You know you're married when....

RoboRat

You only get to watch Match of the Day on Wednesday evening... when the wife is out :-(

Feel free to add your own :-)

Birneybau

You got married

wretcheddomain

...Father Kelly bursts in and sings Hallelujah!

caustic 1

RoboRat wrote: »

You only get to watch Match of the Day on Wednesday evening... when the wife is out :-(

Feel free to add your own :-)

Only if your whipped.:D

The Backwards Man

You have a spouse

Renegade Mechanic

When the "y" in yearning for your wife's love disappears..

Sunny Dayz

.... your aunties treat ye like a proper couple now that you are married and are no longer living in sin! Hell they even let you in on the occasional smutty joke!

Barely There

Everybody starts throwing confetti.

dodderangler

Why is people get married and then complain about it??

force eleven

Your in-laws seem like outlaws...

SEPT 23 1989

...you start thinking of divorce

Duggy747

After they got you to marry them, phase 2 begins where they now nag you for kids :eek:

Renegade Mechanic

You hold arguments in public instead of hands:D

The match of the day thing isn't exclusive to marrieds.

I don't know why some people get married of their own free will and then behave like they've been tricked into a lifetime of house arrest afterwards.

BearBanjer

dodderangler wrote: »

Why is people get married and then complain about it??

Same reasons people bought gaffs during the boom and now complain. The Joneseseses.

Cazzoenorme

When you resemble Lester Burnham more and more each day. Your soul gradually dies as it realises your sole purpose for being ( spreading your seed far and wide) has been extinguished. You no longer feel joy and excitement, everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. You have been sedated

Boom_Bap

you can push your single beds together.

michael.dublin

then the headache starts

Sir Arthur Daley

dodderangler wrote: »

Why is people get married and then complain about it??

Some get married just for the big day experience and excitement.

OneArt

Your wife makes you show her your willy.

Kaycee2

You no longer have to hide your big sucky in knickers

WilyCoyote

Life's a bitch and then you die
That's why we get high
Cause you never know when you're gonna go
Life's a bitch and then you die.

Amen bro!

keithclancy

The toilet + wifi becomes your happy place.

Arnold Layne

The shaven haven becomes a dark forest

Turtyturd

You get taxed less.

c_man

You know you're married when....

You don't get yer Mam to do your washing anymore

oak5548

Candie wrote: »

I don't know why some people get married of their own free will and then behave like they've been tricked into a lifetime of house arrest afterwards.

Maybe because you're not married?

Akrasia

You know you're married when you've been having a bad year at work and it's really getting to you and your mood is suffering, and despite being a shadow of your former self, you still have someone who really wants to spend time with you and do things together and who shows more concern for your welfare more than you care for yourself.

You know you're married when you'll happily spend all day doing something you have no interest in doing because the pleasure you get from making your wife happy is far greater than the cost of giving up some personal free time.

Akrasia

Akrasia wrote: »

You know you're married when you've been having a bad year at work and it's really getting to you and your mood is suffering, and despite being a shadow of your former self, you still have someone who really wants to spend time with you and do things together and who shows more concern for your welfare more than you care for yourself.

You know you're married when you'll happily spend all day doing something you have no interest in doing because the pleasure you get from making your wife happy is far greater than the cost of giving up some personal free time.

Aw

If you weren't married, I'd be proposing!

guppy

Duggy747 wrote: »

After they got you to marry them, phase 2 begins where they now nag you for kids :eek:

Tell me about it, my husband was the same at the start.

Colser

keithclancy wrote: »

The toilet + wifi becomes your happy place.

Well that makes us happy too cos we dont have to look at ye thrown on the couch watching tv ...win win:)

suicide_circus

Cazzoenorme wrote: »

When you resemble Lester Burnham more and more each day. Your soul gradually dies as it realises your sole purpose for being ( spreading your seed far and wide) has been extinguished. You no longer feel joy and excitement, everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. You have been sedated

You should write for Hallmark

Raytown Rocks

When your cell mate tells you your married.

Nemeses

......Only in Vegas!

_Redzer_

RoboRat wrote: »

You only get to watch Match of the Day on Wednesday evening... when the wife is out :-(

Feel free to add your own :-)

Jesus, do you get castrated on your wedding day and lose your balls or something?

Do what you like, why would you let someone treat you like you're on house arrest?

Santa Cruz

OneArt wrote: »

Your wife makes you show her your willy.

Your wife shows you her willy. (so much for waiting till we get married)

RoboRat

You know you're married when you've been having a bad year at work and it's really getting to you and your mood is suffering, and despite being a shadow of your former self, you still have someone who really wants to spend time with you and do things together and who shows more concern for your welfare more than you care for yourself.

You know you're married when you'll happily spend all day doing something you have no interest in doing because the pleasure you get from making your wife happy is far greater than the cost of giving up some personal free time.

Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and son but sometimes I wish I had a man cave to step away from it all... I just like having time to myself where I don't have to talk to anybody.

Jesus, do you get castrated on your wedding day and lose your balls or something?

Do what you like, why would you let someone treat you like you're on house arrest?

Its not like I cant watch it with her but she just ends up talking all the way through any program she isn't interested in so I just don't bother as I just get pissed off.

blaze1

You know your married when you tell your wife you were sitting around watching match of the day but really as soon as you heard the door click you were straight on redtube, after 1 minute 36 seconds you logged on to boards to try and cover your sins.

Funkfield

Boom_Bap wrote: »

you can push your single beds together.

No mean feat when the bedrooms are across the landing from each other.

Kaycee2 wrote: »

You no longer have to hide your big sucky in knickers

Eh, wut? Do I wanna kn..... eh no, I'm happier not knowing.

mfceiling

Your chances of getting the ride depend on whether the bed linen has been changed and/or the amount of wine consumed...

Das Kitty

Funkfield wrote: »

No mean feat when the bedrooms are across the landing from each other.

*Obscure Frasier quote high five*

You know you're married when you want to share all the inane little experiences with your spouse, and if you're apart you spend your day texting over and back or just keep your IM window open all day. And you try not to descend into flirting, but always fail and end up embarrassed at work.

Colser

mfceiling wrote: »

Your chances of getting the ride depend on whether the bed linen has been changed and/or the amount of wine consumed...

Well wine is a must after a few years:pac: but whats with the bed linen? Dont want to dirty it or can only perform on clean sheets?

Das Kitty

You know you're married when you have incorporated countless pop-culture references into your daily speech, and neither of you can remember where most of them come from, until one day you're watching an old episode of the Simpsons, or Star Trek and both go "Ahhhh! That's it!" at the same time.

Czarcasm

You know you're married when the registrar says "I now pronounce you man and wife"...

Do they say that? I wasn't really paying attention, I just stood where I was told to stand and signed what I was told to sign, my wife made all the arrangements

burgermasters

When you are always wrong.

burgermasters

When you are always wrong.

burgermasters

When you are always wrong.

burgermasters

When you are always wrong.

burgermasters

When you are always wrong.

hoodwinked

you leave your friends on a night out to go home to bed with your husband!

mfceiling

burgermasters wrote: »

When you are always wrong.

burgermasters wrote: »

When you are always wrong.

burgermasters wrote: »

When you are always wrong.

burgermasters wrote: »

When you are always wrong.

burgermasters wrote: »

When you are always wrong.

When she tells you "i heard you the first time"