life

17-04-2014 12:10PM #1

Do you think modern life has got too complex for most people, for example when I was a child you basically got fed, went to school, and played with you friends, and maybe went out on Sunday afternoon with you parents and that was it parents weren't hovering over you wondering about good schools or nurturing you self esteem and happiness. If a child was raised today the way I was it would be considered neglect that just one example another is the change from the idea of having a job to the idea of having a career( which of course must be fulfilling and make you happy ) Then there is the pressure to look a certain way, have a certain type of house ( in an area with good school and miles away from any hint of antisocial behaviour ) along with that relationships with you partner should be mutely emotionally, mentally and sexually fulfilling all the time. After all that you should be a perfect parent or you will be judged harshly.

nelly17 · 17-04-2014 12:12PM

Is that not evolution in action?

jimgoose · 17-04-2014 12:13PM

As a species we do have a knack for making things outrageously complicated and difficult for ourselves.

Mr. Incognito · 17-04-2014 12:13PM

Need a hug?

D1stant · 17-04-2014 12:13PM

I blame the meejah

When we only had RTE1, no internet and couldn't read things were so much simpler

17-04-2014 12:19PM

D1stant wrote: »

I blame the meejah

When we only had RTE1, no internet and couldn't read things were so much simpler

I think there is a grain of truth in that, the internet is great, however accesses to all that information is often not good for people.

Dravokivich · 17-04-2014 12:20PM

I don't think things have become directly complicated for their own sake. Expectations have been raised a tremendous amount which results in something becoming complicated as a result.

Then again, you're looking at those simple times from a simple perspective. When you were a child, it's likely you wouldn't remember all the detail of what your parents were doing around you. I'd honestly say I was quite ignorant of it.

When we're taking care of our kid, be it feeding, cleaning, changing nappies. Sometimes I wonder if he realises how much both my girlfriend and I do for him at the time. Things weren't easier when we were kids, we were oblivious to it.

mikom · 17-04-2014 12:25PM

You can basically insure against anything these days........... what a load of bollix.
Can someone insure you won't become a drone made out of cardboard?

The One Doctor · 17-04-2014 12:27PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Do you think modern life has got too complex for most people, for example when I was a child you basically got fed, went to school, and played with you friends, and maybe went out on Sunday afternoon with you parents and that was it parents weren't hovering over you wondering about good schools or nurturing you self esteem and happiness. If a child was raised today the way I was it would be considered neglect that just one example another is the change from the idea of having a job to the idea of having a career( which of course must be fulfilling and make you happy ) Then there is the pressure to look a certain way, have a certain type of house ( in an area with good school and miles away from any hint of antisocial behaviour ) along with that relationships with you partner should be mutely emotionally, mentally and sexually fulfilling all the time. After all that you should be a perfect parent or you will be judged harshly.

You're believing what you read in the media and see on TV. Stop it, it's not healthy.

jacksie66 · 17-04-2014 12:29PM

This post has been deleted.

AnonoBoy · 17-04-2014 12:29PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Do you think modern life has got too complex for most people, for example when I was a child you basically got fed, went to school, and played with you friends, and maybe went out on Sunday afternoon with you parents

So what you're saying is life is more complicated for you now as an adult than they were for you as a child?

"Stop the press folks, we got a new front page for tomorrow's edition!"

cian68 · 17-04-2014 12:34PM

Children today will grow up thinking their childhood was a simple time when they just went to school and played with their friends.

17-04-2014 12:35PM

The One Doctor wrote: »

You're believing what you read in the media and see on TV. Stop it, it's not healthy.

That true, however just look at the replies you would get if someone put a post saying " in my estate a five year old is on playing on the green with no parents with them" or some such nonsense the replies will come tick and fast saying the parent(s) are a disgrace(I was allowed out on my own at 5 ) that's just one example.

Neyite · 17-04-2014 12:36PM

D1stant wrote: »

I blame the meejah

When we only had RTE1, no internet and couldn't read things were so much simpler

When we only had the priest telling us what to do it was so much simpler.

Philo Beddoe · 17-04-2014 12:39PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Do you think modern life has got too complex for most people, for example when I was a child you basically got fed, went to school, and played with you friends, and maybe went out on Sunday afternoon with you parents and that was it parents weren't hovering over you wondering about good schools or nurturing you self esteem and happiness. If a child was raised today the way I was it would be considered neglect that just one example another is the change from the idea of having a job to the idea of having a career( which of course must be fulfilling and make you happy ) Then there is the pressure to look a certain way, have a certain type of house ( in an area with good school and miles away from any hint of antisocial behaviour ) along with that relationships with you partner should be mutely emotionally, mentally and sexually fulfilling all the time. After all that you should be a perfect parent or you will be judged harshly.

