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Hardmen are tough nuts to crack...

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Comments

  • #32
    stoneill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,607 ✭✭✭stoneill


    homeless student wrote: »
    next time he says anything smart, take out you AK 47 and riddle him with bullets, laugh hysterically for a while, then get a round in. no one will ever make fun of you again;)

    Why are you riddling people?

    Ten bullets, when the one would do?

    To make sure he died.

    Lads, try and remember they don't grow on trees.

    - What don't they grow on? - Trees.

    Get out.


  • #33
    Barely There
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Barely There


    Tell him he's really hurt your feelings and then start to cry.


  • #34
    Davarus Walrus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,280 ✭✭✭Davarus Walrus


    Couple of right Internet 'ardmen around here. They normally drop after 8PM. Huge fúckers with hands the size of shovels, a stare that would turn a charging bull, and a back so broad you could play handball against it. Daycent sorts though. They'd knock lumps out of your friend, but then buy him a pint afterwards. Not the sort to hold a grudge. They learned to fight on the streets, but learned to forgive in the school of hard knocks. Graduates from the University of Life, they might even have a few wise words to offer your friend.


  • #35
    WilyCoyote
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,059 ✭✭✭WilyCoyote


    Creep up behind him .......... no need for the tuba ......... and hum this frenetically into his ear'ole:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-NVMsj6lXA


  • #36
    BBDBB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    Have you considered a Youtube campaign where you take your shirt off and rant directly to camera for 10 minutes in absolute gibberish punctured with expletives, bragging and incomprehensible mumblings?


    It seems the done thing these days if you want to challenge someone to a fight


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  • #37
    Sam Kade
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,297 ✭✭✭✭Sam Kade


    TheCoolWay wrote: »
    Hoping someone may have some advice on this.

    I have a friend of a friend, a lad who is a genuine, sound lad when he's on his own. Would do anything for you, decent in the pub etc.

    However, of course whenever you meet him in a group, he always tries to act like he's the hardest man around, with a big mouth insulting people trying to be cool, and appears to target me more than anyone. I rarely snap back as I know that this will feed his 'banter'. I've never done anything bad to him in the past to cause this.

    Just wondering what's the best way people have found to put someone like this back in their box? Pretty obvious he has his own small issues that make him act like this.

    Meet him at least once weekly and been getting on my nerves for a while now.
    So he is more of a two faced bollox than a hard man.


  • #38
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Insult him the fùck back, people do things like that in front of others to appear like they're constantly funny and witty.

    He'd be quick to stop if you insult him in front of the lads, if he throws a strop and gets aggressive then he's only a useless dickhead you don't need in your life who's using you as fodder to make himself look better.


  • #39
    Gandalph
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,895 ✭✭✭Gandalph


    Is your friend a giraffe? Does he speak swahili? If so, throw snowballs at him until he falls out of his tree house and then rob his gold.


  • #40
    gugleguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,959 ✭✭✭gugleguy


    stoneill wrote: »
    Is his name Biff Tannen?
    So now what you need is...
    1. Go up North and see if you can get a De Lorean
    2. Find a mad scientist. The more local the better
    3. Get the scientist to mod the De Lorean for Time Travel.
    4. Go Back in time to when the bloke was a wee lil' slip of a lad and let'em have it.
    5. Watch your hands and see that they don't start dissappearing.
    6. Time travel back to today.
    7. You should now be the MAIN MAN


  • #41
    Pa2k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 42 ✭Pa2k


    Don't react by hitting him or anything like that. The next time he acts like this in front of the group you stay cool and look him directly in the eyes and say "You seem very insecure about something is everything ok?". I can guarantee he will not have a response


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  • #42
    Sir Osis of Liver.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,820 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    Get your local witch doctor to put a spell on the c unt.


  • #43
    kumate_champ07
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,150 ✭✭✭kumate_champ07


    hes intimated by you, if you want you can assert dominance over him. depending on how emotionally in touch he is you can have a word in his ear, or go the alpha male route


  • #44
    Alf. A. Male
    Closed Accounts Posts: 740 ✭✭✭Alf. A. Male


    kumate_champ07 wrote: »
    go the alpha male route

    Not sure what help I can be, but I'll give it a go.


  • #45
    leonidas83
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,065 ✭✭✭leonidas83


    TheCoolWay wrote: »
    Hoping someone may have some advice on this.

    I have a friend of a friend, a lad who is a genuine, sound lad when he's on his own. Would do anything for you, decent in the pub etc.

    However, of course whenever you meet him in a group, he always tries to act like he's the hardest man around, with a big mouth insulting people trying to be cool, and appears to target me more than anyone. I rarely snap back as I know that this will feed his 'banter'. I've never done anything bad to him in the past to cause this.

    Just wondering what's the best way people have found to put someone like this back in their box? Pretty obvious he has his own small issues that make him act like this.

    Meet him at least once weekly and been getting on my nerves for a while now.


    Get your mates to hold him down on the ground for a joke, then drop your pants & rub your bare arse all over his face. See who's acting the big man then


  • #46
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,189 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    I like the licking of the face idea, can we go with that?


  • #47
    Jonny Blaze
    Closed Accounts Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Jonny Blaze


    Challenge him to a cage match, preferably via a big microphone hanging down from the rafters.


  • #48
    gugleguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,959 ✭✭✭gugleguy


    kowloon wrote: »
    I like the licking of the face idea, can we go with that?
    Bring along your own squirty sauce. Sweet: Fresh Cream Savoury: Yorkshire Relish / Chef Tomato Ketchup


  • #49
    gugleguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,959 ✭✭✭gugleguy


    Why not have a real life Celebrity Deathmatch like this?



  • #50
    TheCoolWay
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 454 ✭✭TheCoolWay


    Pa2k wrote: »
    Don't react by hitting him or anything like that. The next time he acts like this in front of the group you stay cool and look him directly in the eyes and say "You seem very insecure about something is everything ok?". I can guarantee he will not have a response

    Response of the day


  • #51
    hefferboi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,379 ✭✭✭hefferboi


    Nut the cnut in the jabber.


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  • #52
    Corvo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,811 ✭✭✭Corvo


    A well timed "what the **** is your problem" along with a steely glare and putting down your pint firmly should let him know that your sick if his bolloxology


  • #53
    Chorcai
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,283 ✭✭✭Chorcai


    Just do the slow clap

    http://media2.giphy.com/media/SdBLLNjBONYEE/giphy.gif


  • #54
    RayM
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,973 ✭✭✭RayM


    The funniest thing about self-styled 'hard men' is the way their accent changes and their voice rises or drops by a whole octave, depending on who they're talking to. Next time you're out with him, invite his mum along too.


  • #55
    TheCoolWay
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 454 ✭✭TheCoolWay


    Wow. Thanks for all the responses and 'responses' guys, gave me a laugh.

    I've known him a long time I guess, he's related to a member of a group of friends so not like I can cut him out completely.

    He's a nice guy deep down, just need the perfect way to make a tool out of him, a balance of effectiveness and politeness (as will be likely in a crowd at the time) I guess.


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