advice for man whose wife took everything?

jane82 · 10-04-2014 09:48PM

But its not ten years ago. If this fella has some sort of order where he cant see his kids for twelve month review he did something. Social worker reports or charge sheets they dont just pass them out.
Ive seen people in the courts argueing and squabbling with solicitors going back and forth about a half hour extra or less.
Ive also seen loud mouth scrotes roaring in a phone about having to get supervised access and how they can "**** off if they think Im doing that" then threatening the wife on the way out the door.
Not everyman that doesnt see his kids is a saint.

BMJD · 10-04-2014 09:52PM

It's the gays I feel sorry for. They think it's a bed of roses, this marriage craic. They'll be sorry they ever wanted it.

jane82 · 10-04-2014 10:00PM

BMJD wrote: »

It's the gays I feel sorry for. They think it's a bed of roses, this marriage craic. They'll be sorry they ever wanted it.

The sad thing is there is piles of kids need adopting and piles of gay people that want kids and yet they stay in the orphanage.
There are gay women that after helping a partner raise a child for ten or so years get dumped and get no access and no money.
Its not quite a bed of roses.

flutered · 10-04-2014 10:01PM

BMJD wrote: »

It's the gays I feel sorry for. They think it's a bed of roses, this marriage craic. They'll be sorry they ever wanted it.

and you think thats bad, wait until they can adopt three or four kids, then think they can play happy familys, they wont know the fcuk what hit them.

jane82 · 10-04-2014 10:02PM

flutered wrote: »

and you think thats bad, wait until they can adopt three or four kids, then think they can play happy familys, they wont know the fcuk what hit them.

Just like any other couple.
This coming from a father of 3 with one on the way.

shopaholic01 · 10-04-2014 10:03PM

jane82 wrote: »

The sad thing is there is piles of kids need adopting and piles of gay people that want kids and yet they stay in the orphanage.
There are gay women that after helping a partner raise a child for ten or so years get dumped and get no access and no money.
Its not quite a bed of roses.

Are they all gathered and arranged in a heap at the side of the road somewhere?

jane82 · 10-04-2014 10:04PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Are they all gathered and arranged in a heap at the side of the road somewhere?

They may as well be.

10-04-2014 10:06PM

py2006 wrote: »

Regardless of the possibility of the post being a fabrication, this is a reality for a lot of men.

Exactly and the usual "Get legal advice" stuff doesn't help like people seem to think it will. I've seen cases where someone got a barring order because the husband had a drink problem. No accusation or implication of any kind of abuse whatsoever, that was enough. The woman's solicitor then told the wife to tell the kids to ignore the father when walking home from school. It didn't end well.

I know another guy whose ex wouldn't let him see his daughter. She was on the fiddle with her junkie sister living with her and claiming carer's while trying to get money from him for a babysitter. After a few months of not being allowed see the kids (despite several court dates she skipped followed by one when he was granted access) he lost the head and was arrested for creating a disturbance at her door.

Another guy's wife changed the locks, got a barring order, sold his gardening tools, had his dog put down because she said she couldn't look after it and so on.

When a woman wants to be a **** at the end of a relationship with a house or children involved there's not a whole lot to be done about it.

jane82 · 10-04-2014 10:09PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Exactly and the usual "Get legal advice" stuff doesn't help like people seem to think it will. I've seen cases where someone got a barring order because the husband had a drink problem. No accusation or implication of any kind of abuse whatsoever, that was enough. The woman's solicitor then told the wife to tell the kids to ignore the father when walking home from school. It didn't end well.

I know another guy whose ex wouldn't let him see his daughter. She was on the fiddle with her junkie sister living with her and claiming carer's while trying to get money from him for a babysitter. After a few months of not being allowed see the kids (despite several court dates she skipped followed by one when he was granted access) he lost the head and was arrested for creating a disturbance at her door.

Another guy's wife changed the locks, got a barring order, sold his gardening tools, had his dog put down because she said she couldn't look after it and so on.

