Be still my beating heart

Ososlo · 29-06-2014 10:42PM

wowzer wrote: »

Dont throw the towel in on the log just yet, it's by far the most interesting log on here. Bad day at the office today, dust yourself off and move on.

thanks. Everyone having fun at my expense

Only kidding. Cheers

Ososlo · 29-06-2014 10:49PM

TRR wrote: »

You are over thinking things. This is supposed to be fun!
Telling yourself you are mentally weak is a self fulfilling prophecy.
Drquirky is right we are all mentally weak. The trick is learning how to override those negative vibes. You say you have no issues hitting sessions in training. Your weakness apparently is in races. I'm not going to tell you to race more as you should follow whatever your coach says and disregard others BUT it may be something you guys need to look at. No use training your backside off for months and then blowing it in your goal race as you aren't race ready and haven't learned how to deal with your perceived deamons! It really is a simple sport. Run more/smarter get faster. Race more get better at racing!

yeah I know what you're saying and I didn't want to post at all as that just got me overthinking things more. However I did want to put into words in my log how things panned out today and it seems that whenever I post honestly about things there's a strong retort from other posters. There were a lot of words in my initial post and maybe too many.
It was my first race of many. I'll be doing them regularly for the next few months so hopefully they'll eventually translate into a decent outcome.
It wasn't really a goal race today but my first race of the year. I'll be racing a lot more over the coming weeks and months. If I'm still Ososlo and not making progress by the end of August then we'll really have something to worry about.
Thanks. Well done on the win bro.

TRR · 29-06-2014 11:09PM

Thanks I'm sure mum would be proud

AuldManKing · 29-06-2014 11:11PM

Let's move on.

What's the next session?

RedRunner · 29-06-2014 11:35PM

AuldManKing wrote: »

Let's move on.

What's the next session?

One last one before we do;)

Brave post. I'm sure you knew there would be an onslaught of advice of all different types.

Pity things didn't work out for you today but it is an experience I'm sure you'll learn by. This whole running business is a never ending learning curve and with each training or racing experience we pick a little bit of knowledge up that'll make us better in the longer term.

I do think that you put too much pressure on yourself though to bag that A1 performance. Maybe if you eased up a bit on yourself it might happen when you least expect it. I know you'll get what you want in the end though that's for sure with your work ethic and determination which is evident from this log.

I agree with HelenAnne too on the club colours thing. I definitely find since joining that wearing the colours gives you that little extra determination to do well.

Tomorrow is another day. Next week this will be long forgotten. We get knocked down but we get up again...

Murph_D · 30-06-2014 08:52AM

Sorry to hear about your bad day, Ososlo. Having things go wrong on a big day can be demoralising - I had a similar experience at the Race Series HM last year when nothing went right and I felt very low afterwards - the exact opposite to the high we all get when things go well. But as has been suggested, this is all part of the journey and ultimately we can learn as much (if not more) from a bad race as a good one. Not that that's ever much if a consolation on the day, but in time...

Better luck next time. Get the head up!

Stazza · 30-06-2014 09:16AM

At the end of August, I think it’ll be interesting to come back to the 29th June and have a cheeky little goosey: we’ll be able to see if all the advice from the advisers, advising that you should have raced more, was the correct option during your base phase

FWIW – I thought your report was great. A few more on here would benefit from more honesty and less flummery and skullduggery.

T runner · 30-06-2014 09:34AM

Ososlo wrote: »

I am mentally weak. If I wasn't I would have finished the race today. I have a bad attitude. I wouldn't have been happy with anything less than a 2 min pb today and that's a bad attitude. I've been through HTFU many many time over the past few months banging out reps of 400s 800s and 1600s in parks throughout Dublin and being at the puking/crying stage many many times. so I thought I was mentally well prepared. As I said, I'm learning. I'm really new to all of this and a few months ago, would never have considered being able to do 4 sub 8 min miles (yeah laugh all you want) in training, but I did it twice. So I was confident of my target today.
The progression run today was like my double vodka and coke. I had to knock it back to get my fix and it worked. I felt better after it. I belted out the door in frustration and hit Ikea in lightening speed (slower than my predicted race pace though:rolleyes:). I said it was a silly run earlier but I was willing to suffer the consequences.
Days like today and subsequent replies leaves one wondering should one just knock the log on the head and go quietly about one's business and return in a few months in a more positive frame of mind. However, maybe that's just chickening out and I need to HtFU here too. I like to have an honest log but I'm just not sure if it's the way forward.
I agree with a lot of what you've said but sometimes perhaps you should consider more deeply what you're saying and how it might impact on people. I laid out very clearly where I went wrong today which was almost exactly what your response to me said. Did I need to hear it again from someone else? Maybe.

