Parents who overindulge their children.

Ralf and Florian · 23-04-2014 05:39PM #1

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

GenieOz · 23-04-2014 05:45PM

Thought this was gonna be another thread about obese kids. Mildly disappointed.

23-04-2014 05:48PM

Their kids may be the centre of their universe though.

AnonoBoy · 23-04-2014 05:49PM

Sorry to hear you're barren OP.

I am pie · 23-04-2014 05:49PM

The child is probably the centre of their universe and I imagine their couldn't give a shyte about what you thought of their level of conversation, I imagine they didn't spend their lunch hour listening to your conversation.

The father might have not had much time for the kid during the week and was spoiling him with attention. He might have had a row with the missus on the way in the car and was avoiding a confration by directing his attention to the kid. A million reasons.

No need to judge based on a snapshop of a few minutes of their lives.

Son Of A Vidic · 23-04-2014 05:52PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Sorry to hear you're barren OP.

Or possibly just smart.

Chucken · 23-04-2014 05:54PM

So now paying attention to your child is over indulging them?

Muise... · 23-04-2014 05:55PM

I am pie wrote: »

The child is probably the centre of their universe and I imagine their couldn't give a shyte about what you thought of their level of conversation, I imagine they didn't spend their lunch hour listening to your conversation.

The father might have not had much time for the kid during the week and was spoiling him with attention. He might have had a row with the missus on the way in the car and was avoiding a confration by directing his attention to the kid. A million reasons.

No need to judge based on a snapshop of a few minutes of their lives.

I don't think the OP is judging; I think s/he is wondering if this observation is shared by others and if it means anything in the wider scheme of things. But now we're drawing breeder/non-breeder lines. Great.

23-04-2014 05:55PM

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

Maybe mind your own business and don't listen in to other peoples conversations. I find some of the fawning people do over kids to be stomach churning but for most with kids, their kids are the center of their world and take precedented over all else.

It's also important to note that the parents could have been trying to get the child to talk. There may be developmental issues and the conversation could have been the parents attempts to get the child to engage with them.

phasers · 23-04-2014 05:55PM

Is talking to your kids not fairly normal?

gugleguy · 23-04-2014 05:56PM

well, were the parents taking constant photos of their offspring with their smartphone? That's where basic overindulgence presently starts. They're only atypical parents imho

darkdubh · 23-04-2014 05:56PM

I am pie wrote: »

The child is probably the centre of their universe and I imagine their couldn't give a shyte about what you thought of their level of conversation, I imagine they didn't spend their lunch hour listening to your conversation.

The father might have not had much time for the kid during the week and was spoiling him with attention. He might have had a row with the missus on the way in the car and was avoiding a confration by directing his attention to the kid. A million reasons.

No need to judge based on a snapshop of a few minutes of their lives.

I think the OP has a point.Its a very middle class phenomenom.A lot of them treat their kids like little princesses and princes who are going to have a severe land when they enter the real world and find that not everyone thinks they're as fantastic as Mummy and Doddy do.

mikom · 23-04-2014 05:57PM

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

Yeah.
I prefer my parents shovelling supermacs chips into their children whilst calling them "little fuckers" and clipping them round the ear.

Little Acorn · 23-04-2014 06:00PM

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

They probably are the centre of their universe though. I don't have nor want kids yet (or possibly ever) myself. In your situation though I'd probably be more annoyed by a child acting bratty and screaming and running wildly around the place than a father cooing over his kid. I'd probably just find that really sweet tbh. Both of own parents have passed away though so I'm a bit of a sucker for anything soppy demonstrating love between parent and child. Would have put a smile on my face I'd say or made me tear up depending on my mood.

I think I may agree that some kids could do with spending more time forming their own games/using their imagination instead of being constantly pandered to but I don't really think your story is an example of that. Just sounds like a doting father and don't see the harm there at all.

gugleguy · 23-04-2014 06:00PM

mikom wrote: »

Yeah.
I prefer my parents shovelling supermacs chips into their children whilst calling them "little fuckers" and clipping them round the ear.

or "little scroats" and lay on the smacks

Muise... · 23-04-2014 06:01PM

mikom wrote: »

Yeah.
I prefer my parents shovelling supermacs chips into their children whilst calling them "little fuckers" and clipping them round the ear.

Such a pity there are only these two options available to parents.

Ralf and Florian · 23-04-2014 06:01PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Maybe mind your own business and don't listen in to other peoples conversations. I find some of the fawning people do over kids to be stomach churning but for most with kids, their kids are the center of their world and take precedented over all else.

It's also important to note that the parents could have been trying to get the child to talk. There may be developmental issues and the conversation could have been the parents attempts to get the child to engage with them.

