddomain · 06-07-2014 10:34PM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

I know a guy who thinks every single girl he ever comes across wants to get in his pants, I actually feel embarrassed for him

You know anyone like this AH?

You're probably describing yourself OP, did you forget what you chose as your username by the way? :rolleyes: That pretty much gave it away.

Yurt · 06-07-2014 10:37PM

Lou.m wrote: »

No they aren't. And no you can't.

You are who you are. And it is YOU that someone will truly feel for.

You can be good with people and you can be a nice person. That will by default make you better with the opposite sex.

Believe it or not flirting is 1% of being 'good with the opposite sex'.

Most flirting is done WITHIN a relationship..not to start one.

If someone is responding to flirting they are responding to the person doing it.

Anyone who uses the term success rating with the opposite sex has issues quite frankly.

Believing in true love really DOES make love easier.

And agreed Daveysil15 a lot of singles have NOTHING wrong with them.

Really being a nice kind confident and happy person is the best you can do.

Thats cute...

PS what's with the paragraphs

Fat Christy · 06-07-2014 10:45PM

wretcheddomain wrote: »

You're probably describing yourself OP, did you forget what you chose as your username by the way? :rolleyes: That pretty much gave it away.

I don't think so. I can safely say, Hotfail does not fit into the category he describes. :cool:

Czarcasm · 06-07-2014 10:59PM

Louis108 wrote: »

PS What the fup is up with your weird paragraphs?

Yurt wrote: »

PS what's with the paragraphs

What's

wrong

with

Lou's

paragraphs?

I

can

read

them

easily.

OP I've known plenty of guys like your friend, and I've known plenty of guys who laughed at them, while not realizing that's really all the person wanted - somebody to notice them, didn't matter what their reaction.

Simply stop giving your friend attention for his stupidity and he'll cop himself on...

eventually.

Chancer3001 · 06-07-2014 11:20PM

Lou is living in dream land.

Even the guy with 5 posts knows what's up

Lou.m · 06-07-2014 11:28PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

What's

wrong

with

Lou's

paragraphs?

I

can

read

them

easily.

OP I've known plenty of guys like your friend, and I've known plenty of guys who laughed at them, while not realizing that's really all the person wanted - somebody to notice them, didn't matter what their reaction.

Simply stop giving your friend attention for his stupidity and he'll cop himself on...

eventually.

Awh thanks ...

From now one know that I will write them that way for you.

:)

Oi you two..
Louis108 Yurt ...cranky pants

PEACE and chill.

I have a differing opinion to you both and it stands. You are free to disagree of course. You would do in graciously if you had enough confidence in your opinions and conviction that they would stand up without pettiness.

Flirting is 1 % of how you get into a relationship ..I really think that people have to be good with PEOPLE in general and relationships (like with family and friends) and have good emotional intelligence and vast life experience to draw on.

You can't read that. Or improve on it in a few weeks. It takes life to teach you how to be good at some things. The short cuts of self help mumbo jumbo will end up making the journey longer.

Chancer3001 · 06-07-2014 11:30PM

Reading posts like that makes me feel smug.

I have a big smug head on me right now.

Lou.m · 06-07-2014 11:31PM

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Lou is living in fairyland.

Even the guy with 5 posts knows what's up

Fixed your post.

FAIRYLAND

AND DON'T F**K WITH FAIRIES MOTHE****ERS.....

SH*T gets sparkly

Chancer3001 · 06-07-2014 11:33PM

Ok.....

Lou.m · 06-07-2014 11:38PM

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Ok.....

You want some sparkle with that OK?????

lertsnim · 06-07-2014 11:43PM

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

Reminds me of this Boardsie:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?=743264506

I got a login page. Who is it?

Lou.m · 06-07-2014 11:44PM

lertsnim wrote: »

I got a login page. Who is it?

Login in to your facebook to see....

It is all of us...poetic ...IT IS ALL OF US

WOW..... that is like ...deep

Frank Lee Midere · 06-07-2014 11:46PM

Lou.m wrote: »

Login in to your facebook to see....

