Parents who overindulge their children.

Ralf and Florian

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

GenieOz

Thought this was gonna be another thread about obese kids. Mildly disappointed.

Their kids may be the centre of their universe though.

AnonoBoy

Sorry to hear you're barren OP.

I am pie

The child is probably the centre of their universe and I imagine their couldn't give a shyte about what you thought of their level of conversation, I imagine they didn't spend their lunch hour listening to your conversation.

The father might have not had much time for the kid during the week and was spoiling him with attention. He might have had a row with the missus on the way in the car and was avoiding a confration by directing his attention to the kid. A million reasons.

No need to judge based on a snapshop of a few minutes of their lives.

Son Of A Vidic

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Sorry to hear you're barren OP.

Or possibly just smart.

Chucken

So now paying attention to your child is over indulging them?

Muise...

I am pie wrote: »

The child is probably the centre of their universe and I imagine their couldn't give a shyte about what you thought of their level of conversation, I imagine they didn't spend their lunch hour listening to your conversation.

The father might have not had much time for the kid during the week and was spoiling him with attention. He might have had a row with the missus on the way in the car and was avoiding a confration by directing his attention to the kid. A million reasons.

No need to judge based on a snapshop of a few minutes of their lives.

I don't think the OP is judging; I think s/he is wondering if this observation is shared by others and if it means anything in the wider scheme of things. But now we're drawing breeder/non-breeder lines. Great.

Ralf and Florian

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

Maybe mind your own business and don't listen in to other peoples conversations. I find some of the fawning people do over kids to be stomach churning but for most with kids, their kids are the center of their world and take precedented over all else.

It's also important to note that the parents could have been trying to get the child to talk. There may be developmental issues and the conversation could have been the parents attempts to get the child to engage with them.

phasers

Is talking to your kids not fairly normal?

gugleguy

well, were the parents taking constant photos of their offspring with their smartphone? That's where basic overindulgence presently starts. They're only atypical parents imho

darkdubh

I am pie wrote: »

The child is probably the centre of their universe and I imagine their couldn't give a shyte about what you thought of their level of conversation, I imagine they didn't spend their lunch hour listening to your conversation.

The father might have not had much time for the kid during the week and was spoiling him with attention. He might have had a row with the missus on the way in the car and was avoiding a confration by directing his attention to the kid. A million reasons.

No need to judge based on a snapshop of a few minutes of their lives.

I think the OP has a point.Its a very middle class phenomenom.A lot of them treat their kids like little princesses and princes who are going to have a severe land when they enter the real world and find that not everyone thinks they're as fantastic as Mummy and Doddy do.

mikom

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

Yeah.
I prefer my parents shovelling supermacs chips into their children whilst calling them "little fuckers" and clipping them round the ear.

Little Acorn

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

They probably are the centre of their universe though. I don't have nor want kids yet (or possibly ever) myself. In your situation though I'd probably be more annoyed by a child acting bratty and screaming and running wildly around the place than a father cooing over his kid. I'd probably just find that really sweet tbh. Both of own parents have passed away though so I'm a bit of a sucker for anything soppy demonstrating love between parent and child. Would have put a smile on my face I'd say or made me tear up depending on my mood.
I think I may agree that some kids could do with spending more time forming their own games/using their imagination instead of being constantly pandered to but I don't really think your story is an example of that. Just sounds like a doting father and don't see the harm there at all.

gugleguy

mikom wrote: »

Yeah.
I prefer my parents shovelling supermacs chips into their children whilst calling them "little fuckers" and clipping them round the ear.

or "little scroats" and lay on the smacks

Muise...

mikom wrote: »

Yeah.
I prefer my parents shovelling supermacs chips into their children whilst calling them "little fuckers" and clipping them round the ear.

Such a pity there are only these two options available to parents.

