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You know you're married when....

2

Comments

  • #32
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,801 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Cazzoenorme wrote: »
    When you resemble Lester Burnham more and more each day. Your soul gradually dies as it realises your sole purpose for being ( spreading your seed far and wide) has been extinguished. You no longer feel joy and excitement, everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. You have been sedated
    You should write for Hallmark


  • #33
    Raytown Rocks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 814 ✭✭✭Raytown Rocks


    When your cell mate tells you your married.


  • #34
    Nemeses
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,829 ✭✭✭Nemeses


    ......Only in Vegas!


  • #35
    _Redzer_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,056 ✭✭✭_Redzer_


    RoboRat wrote: »
    You only get to watch Match of the Day on Wednesday evening... when the wife is out :-(

    Feel free to add your own :-)

    Jesus, do you get castrated on your wedding day and lose your balls or something?

    Do what you like, why would you let someone treat you like you're on house arrest?


  • #36
    Santa Cruz
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,126 ✭✭✭Santa Cruz


    OneArt wrote: »
    Your wife makes you show her your willy.

    Your wife shows you her willy. (so much for waiting till we get married)


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  • #37
    RoboRat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,558 ✭✭✭RoboRat


    You know you're married when you've been having a bad year at work and it's really getting to you and your mood is suffering, and despite being a shadow of your former self, you still have someone who really wants to spend time with you and do things together and who shows more concern for your welfare more than you care for yourself.

    You know you're married when you'll happily spend all day doing something you have no interest in doing because the pleasure you get from making your wife happy is far greater than the cost of giving up some personal free time.

    Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and son but sometimes I wish I had a man cave to step away from it all... I just like having time to myself where I don't have to talk to anybody.
    Jesus, do you get castrated on your wedding day and lose your balls or something?

    Do what you like, why would you let someone treat you like you're on house arrest?

    Its not like I cant watch it with her but she just ends up talking all the way through any program she isn't interested in so I just don't bother as I just get pissed off.


  • #38
    blaze1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭blaze1


    You know your married when you tell your wife you were sitting around watching match of the day but really as soon as you heard the door click you were straight on redtube, after 1 minute 36 seconds you logged on to boards to try and cover your sins.


  • #39
    Funkfield
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,603 ✭✭✭Funkfield


    Boom_Bap wrote: »
    you can push your single beds together.

    No mean feat when the bedrooms are across the landing from each other.


    Kaycee2 wrote: »
    You no longer have to hide your big sucky in knickers

    Eh, wut? Do I wanna kn..... eh no, I'm happier not knowing.


  • #40
    mfceiling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,253 ✭✭✭✭mfceiling


    Your chances of getting the ride depend on whether the bed linen has been changed and/or the amount of wine consumed...


  • #41
    Das Kitty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,231 ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    Funkfield wrote: »
    No mean feat when the bedrooms are across the landing from each other.

    *Obscure Frasier quote high five*

    You know you're married when you want to share all the inane little experiences with your spouse, and if you're apart you spend your day texting over and back or just keep your IM window open all day. And you try not to descend into flirting, but always fail and end up embarrassed at work.

    :o


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  • #42
    Colser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    mfceiling wrote: »
    Your chances of getting the ride depend on whether the bed linen has been changed and/or the amount of wine consumed...

    Well wine is a must after a few years:pac: but whats with the bed linen? Dont want to dirty it or can only perform on clean sheets?:confused:


  • #43
    Das Kitty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,231 ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    You know you're married when you have incorporated countless pop-culture references into your daily speech, and neither of you can remember where most of them come from, until one day you're watching an old episode of the Simpsons, or Star Trek and both go "Ahhhh! That's it!" at the same time.


  • #44
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    You know you're married when the registrar says "I now pronounce you man and wife"...

    Do they say that? I wasn't really paying attention, I just stood where I was told to stand and signed what I was told to sign, my wife made all the arrangements :D


  • #45
    burgermasters
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 224 ✭✭burgermasters


    When you are always wrong.


  • #46
    burgermasters
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 224 ✭✭burgermasters


    When you are always wrong.


  • #47
    burgermasters
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 224 ✭✭burgermasters


    When you are always wrong.


  • #48
    burgermasters
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 224 ✭✭burgermasters


    When you are always wrong.


  • #49
    burgermasters
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 224 ✭✭burgermasters


    When you are always wrong.


  • #50
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    you leave your friends on a night out to go home to bed with your husband!


  • #51
    mfceiling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,253 ✭✭✭✭mfceiling


    burgermasters wrote: »
    When you are always wrong.
    burgermasters wrote: »
    When you are always wrong.
    burgermasters wrote: »
    When you are always wrong.
    burgermasters wrote: »
    When you are always wrong.
    burgermasters wrote: »
    When you are always wrong.

    When she tells you "i heard you the first time"


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  • #52
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Akrasia wrote: »
    You know you're married when you've been having a bad year at work and it's really getting to you and your mood is suffering, and despite being a shadow of your former self, you still have someone who really wants to spend time with you and do things together and who shows more concern for your welfare more than you care for yourself.

    You know you're married when you'll happily spend all day doing something you have no interest in doing because the pleasure you get from making your wife happy is far greater than the cost of giving up some personal free time.


    As a chick, I dig this shizzle big stylee.


  • #53
    steveone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 739 ✭✭✭steveone


    Akrasia wrote: »
    You know you're married when you've been having a bad year at work and it's really getting to you and your mood is suffering, and despite being a shadow of your former self, you still have someone who really wants to spend time with you and do things together and who shows more concern for your welfare more than you care for yourself.

    .

    That'll be the dog


  • #54
    Push Pop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Push Pop


    As Eddie Murphy said, a pussy becomes a vagina. Inevitably the sex dies due to the media and natural instincts.


  • #55
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,079 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Candie wrote: »
    The match of the day thing isn't exclusive to marrieds.

    I don't know why some people get married of their own free will and then behave like they've been tricked into a lifetime of house arrest afterwards.


    Of course they don't mean it. It's a thing married people do so not to upset the single people.


  • #56
    osarusan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,060 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    When sweet or flirty text messages are a thing of the past, and now they're along the lines of 'buy broccoli and milk on the way home.'


  • #57
    jeni
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 394 ✭✭jeni


    I lol'd at this today


  • #58
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,079 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    jeni wrote: »
    I lol'd at this today

    Sexist.


  • #59
    Colser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    When the tv remote is something you can see but cant touch..


  • #60
    mfceiling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,253 ✭✭✭✭mfceiling


    Colser wrote: »
    When the tv remote is something you can see but cant touch..

    Is that what you call it...


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  • #61
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Colser wrote: »
    When the tv remote is something you can see but cant touch..


    When you ARE the remote control -

    "Turn that over to Emmerdale Czarcasm!"

    "But the remote control is right beside you!" :confused:


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