People who think they're brilliant with the opposite sex when they really aren't....

Hotfail.com · 06-07-2014 06:39PM #1

I know a guy who thinks every single girl he ever comes across wants to get in his pants, I actually feel embarrassed for him whenever he starts to talk about stuff like that but he's so oblivious to the reality that I just can't help but laugh.. I wouldn't mind, but he's about 15 stone and smells like sweat most of the time :pac: He's come out with some absolute classics to me as well, obviously bullsh*t though..

I was in Dublin at the weekend and these girls kept coming up to me and saying "I want you" (keep in mind he was there on a weekend break with his mother and little sister...)

When I was in the train station earlier this girl sat across from me and spread her legs, I'm too good for her though.

*After buying something in the shop* That girl at the cashier touched my hand when I handed her my money, I think I'll get the shift later.
He also thinks any girl looking in his direction is frothing for him. It would be really annoying if it wasn't cringe

The thing that makes it as bad as it is is that he's 19 and I know for a fact he's never have a girlfriend.... :rolleyes:

Now that I look back on it maybe you just had to be there to get how annoying/funny it was but fúck it..

You know anyone like this AH?

Arthur Beesley · 06-07-2014 06:40PM

Jealous much?

You should take lessons from him, rather that dissing him. Shame on you.

Zed Bank · 06-07-2014 06:41PM

Maybe he's just messing? Lots of lads (including myself) make a joke about the lack of success with the women :O

Cantremember · 06-07-2014 06:42PM

Can't say I do. Know a fair few oul b****es though.

beano345 · 06-07-2014 06:42PM

Ha sounds like a fella I work with,even the getting the change handed back to him.he's in his forties and I reckon he's going through a mid life crisis,I swear this man cannot leave the house without unwanted female attention.funny thing is he makes it out like its some kind of affliction!

Hotfail.com · 06-07-2014 06:43PM

Zed Bank wrote: »

Maybe he's just messing? Lots of lads (including myself) make a joke about the lack of success with the women :O

It's not messing, if he was messing a bit of questioning wouldn't enrage him would it?

Daveysil15 · 06-07-2014 06:43PM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

You know anyone like this AH?

Yeah this guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t01uTnnhcw

urabell · 06-07-2014 06:43PM

It's funny how its the little things in life
That mean the most
Not where you live or what you drive
Or the price tag on your clothes
There's no dollar sign on peace of mind
This I've come to know

peekachoo · 06-07-2014 06:48PM

It's funny cause the attitudes you mentioned would repel most women than draw them in.
Or is it a reverse psychology thing. Maybe he's actually a genius.

Shakespeare's Sister · 06-07-2014 06:55PM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

The thing that makes it as bad as it is is that he's 19 and I know for a fact he's never have a girlfriend.... :rolleyes:

I thought you were gonna say he's 40 or something.

Gannicus · 06-07-2014 07:04PM

I'll go one better OP.

Most of my mates (in one of my social circles) sit there telling rape and dead hooker jokes (or a combo of the two) till the cows come home and spend most of the night saying how they'd "bang the shít outta" girls they know and how "knee deep in gash" they're going to be at the end of the night if we head out.

When we go out and maybe one or two of them (and on the odd occasion myself) strike up a chat with a girl while the rest are huddled in a corner saying how we (the rest of us) "get so much ass". For the record we get very little, but we try.

Then to make matters worse, they then think its funny to tell girls either you have a gf (when I don't) or some sort of STI or they try and bring the girl home themselves at the end of the night thus wrecking it for the person who was actually chatting her up or trying to get her number.

Hotfail.com · 06-07-2014 07:06PM

Gannicus wrote: »

I'll go one better OP.

Most of my mates (in one of my social circles) sit there telling rape and dead hooker jokes (or a combo of the two) till the cows come home and spend most of the night saying how they'd "bang the shít outta" girls they know and how "knee deep in gash" they're going to be at the end of the night if we head out.

When we go out and maybe one or two of them (and on the odd occasion myself) strike up a chat with a girl while the rest are huddled in a corner saying how we (the rest of us) "get so much ass". For the record we get very little, but we try.

Then to make matters worse, they then think its funny to tell girls either you have a gf (when I don't) or some sort of STI or they try and bring the girl home themselves at the end of the night thus wrecking it for the person who was actually chatting her up or trying to get her number.

They just sound like cúnts.:p

06-07-2014 07:07PM

Zed Bank wrote: »

Maybe he's just messing? Lots of lads (including myself) make a joke about the lack of success with the women :O

Yeah the one with the girl at a checkout counter sounds like what I would say. Usually I'd combine it with Mark from Peep Show and say that I know she's definitely the one.

Spunge · 06-07-2014 07:08PM

Gannicus wrote: »

how "knee deep in gash" they're going to be at the end of the night if

:pac::pac::pac:

Shakespeare's Sister · 06-07-2014 07:09PM

Gannicus wrote: »

I'll go one better OP.

Most of my mates (in one of my social circles) sit there telling rape and dead hooker jokes (or a combo of the two) till the cows come home and spend most of the night saying how they'd "bang the shít outta" girls they know and how "knee deep in gash" they're going to be at the end of the night if we head out.