Ralf and Florian

Deleted User wrote: »

Maybe mind your own business and don't listen in to other peoples conversations. I find some of the fawning people do over kids to be stomach churning but for most with kids, their kids are the center of their world and take precedented over all else.

It's also important to note that the parents could have been trying to get the child to talk. There may be developmental issues and the conversation could have been the parents attempts to get the child to engage with them.

Mind my own business?Did you read the thread?This guy was going on like this at the top of his voice in a fairly small confined space almost non stop for a least half an hour.There were other people in there just as annoyed as I was judging by some of the looks he got.Of course theres nothing wrong with talking to your children but theres a time and place.

I am pie

darkdubh wrote: »

I think the OP has a point.Its a very middle class phenomenom.A lot of them treat their kids like little princesses and princes who are going to have a severe land when they enter the real world and find that not everyone thinks they're as fantastic as Mummy and Doddy do.

Talking to your kids = treating them like princesses?

Holy fck.

To me it's perfectly normal, cooey cooey, bit of affection. Big deal. I would think complaining about that in a public setting to be fairly self absorbed. Different if they were in a high end restaurant or somewhere requiring a bit of quiet.

You'd hardly expect parents to ask their toddler what they thought of the football last night or whether they support the Russians in Ukraine.. do you?

What a world, were a bit of parental affection over lunch can be construed as an annoyance!

I am pie

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Mind my own business?Did you read the thread?This guy was going on like this at the top of his voice in a fairly small confined space almost non stop for a least half an hour.There were other people in there just as annoyed as I was judging by some of the looks he got.Of course theres nothing wrong with talking to your children but theres a time and place.

Is your complaint that he was speaking at too high a volume?? Wow. In a restaurant, at lunch.

I doubt he was speaking that loud as it would frighten the child.

Ann Landers

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

Right, but you're not supposed to be. Even if they were loud, you were eavesdropping. They weren't being loud for your benefit.

Muise...

I am pie wrote: »

Talking to your kids = treating them like princesses?

Holy fck.

To me it's perfectly normal, cooey cooey, bit of affection. Big deal. I would think complaining about that in a public setting to be fairly self absorbed. Different if they were in a high end restaurant or somewhere requiring a bit of quiet.

You'd hardly expect parents to ask their toddler what they thought of the football last night or whether they support the Russians in Ukraine.. do you?

What a world, were a bit of parental affection over lunch can be construed as an annoyance!

OP said it was loud, continuous and everyone in the room noticed it. Not simply "talking to" children.

Ralf and Florian

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Mind my own business?Did you read the thread?This guy was going on like this at the top of his voice in a fairly small confined space almost non stop for a least half an hour.There were other people in there just as annoyed as I was judging by some of the looks he got.Of course theres nothing wrong with talking to your children but theres a time and place.

So rather than politely inform the person in question that he was being a little loud you decided to do nothing and post about it on boards. I never knew that there were certain times and places where you were supposed to talk to your kids. I assumed that you could do it pretty much anywhere bar the theater.

Sir Arthur Daley

If i am picking up on the op correctly i too would be fairly annoyed at this, would turn me right off my food, sounds to me he was making a scene for everyone.

Calibos

Don't get me wrong, I think parents can over indulge their kids. Not sure this is a good example of it though.

Its parents who inflict unusual names on their kids that get me goat. EG. Names like Ralf and Florian.

Micky Dolenz

Kids should be banned.

I am pie

Muise... wrote: »

OP said it was loud, continuous and everyone in the room noticed it. Not simply "talking to" children.

I doubt it was that loud to be honest, with a small child? I don't believe that.

Ralf and Florian

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.Kids might want to do their own thing and scribble in a colouring book or play with their toys and not feel smothered with attention from their parents who can't stop talking about them or indulging them for five minuites.

mikom

My young lad usually does this when eating at a small restaurant........

I am pie

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.Kids might want to do their own thing and scribble in a colouring book or play with their toys and not feel smothered with attention from their parents who can't stop talking about them or indulging them for five minuites.

