Are you a Bear Grylls?

Doom

Well can you kill, skin and eat?
Build shelter, start a fire, solve things fast, survive?

I reckon I am, I can build, hunt, kill, cook, quick to solve a problem. I'm generally an outdoors persons, love nature.

wazky

Doom wrote: »

Well can you kill, skin and eat?
Build shelter, start a fire, solve things fast, survive?

I reckon I am, I can build, hunt, kill, cook, quick to solve a problems, I'm generally an outdoors persons, love nature.

Can you drink your own urine though?

B.A._Baracus

Doom wrote: »

Well can you kill, skin and eat?
Build shelter, start a fire, solve things fast, survive?

I reckon I am, I can build, hunt, kill, cook, quick to solve a problems, I'm generally an outdoors persons, love nature.

Question: Have you actually:

- Killed
- Skinned
- then eat said killed and skinned animal?

If the answer is no, how do you know are you :pac:

Sir Arthur Daley

wazky wrote: »

Can you drink your own urine though?

Can you drink other peoples urine? i love it.

Tokyo

Doom wrote: »

Well can you kill, skin and eat?
Build shelter, start a fire, solve things fast, survive?

I reckon I am, I can build, hunt, kill, cook, quick to solve a problems, I'm generally an outdoors persons, love nature.

That man is comedy at its best - there isn't another show out there that better captures the excitement of a daredevil showoff with no attention span making a mockery out of nature.

Doom

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Question: Have you actually:

- Killed
- Skinned
- then eat said killed and skinned animal?

If the answer is no, how do you know are you :pac:

-yes
-yes
-yes ;-)

The One Doctor

Nope, but I wouldn't want to be. Grylls made most of his fame by lying his arse off about various achievements - saying he's done things that he never actually did. He's been exposed as a bit of a fraud by now.

Ray Mears is honest and very interesting. Far easier to relate to him then some adrenaline junkie with a penchant for telling porkies about his achievements.

LeinsterDub

Though this was going to be about sexism

Ghost Buster

Doom wrote: »

Well can you kill, skin and eat?
Build shelter, start a fire, solve things fast, survive?

I reckon I am, I can build, hunt, kill, cook, quick to solve a problems, I'm generally an outdoors persons, love nature.

I prefer to think Im a Ray Mears.
I can canoe, shoot a bow dam well, identify wild foods, start a fire, trap and kill etc but do so in a way that wont needlessly kill me.

wazky

Doom wrote: »

-yes
-yes
-yes ;-)

Murdering next doors cat and bbq'ing it doesn't count though.

Tokyo

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Question: Have you actually:

- Killed
- Skinned
- then eat said killed and skinned animal?

If the answer is no, how do you know are you :pac:

yes, yes, yes

Sir Osis of Liver.

Does the pope sh1t in the woods?

Doom

The One Doctor wrote: »

Nope, but I wouldn't want to be. Grylls made most of his fame by lying his arse off about various achievements - saying he's done things that he never actually did. He's been exposed as a bit of a fraud by now.

Maybe a bit of elaboration, but I rather be stuck with him than you in a jungle or desert

Doom

wazky wrote: »

Can you drink your own urine though?

Distillation :-)

B.A._Baracus

Doom wrote: »

-yes
-yes
-yes ;-)

mike_ie wrote: »

yes, yes, yes

Savages.

*adjusts monocle while eating venison*

Ghost Buster

Doom wrote: »

Maybe a bit of elaboration, but I rather be stuck with him than you in a jungle or desert

Rather be stuck with Ray Mears though. Whilst Bear would be locating the vilest cack to eat ray would have a birds egg omlette with fresh fish whipped up and some berries for dessert. Then a nice shelter and a fire for later

Doom

wazky wrote: »

Murdering next doors cat and bbq'ing it doesn't count though.

Really...feck

Frosty McSnowballs

Yep, I can indeed.

mikeym

Bear Grylls is a bluffer.

He doesnt spend the night out in the ground.

Hes in a hotel.

Tokyo

Bear Grylls, surviving in the west of Ireland by pulling a dead sheep out of a bog, turning it inside out, and using it as a sleeping bag.... :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Ghost Buster

mike_ie wrote: »

Bear Grylls, surviving in the west of Ireland by pulling a dead sheep out of a bog, turning it inside out, and using it as a sleeping bag.... :rolleyes::rolleyes:

The west of Ireland. Where youre never more than a mile from a B and B:eek:

Stained Class

I'm more of a MacGyver myself.:cool:

Ruu

Yes, I have stayed in some lovely hotels.

Tokyo

Ghost Buster wrote: »

The west of Ireland. Where youre never more than a mile from a B and B:eek:

Yep - I used to fish and climb where he first came ashore. It must have been a serious effort to angle the cameras to keep the houses out of shot...

