What is your current life struggle?

average hero

Current life struggle at the moment is to emigrate and find a career. Having finished college, the idea is to emigrate either to the UK, the Netherlands or Germany, get a job and start a career. I'm looking to emigrate fairly swiftly anyway, I imagine I will thrive when I leave because I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut here.

T minus 2 weeks....

To all suffering from life's struggles, keep the head up - as hard as it may be, I've been there, done that, worn the t-shirt and I am a stronger person after getting through it.

Graces7

small thought...this morning had a long intense conference sitting in the car with someone in a hard, hard place.

noticed a wee chaffinch on the fence, gathering material for a nest.

we were both entranced and engrossed and the problems shrank some.

small joys refresh and renew. does not have to be spectacular.

FullblownRose

Graces7 wrote: »

small thought...this morning had a long intense conference sitting in the car with someone in a hard, hard place.

noticed a wee chaffinch on the fence, gathering material for a nest.

we were both entranced and engrossed and the problems shrank some.

small joys refresh and renew. does not have to be spectacular.

That's lovely

I Heart Internet

average hero wrote: »

Current life struggle at the moment is to emigrate and find a career. Having finished college, the idea is to emigrate either to the UK, the Netherlands or Germany, get a job and start a career. I'm looking to emigrate fairly swiftly anyway, I imagine I will thrive when I leave because I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut here.

T minus 2 weeks....

To all suffering from life's struggles, keep the head up - as hard as it may be, I've been there, done that, worn the t-shirt and I am a stronger person after getting through it.

I can recommend both the UK and the Netherlands. I think I'd go for the Netherlands if pushed.

Savage Tyrant

lufties wrote: »

Don't be too hard on yourself. A relative of mine recently took his own life, a perfect role model he was, everthing he did was to perfection, and was considered a rock in people's lives. Now he's gone, leaving behind a young family.

Nobody is perfect, and blaming yourself doesn't help.

green_screen wrote: »

The fact that you hate your job so much, but stick it out, and the fact that you recognise your mental health issues and are doing your best to muddle through and think of your kids, makes you a fantastic role model. It's showing grit and determination for the sake of your family.

A genuine thank you to you both.

Graces7

FullblownRose wrote: »

That's lovely

it awed me. but these weeks when i cannot knit etc have deepened my understanding of many things....that tiny creature with its beak full of nest!

allibastor

Have 6 years of college, 6 years experience working and managing staff and sales. Cant get a job still. Have great skills at sales, pass all the tests and still cant get in the door as anyone wants 10+ years.

Wompa1

allibastor wrote: »

Have 6 years of college, 6 years experience working and managing staff and sales. Cant get a job still. Have great skills at sales, pass all the tests and still cant get in the door as anyone wants 10+ years.

How long have you been unemployed?

allibastor

Wompa1 wrote: »

How long have you been unemployed?

I am not, still working. I know many would like to work, but I am in a job which I wish to leave to go back to my main training, before my skills and experience will leave me in this role for good.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Reassuring to see so many people struggling with their PhDs. Makes my struggle with mine a bit more bearable. Misery loves company I suppose. Those who have real problems, my thoughts are with you. Hope it gets better for you all.

PizzamanIRL

LorMal wrote: »

Dont be mean. Life is very tough in those circumstances.
Feel free to be all heroic and indestructable about your own life -dont be judging others

He/she needs a kick up the arse.

Can't afford to go to interviews?
If you can afford to be online on a forum you have money to get yourself to an interview.

Tasden

I'm extremely lucky in that I've overcome any life struggles I did have. I'm sure there's plenty more ahead.

Right now my major issue would be trying to decide if the doubts I have about a relationship are valid/warranted, or if I'm just afraid of being hurt, which in the grand scheme of things is a pretty ok issue to have.

All the best to everyone going through a difficult time, only way out of hell is through it. Been there and all the better for it.

cazzer22

Dissertation.