All these things you describe are aspirational. You don't have to do any of this, but why not try? Why shouldn't we want our children to have more than we had? Why shouldn't we want a fulfilling career or relationship? Shouldn't we aspire to communicate without the use of run-on sentences?

17-04-2014 12:44PM

cian68 wrote: »

Children today will grow up thinking their childhood was a simple time when they just went to school and played with their friends.

Some might but the vast majority will remember a life spent with child-minder or in a crèche when they were very will minded and entertained by adults, they will not have a childhood where there was very little interaction with adults and a childhood where you were expected to entertain yourself.

The other point that interreges me is the good schools thing years and years ago when buying a house, such a notion never occurred to anyone the information was not there a school was a school and that was it.

mikom · 17-04-2014 12:47PM

mariaalice wrote: »

The other point that interreges me is the good schools thing years and years ago when buying a house, such a notion never occurred to anyone the information was not there a school was a school and that was it.

What was that about schools?

Graces7 · 17-04-2014 12:48PM

jacksie66 wrote: »

It's funny when you say to a kid nowadays that you remember a time before the internet..

try telling anyone you remember life before television, which i do very well...;)

D1stant · 17-04-2014 12:53PM

If you examine all the major milestones and expectations in life of now versus say the 70s/80s. Things are more complicated. There are more rules/regulations/red tape around virtually every aspect of life and there is constant pressure to be perfect that is hard to ignore when you are being bombarded by every picture and screen.

The OP is right

OldNotWIse · 17-04-2014 12:55PM

Agree. I remember when TV actually went off at night, and they had that creepy picture with the girl hugging a clown or something. Parents frequently did a "McCann" on us because it was just too expensive to bring kids out. I remember running around a mobile home/caravan park looking in the restaurant window with a gang of other "orphans" while our parents dined inside. Not to mention, if you did something in school and your parents were called in, you'd sh1t yourself cause there was no way they were taking your side!

17-04-2014 12:57PM

mikom wrote: »

What was that about schools?

A long time ago when I was first in the marked to buy house the only thing was could you afford it and maybe was the back garden sunny, now it all about is it in the catchment area for such and such a school or it must be miles away from such and such an area, now I am not saying its a bad thing that people look at such issues but it just makes life more complicated.

Graces7 · 17-04-2014 12:57PM

interesting thread; thank you

well, i simply simplified life for many reasons. no tv or radio. i keep up with events in my time on the internet. had many years being almost totally housebound and it threw me back on my own resources wondrfuyll

never had much money and as long as i have enough to live simply on, that is fine. things do not interest me

i dont do social networking as i like to meet folk i email. only here so much just now as am on bedrest a lot after the accident when my wrist was broken etc

would never dream of letting anyone dictate how i should live..so many kids these days are over educated and fit for little.

allibastor · 17-04-2014 12:58PM

jacksie66 wrote: »

It's funny when you say to a kid nowadays that you remember a time before the internet..

My nine year old doesn't believe me that Gameboys were once black and white!! and not in 3d. I kid you not.

17-04-2014 01:00PM

mariaalice wrote: »

parents weren't nurturing you self esteem and happiness.

another is the change from the idea of having a job to the idea of having a career( which of course must be fulfilling and make you happy )

God forbid parents would want their children to be happy or fulfilled

Dravokivich · 17-04-2014 01:03PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Some might but the vast majority will remember a life spent with child-minder or in a crèche when they were very will minded and entertained by adults, they will not have a childhood where there was very little interaction with adults and a childhood where you were expected to entertain yourself.

The other point that interreges me is the good schools thing years and years ago when buying a house, such a notion never occurred to anyone the information was not there a school was a school and that was it.

But these are very different times now when you take into account the costs involved to support a household. When I was younger it was possible for my ma to be the sole earner and she cold afford mortgage, bills, groceries, clothes, schoolbooks with 5 kids and a holiday every 2 or 3 years.

A lot of young couples these day who'd be of the same age as my ma back then both have to work now just for rent, bills, groceries. Let alone the cost of childcare.

I'm still not getting this "Things were less complicated for me when I was a kid" vibe at all.