Stavros Murphy

Bear Grylls - provider of stock to TK Maxx. He appeals to people who have never been fcuked off the back of an army truck and made fend for themselves - armchair survivalists. I prefer heat, booze and caviar tbh. Survivalism sucks, and it's fcuking cold out there too.

Ghost Buster

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

Bear Grylls - provider of stock to TK Maxx. He appeals to people who have never been fcuked off the back of an army truck and made fend for themselves - armchair survivalists. I prefer heat, booze and caviar tbh. Survivalism sucks, and it's fcuking cold out there too.

99.9 percent of us are simply big kids playing and shouldnt claim otherwise.
Yup I often sod off into the woods or off to a lake island but only in good weather. Almost always in a tent or at least a hammock and a tarp and always bring food and my 8 year old to keep me in line. Yes i can catch fish and prepare and cook them but i dont hunt rabbits or fowl and such. I can and do know how to skin them but only cos i grew up on a farm.
Its a hobby and a silly one at that but its makes old fellas feel like young fellas!

demanufactured

Doom wrote: »

Well can you kill, skin and eat?
Build shelter, start a fire, solve things fast, survive?

I reckon I am, I can build, hunt, kill, cook, quick to solve a problems, I'm generally an outdoors persons, love nature.

And stay in hotels after the show?

MonkieSocks

mike_ie wrote: »

That man is comedy at its best - there isn't another show out there that better captures the excitement of a daredevil showoff with no attention span making a mockery out of nature.

Mike

Ya have to see this pair :rolleyes:

Best Comedy Survival Show Ever


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3339282/

Micky Dolenz

I've eaten a few cows in my day.

Timmyctc

mike_ie wrote: »

Bear Grylls, surviving in the west of Ireland by pulling a dead sheep out of a bog, turning it inside out, and using it as a sleeping bag.... :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Ghost Buster wrote: »

The west of Ireland. Where youre never more than a mile from a B and B:eek:

His point is more to do with if you had to survive in this particular type of environment. Not actually if you wandered a bit too far from the only road in Connemara

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

Bear Grylls - provider of stock to TK Maxx. He appeals to people who have never been fcuked off the back of an army truck and made fend for themselves - armchair survivalists. I prefer heat, booze and caviar tbh. Survivalism sucks, and it's fcuking cold out there too.

Grylls is actually quite good at what he does believe it or not. Man knows how to survive. Youngest Chieft scout ever brah. Nearly paralyzed himself climbing Everest. Broke his back I think. Why not make money out of a cheesy tv show.

Stavros Murphy

Timmyctc wrote: »

Grylls is actually quite good at what he does believe it or not. Man knows how to survive. Youngest Chieft scout ever brah. Nearly paralyzed himself climbing Everest. Broke his back I think. Why not make money out of a cheesy tv show.

I know, and not for one second am I questioning the "why" of what he does - fair fecks to him, good take, good sale. I'm just saying the "glamour" of survivalism is muppetry, cos it's shyte. I'd rather a warm bed and some horlix and I've frozen my hole off on many a welsh mountain with a dead sheep for company.:)

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Of course Bear Grylls stays in a hotel at night during filming. He's there to show you how to survive out in the open. Kinda like the "here's one I made earlier" part of the cookery programmes. Doesn't mean he has to sleep in a cave every feckin night, or dine on his own piss and roadkill..

Wibbs

Ghost Buster wrote: »

Rather be stuck with Ray Mears though. Whilst Bear would be locating the vilest cack to eat ray would have a birds egg omlette with fresh fish whipped up and some berries for dessert. Then a nice shelter and a fire for later

+1000. The diff between Ray and Bear? Ray goes into the wilderness armed only with an axe and three months later would(and did in one case) come out fatter than when he went in. Bear builds a makeshift raft outa flotsam and jetsam, Ray builds a birch bark canoe. Bear eats camel testicles raw, Ray eats spitroasted wild boar with all the trimmings. Bear huddles around a small campfire(when not in his hotel), Ray reclines on a moss chaise lounge with a body length fire to keep him cosy. Bear avoids local hunter gatherers in case they find him out, Ray shows them all sorts of tricks he's picked up and the locals think "this fat* English bloke seems to know his shíte". Plus while Bear is aiming at the short attention span MTV crowd(and fair enough) Ray gives so much more local background, history and information.

Nothing agin Bear BTW. He's clearly a tough bugger and mad with it, but given a choice between shivering in a cleft in the rock with Bear or reclining with a fat belly, while Ray whittles up a widescreen telly with netflix, I'll take Ray please.

Me? I can start a fire without matches. I can knap flint/stone tools(mostly Neandertal stylee*) and can survive on feck all food.




*If Ray ever reads this, no offence oul son. Fact is you're a big lad and you stay being a big lad even after three months in the Kalahari or the depths of Alaska. Nuff said. Respect.

** and that's me tooting my own horn here BTW as their stuff is arguably harder than our later modern stuff. Though to be fair my Levallois technique is well out of practice.