When a woman wants to be a **** at the end of a relationship with a house or children involved there's not a whole lot to be done about it.

All these men lost their cool but told you it never happened before this one time.

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:09PM

I knew there would be people questioning my integrity on this. why would I make this up? Ive known of many similar situations over the past 5 to 10 years. where the guy loses everything overnight. once youre out and the wife has the kids it seems youre finished. when she changes locks and you attempt to break the locks, bang she calls police and youre arrested.

he has been in front of a judge and as there was no legal aid he felt he had to sign a form or else face being fines or even sent to jail. the paperwork hes signed states he cannot see the kids for 12 months, he is also not allowed to go within 100metres of the house he is now paying for. he actually paid for a new kitchen to be completed late last year and the car on hp which he also pays. ive known him a long time and found him a lovely bloke , honest decent hard working family man. as I said the only thing id say is hes a bit naïve. but any bloke could end up in that situation. the wife has a lot of divorced mates and he feels they heavily influenced and advised her how to get the situation to this point.

its a shame he doesn't have the ability to cry easily or he may have won more sympathy and support in court. hes now working around the clock, debts up to his eyeballs, lost id guess 3 stones in weight, is practically homeless and estranged from his kids. and its a mans world?

he lives in mid wales

dj jarvis · 10-04-2014 10:09PM

Jonny Blaze wrote: »

Surely if it satisfies the conditions of a valid contract and is drawn up by competent solicitors it would have to be though no?

I mean if a contract is just a formal agreement then I couldn't see the problem, even if there is nothing on the Irish statute books.

the have no standing in Irish law as of yet , but they are talking about changing the law to include them.

not worth the paper they are written on

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:11PM

jane82 wrote: »

But its not ten years ago. If this fella has some sort of order where he cant see his kids for twelve month review he did something. Social worker reports or charge sheets they dont just pass them out.
Ive seen people in the courts argueing and squabbling with solicitors going back and forth about a half hour extra or less.
Ive also seen loud mouth scrotes roaring in a phone about having to get supervised access and how they can "**** off if they think Im doing that" then threatening the wife on the way out the door.
Not everyman that doesnt see his kids is a saint.

he did nothing. the worst she came up with is he shouted at and threatened to hit one kid a few years before. pathetic.

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:13PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Exactly and the usual "Get legal advice" stuff doesn't help like people seem to think it will. I've seen cases where someone got a barring order because the husband had a drink problem. No accusation or implication of any kind of abuse whatsoever, that was enough. The woman's solicitor then told the wife to tell the kids to ignore the father when walking home from school. It didn't end well.

I know another guy whose ex wouldn't let him see his daughter. She was on the fiddle with her junkie sister living with her and claiming carer's while trying to get money from him for a babysitter. After a few months of not being allowed see the kids (despite several court dates she skipped followed by one when he was granted access) he lost the head and was arrested for creating a disturbance at her door.

Another guy's wife changed the locks, got a barring order, sold his gardening tools, had his dog put down because she said she couldn't look after it and so on.

When a woman wants to be a **** at the end of a relationship with a house or children involved there's not a whole lot to be done about it.

how do these women get away with damaging valuable property and killing animals for goodness sakes? is it us men that need to toughen up and fight for our rights? were hardly a unified force ready for battle the way women and womens groups are? but any man who dare say anything is accused of sexism? utter balderdash, blokes need their rights like anyone else

jane82 · 10-04-2014 10:13PM

stpaddy99 wrote: »

he did nothing. the worst she came up with is he shouted at and threatened to hit one kid a few years before. pathetic.

Yeah and the worst I ever done was left the toilet seat up. Do you believe me?

Femme_Fatale · 10-04-2014 10:15PM

jane82 wrote: »

But its not ten years ago.

Well I meant up to within 10 years ago, and it's still not roses.