It is all of us...poetic ...IT IS ALL OF US

WOW..... that is like ...deep

I'm just getting you?

job seeker · 06-07-2014 11:47PM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

I know a guy who thinks every single girl he ever comes across wants to get in his pants, I actually feel embarrassed for him whenever he starts to talk about stuff like that but he's so oblivious to the reality that I just can't help but laugh.. I wouldn't mind, but he's about 15 stone and smells like sweat most of the time :pac: He's come out with some absolute classics to me as well, obviously bullsh*t though..

I was in Dublin at the weekend and these girls kept coming up to me and saying "I want you" (keep in mind he was there on a weekend break with his mother and little sister...)
When I was in the train station earlier this girl sat across from me and spread her legs, I'm too good for her though.
*After buying something in the shop* That girl at the cashier touched my hand when I handed her my money, I think I'll get the shift later.

He also thinks any girl looking in his direction is frothing for him. It would be really annoying if it wasn't cringe The thing that makes it as bad as it is is that he's 19 and I know for a fact he's never have a girlfriend.... :rolleyes:

Now that I look back on it maybe you just had to be there to get how annoying/funny it was but fúck it..

You know anyone like this AH?

But first let me take a selfie

Lou.m · 06-07-2014 11:49PM

Frank Lee Midere wrote: »

I'm just getting you?

Finally somebody gets me.

Bafucin · 06-07-2014 11:54PM

Gannicus wrote: »

I'll go one better OP.

Most of my mates (in one of my social circles) sit there telling rape and dead hooker jokes (or a combo of the two) till the cows come home and spend most of the night saying how they'd "bang the shít outta" girls they know and how "knee deep in gash" they're going to be at the end of the night if we head out.

When we go out and maybe one or two of them (and on the odd occasion myself) strike up a chat with a girl while the rest are huddled in a corner saying how we (the rest of us) "get so much ass". For the record we get very little, but we try.

Then to make matters worse, they then think its funny to tell girls either you have a gf (when I don't) or some sort of STI or they try and bring the girl home themselves at the end of the night thus wrecking it for the person who was actually chatting her up or trying to get her number.

What the actual f**k?

Bafucin · 07-07-2014 12:04AM

Being better with the opposite gender is not about trying to be better THAN the opposite gender, men and women mess themselves up that way.Anyway you can't be good with the whole female gender,only with the ones you click with, a whole gender is pretty vast and varied. Women are all different.

I have never met a guy who suddenly got better with all women or even a few women, I have met a fair few who ran with enough vivid stories so they might end up actually believing it.Generally it is situational or unusual.I work on gigs sometimes, roadies can get a lot of sloppy seconds, it does not mean they suddenly got better with women,take them out of that situation and they are no more likely. Quite the opposite infact because it was easier before. It was party time.

I dunno why some men think being good with women is an ego trip.

ChunkyLover54 · 07-07-2014 12:18AM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

I know a guy who thinks every single girl he ever comes across wants to get in his pants, I actually feel embarrassed for him whenever he starts to talk about stuff like that but he's so oblivious to the reality that I just can't help but laugh.. I wouldn't mind, but he's about 15 stone and smells like sweat most of the time :pac: He's come out with some absolute classics to me as well, obviously bullsh*t though..
I was in Dublin at the weekend and these girls kept coming up to me and saying "I want you" (keep in mind he was there on a weekend break with his mother and little sister...)
When I was in the train station earlier this girl sat across from me and spread her legs, I'm too good for her though.
*After buying something in the shop* That girl at the cashier touched my hand when I handed her my money, I think I'll get the shift later.

He also thinks any girl looking in his direction is frothing for him. It would be really annoying if it wasn't cringe The thing that makes it as bad as it is is that he's 19 and I know for a fact he's never have a girlfriend.... :rolleyes:

Now that I look back on it maybe you just had to be there to get how annoying/funny it was but fúck it..

You know anyone like this AH?

Sounds like he suffers from Male Sexual Overperception Bias - when a man misinterprets a woman's friendliness as romantic interest.