I have NO idea what I'm doing, my supervisor is really critical and am totally lost.

anncoates

FullblownRose wrote: »

Rude neighbours. I avoid the park when their children are there because they snigger and stage whisper about one of my children who has special needs. One of them is much worse when he hangs around with his friends. they went to throw something at my car as I drove past the other day. One of them half KILLED my dog to amuse his mates.

Fcuking animals.

I know it's not much consolation but at least no matter how bad things get, you are better than them and your child will be better than them.

hattoncracker

My biggest life struggle right now is that my boyfriend is telling his 2 teenage sons he's dating me on Friday and I hope they'll be ok with it as I'm closer to their age than his. I'm also meeting his twenty-two year old daughter. I've never been in this situation before and I don't know how to handle it, so I'm just gonna be myself.


Bricking it is not the word.

LorMal

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

He/she needs a kick up the arse.

Can't afford to go to interviews?
If you can afford to be online on a forum you have money to get yourself to an interview.

One thing I have learned is that I cannot really know what it is like to be in someone else's shoes.
You don't know what this person is suffering, so don't be dismissive.
I think that maybe you are unhappy yourself?

loubian

It's trivial to others but I've a deep need to study medicine and help people and specialise in oncology but money is a big factor in my ability to achieve that goal. I'm 24 and have a small baby so it probably won't happen but I can always go into radiography!

AnonoBoy

Got caught out doing a few naughty financial things a few years back.

Thankfully today the whole silly mess had been cleared up and I got away with it am in the clear.

Sincerely,

Seanie F.

fg1406

Graces7 wrote: »

,
i mostly prefer renting.
sold my house,thankfully just before the crash, as the maintenance etc was crippling me.
after many issues i now have a great landlord. took me several moves and that was depressing, but even then not as bad as repairs etc.

I can't afford to rent by myself and my house share is a total nightmare (like a lot of them are). I've gotten to a point in my life where I'd like to end living like a student, renting with pretty much strangers, and begin to live independently.

roro1990

I'm a young guy (23). I have a decent well paying job, loving parents and a couple of decent friends. I'm also saving up for my second solo travel trip to Asia. Sounds rosy doesn't it? But my struggle is my mental health. Anxiety has plagued me since I was around 12 years old and only this year have I started to really try and address it - without much success. I also always have thoughts that I'm not good enough in certain aspects of my life. For example, socially. I'm not popular at all, not the kind of guy to talk a lot, especially in big groups. Wouldn't be the type to post statuses on facebook and get a sh*tton of likes. I guess I just over analyze things and relatively unimportant things become important to me.

roro1990

roro1990 wrote: »

I'm a young guy (23). I have a decent well paying job, loving parents and a couple of decent friends. I'm also saving up for my second solo travel trip to Asia. Sounds rosy doesn't it? But my struggle is my mental health. Anxiety has plagued me since I was around 12 years old and only this year have I started to really try and address it - without much success. I also always have thoughts that I'm not good enough in certain aspects of my life. For example, socially. I'm not popular at all, not the kind of guy to talk a lot, especially in big groups. Wouldn't be the type to post statuses on facebook and get a sh*tton of likes. I guess I just over analyze things and relatively unimportant things become important to me.

Recognise your success, and you obviously have many. Whatever you do, don't quantify success in terms of Facebook likes, or the ability to be entertaining in large groups. It's a much deeper thing than any of those, and by the metrics that matter, you're doing fine.

Tackle the anxiety, the rest will follow.

Yester

hattoncracker wrote: »

My biggest life struggle right now is that my boyfriend is telling his 2 teenage sons he's dating me on Friday and I hope they'll be ok with it as I'm closer to their age than his. I'm also meeting his twenty-two year old daughter. I've never been in this situation before and I don't know how to handle it, so I'm just gonna be myself.


Bricking it is not the word.

You are the cool one. They have to prove themselves to you.

hattoncracker

Yester wrote: »

You are the cool one. They have to prove themselves to you.

Ah thanks!

