What is your current life struggle?

It seems trivial compared to most here, I keep having final destination type visions of bad stuff happening to my kids.

I'm awake writing this now, as 2 hours ago just as I was drifting off to sleep I had a mini dream of them getting hurt.

It's every fecking night.

A cyber hug to all those with issues, sometimes the internet is a decent place to unload a bit, even if it's lighthearted.

Double hug to itchy arše guy

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm sure your current situation is really stressful.....but if it makes you feel better, I'm really envious of people like you who are clearly demonstrably smart enough to get a PhD in the first place.
I only have a 2.2 degree (undertaken during an extremely difficult period of my life where I missed so many lectures due to personal difficulties) and, if my MSc passes, a merit Masters degree (I was able to do ok in my written exams; otherwise, there's no way I'd have managed a merit!)

Before I went to university I assumed academia was where I was destined; I got 8 A grades (all HL) in my JC and 570 points in my LC.......then the BSc years hit, along with depression and a sense of not feeling alive at all, and my academic record took a huge hit. So even if your PhD has been stressful, and you've occasionally had doubts about it, I hope you at least feel good about yourself that you were deemed smart enough to be accepted for a PhD and clearly competent enough to make it to your final year.

I'd love to be in your position to be honest.....I'm not trying to undermine your experience, because I'm sure your life is quite stressful at the moment.......but I would take any amount of stress in exchange for being somebody deemed worthy of doing a PhD, rather than being in my current position of being an also-ran who'll never achieve anything great. :(

I completely understand what you're saying, and from the sounds of it, you are more than worthy and intelligent enough to do a PhD. If it's really what you want to do, don't give up. The funding/acceptance process is quite unfair in Ireland at times, but if you can find a good supervisor, they'll see your potential and understand how well you did despite difficult circumstances, and hopefully get you through that process. Best of luck with it!

3 things I'm trying to cope with. The first is working at an awful minimum wage job in order to try and save money to go back to university (failed, now gotta pay for the repeats). I've been working here for 6 months and haven't managed to save a penny. Between paying off debts, being temporarily let go (which means I had to put some money aside to pay for 2 months rent and bills), trying to be sound to my partner and friends (I've been a mooch most my life), treating myself to the occassional nice thing AND the fact that this country is a bloody rip off it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to save ANY money. I am dying to resume in September though. I can't stand the thought of having to work in either the same or another minimum wage entry level shít job for another year in a bit, and that's assuming I would manage to save up! A lot of my friends have finished university, started their dream careers or gone off traveling etc and my OH is almost finished her degree but I fear I'm going to be left behind.

Secondly, I don't feel like a very good lover in bed. Ideally, in my opinion, we'd have sex a good deal more often (could just be cos I'm a guy though) and when we do it would be everything and more she'd want but I don't think I always do the job as good as she'd like and it leaves my self-confidence in bed fairly damaged. We've had discussions and rows about it before and I know what I need to do to make it the best but I just feel like a bit of a sap and honestly sometimes just flat out avoid out of fear of making a fool of myself.

Lastly, I drive myself insane thinking about life and death and the universe and existence and so on. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to but it can still depress me and make me quite anxious every now and then.

I know these aren't as bad as some people's problems and can all be solved but it's just a matter of actually doing it which as you all know can be much easier said than done...

Ann Landers wrote: »

Losing weight. Tis hard, tis very hard. Yeah, yeah, I know, eat less, move more. But you need to go through sustained periods of hunger and it is a long, looooong process where for most of it, you'll still look overweight even if you're consistently losing. Fun times!

I'm getting there, though.

Oh, and exams that I am really struggling to find the motivation to study for.

To be fair, if you're hungry, you're doing it wrong. It's all about eating little a lot. Exercise just shapes what you're left with.

Ficheall wrote: »

I spent almost five years worrying about my viva at the end, because there were so many questions they could have asked that could have easily tripped me and ended up costing me everything I'd worked for. Then viva day came and I was giddy with excitement - one way or the other I was finished working on the PhD and worrying about it. I gave the best presentation I've ever given, the question session afterwards was just like a chat and they didn't ask me any difficult questions, and then I was free*!!!

So don't stress about it - you've the hardest part of the work done, and it looks really bad on them if you fail, so everyone will do their utmost not to let that happen. Be grand!



*I've since started a postdoc which I'm not enjoying at all, and don't have the balls to quit, but that's another story...

This sentiment (one not unfamiliar to myself) always reminds me of the scene in fight club with the two lads talking about how they go to college, look to their parents for approval for finishing college, then get a job, again looking for approval from whatever authority figure there is etc etc ad infinitum.
Always resonated with me. With them seeing every step as thankless with no real release.

Life is my struggle.

Money. I can just about cover the cost of living with a tiny amount left over to save (€30!) which I know isn't the worst but it also means that I'll never be able to afford to save for a house deposit and renting is increasingly depressing!

FullblownRose wrote: »

Rude neighbours. I avoid the park when their children are there because they snigger and stage whisper about one of my children who has special needs. One of them is much worse when he hangs around with his friends. they went to throw something at my car as I drove past the other day. One of them half KILLED my dog to amuse his mates.

That's an absolute thundering disgrace, your poor child. It's the little gurriers like these who have been shown no discipline whatsoever that will evolve into hardened criminals. Grrrrr.

eviltwin wrote: »

Paying my mortgage, our bank is taking us to court to take the house but I hope it won't come to that. But trying to look on the bright side, we are all well and healthy and things could be worse.

Are your bank communicating with you and helping you to reach a workable payment solution? I know a couple of people who had the court date and everything but it didn't come to that in the end so things might work out ok for you x