When we go out and maybe one or two of them (and on the odd occasion myself) strike up a chat with a girl while the rest are huddled in a corner saying how we (the rest of us) "get so much ass". For the record we get very little, but we try.

Then to make matters worse, they then think its funny to tell girls either you have a gf (when I don't) or some sort of STI or they try and bring the girl home themselves at the end of the night thus wrecking it for the person who was actually chatting her up or trying to get her number.

They're definitely on Boards!

_Whimsical_ · 06-07-2014 07:15PM

Women do it too but are less sexually crude about it. I know a girl who thinks every man who makes eye contact with her is a "smitten kitten" for her...everyone who says hello or passes and acknowledges her is referenced later in the day as "aww he is such a skitter kitten ,it's so cute but I wouldn't go there". It must be a grand little bubble to exist in all the same though.

Gannicus · 06-07-2014 07:15PM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

They just sound like cúnts.:p

They're alright bar all of my previous post.

They grew up in very sheltered childhoods. Even to this day all in our late 20's they are still extremely wet behind the ear. Really its laughable until they think you're the subjet of the joke.

Magaggie wrote: »

They're definitely on Boards!

Close (ish) 4chan

Shakespeare's Sister · 06-07-2014 07:17PM

Gannicus wrote: »

Close (ish) 4chan

Not good.

I heard a girl say once that a guy "must be gay" because he wasn't interested in her. :pac:

DoozerT6 · 06-07-2014 07:19PM

OP, maybe your friend is very aware of his lack of success with women and is just trying to 'talk himself up.' He knows he's talking bull**** as much as you do.

magentis · 06-07-2014 07:28PM

Fair play to him.
At least he has a pair of balls.
There is a lot of guys out there that could do with his confidence

Riddle101 · 06-07-2014 07:37PM

Yep have a friend like that, or rather I did(Don't really talk to him anymore). But yeah he was one of those types alright. Making up stories about women and all, thinking he was all that with the ladies, even though he had a bad hygiene problem.

One story he told me was that he once had a girl in his room. He heard his mom coming up the stairs so he had her climb out the bedroom window and down a ladder. It was hilariously ridiculous, and we took the p*ss out of him for ages after that. Even made a song about it.

But that's just the tip of the ice berg about him. Guy is crazy. Once he stripped naked and walked into a takeaway and tried to order some food. He also did it on a bus once. The funny thing was, he wasn't even doing it on a bet or anything, he just did it because he thought it was funny.

He also urinated on the door of Marks and Spenser on Mary Street one night and got arrested, and a court summons for it, and while he was dealing with the gardaí he got all confrontational with them as well, calling them "Pigs".

He wrote a book that never got published, but for good reason because the book was really bad and was just about him doing all these mad things, and killing people. He called the book Shotgun 1/2.

He was very quick to anger as well, and countless times he lost the head with people and started shouting at them. He was in the Gym once, and one of the instructors there tried to give him advice because he was doing something wrong, but he just flipped out and started shouting at him.

He threw a rock through someone's window once because he didn't like the guy who lived in his house. Although the guy knew it was him who broke the window, confronted him sometime later on, and gave him a few digs in the face and a black eye.

In secondary school he also threw rocks at another guy's house who he had some beef with. During this beef, one day at school he punched the guy in the back of the head at break-time. They scheduled a fight later on after school, but nothing ever happened. He brought brass knuckles with him to use in the fight, and the other guy decided it was safer not to turn up.

I could go on all day about this guy but i'll leave it there.

Arthur Beesley · 06-07-2014 07:42PM

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Women do it too but are less sexually crude about it. I know a girl who thinks every man who makes eye contact with her is a "smitten kitten" for her...everyone who says hello or passes and acknowledges her is referenced later in the day as "aww he is such a skitter kitten ,it's so cute but I wouldn't go there". It must be a grand little bubble to exist in all the same though.

Is she hot?

mad muffin · 06-07-2014 07:46PM

OP your friend?

Day Lewin · 06-07-2014 07:46PM

Arrah goodness---

Big mouth = small willy. Everyone knows that. We used to have a saying for them, "all mouth and trousers"
Heaven help him...whenever he finally gets a real woman, if he should be so lucky, he will put a stop to all that talk!

But in the meantime, it would be the action of a true friend to -
A. mention tactfully that regular bathing is a lot more attractive to women, and
B. - that pointless boasting makes him sound like a bigmouth and is nearly as off-putting as the poor hygiene.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller · 06-07-2014 07:52PM

Reminds me of this Boardsie:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?=743264506

GalwayGuy2 · 06-07-2014 07:55PM

Meh, I guess until you've been with a women you'll find it very hard to separate politeness/friendliness from flirtatiousness.

Hotfail.com · 06-07-2014 07:56PM

mad muffin wrote: »

OP you're friend?

Mad Muffin, I am friend.

Fiolina · 06-07-2014 07:59PM

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

Reminds me of this Boardsie:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?=743264506

I fall for this every time:o

mad muffin · 06-07-2014 08:01PM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Mad Muffin, I am friend.

:P

Spunge · 06-07-2014 08:02PM

Id rather be ignorant to the fact that im bad with the opposite sex than horribly aware of it

yournerd · 06-07-2014 08:02PM

I hate guys who crave attention.

People who think they're brilliant with the opposite sex when they really aren't....

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