Mind my own business?Did you read the thread?This guy was going on like this at the top of his voice in a fairly small confined space almost non stop for a least half an hour.There were other people in there just as annoyed as I was judging by some of the looks he got.Of course theres nothing wrong with talking to your children but theres a time and place.

I am pie · 23-04-2014 06:01PM

darkdubh wrote: »

I think the OP has a point.Its a very middle class phenomenom.A lot of them treat their kids like little princesses and princes who are going to have a severe land when they enter the real world and find that not everyone thinks they're as fantastic as Mummy and Doddy do.

Talking to your kids = treating them like princesses?

Holy fck.

To me it's perfectly normal, cooey cooey, bit of affection. Big deal. I would think complaining about that in a public setting to be fairly self absorbed. Different if they were in a high end restaurant or somewhere requiring a bit of quiet.

You'd hardly expect parents to ask their toddler what they thought of the football last night or whether they support the Russians in Ukraine.. do you?

What a world, were a bit of parental affection over lunch can be construed as an annoyance!

I am pie · 23-04-2014 06:04PM

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Mind my own business?Did you read the thread?This guy was going on like this at the top of his voice in a fairly small confined space almost non stop for a least half an hour.There were other people in there just as annoyed as I was judging by some of the looks he got.Of course theres nothing wrong with talking to your children but theres a time and place.

Is your complaint that he was speaking at too high a volume?? Wow. In a restaurant, at lunch.

I doubt he was speaking that loud as it would frighten the child.

Ann Landers · 23-04-2014 06:04PM

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

Right, but you're not supposed to be.

Even if they were loud, you were eavesdropping. They weren't being loud for your benefit.

Muise... · 23-04-2014 06:04PM

I am pie wrote: »

Talking to your kids = treating them like princesses?

Holy fck.

To me it's perfectly normal, cooey cooey, bit of affection. Big deal. I would think complaining about that in a public setting to be fairly self absorbed. Different if they were in a high end restaurant or somewhere requiring a bit of quiet.

You'd hardly expect parents to ask their toddler what they thought of the football last night or whether they support the Russians in Ukraine.. do you?

What a world, were a bit of parental affection over lunch can be construed as an annoyance!

OP said it was loud, continuous and everyone in the room noticed it. Not simply "talking to" children.

23-04-2014 06:05PM

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Mind my own business?Did you read the thread?This guy was going on like this at the top of his voice in a fairly small confined space almost non stop for a least half an hour.There were other people in there just as annoyed as I was judging by some of the looks he got.Of course theres nothing wrong with talking to your children but theres a time and place.

So rather than politely inform the person in question that he was being a little loud you decided to do nothing and post about it on boards. I never knew that there were certain times and places where you were supposed to talk to your kids. I assumed that you could do it pretty much anywhere bar the theater.

Sir Arthur Daley · 23-04-2014 06:05PM

If i am picking up on the op correctly i too would be fairly annoyed at this, would turn me right off my food, sounds to me he was making a scene for everyone.

Calibos · 23-04-2014 06:06PM

Don't get me wrong, I think parents can over indulge their kids. Not sure this is a good example of it though.

Its parents who inflict unusual names on their kids that get me goat. EG. Names like Ralf and Florian.

Micky Dolenz · 23-04-2014 06:06PM

Kids should be banned.

I am pie · 23-04-2014 06:07PM

Muise... wrote: »

OP said it was loud, continuous and everyone in the room noticed it. Not simply "talking to" children.

I doubt it was that loud to be honest, with a small child? I don't believe that.

Ralf and Florian · 23-04-2014 06:08PM

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.Kids might want to do their own thing and scribble in a colouring book or play with their toys and not feel smothered with attention from their parents who can't stop talking about them or indulging them for five minuites.

mikom · 23-04-2014 06:08PM

My young lad usually does this when eating at a small restaurant........

I am pie · 23-04-2014 06:09PM

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.Kids might want to do their own thing and scribble in a colouring book or play with their toys and not feel smothered with attention from their parents who can't stop talking about them or indulging them for five minuites.

I wholeheartedly agree with your first sentence, or at least the second part of it.

whupdedo · 23-04-2014 06:10PM

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

I hate them bastards too, and ill hate they're kids in time as well

Chucken · 23-04-2014 06:10PM

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.Kids might want to do their own thing and scribble in a colouring book or play with their toys and not feel smothered with attention from their parents who can't stop talking about them or indulging them for five minuites.

Trust me, when a toddler is fed up of mammy or daddy talking, they will wander off and "do their own thing"
And then we have the next thread...
Can't win with some people.

Parents who overindulge their children.

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