Cheesiest chat-up lines

'Here's 30c. Ring your ma and tell her you won't be home tonight!'

All chat-up lines are cheesy. If you want to get to know someone, be friendly and nice.

You may not be a virgin mary, but I'll still be your God.

Wanna go halves on a bastard?

How's your belly for a lodger?

If I could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't as that would be irresponsible and lead to mass confusion throughout many parts of the world.

fussyonion wrote: »

Friend of mine was over for coffee earlier and was telling me about her night out in town last night.

Apparently this guy gave her the cheesiest chat-up line ever:
"I'm not Fred Flintstone but I can make your bed rock".

I've heard a few in my time: "If I could re-arrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together" and "Is that a mirror in your trousers 'cos I can see myself in your pants"....but what, dear AH'ers, is the cheesiest chat-up line you've heard?

The following is a true story. Ye may believe it or otherwise as suits thee.

Me and another fellah arrive at a party. I sit down near the door. The other guy heads off over the road to get some gargle. "Where's your friend gone?" a very attractive woman asks me. "cross the road, only be a minute" sez I. "What's his name?" sez she, so I tell her. Few minutes later he comes back, and heads out just on the landing. Yer woman passes me by. Scant minutes later she walks past me leading yer man by the hand into the backroom. The next time I see yer man it's around 12 the next day.

"How the jaysus did ye pull yer wan so fast" I asked, amazed at this apparent feat of seduction.
"I didn't. I was sittin on the stairs and she came out and sat beside me. She held me hand and said "Your names x, isn't it? I'm (y)". Then she leant over and whispered "you look sex starved" and pulled me up into the back."

Course the funny thing was, while I was unconscious on the floor (due to too much booze, rather than the row I was in earlier) and he was in the back, her other half arrived in looking for her.

1987-88 maybe, in and around then.

Hi. Wanna dance?

Yeah well fcuk off onto the dancefloor so I can chat up yer mate.

Nodin wrote: »

The following is a true story. Ye may believe it or otherwise as suits thee.

Me and another fellah arrive at a party. I sit down near the door. The other guy heads off over the road to get some gargle. "Where's your friend gone?" a very attractive woman asks me. "cross the road, only be a minute" sez I. "What's his name?" sez she, so I tell her. Few minutes later he comes back, and heads out just on the landing. Yer woman passes me by. Scant minutes later she walks past me leading yer man by the hand into the backroom. The next time I see yer man it's around 12 the next day.

"How the jaysus did ye pull yer wan so fast" I asked, amazed at this apparent feat of seduction.
"I didn't. I was sittin on the stairs and she came out and sat beside me. She held me hand and said "Your names x, isn't it? I'm (y)". Then she leant over and whispered "you look sex starved" and pulled me up into the back."

Course the funny thing was, while I was unconscious on the floor (due to too much booze, rather than the row I was in earlier) and he was in the back, her other half arrived in looking for her.

1987-88 maybe, in and around then.

That's the longest chat-up line ever.

Nodin wrote: »

The following is a true story. Ye may believe it or otherwise as suits thee.

Me and another fellah arrive at a party. I sit down near the door. The other guy heads off over the road to get some gargle. "Where's your friend gone?" a very attractive woman asks me. "cross the road, only be a minute" sez I. "What's his name?" sez she, so I tell her. Few minutes later he comes back, and heads out just on the landing. Yer woman passes me by. Scant minutes later she walks past me leading yer man by the hand into the backroom. The next time I see yer man it's around 12 the next day.

"How the jaysus did ye pull yer wan so fast" I asked, amazed at this apparent feat of seduction.
"I didn't. I was sittin on the stairs and she came out and sat beside me. She held me hand and said "Your names x, isn't it? I'm (y)". Then she leant over and whispered "you look sex starved" and pulled me up into the back."

Course the funny thing was, while I was unconscious on the floor (due to too much booze, rather than the row I was in earlier) and he was in the back, her other half arrived in looking for her.

1987-88 maybe, in and around then.

What a dirty slut.

On a cold night..

"I've an electric blanket you know"

Duracell Bunny wrote: »

You the ex-husband?

Nah just think it's slutty to go about like that when you have a partner.
For all I know that could have been my father and mother.

This works a dream in London

Is there any Irish in you?

Nah

Do you want some?