Does anybody ring up those sex chatlines?

YellowFeather · 06-04-2014 03:00PM #1

Ya know the ones. "Gorgeous girls are waiting for your call right now. Dressed in skimpy underwear. And gyrating on a couch for some reason."

I just saw an ad there on 3e for one for single women to ring up for free. The girl on the ad seemed pretty happy. She kept jumping up and down and stuff. What exactly is the guy saying to her? And what's the point in a free service? Surely they start charging at some point. How good is the call that, after ten minutes, you're hooked enough to start paying premium rates?

I don't get it.

wazky · 06-04-2014 03:12PM

Yes I do, it's the one instance where my premature ejaculation is a positive.

cml387 · 06-04-2014 03:13PM

And they always use the same dwarf anyway.

Muise... · 06-04-2014 03:23PM

I knew a woman who worked on one years ago, back when only boastful people had brick-sized mobile phones. She used to enjoy making up characters and stories to tell the callers, but hated it when she'd hear the pips and realise she was assisting in the jizz-splashing of a public phonebox. :eek:

Gannicus · 06-04-2014 03:28PM

I did once to see what the fuss was all about when I was 19 or 20. Was shíte and added nearly €5 onto me phone bill just to get to the person "to chat with".

Muise... wrote: »

I knew a woman who worked on one years ago, back when only boastful people had brick-sized mobile phones. She used to enjoy making up characters and stories to tell the callers

Is she:

A) Hot

Single
C) Both

If answer is B or C hook me up ha ha ha ha

shopaholic01 · 06-04-2014 03:29PM

Muise... wrote: »

I knew a woman who worked on one years ago, back when only boastful people had brick-sized mobile phones. She used to enjoy making up characters and stories to tell the callers, but hated it when she'd hear the pips and realise she was assisting in the jizz-splashing of a public phonebox. :eek:

What would she say to them? How long would the calls/callers last?

Davarus Walrus · 06-04-2014 03:33PM

I'd say it's mostly single men in their 50's and 60's who ring these. Full of cheap lager, feelings of loneliness and with a dose of the horn.

06-04-2014 03:37PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

What would she say to them? How long would the calls/callers last?

"Hey there sexy...I'm so hot I'm burning up...can't cool down...guess where I'm touching myself, and why...."

Translation:

Thank christ you can't see me boi, I'm havin' a hot flush and trying to scratch me back, but I haven't been able to reach that spot in years.

Muise... · 06-04-2014 03:38PM

Big Steve wrote: »

I did once to see what the fuss was all about when I was 19 or 20. Was shíte and added nearly €5 onto me phone bill just to get to the person "to chat with".

Is she:

A) Hot
Single
C) Both

If answer is B or C hook me up ha ha ha ha

D) Lesbian, only not in a porno "lesbian" way.

shopaholic01 wrote: »

What would she say to them? How long would the calls/callers last?

Her most popular character was a middle-aged, middle class wife, who would get very very drunk at dinner parties she was hosting for her husband's business colleagues, and crawl under the table to suck them all off.

I never asked her how long the calls lasted. Till the callers ran out of 20p coins, I suppose. :pac:

kowloon · 06-04-2014 03:38PM

I wonder if you could connect two of them in a conference call, how long would it take them to realise?

Cantremember · 06-04-2014 03:39PM

I tried to buy a sofa off this one that was on the telly a few years ago. Grand sofa it was.

tomwaterford · 06-04-2014 03:39PM

kowloon wrote: »

I wonder if you could connect two of them in a conference call, how long would it take them to realise?

I would say phone bill would be frightening...they would never hang up:P

Femme_Fatale · 06-04-2014 03:42PM

I know a woman from West Cork who has worked on them. In fairness, she has the sexiest voice (and no, she doesn't have a Cork accent). But she used to be told to put on a posh English accent for the Irish phone-lines, and keep her unusually sexy Irish accent for the British ones.

YellowFeather · 06-04-2014 03:43PM

Davarus Walrus wrote: »

I'd say it's mostly single men in their 50's and 60's who ring these. Full of cheap lager, feelings of loneliness and with a dose of the horn.

But, sure in this day and age, would they not just use the internet? I'm still curious about the one for women to ring up though. They must have an audience. But who???

Muise... wrote: »

Her most popular character was a middle-aged, middle class wife, who would get very very drunk at dinner parties she was hosting for her husband's business colleagues, and crawl under the table to suck them all off.

:eek: That's actually brilliant though.

antodeco · 06-04-2014 03:43PM

Preistchat is where it's at these days.

06-04-2014 03:45PM

I looked on Youtube for the clip of Vicky Pollard working on the sex line.

Can't find it though

Menas · 06-04-2014 03:45PM

kowloon wrote: »

I wonder if you could connect two of them in a conference call, how long would it take them to realise?

