Unspoken Rules

Cazzoenorme

Keep your eyes straight ahead at the urinal.

Don't speak to strangers on public transport.

Archeron

Always fart in a lift.

Bubbaclaus

Don't cut in front of people at the bar counter.

downonthefarm

Never ever go in the front door if you went in the back door first

Banjo String

Always do your best to get back in front of some smug prick who undertook you earlier on the motorway.

Pinch Flat

Cazzoenorme wrote: »

Keep your eyes straight ahead at the urinal.

Upon entering said jax and there's 3 urinals, always pick one on the far left or right. NEVER pick the middle one as this will cause an immediate dilemma for the next user.

And if there's 3 urinals and ones being used (it will always be the one left or right, NEVER the middle one) always take one where there's a urinal between you and the current user.

2 urinals, one being used, into the wc with ya.

FreshKnickers

More than two shakes and it's playing with yourself

wp_rathead

Never feed Mogwai after midnight

Hitchens

never draw to an inside straight

Karl Stein

Acknowledge a fellow motorist when he leaves you out of a side road.

If you don't you're worse than Hitler.

vitani

If you're waiting for a train/bus and want a cigarette, move aside so you're not standing in the middle of the crowd, smoking. Shouldn't need to be spelled out but there's a man at my train station in the morning who always does this.

coolhull

If yo have a cough, always save it till you're in the church

Mickey H

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Upon entering said jax and there's 3 urinals, always pick one on the far left or right. NEVER pick the middle one as this will cause an immediate dilemma for the next user.

And if there's 3 urinals and ones being used (it will always be the one left or right, NEVER the middle one) always take one where there's a urinal between you and the current user.

2 urinals, one being used, into the wc with ya.

Or else pretend to comb your hair at the mirror.

Turtyturd

Never let taxi drivers out of the bus lane.

Hey Yall

Dont be staring at others when in public dressing rooms

stefan idiot jones

Always give money and/or cigarettes to skangers.

joe stodge

Always throw your dogs shïte over the fence into the neighbors garden even if they don't have a dog.

Karl Stein

Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

ToddyDoody

Driving a Merc / BMW is unladylike

Greentopia

Always say "sorry" to someone no matter if you bumped into someone, came within a few inches of doing so, or even if they bumped into you. So Irish :pac:

hatrickpatrick

Cazzoenorme wrote: »

Don't speak to strangers on public transport.

I take it you've never been on the 4AM Nitelink then? >_>

endacl

Don't stand up in a canoe.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

If you're female and find yourself alone in a lift with a man. Show him your tits.

pday1234

Never let an Audi driver out at the cross junction.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Never trust a fart!

The One Doctor

Don't eat yellow snow.

Pinch Flat

Greentopia wrote: »

Always say "sorry" to someone no matter if you bumped into someone, came within a few inches of doing so, or even if they bumped into you. So Irish :pac:

Or if you're trying to get someone's attention "sorry, you left your scarf behind you"

Chareth Cutestory

Always thank the bus driver - even if they're 40 minutes late and driving 10 km an hour while you're rushing to get in to work.

ballsymchugh

Banjo String wrote: »

Always do your best to get back in front of some smug prick who undertook you earlier on the motorway.

don't be sauntering along slowly in the overtaking lane!

MRnotlob606

sit on the outside bus seat on a bus to avoid sitting beside a stranger

thelad95

If you can't lift her don't shift her.

Arthur Beesley

Don't **** in the sink or urinal.

Don't pick your nose or your arse in public.

Don't ask an overweight woman if she is pregnant.

Don't engage with junkies.

Don't talk about travellers.

TheBrinch

No making eye contact with another man while eating a banana

Lapin

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

sit on the outside bus seat on a bus to avoid sitting beside a stranger

And if a stranger approaches in the hope of sitting in the empty seat, smile up at them with a broad gimpy grin.

They'll move on and sit somewhere else or remain standing.

Works every time.

Arthur Beesley

Boston Prickly Mole wrote: »

Never trust a fart!

Made that mistake last week, thankfully I was taking a jimmy wizz at home at the time with only my jocks on.

Arthur Beesley

Lapin wrote: »

And if a stranger approaches in the hope of sitting in the empty seat, smile up at them with a broad gimpy grin.

They'll move on and sit somewhere else or remain standing.

Works every time.

Not me. I would go out out way to sit there in this instance. Oh, and 'Bus Wanker'.

Chareth Cutestory

If you realise you're walking in the wrong direction, stop and have a look at your phone before turning around.

You can't run the risk of letting a complete stranger know you've been walking the wrong way.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

Made that mistake last week, thankfully I was taking a jimmy wizz at home at the time with only my jocks on.

I can't decide if a jimmy wizz is a piss,a sh1te or a ****.

Arthur Beesley

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

I can't decide if a jimmy wizz is a piss,a sh1te or a ****.

Piss.

maguic24

Never comment on a womans weight

rwg

no pickin your nose and eatin it, in front of people

Cork selfbuild

Never stick your finger in my Guinness and draw a smiley face on it....

Boombastic

maguic24 wrote: »

Never comment on a womans weight

Unless you're commenting how much she lost

buddy22

No means no

maguic24

Boombastic wrote: »

Unless you're commenting how much she lost

That can backfire on you too if you're not careful.

The King of Moo

Never post an unwritten rule on the internet, as it will stop being unwritten.

IvaBigWun

maguic24 wrote: »

Never comment on a womans weight

Or guess her age

razorblunt

Always salute the walker on the country road when you're driving.

obezyana

Don't go against or have a different opinion to any of the high horse brigade on Boards

GoldenTickets

When speaking Irish in a public place (especially on a bus), always conduct your conversation at twice your normal volume. When you speak in Irish it is essential that everyone within earshot knows how clever you are.

The King of Moo

The King of Moo wrote: »

Never post an unwritten rule on the internet, as it will stop being unwritten.

Don't write about unwritten rules in a thread about unspoken rules.