Hi Ososlo.

Very interesting thread. Thanks for posting. I've had the same issues with attitude and mentality as yourself in the past. The very odd day though id wake up and have an absolute blinder. A very rare occasion mind.

Perceived mental weakness can be potential mental strength. You have a strong mind and when its negative it is hampering you. When the moons align and its positive.....a different story.

The trick for you is to eliminate any other issues at play and to get the mind positive before and during a race.

What I do is:

Very good preparation the week of the race. Good nutrition, decent stretching, controlled rest. That makes a huge difference. Looking back I realize that a lot of my race preparation was a bit flawed, and I realize that I was giving myself an excuse to fail....to sabotage the race. So I separate the preparation from the race. Tick off the good pre-race stuff without associating it with the race too much. That way I complete them well. That will make you feel well, feel physically strong. You might start to get that confident feeling...where youre getting sure a good one is imminent.

Execution of correct race pace.
Nearly all my DNF-s were caused by going out to hard.
Everything goes against you: you see your chances of success are gone, you are hurting way too much compared with the distance left....whats the point of suffering for nothing? What's the point of climbing a mountain of pain when theres no reward at the top? And there is truth in it: unless you are absolute top peak condition you don't recover and do well after such a start. It doesn't happen.

Id suggest using maybe a Park run as training if accessible: for you to practice running around race pace. (Id go out at 95% race pace and hold for the race. That should help and a useful training session too. Even in your target race. 95-97% for the first k, you'll know what to do then.)

That's what I did and it helped greatly.

-Prepare well, so you feel good and prepared before the race.
-Never start out faster than Predicted race pace under any circumstances. This will feel slow. (Don't look for hardship..it will find you 3k+ down the road, where it will be manageable.)

Lastly, be as objective as you can in your diagnosis. Its not easy with disappointment, and its good to share it....we all relate to it

But specifically in the nuts and bolts analysis......anything you can do in the box ticking dissassociative manner will help. Pick out areas for improvement in preparation and execution and improve them dispassionately.

If this works for you as it did for me, you might find some of the perceived mental weakness, was actually attributable to other things. And if youre feeling well prepared, physically good and go out well in the race: then that perceived weakness might soon be revealed as strength, when your mind is rowing with you late in the race.

TRR · 30-06-2014 09:56AM

Stazza wrote: »

At the end of August, I think it’ll be interesting to come back to the 29th June and have a cheeky little goosey: we’ll be able to see if all the advice from the advisers, advising that you should have raced more, was the correct option during your base phase

Hell may be about to freeze over but I agree with stazza in principle here. FWIW I think you should actually stop logging here ososlo. I enjoy your log and wouldn't like to see it go but you have decided to let someone coach you. That means you should do what they say 100%, even if others don't agree. You are getting too many (well intentioned) mixed signals here and you would be better off listening to one voice! I coach a couple of people and they've come back and said X and Y say I should be doing this or that. I tell them they should be coached by that person then!

But above all remember it's meant to be fun

HelenAnne · 30-06-2014 10:16AM

TRR wrote: »

Hell may be about to freeze over but I agree with stazza in principle here. FWIW I think you should actually stop logging here ososlo. I enjoy your log and wouldn't like to see it go but you have decided to let someone coach you. That means you should do what they say 100%, even if others don't agree. You are getting too many (well intentioned) mixed signals here and you would be better off listening to one voice! I coach a couple of people and they've come back and said X and Y say I should be doing this or that. I tell them they should be coached by that person then!

But above all remember it's meant to be fun

If you look at it like that, I agree! When I'm at work there's nothing I hate more than the people I'm working with saying 'But my friends / children / people on the internet say XYZ.'

AdpRo · 30-06-2014 03:02PM

I’m going to go against the majority here and say that keeping a limited eye on the watch can definitely help. I ran Tymon parkrun a couple of weeks ago and while I had the watch on I never looked at it, I had been trying to get sub 23 for a good while making 3 or 4 serious attempts at it but the closest I got was 23.04 in the Santry 5k before Christmas. Went out hard (for me) and ran 7.13 & 7.20 first 2 miles, I knew I was working very hard in the 3rd mile and thought I was doing enough to keep it under 7.30 but never looked at the watch, turned out I was slowing big time and ran 8.02 and ended up 23 mins flat! Now if I had looked at the watch during the 3rd mile and saw an average pace of 8.xx I think I could definitely have found more!