Lou.m · 07-07-2014 03:40AM

ChunkyLover54 wrote: »

Sounds like he suffers from Male Sexual Overperception Bias - when a man misinterprets a woman's friendliness as romantic interest.

I had never heard of that. That's long....

It's interesting because ..i think boyfriends feel it too...like I KNOW a guy is simply being friendly and likes my company as a friend ..but a boyfriend is like ...'you don't know the way men's heads work' ...and I KNOW i am not that guys type. But that we click on a friend level.

Males are more likely than females to commit sexual overperception bias, as evidenced by previous research. [4] Findings have found that men “overestimate women’s sexual interest” while women tend to “underestimate men’s interest”. [4] This is likely due to the fact that the reproductive costs of sexual underperception are greater for men than the risk of making false positives. [4] Men who perceive themselves as especially high in mate value are especially prone to experiencing this phenomenon. In addition, men who are also more inclined to pursue a short term mating strategy exhibit a more prominent case of sexual overperception bias

Women also fall victim to misconceptions during male-female interactions. Haselton and Buss (2000) advocate that these errors primarily stem from women’s perceived desire for a committed relationship by a male counterpart. [4] Women have evolved strategies to protect themselves from deception. One of these evolved strategies is to commit the skeptical commitment bias.The Skeptical commitment bias is an error management bias in which the gender fails to infer a psychological state that is there. Error management theory proposes that in this bias, women early in the courtship underestimate the amount of relational devotion and commitment a potential mate is willing to give. [4] For example, if a male gave a female flowers during courtship the recipient tends to underestimate the extent to which the flowers signal commitment in comparison to “Objective” outside observers. [2]:334 This bias functions to decrease the costs of being sexually deceived by men who fake commitment in order to attain casual sex. In a scenario-based study, Haselton and Buss supported their postulate that women should have a bias directed at type II rather than type I errors. [4]

Contrary to the sexual overperception bias, sexual underperception is brought on by the occurrence of a false negative [or type II error]. [4] Underperception is committed more often by women than men. The reasoning for this may be linked to reproductive costs. [4]

Evolutionarily speaking, sexual overperception is more costly than underperception.

So according to wiki (which is the fuc*ing bible umkay ;-)

Men overestimate how interested women are in them or men are more prone to this ...and women are prone to underestimate how interested a man is or be skeptical of him.

What a fascinating load of bollix....

No actually it is interesting I don't know if I believe it ...but yeah its interesting.

shane9689 · 07-07-2014 04:52AM

well, it correlates to my life experiences anyways....personally i feel theres merit in both arguments...that trying to heighten your social awareness is important...but also not overdoing it to the extent that you implement the opposite effect....need to be relaxed in socail sitaution but also aware......like any skill in life, practice!....but only perfect practice makes perfect....and be relaxed....like any skill, if youre too tense youll stress out and never learn it properly....life is just one big maths equation, so everything can be logically broken down and solved...but dont try solve it all at once, because its one massive maths equation

think i deviated abit....but yeah....your mate needs help building his confidence because he clearly has low self esteem...the only way to fix it is for him to actually act on these imaginary social scenarios

Lou.m · 07-07-2014 05:11AM

ANY EXCUSE FOR JIM CARREY AND WILL FERREL AND ...the other guy..poor other guy
JIM CARREY IS GENIUS

Lou.m · 07-07-2014 05:15AM

shane9689 wrote: »

well, it correlates to my life experiences anyways....personally i feel theres merit in both arguments...that trying to heighten your social awareness is important...but also not overdoing it to the extent that you implement the opposite effect....need to be relaxed in socail sitaution but also aware......like any skill in life, practice!....but only perfect practice makes perfect....and be relaxed....like any skill, if youre too tense youll stress out and never learn it properly....life is just one big maths equation, so everything can be logically broken down and solved...but dont try solve it all at once, because its one massive maths equation

think i deviated abit....but yeah....your mate needs help building his confidence because he clearly has low self esteem...the only way to fix it is for him to actually act on these imaginary social scenarios

WHAT ?

Just watch the Jim Carrey VID Dude. :cool:

People who think they're brilliant with the opposite sex when they really aren't....

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