The view of "They should man up" only helps exacerbate the problem - it's shifting responsibility to the man when he's the victim. They should be supported, the way a woman would be. Yeh I know there's two sides to every story, but that doesn't mean there aren't decent men who are totally and utterly screwed over in these situations.

Femme_Fatale · 10-04-2014 10:18PM

stpaddy99 wrote: »

any man who dare say anything is accused of sexism?

Can you clarify?

Czarcasm · 10-04-2014 10:22PM

OP either you're not getting the full story, or you're not telling the full story, or else you're just making it up as you go along.

Whatever the case may be, I sincerely doubt you posted in AH with a view to helping this man, and he's over in Wales, different legal jurisdiction altogether so Irish law is of no relevance.

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:22PM

Candie wrote: »

I doubt it, but you never know. The point is things aren't always as they seem.

Seems the thread is a wind up anyway.

its not. its 100% accurate at least from what ive been told and yes I do believe him 100%

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:24PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

OP either you're not getting the full story, or you're not telling the full story, or else you're just making it up as you go along.

Whatever the case may be, I sincerely doubt you posted in AH with a view to helping this man, and he's over in Wales, different legal jurisdiction altogether so Irish law is of no relevance.

thanks for calling me a liar? why in Gods name would I make this up? he told me all this today, hes broken hearted and his life is in ruins. as I mentioned he crashed a car into the crash barriers recently in his second job. I cant put his name and address details of course but its 100% true story. hes been married for donkeys years too

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:26PM

jane82 wrote: »

Yeah and the worst I ever done was left the toilet seat up. Do you believe me?

I don't know you but ive known this bloke for many years , so yes I believe him and I don't believe you.

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:27PM

jane82 wrote: »

But its not ten years ago. If this fella has some sort of order where he cant see his kids for twelve month review he did something. Social worker reports or charge sheets they dont just pass them out.
Ive seen people in the courts argueing and squabbling with solicitors going back and forth about a half hour extra or less.
Ive also seen loud mouth scrotes roaring in a phone about having to get supervised access and how they can "**** off if they think Im doing that" then threatening the wife on the way out the door.
Not everyman that doesnt see his kids is a saint.

this guy is.

Tombo2001 · 10-04-2014 10:28PM

stpaddy99 wrote: »

I knew there would be people questioning my integrity on this. why would I make this up? Ive known of many similar situations over the past 5 to 10 years. where the guy loses everything overnight. once youre out and the wife has the kids it seems youre finished. when she changes locks and you attempt to break the locks, bang she calls police and youre arrested.

he has been in front of a judge and as there was no legal aid he felt he had to sign a form or else face being fines or even sent to jail. the paperwork hes signed states he cannot see the kids for 12 months, he is also not allowed to go within 100metres of the house he is now paying for. he actually paid for a new kitchen to be completed late last year and the car on hp which he also pays. ive known him a long time and found him a lovely bloke , honest decent hard working family man. as I said the only thing id say is hes a bit naïve. but any bloke could end up in that situation. the wife has a lot of divorced mates and he feels they heavily influenced and advised her how to get the situation to this point.

its a shame he doesn't have the ability to cry easily or he may have won more sympathy and support in court. hes now working around the clock, debts up to his eyeballs, lost id guess 3 stones in weight, is practically homeless and estranged from his kids. and its a mans world?

he lives in mid wales

you don't get barred from your kids for no reason. tell the full story or else stop scare mongering.

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:28PM

py2006 wrote: »

Regardless of the possibility of the post being a fabrication, this is a reality for a lot of men.

its 100% true its not a fabrication. im pretty sick of being called a liar here. this happens all the time, but Ive known him for many years and hes salt of the earth

10-04-2014 10:29PM

jane82 wrote: »

All these men lost their cool but told you it never happened before this one time.

What? One case I saw for myself, one was the son in the family telling me what happened and one was in court. But hey, believe what you want.

stpaddy99 wrote: »

how do these women get away with damaging valuable property and killing animals for goodness sakes? is it us men that need to toughen up and fight for our rights? were hardly a unified force ready for battle the way women and womens groups are? but any man who dare say anything is accused of sexism? utter balderdash, blokes need their rights like anyone else

Man is threatening and intimidating and women need protecting seems to be the idea.