Roll forward to last Friday and St Coca’s 5k in Kilcock. I had made the decision that I was going to keep an eye on the watch every so often. Started off and looked after about 1/2 k and saw 6.31 m/m average pace so immediately pulled it back a little to hit the first mile 7.06, kept it steady 2nd mile looking at the watch a couple of times and mile 2 ended up 7.15. I was working hard now and looked at the watch again at 2.2 miles to see current mile pace at 8.07. Straight away I decided that I was not letting it slip again and upped the pace, kept increasing it from there to the end to literally fall over the line in 22.02 and a last mile of 7.05 and 5.23 pace for the last bit. Now there is no way I would have put in such an effort if I hadn’t looked at the watch and saw 8.07 pace.

I guess it all depends on how you will react to what you see on the watch, it you see you are going slower than expected and react by digging in then it can only be a good thing but it probably takes a few races to get into that frame of mind. Best of luck in the next few races, the physical side of things probably won’t get any easier but hopefully the mental side will.

Ososlo · 30-06-2014 07:06PM

Monday 30 June
35 mins recovery
Great drinking session last night and delighted I never found that bottle of whiskey. I felt dreadful this morning as I haven't been drinking much lately at all and am a bit of a lightweight these day but hit it hard last night. Forgot to eat during the day too bar my breakfast and a half of a cardboard-type pizza from the freezer. Was destroyed this morning but as I said, thank god I was forcefully held back from the whiskey bottle! Was so wrecked that I couldn't make an appointment I had at 9 and wasn't fit for much during the day. Didn't sleep at all last night with everything that happened during the day going 'round and 'round in my head....
Recovery run made me feel a tiny bit better this evening.

So, does the log continue?

Have to say I'm really blown away by the advice I got here last night and today and there's some really constructive stuff from Trunner which I will be using to help me in the following months. I'm really astounded about the fact that people would bother to help me out in such a way and put together really detailed considered posts with great useful advice. This makes me feel that I don't want to close the log.
For whatever reason, my log does seem to invite attention. Because I don't really know any of you at all (I've met a few at boards beers and only ever met with one of you whilst sober) I feel I can be totally honest as there are no repercussions in real life as none of you are part of it. So I say what I want on my log and am very honest, maybe too much so but it doesn't really matter as I'll see any of you once a year at most in a drunken haze.

I've decided not to close the log. If I wasn't doing the Novice thing I'd probably take an extended break from Boards, but I can't as I've committed to that so need to hang about the place so I might aswell log.

From the outset this was to be an honest account of my running and so it shall continue to be. I could just do a purely fact and figure type running log but that would be leaving my log devoid of it's unique Ososlo essence so it shall continue as it is. If anyone feels the need to point out where they think I'm going wrong in any aspect of my training, then I invite criticism. I'm not asking for 'backslapping' and to be honest, find that insinuation a little condescending. I take my running very seriously and even though I'm one of the slower posters on the logs, I train as hard as a lot of the faster people but don't see the 'backslapping' thing being bandied about on their logs when sessions/races don't go their way and someone pops in to offer a bit of a positive slant on things.
Somehow I think when you're one of the slower posters, some people feel they have a given right to say stuff they wouldn't say to faster loggers. Be clear: I'm not encouraging 'backslapping' in any form. However, sometimes people just want to pull something positive from a negative situation to try and make a person feel better. That's just human nature I think and will always happen. Nothing anyone said to me yesterday was going to make me feel better because I knew I f'cked up badly and didn't log my account of the day to receive any backslapping. I logged it because it happened. Simple.

I have every confidence in my training and the person who's training me and have surprised myself in the last few months with what I've achieved in training. Now I need to learn to race. I learned a lot about myself (all negative stuff) from yesterday so that's one positive I've taken from it.
I get a lot from the log. I don't really know runners in real life so the logs are like part of my running club and I get a lot out of the banter with other runners and learn a lot from everyone. I'd really miss that if I stopped having my own log.
So back to business. And of course, having fun.

barryoneill50 · 30-06-2014 07:16PM

so how did you get on Sunday...joke, joke!

Ososlo · 30-06-2014 07:17PM

barryoneill50 wrote: »

so how did you get on Sunday...joke, joke!