There was a recording doing the rounds about 10 years ago of exactly that. Both girls were following the same script with each other. Can't find it now though.

beano345 · 06-04-2014 03:46PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkk_a_XaBc4

06-04-2014 03:49PM

I wonder if any of the clients really believes there's a stable of hot girls squirming around in push up bras, twirling their hair around their fingers while they wait for random strangers to call them for session of self love?

Fair amount of suspension of disbelief in play I'd say.

The Backwards Man · 06-04-2014 03:53PM

It's like the two old farmers waiting for the new AI station to open for the first time.

'Awful quiet for a place of it's kind' says one to the other as he tried to peer in through the window.

Femme_Fatale · 06-04-2014 03:53PM

Candie wrote: »

I wonder if any of the clients really believes there's a stable of hot girls squirming around in push up bras, twirling their hair around their fingers while they wait for random strangers to call them for session of self love?

Fair amount of suspension of disbelief in play I'd say.

The women can work from home. Watched a documentary about it and it was a middle-aged woman with a headset - attractive woman but sitting on her couch with a cup of tea and knitting and wearing just a comfy jumper for around the house, and slacks, and saying breathily "I'm playing with myself now big boy" - a look of total disinterest on her face.

shopaholic01 · 06-04-2014 03:53PM

Candie wrote: »

I wonder if any of the clients really believes there's a stable of hot girls squirming around in push up bras, twirling their hair around their fingers while they wait for random strangers to call them for session of self love?

Fair amount of suspension of disbelief in play I'd say.

But these hot, single girls are only in their area, it's not a nation-wide phenomenon.

Femme_Fatale · 06-04-2014 03:58PM

Although there are chat-lines now with the girl (skimpy underwear, writhing around on a bed, making sex faces, dirty talking and borderline masturbating) on your TV screen, and if you phone up she'll speak to you - yes, YOU, personally.

Muise... · 06-04-2014 03:59PM

Candie wrote: »

I wonder if any of the clients really believes there's a stable of hot girls squirming around in push up bras, twirling their hair around their fingers while they wait for random strangers to call them for session of self love?

Fair amount of suspension of disbelief in play I'd say.

I think any kind of sex requires suspension of disbelief, slowly, from the clasps of a silk suspender belt...

or else it'd be weird and you'd be laughing too much to do it.

It's often said men are more aroused by images than women are, so it'd be interesting to see how the line for women gets on. I'd say the whole point of the phone lines is the interaction and imagination, which porn can't provide. And as someone whose hearing is practically an erogenous zone, I kinda get it.

kowloon · 06-04-2014 04:00PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

But these hot, single girls are only in their area, it's not a nation-wide phenomenon.

There are hot, single girls in 'unidentified proxy'.

Red21 · 06-04-2014 04:01PM

Davarus Walrus wrote: »

I'd say it's mostly single men in their 50's and 60's who ring these. Full of cheap lager, feelings of loneliness and with a dose of the horn.

Those guys would probably be able pay for the real deal.

I'd say it's mainly 14/15 year old teenagers, who get away with it for a while until the phone bill comes, then their mothers end up hammering them round the house with a frying pan.

Molester Stallone · 06-04-2014 04:08PM

Red21 wrote: »

Those guys would probably be able pay for the real deal.

I'd say it's mainly 14/15 year old teenagers, who get away with it for a while until the phone bill comes, then their mothers end up hammering them round the house with a frying pan.

Sex lines & then a bit of s&m? I never had it so good when I was 15!

shopaholic01 · 06-04-2014 04:10PM

Red21 wrote: »

I'd say it's mainly 14/15 year old teenagers, who get away with it for a while until the phone bill comes, then their mothers end up hammering them round the house with a frying pan.

No doubt that would be an equally effective horn killer.

osarusan · 06-04-2014 04:15PM

Cost my parents a bomb on their Telecom eireann bill one month many many moons ago. It was just recordings then (maybe it still is now) - you called, and a sexy voice started telling a sexy story.

My father called the phone company to find out what the big bill was for, and the person mercifully replied with a vague comment about 'entertainment' numbers. I told them I was listening to music - new releases of songs - over the phone. No idea whether they believed me or not.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 06-04-2014 04:29PM

There was a programme on C4 a couple of years ago, about the women that work on them. All different backgrounds, early 20s student, middle aged housewife etc. The student was out walking along a canal whilst talking dirty, not a bother on her.

The housewife had her friends over for coffee, and the dude was on loudspeaker, the friends were struggling to hold in their laughter! Nice little earner too, one of them said the longest call they'd received was 110 mins, I think, at £2 a min :eek:

I'd do it myself if I thought there was anyone willing to pay to listen to me!

06-04-2014 04:30PM

osarusan wrote: »

I told them I was listening to music - new releases of songs - over the phone. No idea whether they believed me or not.

Of course they didn't, but they didn't want to embarrass you either.

Does anybody ring up those sex chatlines?

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