Lou.m

Doom wrote: »

Well can you kill, skin and eat?
Build shelter, start a fire, solve things fast, survive?

I reckon I am, I can build, hunt, kill, cook, quick to solve a problems, I'm generally an outdoors persons, love nature.

oh no need creature comforts.

Karl Stein

I'd consider myself fairly resourceful. I was camping in Austria for a couple of weeks and by the time we were leaving the tent had a 'wooden' floor (old beauty board someone was chucking out), a kitchen of sorts that I'd made from getting three crates and stacking them, a washing line and a soft foam floor in the sleeping compartment. All stuff I'd harvested from the recycling area.

Micky Dolenz

When I was in the service, a four person team had to survive for 16 days with only enough water for 2 days and no food. Sure does teach you a thing or two about yourself and your comrades. We formed close bonds though, except for Rasher, sadly he didn't make it. We did carry him inside us for a while though. Never forgotten.

Sauve

I'll do the 'navigate us the feck out of here before some mad yoke decides to make a bed out of a tree trunk' job.

discus

Yup. Chickens, fish and only 2 months ago, reindeer. Felt bad doing that. Couldn't bring myself to drink the blood from the neck though, it was too soon after christmas.

discus

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

Bear Grylls - provider of stock to TK Maxx. He appeals to people who have never been fcuked off the back of an army truck and made fend for themselves - armchair survivalists. I prefer heat, booze and caviar tbh. Survivalism sucks, and it's fcuking cold out there too.

Man, nail on the head. The only plonkers I know in the army who like bear grylls are the REMFs who turn down any opportunity to actual learn how to live in the field. Good for you being straight about it, nothing wrong with liking booze, heat and caviar!!

Stavros Murphy

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

When I was in the service, a four person team had to survive for 16 days with only enough water for 2 days and no food. Sure does teach you a thing or two about yourself and your comrades. We formed close bonds though, except for Rasher, sadly he didn't make it. We did carry him inside us for a while though. Never forgotten.

"Rasher -we couldn't save your bacon, but, to us, you're always crispy".

mosstin

Ghost Buster wrote: »

I prefer to think Im a Ray Mears.
I can canoe, shoot a bow dam well, identify wild foods, start a fire, trap and kill etc but do so in a way that wont needlessly kill me.

I like Ray Mears' honesty. Saw a programme of his once where he tried to light a fire by rubbing two sticks together - took him an eternity, he ended up with large blisters and didn't get the fire going at all. Bear Grylls is a bit more Harry Potter.

Stained Class

discus wrote: »

Man, nail on the head. The only plonkers I know in the army who like bear grylls are the REMFs who turn down any opportunity to actual learn how to live in the field. Good for you being straight about it, nothing wrong with liking booze, heat and caviar!!

Saw a programme on TV many years ago about the British Army.

One senior guy explained how attitudes differ as you get older. He said.

'When you're 25, the idea of standing waist deep in water in full kit with your mates seems like a bit of fun. At 35 you'll put up with it. By the time your 45, it's the last place you want to be!

EoghanIRL

The Ireland episode - "sheeping bag " .
I laughed so hard .

Diane Selwyn

Forget that - a few years ago I ended up in Ilulissat Greenland (on a reasonably cushy package hiking type tour btw - the only thing I ever skin before I eat is a banana). So one day I popped along to check out the local natural history museum/somebody's front room which had a display about local lad Knud Rasmussen who travelled all around the Arctic in the early 20th century by dog sled in a pretty stylish 3 piece suit - maybe with some extra thick woolly socks but certainly no gortex or under armour for that guy.

mosstin

Diane Selwyn wrote: »

Forget that - a few years ago I ended up in Ilulissat Greenland (on a reasonably cushy package hiking type tour btw - the only thing I ever skin before I eat is a banana). So one day I popped along to check out the local natural history museum/somebody's front room which had a display about local lad Knud Rasmussen who travelled all around the Arctic in the early 20th century by dog sled in a pretty stylish 3 piece suit - maybe with some extra thick woolly socks but certainly no gortex or under armour for that guy.

Obligatory 'I've been to Greenland' post. Thread isn't the same without at least one.

Diane Selwyn

ha busted - in fairness its not cheap to get there but worth it

Doom

mike_ie wrote: »

Bear Grylls, surviving in the west of Ireland by pulling a dead sheep out of a bog, turning it inside out, and using it as a sleeping bag.... :rolleyes::rolleyes:

I love the one with the seal, puts on the skin as a jumper.

--LOS--

mike_ie wrote: »

Bear Grylls, surviving in the west of Ireland by pulling a dead sheep out of a bog, turning it inside out, and using it as a sleeping bag.... :rolleyes::rolleyes:

He was in Limerick city too...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLSXRpKMohE

outdoors247

Teaches you the most exciting ways to kill yourself in the wild and always seems to end up running down the dreaded scree slope ha ha