I'll tell ya one thing barry, my rhr was about 120 this morning!

statss · 30-06-2014 09:25PM

the drama on this log is something else :eek:....I've nothing really constructive to add but from a selfish point of view, I am glad you are keeping it open (engrossing reading) but at the same time I do think TRR makes a good point.

I haven't met you yet of course so it's a presumptuous opinion of me to form, but reading between the lines, it seems like maintaing the log can stress you out at times (despite the good stuff) so just make sure the benefits v hassle of the log, stay on the beneficial side

(need to keep this in mind myself)

As for the race, if it were me in your shoes right now, I'd go out next Saturday to a parkrun and get it out of your system and move on, but it sounds like you are in good hands anyway so I look forward to reading more about your training over the next while.

Oh and as I mentioned to you before, (altho I think our work hours don't really align), you know where I am workwise if you fancied a lunch time easy jog to bitch about all these well meaning yet annoying boardsies :pac:

Go easy on yourself for the next while

Ososlo · 01-07-2014 05:54PM

statss wrote: »

I haven't met you yet of course so it's a presumptuous opinion of me to form, but reading between the lines, it seems like maintaing the log can stress you out at times (despite the good stuff) so just make sure the benefits v hassle of the log, stay on the beneficial side (need to keep this in mind myself)

Oh and as I mentioned to you before, (altho I think our work hours don't really align), you know where I am workwise if you fancied a lunch time easy jog to bitch about all these well meaning yet annoying boardsies :pac:

Go easy on yourself for the next while

Thanks S. No, maintaining the log doesn't stress me. What does stress me is constantly having to explain myself about my training and justifying why I do or do not do certain things in my training. I mightn't have to do that anymore though.
Thanks for the running/bitching offer. Sounds good. I can't wash in work though so the run is out. The bitching session. Now that sounds interesting!

dolliemix · 02-07-2014 06:06PM

Hi Osolo just popping in to say thanks for keeping an eye on my log. I'm following the DCM thread and your advice and encouragement is A1. Have been looking for a log here on Boards that might help me and I think I've found it

Looks like I'm starting off just like you did. Well done on all your progress. Inspirational for me. I'm hoping I'll be you in a year or two!

barryoneill50 · 02-07-2014 06:15PM

dolliemix wrote: »

Hi Osolo just popping in to say thanks for keeping an eye on my log. I'm following the DCM thread and your advice and encouragement is A1. Have been looking for a log here on Boards that might help me and I think I've found it Looks like I'm starting off just like you did. Well done on all your progress. Inspirational for me. I'm hoping I'll be you in a year or two!

God no, one is plenty:D

gerard_65 · 02-07-2014 06:20PM

Ososlo wrote: »

Thanks S. No, maintaining the log doesn't stress me. What does stress me is constantly having to explain myself about my training and justifying why I do or do not do certain things in my training. I mightn't have to do that anymore though.
Thanks for the running/bitching offer. Sounds good. I can't wash in work though so the run is out. The bitching session. Now that sounds interesting!

So don't. The advice and comments may be given with best intentions but your not obliged to even acknowledge it. Stop being so nice;)

Ososlo · 02-07-2014 06:34PM

dolliemix wrote: »

Hi Osolo just popping in to say thanks for keeping an eye on my log. I'm following the DCM thread and your advice and encouragement is A1. Have been looking for a log here on Boards that might help me and I think I've found it Looks like I'm starting off just like you did. Well done on all your progress. Inspirational for me. I'm hoping I'll be you in a year or two!

Hey there dolliemix, enjoying your log and make sure to keep it up! Glad you're enjoying the Novice Thread. It's a bit of fun alright. As for my progress, well I can't believe anyone would call it 'inspirational' but I guess I do need to remind myself of where I started (in the gutter practically with a double vodka and coke in my hand and a fag hanging from my mouth!) and you've just got me thinking about that so I guess there has been some kind of development. Thank you. By the rate of my progress though, you'll more than likely be faster than me in a year or two!

barryoneill50 wrote: »

God no, one is plenty:D

CHEEKY!!!!!!!!!!!

Ososlo · 02-07-2014 06:37PM

gerard_65 wrote: »

So don't. The advice and comments may be given with best intentions but your not obliged to even acknowledge it. Stop being so nice;)

Fair point. I am too bloody nice.

Ososlo · 02-07-2014 06:51PM

Not like me not do this on the last day of the month...