I wholeheartedly agree with your first sentence, or at least the second part of it.

whupdedo

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Over the weekend myself and my partner were in a small restaurant having lunch.A 30 something couple with a young toddler (I think it was a boy but not sure) sat near to us.For the entire time they were there the father was endlessly cooing and fussing over the child,and very loudly too.I'd say the whole place could hear him.It was all "Can Daddy have some?" and Daddy this.I dont think he spoke more than two sentences to his wife/partner.My point is are certain parents just too overindulgant of their kids and smother them with attention?Are they bringing up a generation of spoilt divas who'll throw a tantrum when they find their not the center of attention.I suppose people who do this mean well and its better than the kid having wasters of parents who leave them at home while they spend their dole money down the pub but I think they need to realise their kids are not the center of the Universe and everyone else in earshot is not quite as enamoured of them as they are.

I hate them bastards too, and ill hate they're kids in time as well

Chucken

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.Kids might want to do their own thing and scribble in a colouring book or play with their toys and not feel smothered with attention from their parents who can't stop talking about them or indulging them for five minuites.

Trust me, when a toddler is fed up of mammy or daddy talking, they will wander off and "do their own thing"
And then we have the next thread...
Can't win with some people.

Ralf and Florian

Ann Landers wrote: »

Right, but you're not supposed to be. Even if they were loud, you were eavesdropping. They weren't being loud for your benefit.

I diden't want to be earshot believe me but its hard not to be when your sitting close to someone broadcasting at the top of their voice with no consideration for those around them.

Sir Arthur Daley

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

If i am picking up on the op correctly i too would be fairly annoyed at this, would turn me right off my food, sounds to me he was making a scene for everyone.

And if it was such an issue then something should have been said. It's like people in the cinema who get annoyed when others talk and won't tell them to be quiet, instead preferring to say nothing, have the experience ruined on them and then run home to post about it on boards.

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.Kids might want to do their own thing and scribble in a colouring book or play with their toys and not feel smothered with attention from their parents who can't stop talking about them or indulging them for five minuites.

You don't know that they are smothered with attention all the time. For all you know it could have been the first time the father saw the child in awhile.

Most kids aren't constantly smothered with attention and to use your example as evidence to say that they are is ridiculous. Without context it's meaningless. The parents may not be together, he may only see his child every few weeks, etc.

Ann Landers

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.

How do you know it's all the time? How long were you in the presence of this couple and their child?

Ann Landers

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

I diden't want to be earshot believe me but its hard not to be when your sitting close to someone broadcasting at the top of their voice with no consideration for those around them.

So, did you say something to staff? I was at a family do lately where the parents of a 3 year old present were asked to keep him quiet, which they then did with no hassle. So did you do this or decide to wait and bitch about it on a message board later?

Muise...

I am pie wrote: »

I doubt it was that loud to be honest, with a small child? I don't believe that.

You're just calling the OP a liar, then?

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

I diden't want to be earshot believe me but its hard not to be when your sitting close to someone broadcasting at the top of their voice with no consideration for those around them.

I've experienced this, with people who were not minding children, and with people who were. Some restaurants have really terrible acoustics, but some people don't care who can hear them. It's the risk you take in a public place.

Ralf and Florian

Ann Landers wrote: »

How do you know it's all the time? How long were you in the presence of this couple and their child?

Maybe I should have asked them for your benefit.This is just an example.Its a fairly recent phenomenom and pretty widespread.Many parents just can't believe that not everyone shares their fascination for their kids and most of the replies here prove my point.

Ralf and Florian

Ann Landers wrote: »

So, did you say something to staff? I was at a family do lately where the parents of a 3 year old present were asked to keep him quiet, which they then did with no hassle. So did you do this or decide to wait and bitch about it on a message board later?

Theres more than a hint of bitchiness creeping through in your posts if you don't mind me saying.

