Are you a Bear Grylls?

Ghost Buster wrote: »

Rather be stuck with Ray Mears though. Whilst Bear would be locating the vilest cack to eat ray would have a birds egg omlette with fresh fish whipped up and some berries for dessert. Then a nice shelter and a fire for later

+1000. The diff between Ray and Bear? Ray goes into the wilderness armed only with an axe and three months later would(and did in one case) come out fatter than when he went in. Bear builds a makeshift raft outa flotsam and jetsam, Ray builds a birch bark canoe. Bear eats camel testicles raw, Ray eats spitroasted wild boar with all the trimmings. Bear huddles around a small campfire(when not in his hotel), Ray reclines on a moss chaise lounge with a body length fire to keep him cosy. Bear avoids local hunter gatherers in case they find him out, Ray shows them all sorts of tricks he's picked up and the locals think "this fat* English bloke seems to know his shíte". Plus while Bear is aiming at the short attention span MTV crowd(and fair enough) Ray gives so much more local background, history and information.

Nothing agin Bear BTW. He's clearly a tough bugger and mad with it, but given a choice between shivering in a cleft in the rock with Bear or reclining with a fat belly, while Ray whittles up a widescreen telly with netflix, I'll take Ray please.

Me? I can start a fire without matches. I can knap flint/stone tools(mostly Neandertal stylee*) and can survive on feck all food.




*If Ray ever reads this, no offence oul son. Fact is you're a big lad and you stay being a big lad even after three months in the Kalahari or the depths of Alaska. Nuff said. Respect.

** and that's me tooting my own horn here BTW as their stuff is arguably harder than our later modern stuff. Though to be fair my Levallois technique is well out of practice.