When your brain just switches off

Nino Brown · 25-03-2014 07:16AM

I stood at my front door once, pointing my car key at it, pressing unlock. Just in case anybody else tries to steal my idea......it doesn't work.

itac · 25-03-2014 07:33AM

Was driving late one night after an 11hr day, 1 &1/2hrs into a 3hr journey, i stopped into a 24hr for a coffee. At the counter, i decided to grab a yorkie. The guy behind the counter said with a grin "ahhh yorkies...they're not for girls!"
My brain came up with the not-so-witty reply "i'm not a girl, i'm a woman, so i'll have a yorkie whenever!"
However my mouth just uttered "i'm not a girl..." And stopped.
Cue the guy behind the counter looking at me rather quizzically til my mouth said "no! i am a woman! And that was meant to be funny but i'm really tired...."
At least i left there smiling!

DeanAustin · 25-03-2014 07:36AM

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

I go to Tesco to get the shopping somtimes. The Missus times it and rings me as I wander aimlessly around, knowing full well I have no idea WTF I'm there for, despite being told three times before I left.

Similar to this, there is a mathematical equation that applies to men (or at least me) when going to the shop.

If x = the number of items the missus asks me to get, no matter how big or small a number x is, I always come back with x -1.

Just realised that for the first time since I left school nearly 20 years ago, I've managed to use algebra for something...

ivytwine · 25-03-2014 10:01AM

DeanAustin wrote: »

Similar to this, there is a mathematical equation that applies to men (or at least me) when going to the shop.

If x = the number of items the missus asks me to get, no matter how big or small a number x is, I always come back with x -1.

Just realised that for the first time since I left school nearly 20 years ago, I've managed to use algebra for something...

Ah the old 'go to the shop for milk, come back with tea, bread, onions, apples, a beach ball and a paperback' routine. Online shopping is a gift!

seagull · 26-03-2014 06:17PM

Cork selfbuild wrote: »

Trying to lock the house with the car key, the button not the actual key...

Isn't that something that everyone tries at least once? I thought it was so common it didn't deserve a mention.

seagull · 26-03-2014 06:22PM

ElleEm wrote: »

I did similar where I got fully dressed and ready for the day and left my house with no shoes on! The cold hard ground swiftly reminded me of what I was missing!

There were a couple of times when I stopped my wife heading out in her slippers. Busy walking out the door, and I'd suggest she might want to change her footwear.

seagull · 26-03-2014 06:33PM

DeanAustin wrote: »

Similar to this, there is a mathematical equation that applies to men (or at least me) when going to the shop.

If x = the number of items the missus asks me to get, no matter how big or small a number x is, I always come back with x -1.

Just realised that for the first time since I left school nearly 20 years ago, I've managed to use algebra for something...

Almost right in my case.
x-1 is typically the number of items that were on the list that I come home with.
The number of items I get back with is probably more like x+5

unfortunately · 26-03-2014 06:38PM

Once when I was a kid, I was going about my business while daydreaming. Eventually when I came back to reality I was standing over an old coal bucket in our sitting room with the lad out ready to piss. I stopped then thought for a second then went back into the bathroom to see the wrapper of a Twix bar, I'd just been eating, floating in the toilet.

When I told my friend this story he told me how once when he was lighting the fire his house he too was daydreaming; when he came to he was about to pour a full bucket of coal down the toilet.

Pumpkinseeds · 26-03-2014 07:13PM

I went to the supermarket today for ingredients to make a savoury mince dish. Got home and as soon as I reached the front door I realised that I'd gotten everything except the mince.

LynnGrace · 27-03-2014 02:21PM

Returning clothes to a shop for refund/ exchange, carefully take out receipt, place in wallet, hop into car, then realise that the item of clothing is still safely in the house.

y0ssar1an22 · 27-03-2014 02:30PM

I've done this a few times...
Looking for TV remote/phone/glasses. After a minute or so of searching you realise the damn thing is in your hand :P

Anyone else

kfallon · 27-03-2014 02:30PM

Went to ATM machine once, put in card, typed in pin, typed in the amount. Completed the transaction, took my card back and headed off. About ten seconds later, walking up the road, this woman taps me on the shoulder, "You forgot to take your money!!!" What a dozy prick, I was in a different world thinking about something else!

It was only a score, dread to think if I'd been taking out a few hundred and had left it there

Had completely switched off

Pumpkinseeds · 27-03-2014 02:50PM

I was in the bank recently and was using the machine to make a lodgement. There I was tapping the numbers on the screen and getting frustrated that it wasn't working. As I turned to walk away and go to the counter instead I realised that I was still holding my atm card, I just hadn't put it in the machine:o

Once you hit 30 your body makes it harder for you to do things you once found easy, I think now that I'm in my 40's my body is punishing me for all the things I subjected it to in my 20's:D

danniemcq · 27-03-2014 03:27PM

A lot of these can be explained, well some...

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-walking-through-doorway-makes-you-forget/

basically you walk through a doorway and your brain resets. Think of all the times you left the room for something and as soon as you enter the next room you can't remember why. Blame the doorway.

as for switching off your brain this happens me all the time, sitting looking at nothing, eyes glazed over, million miles away, looking deep in thought.

What am i thinking of? nothing, nothing at all. This seems to be a guy only thing as girls always get annoyed that i'm hiding stuff or something when they ask what you thinking about and I honestly say "nothing". Have mates that are the exact same.

Its either nothing or if i was a spy where would my dead drops take place, where would be a good place to snipe around here or where would i create a fort

daithi1970 · 27-03-2014 03:30PM

I can remember a time in school, I was asked by my religion teacher to say the Our Father to kick off religion class, i got as far as "who art in heaven" and my mind drew a total blank..he was too flabberagsted at this to even hit me a wallop...................

d

maguic24 · 27-03-2014 03:45PM

Threw my clothes into the bin instead of the laundry basket....TWICE!!! >.<

I sometimes drive in the wrong direction when I'm not thinking and then all of a sudden realise I'm not going the right way. It's like my brain goes into auto-drive. Sometimes I wonder how I have never crashed the car. I seem to get to work without remembering the journey. Doesn't happen everyday but every once in a while.

I call it a brain fart.

Muise... · 27-03-2014 04:32PM

daithi1970 wrote: »

I can remember a time in school, I was asked by my religion teacher to say the Our Father to kick off religion class, i got as far as "who art in heaven" and my mind drew a total blank..he was too flabberagsted at this to even hit me a wallop...................

d

It's "Hallo be die name."

I got your back daithi.

daithi1970 · 28-03-2014 02:27AM

:D:D

Muise... wrote: »

It's "Hallo be die name."

I got your back daithi.

ivytwine · 28-03-2014 10:50AM

daithi1970 wrote: »

I can remember a time in school, I was asked by my religion teacher to say the Our Father to kick off religion class, i got as far as "who art in heaven" and my mind drew a total blank..he was too flabberagsted at this to even hit me a wallop...................

d

... Papa don't preach....

Dougal

ArnoldJRimmer · 28-03-2014 11:25AM

Went into the shop to buy cigarettes, handed the cashier 20 euro. She stared back at me for a few seconds and I realised that I hadn't actually spoken to ask for the smokes yet.

When your brain just switches off

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