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:30PM

Tombo2001 wrote: »

you don't get barred from your kids for no reason. tell the full story or else stop scare mongering.

what else do you want his national insurance number? its not scare mongering its the truth. this is the story hes told me and I believe him. hes always been honest and decent in the many years ive known him. he doesn't even drink or smoke. there is zero incidents or even claims of violence, no drinking, he doesn't even smoke. he claims her spending is part of the problem and was the main thing theyd argue over.

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:31PM

Deleted User wrote: »

What? One case I saw for myself, one was the son in the family telling me what happened and one was in court. But hey, believe what you want.

Man is threatening and intimidating and women need protecting seems to be the idea.

hes not threatening and has zero record of any violence or any criminality in his whole life.

py2006 · 10-04-2014 10:31PM

stpaddy99 wrote: »

its 100% true its not a fabrication. im pretty sick of being called a liar here. this happens all the time, but Ive known him for many years and hes salt of the earth

I didn't mean to suggest you made it up. It was more a response to those who were suggesting it.

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:33PM

Trigger Happy wrote: »

The original post sounds like a country and western song.
Assuming you are not trolling the best advice is to grow a pair and fight for what is yours and what are your rights.
Fck me, she will be having you around to clean the windows if you don't.

its 100% true. ok grow a pair? predictable cliché? how ? what do you suggest he does? taking into account hes pretty much homeless now has debts up to his eyeballs and estranged from his kids. also the fact legal aid is not available to him and he cant get a council house.

StinkyMunkey · 10-04-2014 10:33PM

stpaddy99 wrote: »

I knew there would be people questioning my integrity on this. why would I make this up? Ive known of many similar situations over the past 5 to 10 years. where the guy loses everything overnight. once youre out and the wife has the kids it seems youre finished. when she changes locks and you attempt to break the locks, bang she calls police and youre arrested.

he has been in front of a judge and as there was no legal aid he felt he had to sign a form or else face being fines or even sent to jail. the paperwork hes signed states he cannot see the kids for 12 months, he is also not allowed to go within 100metres of the house he is now paying for. he actually paid for a new kitchen to be completed late last year and the car on hp which he also pays. ive known him a long time and found him a lovely bloke , honest decent hard working family man. as I said the only thing id say is hes a bit naïve. but any bloke could end up in that situation. the wife has a lot of divorced mates and he feels they heavily influenced and advised her how to get the situation to this point.

its a shame he doesn't have the ability to cry easily or he may have won more sympathy and support in court. hes now working around the clock, debts up to his eyeballs, lost id guess 3 stones in weight, is practically homeless and estranged from his kids. and its a mans world?

he lives in mid wales

Sorry, but your friend needs to grow a set of balls. He needs to stop paying through the nose to keep her in luxury while he lives in squalor.

She sounds like a right nasty piece of work. Id rather be unemployed and homeless than pay for that bint to live in luxury.

And if the kids are being poisoned against him anyway, why worry about what they will think if he stops paying the bills. Its one of the most evil downright nasty things you can do, use childern as tools to punish another parent.

My parents split when i was 7, they hated each other after, but never once spoke ill of each other. They didnt speak for 25 years, they are actually very friendly towards each other now.

If your friend stops paying, the kids wont go hungry, so dont fret about that. Instead of paying all the bills for this bint, use the money to for a good solicitor. Unless im mistaken, no court would send this guy to prison for not paying allowance if he simply cannot afford the amount he is paying.

stpaddy99 · 10-04-2014 10:34PM

py2006 wrote: »

I didn't mean to suggest you made it up. It was more a response to those who were suggesting it.

well I didn't make anything up. I could even detail several other almost identical situations when blokes ive down for many years ended up in the exact same nightmare.

advice for man whose wife took everything?

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