Daily Dilemmas

B_Rabbit · 13-05-2014 09:21AM #1

So you're getting on the bus, and tragically, there are no double seats free, so you're going to have to sit beside someone. Disaster. You put a brave face on and sit beside some offensively smelly, profusely sweating middle aged man, keeping as far away on the seat as possible.

Halfway through your journey, an opportunity presents itself. The two green bananas who were yabbering away for what seems like the last ten yearsm get off the bus, leaving a double seat free.

So you're left with a dilemma. Do you;

a) Move seat, insulting the man you were sitting beside.

b) Stay where you are, not wanting to shatter the relationship you've built up in the past 15 minutes, even at the risk of passing out from the smell.

Anyone else got dilemmas like this that happen on a regular basis?

dmc17 · 13-05-2014 09:24AM

You need to become the smelly man and you won't have to face this dilemma quite as often as people will avoid you and you'll have the seat to yourself.

Valetta · 13-05-2014 09:26AM

How's Jessica?

foggy_lad · 13-05-2014 09:27AM

Move seats for sure but offer the smelly man the ride before you move.

Donkey Oaty · 13-05-2014 09:29AM

Say to the smelly man: "Just going to move over there to give us both a bit more room. I know you'll understand - you're my best buddy!"

Slicemeister · 13-05-2014 09:30AM

How do know which m to put first in dilemma?

Seriously like?

Pinch Flat · 13-05-2014 09:30AM

A good fart generally cancels the smell of anything else around me....

Gongoozler · 13-05-2014 09:33AM

The problem I have in this situation is often I'll be getting up in one or two stops so I won't be arsed moving for that time, so I'm conscious that the person sitting beside me is silently cursing me for not moving.

MugMugs · 13-05-2014 09:35AM

B_Rabbit wrote: »

Anyone else got dilemmas like this that happen on a regular basis?

I had one not just five minutes ago.

Wipe back to front OR front to back !

I could'nt for the life of me decide !

fullaljackeen · 13-05-2014 09:44AM

Get a car.

Nemeses · 13-05-2014 09:48AM

MugMugs wrote: »

I had one not just five minutes ago.

Wipe back to front OR front to back !

I could'nt for the life of me decide !

Both directions usually work.

Also, if you use more than three sheets, you should probably take a shower..

Boombastic · 13-05-2014 09:51AM

toast or cornflakes, toast or cornflakes, toast or cornflakes, toast or cornflakes?

toast and cornflakes

newbie11 · 13-05-2014 09:51AM

Just move

gandalf · 13-05-2014 09:54AM

First world problem alert!

13-05-2014 09:54AM

I know exactly how you feel OP.

Like, today. I had to decide whether to take the Merc or the BMW to work. The Merc is older you see, and not as nice as the BMW. But the BMW is manual so, like, effort

So do I put a bit more work into getting where I'm going so that I look better getting there, or do I take the easier option and deal with looking like a povo in my 10 year old Merc?

13-05-2014 09:55AM

People always move to a free double seat if they're sitting beside someone
I don't see it as an insult

Boombastic · 13-05-2014 09:57AM

bluewolf wrote: »

People always move to a free double seat if they're sitting beside someone
I don't see it as an insult

hunds rule, innit

Satriale · 13-05-2014 09:59AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel OP.

Like, today. I had to decide whether to take the Merc or the BMW to work. The Merc is older you see, and not as nice as the BMW. But the BMW is manual so, like, effort

So do I put a bit more work into getting where I'm going so that I look better getting there, or do I take the easier option and deal with looking like a povo in my 10 year old Merc?

i've a 10 yo merc, please dont tell me i look like a povo.

13-05-2014 10:04AM

Boombastic wrote: »

hunds rule, innit

Wha?

13-05-2014 10:05AM

Satriale wrote: »

i've a 10 yo merc, please dont tell me i look like a povo.

As long as you're happy don't worry about what I think

Boombastic · 13-05-2014 10:09AM

bluewolf wrote: »

Wha?

HUNDS RULE

the bus seat rule, chemistry, innit

anncoates · 13-05-2014 10:11AM

I thought I was the only one that felt guilty if I immediately vacated a shared seat if a better seat (for me it would be a window seat) becomes available.

I almost want to apologize to the person and tell them that they're not smelly or weird.

jimgoose · 13-05-2014 10:11AM

Deleted User wrote: »

As long as you're happy don't worry about what I think

You don't look like a provo in a ten-year-old Merc. It's more complicated than that. Here, watch:

10-year-old S-Class: I am bowel-evacuatingly rich. Fuck off.
30-year-old S-Class: I am Idi Amin.
10-year-old E-Class: I am an antique dealer and possibly a part-time farmer.
30-year-old E-Class: I am a somewhat down-at-heel aristocrat. Bonus points are awarded for estate models.
10-year-old C-Class: I am a blithering idiot.
30-year-old C-Class: I live on top of a mountain in Mayo. I haven't had a bath since 1987 and recently married one of my goats.

Boombastic · 13-05-2014 10:13AM

jimgoose wrote: »

You don't look like a provo in a ten-year-old Merc. It's more complicated than that. Here, watch:

10-year-old S-Class: I am bowel-evacuatingly rich. Fuck off.
30-year-old S-Class: I am Idi Amin.
10-year-old E-Class: I am an antique dealer and possibly a part-time farmer.
30-year-old E-Class: I am a somewhat down-at-heel aristocrat. Bonus points are awarded for estate models.
10-year-old C-Class: I am a blithering idiot.
30-year-old C-Class: I live on top of a mountain in Mayo. I haven't had a bath since 1987 and recently married one of my goats.

or just put on a balaclava

Turtyturd · 13-05-2014 10:19AM

It's even worse when you are on the bus first and the fat smelly bloke traps you on the inside. But I find trying to lick your ear as they walk towards you puts them off.

jimgoose · 13-05-2014 10:26AM

Boombastic wrote: »

or just put on a balaclava

It was a lot easier in the old days. All you needed was a purple Mk. III Cortina with a vinyl roof and spot-lamps.

turnikett1 · 13-05-2014 10:30AM

I always move seats. I'm sure the person I'm sitting beside whom I've built such a deep connection with will surely understand it's more comofortable and preferrable to sit by yourself.

travis1976 · 13-05-2014 10:35AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel OP.

Like, today. I had to decide whether to take the Merc or the BMW to work. The Merc is older you see, and not as nice as the BMW. But the BMW is manual so, like, effort

So do I put a bit more work into getting where I'm going so that I look better getting there, or do I take the easier option and deal with looking like a povo in my 10 year old Merc?

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: Jesus, I thought I had problems...

Turtyturd · 13-05-2014 10:41AM

Although I have to admit I get a nice laugh when someone moves seat and at the next stop someone gets on and sits beside them, leaving the first person they were originally sitting beside with a free seat.

Boombastic · 13-05-2014 10:43AM

jimgoose wrote: »

It was a lot easier in the old days. All you needed was a purple Mk. III Cortina with a vinyl roof and spot-lamps.

the provos aren't what they used to be, no vinyl roofs anymore, now it's all bullet proof vests

B_Rabbit · 13-05-2014 11:07AM

I think she meant povo, as in a poor person.

Daily Dilemmas

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