June review:
Miles: 120 (intentionally low to be fresh for sessions)
Doubles: x 3 (knocked them on the head recently for the next 2 months to be fresh for sessions/races)
1 x 4 x mile reps
1 x 400s
1 x 800s
2 x progression runs
2 x long runs
2 x quirky attacks
1 x DNF race

So, a bad month all in all. Oh July. What shalt thou bring?

Shifting away from June's bud
to leave dandelions scattered in the yard
this dawn of July
marks the end of a lie
a lie from past season
for a strong reason
?

Ososlo · 05-07-2014 06:25PM

Wednesday 2 July
35 mins easy. Felt dreadful on this run and just wanted to stop the whole way. Really not like me. Heavy legs, breathing terrible, chest felt awful. Head in a bad place. Too hot and just not enjoying it.
Knee healing up nicely and no trouble from the glute since the accident at all so all good there.

Thursday 3 July
Decided to rest. I have a bit of a dry cough and feel relentlessly thirsty all day and a bit fatigued. Nothing to be gained.

Friday 4 July
Can't believe I'm typing this but no running again today. Again, very tired for some reason. Never took 2 days off before unless sick or injured. Not sure what's up with me.
Knee bruising almost gone so it was the first day I could wear a skirt without looking like a battered wife!
Headed to bed just as the game was finishing, delighted it didn't go into extra time so I could have an early night for once. Got a very unsettling message from my sister just before my head hit the pillow (shouldn't have read the damn thing) about an old boyfriend of mine who is up for manslaughter:eek:. Very strange and unsettling. These things don't happen to people like me

Needless to say, sleep was slow to come and when it did it was fitful and not very relaxing. 1.5-2 hour sleep max.

Saturday 5 July
Parkrun
Sub 25. A min pb

Advice given was to use this as race practice and run it in a progressive manner with a conservative start, so it was never going to be a great time but the main aim was to complete it without too much pressure and not drop out like last week so I can get back on the racing wagon in the coming weeks.

Started out fairly comfortably (8:10 pace) and finished up doing the last half mile in 7:12pace so happy I finished strong. Left it too late to pull something good out of the bag but I did work extremely hard in the last half mile where I gave it everything and every fibre of my being wanted to stop every millisecond of that time but thank f*** I didn't:D. I'll race a 5k again very soon and race it properly from start to finish with a more aggressive start. Today is nothing to get excited about. It was a good hard effort in a race setting where I felt 5k race pain towards the end and wanted badly to stop but didn't so not a bad day at the office but I am capable of much better looking at my recent training paces. I'll be looking to take a good chunk of this for the next one with a more appropriate strategy.

Thing I'm most happy about today is I got my love back for running on my cool down after the race. I lost it since Wednesday for some very odd reason but it's back with a vengeance. I'm currently trying to hold myself back from putting on the runners for a few more recovery miles:D but the night is young...

2.5 miles w/u
Race
4 miles c/d
Daily total: 9.5 miles

ps - thanks Trunner, J & R for the advice over the last few days. You guys are awesome:D

yaboya1 · 05-07-2014 06:30PM

Nice one.
I'm sure you'll smash that new PB next time out too

Ososlo · 05-07-2014 06:31PM

yaboya1 wrote: »

Nice one.
I'm sure you'll smash that new PB next time out too

thanks and believe me, I will!

RedRunner · 05-07-2014 06:41PM

Ososlo wrote: »

Today is nothing to get excited about.

From small acorns ,grow mighty Oaks;)

Well done today! Really pleased for you. Plenty more to come.

Ososlo · 05-07-2014 06:43PM

RedRunner wrote: »

From small acorns ,grow mighty Oaks;)

Well done today! Really pleased for you. Plenty more to come.

you saying I look like a tree?
Remember, no backslapping on this log;)
But I know what you're saying. It's a start.thanks

pa4 · 05-07-2014 07:51PM

Delighted for you Osolo, sometimes all as we need is a good confidence booster

tang1 · 05-07-2014 07:52PM

Well done on the race today, a pb is a pb.

Ososlo · 05-07-2014 07:53PM

pa4 wrote: »

Delighted for you Osolo, sometimes all as we need is a good confidence booster

thanks. I'm not particularly happy with the time (I set out so conservatively I was never going to do myself justice really) but the main aim was to finish and conquer the demons of last week.
Nothing to be particularly proud of as I've done better in training. But thanks.

Be still my beating heart

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