There's a 19 year age gap between me and himself and he's got MS so his daughter especially is gonna be concerned about his welfare. But he's awesome and whatever happens we will deal.

His two teenage sons I've already met and we get on ok. We talk games and tech together. And his youngest sent me a friend request on Facebook.

Maybe I am cool!

Thank you for the validation, random stranger on the internet! I feel much better now!

I'm cool, I'm cool!

Adamantium

I mentioned before on boards, but here I go again:

Disability, illness. A 24/7 headache since October 2009, eye pain, ear pain, jaw pain. Zero mental clarity or wit. Feel like I'm mechanical as opposed to fluid in my thoughts. All one sided. Dropped out of college in 2011.

I don't want to meet somebody because well... they wouldn't know the real old me. I'd end up with somebody as equally broken, messed up and needy. And then I'd have to fake it, that I was enjoying it.

I'm 23 old man. I haven't had a straight thought in about 5 years or so, and I'm almost certain i'll never feel emotions or true thoughts again, explain to a person and they look at you like a fruitcase.

I want to be upset and happy about normal things, that other people can relate to not.... this blankness.

Younger brother heading off to San Diego on J1, and I used to be the guy who was wildly extroverted and adventurous, who was heading for it all! Teachers and people used to call me gifted, but I used to laugh them off!

People tell you well "hope your on the mend", as if it were something conventional

Without your health nothing works, and with it everything works.
My problem is I want my cake and to eat it as well, and I wonder if that's even possible. All I know is I need to find and eat the cake to prosper in any sort of way!
I'm battling like hell, this will work or I will die.

Thats a harsh burden Adamantium.

For what it's worth, I hope you find the cake. And I hope it's a huge, gooey chocolate one when you do.

Feel better soon

Mulumpy

Have my own business plus have a full time job in local business. Doing well but massively stressful working so many hours. Have mortgage and young family to look after so just keep going as long as ican.

Graces7

fg1406 wrote: »

I can't afford to rent by myself and my house share is a total nightmary e (like a lot of them are). I've gotten to a point in my life where I'd like to end living like a student, renting with prettyike much strangers, and begin to live independently.

ah that is truly dreadful; forgive me if i sounded less than sympathetic. being over 70 means i can live where i like, not tied to a city for work. my family have my power of attorney to ward off potential officious dogooders who think oldwans should be in homes..i would be dead in weeks in so-called sheltered accommodation.

but you are young and have more choices hopefully

Graces7

Adamantium wrote: »

I mentioned before on boards, but here I go again:

Disability, illness. A 24/7 headache since October 2009, eye pain, ear pain, jaw pain. Zero mental clarity or wit. Feel like I'm mechanical as opposed to fluid in my thoughts. All one sided. Dropped out of college in 2011.

I don't want to meet somebody because well... they wouldn't know the real old me. I'd end up with somebody as equally broken, messed up and needy. And then I'd have to fake it, that I was enjoying it.

I'm 23 old man. I haven't had a straight thought in about 5 years or so, and I'm almost certain i'll never feel emotions or true thoughts again, explain to a person and they look at you like a fruitcase.

I want to be upset and happy about normal things, that other people can relate to not.... this blankness.

Younger brother heading off to San Diego on J1, and I used to be the guy who was wildly extroverted and adventurous, who was heading for it all! Teachers and people used to call me gifted, but I used to laugh them off!

People tell you well "hope your on the mend", as if it were something conventional

Without your health nothing works, and with it everything works.
My problem is I want my cake and to eat it as well, and I wonder if that's even possible. All I know is I need to find and eat the cake to prosper in any sort of way!
I'm battling like hell, this will work or I will die.

contesting that. hotly!

i fell ill when a little older than you; mystery illness too.was a gifted teacher with a good career ahead. loved ballet, ie dancing, iceskating

was only a few years ago the truth re my illness emerged and in the three decades i had been through the mental health system time and time again,been rubbished and abused by drs.

i adapted even then; alweays found something to do forothers for to me life is about what yougive not about what you get.