OldNotWIse · 17-04-2014 01:04PM

bluewolf wrote: »

God forbid parents would want their children to be happy or fulfilled

Thats all my parents ever wanted for their children, but they managed to avoid obsessive helicopter parenting.

Wicklowrider · 17-04-2014 01:12PM

jacksie66 wrote: »

It's funny when you say to a kid nowadays that you remember a time before the internet..

after working most of my life outdoors in manual type work, I got sick in my middle age and had to find alternative ways to earn money. I studied hard and got a a job in the tech sector. Now I was working with people less than half my age. One Christmas a lad wa splaying mp3's and I mentioned I had the song on vinyl. Suddenly people were interested and I described the thing we did when I wa stheir ages - like taping songs off the radio etc. When I got describing our first TV - timber boxed, tiny b&w screen and waiting for it to "warm up" they thought I was pulling their legs.

bluewolf wrote: »

God forbid parents would want their children to be happy or fulfilled

Huh?
I was very fulfilled cycling around wicklow, climbing the rocks from the sea up the side of Bray Head and doing a hundred other things without Ma & Da wrapping me in cotton wool. Creche ? is that something you put chocolate sauce on?

17-04-2014 01:13PM

Wicklowrider wrote: »

Huh?
I was very fulfilled cycling around wicklow, climbing the rocks from the sea up the side of Bray Head and doing a hundred other things without Ma & Da wrapping me in cotton wool. Creche ? is that something you put chocolate sauce on?

She is having nostalgia for times when "parents weren't nuturing your self esteem or happiness".
Firstly I don't know if that is true and secondly, why... would she prefer that

Zillah · 17-04-2014 01:21PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Do you think modern life has got too complex for most people, for example when I was a child you basically got fed, went to school, and played with you friends, and maybe went out on Sunday afternoon with you parents and that was it parents weren't hovering over you wondering about good schools or nurturing you self esteem and happiness. If a child was raised today the way I was it would be considered neglect that just one example another is the change from the idea of having a job to the idea of having a career( which of course must be fulfilling and make you happy ) Then there is the pressure to look a certain way, have a certain type of house ( in an area with good school and miles away from any hint of antisocial behaviour ) along with that relationships with you partner should be mutely emotionally, mentally and sexually fulfilling all the time. After all that you should be a perfect parent or you will be judged harshly.

Is wanting a good school for your children a bad thing?
Is wanting to be happy and fulfilled a bad thing?
Living away from antisocial behaviour?

This is the most

post I've seen in a long time.

It's very Irish though. Look at you and your notions about yerself; up there on your high horse with your laptop and nice haircut. Back in my day we got a potato and a good sermon and that was all we needed. Oooooh la de da, look at this fella with no holes in his shoes, well sorry to get in your way your majesty!

17-04-2014 01:24PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Thats all my parents ever wanted for their children, but they managed to avoid obsessive helicopter parenting.

Um... good for them

Lyaiera · 17-04-2014 01:27PM

It's weird going back through old newspapers, even back to the turn of the 20th century people were complaining about the same things: youth gone wild, disrespecting their elders, and having sex! People were complaining that they were too time pressed and never had time to themselves, etc. However I do think there's a validity to the idea that people are more stressed now.

There was an article I read about prisoners in an American jail and how they reduced violence within a group of them. Basically they got them knitting. Despite having big long metal stabby things on them the amount of violence reduced between the knitters: knitting was found to be therapeutic. The science behind the reduced prisoner agitation was that manual activities and dexterous activities occupied a certain part of the brain while leaving another part free to work on problems. The prisoners weren't concious of that part of their brain working out internal issues, but it was still doing so at a certain subconscious level and this left the prisoners more relaxed and less agitated.

The thing with this is that it took specific types of activity to achieve this effect. It doesn't work when the communication part of the brain is occupied, and that's what most people working today have active non-stop: reading e-mails, reading documents, writing or being on the phone. That part of the brain needs to be free for a certain portion of the day to process ancillary, personal issues. This is worsened when people come home and go straight to watching TV, onto a computer or reading books.

Basically, they found that the whole "manual labour made people more relaxed thing" is sort of true. It isn't so much physically strenuous activity as it is activity that keeps you concentrated on doing things (knitting, woodworking, painting and even a lot of exercise that needs you to pay attention to what you're doing,) while leaving the communication part of the brain free to work on other things.

life

Comments