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Unspoken Rules

135678

Comments

  • #62
    Arthur Beesley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Arthur Beesley


    buddy22 wrote: »
    When you try to prove to your IT manager that your computer doesn't work, it will

    Did you try turning if off and on again?


  • #63
    major bill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,421 ✭✭✭major bill


    Never question IT when they are on your machine


  • #64
    Arthur Beesley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Arthur Beesley


    Never **** in your own doorstep. Either literally or figuratively.


  • #65
    buddy22
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34 ✭buddy22


    If she sounds nice on the phone - add about three stone


  • #66
    thelad95
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,812 ✭✭✭thelad95


    If you can hold your piss for the first three pints, you won't piss again for the rest of the night.


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  • #67
    coolhull
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 49,731 ✭✭✭✭coolhull


    Never make love to a woman who has big hands
    it makes your d1ck look small


  • #68
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Always have an excuse ready for the next morning


  • #69
    Colser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    coolhull wrote: »
    Never make love to a woman who has big hands
    it makes your d1ck look small

    And vice versa..:)


  • #70
    Samsgirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,217 ✭✭✭Samsgirl


    Don't Google Google, you will break the Internet


  • #71
    Specialun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭Specialun


    Always say "crap weather isnt it" to the old guy behind the till regardless of how bad or good the weather is

    Always call all crisps tayto's


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  • #72
    Adamantium
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭Adamantium


    Samsgirl wrote: »
    Don't Google Google, you will break the Internet

    Always remember to listen carefully, it's a lot harder to come terms to with the sudden realisation that you have been sleeping with a man, and not a person from Iran.


  • #73
    The Diabolical Monocle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,618 ✭✭✭The Diabolical Monocle


    Its not lexus's.


    Its Lexi.


    Saa aa aad


  • #74
    MJ23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,039 ✭✭✭MJ23


    Never rub another mans rhubarb.


  • #75
    Vito Corleone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,753 ✭✭✭Vito Corleone


    If her age is on the clock she's too young for the cock.


  • #76
    Dia1988
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,246 ✭✭✭Dia1988


    If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down!!


  • #77
    mikemac1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Better a pregnant lady stands then a chubby lady cries - If in doubt don't offer up your seat on the bus


  • #78
    EoghanIRL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭EoghanIRL


    Flat 7up cures all illnesses .


  • #79
    The Diabolical Monocle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,618 ✭✭✭The Diabolical Monocle


    Your hippness dies at age 25.


    After this point one can no longer be 'Down with the homies' as it were.



    In fact any attempt to do so will cause said homies to disassociate themselves from your company.
    Why exactly Im not quite sure.


    Oh yes, and a reversed baseball 'cap' and jean trousers wont help, believe me Ive tried.


  • #80
    languagenerd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,201 ✭✭✭languagenerd


    If you're on the outside seat beside a stranger on public transport , move when a two-seater becomes free. Similarly, don't sit beside someone if there are two-seaters free.

    Take a step back after you ring the doorbell.

    Don't eat bananas in public. Just don't. :P


  • #81
    Tuco88
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭Tuco88


    Never fart while coming down a ladder.

    Its the number one cause of ladder related deaths.


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  • #82
    Cienciano
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,208 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    major bill wrote: »
    Never question IT when they are on your machine

    Unless its IT where I work. They'll try the same thing I did 3 times over to fix things, won't listen when I told them I tried it and it didn't work, and when they've finished wasting both of our time they'll tell me it can't be done.


  • #83
    GoldenTickets
    Closed Accounts Posts: 469 ✭✭GoldenTickets


    Tuco88 wrote: »
    Never fart while coming down a ladder.

    Its the number one cause of ladder related deaths.

    In a similar vein, never fart when climbing stairs (or a ladder) if someone is following close behind. Unless they're a prat, in which case it's cropdusting time.


  • #84
    pablo128
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,210 ✭✭✭pablo128


    Ethiopians, before they eat you.


  • #85
    mikemac1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    If you're queuing at the tills and the person in front of you buys a lotto ticket but changes their mind and leaves it with the staff then you must buy it!

    It's gonna be a lucky one


  • #86
    twowheelsonly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,273 ✭✭✭twowheelsonly


    Chareth Cutestory wrote: »
    If you realise you're walking in the wrong direction, stop and have a look at your phone before turning around.

    You can't run the risk of letting a complete stranger know you've been walking the wrong way.

    In the old days you had to look at your watch.....even if you weren't wearing one!!


  • #87
    SimonTemplar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,815 ✭✭✭SimonTemplar


    Always say thanks to someone who holds a door open for you.


  • #88
    ardle1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭ardle1


    languagenerd wrote: »

    Take a step back after you ring the doorbell.

    Unless your Nidge, then you can press your nose tightly against the door untill someone opens it:eek:


  • #89
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    Chareth Cutestory wrote: »
    If you realise you're walking in the wrong direction, stop and have a look at your phone before turning around.

    You can't run the risk of letting a complete stranger know you've been walking the wrong way.

    Alternatively, stop walking and check you trousers/jacket pockets frantically, as if you lost something. You can then turned around with dignity, safe in the knowledge that the only thing you really lost was any fecking clue of where you were going.


  • #90
    thelad95
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,812 ✭✭✭thelad95


    Always press the button at pedestrian crossings even if the man is green.


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  • #91
    mikemac1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Try not to be a few steps ahead of someone when you're going down a long corridor like in a college with lots of swinging doors as then you become their door slave!


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