after the diagnosis i got myself off all meds, got my mind back and moved to ireland and started livingand LIVING within my limits. and i set those limits

i have very poor health but i refuse to let that stop me living a full life. it is not what mostwould call a full life but most are wrong!y
now i run a market stall and trade at craft fairs, selling hand mades i work in bed, supporting family working overseas with homeless and babies dumped in therubbish

only you can adapt to your present life situation and only doing thatwill help you to bearit all and move forward.

illness and disability are not the end of meaningful life unless we allowthat.

money is not the only goal. i have been on disability then pension most of my life. i have what i need and truly lack for nothing.

scuse bad typing; broken wrist and very old laptop but i get there!

allibastor

roro1990 wrote: »

I'm a young guy (23). I have a decent well paying job, loving parents and a couple of decent friends. I'm also saving up for my second solo travel trip to Asia. Sounds rosy doesn't it? But my struggle is my mental health. Anxiety has plagued me since I was around 12 years old and only this year have I started to really try and address it - without much success. I also always have thoughts that I'm not good enough in certain aspects of my life. For example, socially. I'm not popular at all, not the kind of guy to talk a lot, especially in big groups. Wouldn't be the type to post statuses on facebook and get a sh*tton of likes. I guess I just over analyze things and relatively unimportant things become important to me.

Facebook is a joke dude, It reminds me of a story of a woman in the states. She had something like 700+ facebook friends, One day she put up a note saying she was sick of life and going to kill herself. She got loads of replies and stupid comments, but not one person actually called to her apartment to check on her, or gave her a phone call. She was found a few days later.

Don't run your life like facebook, most people only ever have a handful of good friends anyway. Just think what you have going for you and stay positive. But do talk to people also, it does help.

Call Me Jimmy

Adamantium wrote: »

I mentioned before on boards, but here I go again:

Disability, illness. A 24/7 headache since October 2009, eye pain, ear pain, jaw pain. Zero mental clarity or wit. Feel like I'm mechanical as opposed to fluid in my thoughts. All one sided. Dropped out of college in 2011.

I don't want to meet somebody because well... they wouldn't know the real old me. I'd end up with somebody as equally broken, messed up and needy. And then I'd have to fake it, that I was enjoying it.

I'm 23 old man. I haven't had a straight thought in about 5 years or so, and I'm almost certain i'll never feel emotions or true thoughts again, explain to a person and they look at you like a fruitcase.

I want to be upset and happy about normal things, that other people can relate to not.... this blankness.

Younger brother heading off to San Diego on J1, and I used to be the guy who was wildly extroverted and adventurous, who was heading for it all! Teachers and people used to call me gifted, but I used to laugh them off!

People tell you well "hope your on the mend", as if it were something conventional

Without your health nothing works, and with it everything works.
My problem is I want my cake and to eat it as well, and I wonder if that's even possible. All I know is I need to find and eat the cake to prosper in any sort of way!
I'm battling like hell, this will work or I will die.

If the disability doesn't stop you, you should do yoga. I had that whole eye, jaw, skull, neck back pain from being overwhelmed and anxious mentally. Those things specifically will go away if you take up yoga and drink lots of water (I realised by accident that I was actually dehydrated a lot and medication I was on didn't help).

Not to sound like of one those but you'll find giving attention to the body with yoga what it does is it soothes your actual nervous system which is absolutely on fire for you right now, this is sending harsh signals to your brain constantly and your brain is constantly dealing with all this. When I was at my worst, wasn't doing anything, barely moving, I said to myself, okay, at the very least, whatever about my 'life' and the concepts, at the very least I will be more physically comfortable moment to moment. I had the aim of just gaining a tiny bit of comfort every day and building on it. My body was a twisted mess, but now I am almost getting back what I imagine normal experience is. Once you are truly comfortable again in your body (or as comfortable as you can get) your mind will be a whole different place to inhabit.

Your bad experience like mine gives you a very good platform to really appreciate normal functioning when you get it. Most people take it for granted.