Ann Landers

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Maybe I should have asked them for your benefit.This is just an example.

A fairly weak example... you need to lead with a better one.

Sir Arthur Daley

Deleted User wrote: »

And if it was such an issue then something should have been said.

If i was in such a situation i would, time and a place for everything, restaurants are for eating not to be putting up with daddy and his fair city like acting.

Ann Landers

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Theres more than a hint of bitchiness creeping through in your posts if you don't mind me saying.

Arrah, there probably is, whatchygonnado?

bodhi085

It's called interacting with you're child. Forming a bond between father and child.
Would a post be put up if you was in the restaurant and the parents just gave the child a Nintendo ds and sat looking at each other not saying a word. Would that have bothered more? People are very quick to judge poor parenting but now to judge over parenting!!
It could have been for a number of reasons why the dad was like that..maybe he only spends a couple of days a week with children or maybe himself and the lady are separated and that's his access day supervised.

Ralf and Florian

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

If i was in such a situation i would, time and a place for everything, restaurants are for eating not to be putting up with daddy and his fair city like acting.

Someone talking sense for once.Yes your right I should have said something in hindsight.

Little Acorn

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.Kids might want to do their own thing and scribble in a colouring book or play with their toys and not feel smothered with attention from their parents who can't stop talking about them or indulging them for five minuites.

I agree with that but I just don't think that your story proves that was the case here. It might have been for reasons like another poster suggested that the father works long hours and didn't get to spend much other quality time with the kid or else was trying to encourage the child to eat/speak.

It might have been nothing of the sort and maybe he just views meal time as a close bonding time and enjoys doting on his kid, but that doesn't mean that the same child is constantly smothered with attention at home or is an example of a child that is going to become spoilt.

You only saw them for a lunch period so it is impossible to judge them as being the type of parents who overindulge their child on a constant basis.

If it was the volume of his voice that was annoying you I can understand that as a valid annoyance, but still don't think it proves that particular child is overindulged and spoilt.

mohawk

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

So many posters here have missed the point that I wonder why I bothered.I don't think its a particulerly healthy thing for a kid to completly the center of attention all of the time.Kids might want to do their own thing and scribble in a colouring book or play with their toys and not feel smothered with attention from their parents who can't stop talking about them or indulging them for five minuites.

Many families only have the weekend to fuss over their children. During the week when you have work you don't have much quality time together as your always under time pressure.

Any child going to creche or preschool will figure out pretty quick the world doesn't revolve around them. They get over it.

Of course some parents go too far cooing over their children and some parents don't give their children enough affection.

dark crystal

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Maybe I should have asked them for your benefit.This is just an example.Its a fairly recent phenomenom and pretty widespread.Many parents just can't believe that not everyone shares their fascination for their kids and most of the replies here prove my point.

Christ, parents don't give a flying fig whether anyone else shares a fascination with their kids or not. You overheard an affectionate conversation between a father and his toddler, he wasn't asking you to join in!

If you can't hack other people talking to each other in public places, best stay at home.

I am pie

Muise... wrote: »

You're just calling the OP a liar, then?
QUOTE]

Don't put words in my mouth, it reflects poorly on you.

I believe they are exaggerating for the purposes of their extremely weak argument.

Ann Landers

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

Maybe I should have asked them for your benefit.This is just an example.Its a fairly recent phenomenom and pretty widespread.Many parents just can't believe that not everyone shares their fascination for their kids and most of the replies here prove my point.

I don't have kids.

monflat

I thought this thread would be about parents giving their children too many easter eggs.

Indulgance is a word id use with food.


Over affectionate maybe thats what the fella was doin.

Boombastic

disgusting behaviour, can they not just stare in to their phones and ignore each other like everyone else?

Quite right OP. Quite right. Sit them in a dark corner and throw some gruel at them.
Spare the rod and spoil the child. Seen and not heard and so on