What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

preston johnny · 09-01-2014 09:12PM

My cock is 12 Inches long..............but I don't use it as a rule.

Guffy · 09-01-2014 09:14PM

Jawgap wrote: »

My advice to anyone heading on a first date, particularly some of the younger chaps, is to recognise that girls like men who are caring and considerate.

After the date has concluded I recommend texting her every 10 to 15 minutes to check she is home ok - this will bring it's own rewards.

Likewise, girls like spontaneity and surprises - calling around to her place at 3am on a weekday night shows you understand this.

Get to know her friends - if you haven't talked for a few days call and spend at least an hour quizzing her on who she's been spending time with.

Find out what time she leaves for work and be there to give her a lift.......every morning - for extra bonus points give her a lift home every evening and for extra extra bonus points show up unexpectedly for a surprise lunch - do this when she is with her friends so they too can see how extra 'special' you are.

.....and remember court injunctions are just her way of showing she cares by talking to strangers about you.....

Was thinking what the hell is this stalker on about.

Sir Arthur Daley · 09-01-2014 09:18PM

There is no need for condoms i am a dinger at coitus interruptus.

IvaBigWun · 11-01-2014 02:40AM

"Hi there, Im Miley Cyrus"

Mariasofia · 11-01-2014 02:51AM

IvaBigWun wrote: »

"The Jeremy Kyle Show is really good, really essential TV"

Oh ......Id be in love!!!! :-D

Neil Andblomee · 11-01-2014 03:07AM

And my boards name is .......

IvaBigWun · 11-01-2014 11:21PM

Mariasofia wrote: »

Oh ......Id be in love!!!! :-D

:eek:

IvaBigWun · 28-01-2014 08:44PM

"Hello there, Im Michael Bay"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DTtns4NCc8

Pumpkinseeds · 28-01-2014 08:49PM

My wife doesn't understand me.

Stainless_Steel · 28-01-2014 08:52PM

Ted Bundy is my hero.

czechlin · 26-02-2014 01:34PM

I can't think of any lines in particular.
But talking about ex is usually not a good one.
I also don't like dates when I feel like I'm interrogated. Dreadful two hours, dreadful... thank whoever is responsible for the invention of alcohol!

Aphex · 26-02-2014 02:53PM

Sweet statutory, you look great!

Santa Cruz · 26-02-2014 02:58PM

Timmy said that you were a rimming enthusiast

Ring4Fea · 19-03-2014 06:17AM

What do you mean exactly when you say your GP questions the notion of anal warts being contagious?

Okay, no, I'm not Michael Bay. (3 second beat) I'm Jan deBont.

So when you say you've had 2000 partners before me, you mean you work in Wall Street legal departments, right?

I don't get the reference. WHO'S this Ellen DeGeneres. ..?

Modern Family is written by straight men who hate gay men. Get over it.

I am NOT drunk NOR having a bad time. I'm just in shock over how much you look like the woman who used me as a beard to get her inheritance from her fundie great aunt who looked amazingly like Agnes Moorhead.

mikemac1 · 19-03-2014 06:45AM

IvaBigWun wrote: »

"Hi there. Im an accountant"

???

Nobody is better craic then an accountant :cool:

Ring4Fea · 19-03-2014 07:02AM

As they're excellent at padding what lies beneath for the final figures...?

GenieOz · 19-03-2014 07:03AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

???

Nobody is better craic then an accountant :cool:

Yeah..people who work with numbers all day are known for their amazing personalities and craic :pac:

Ring4Fea · 19-03-2014 07:06AM

What books do I enjoy? Well not too many, but I have every edition in every language of "The Bell Jar".

Ring4Fea · 19-03-2014 07:14AM

You remember the part of Cracked by Tiernan when he was talking about the thick blokes that made him hate school?

...

Tommy owes me royalties for inspiring that fooookin' gag.

MRnotlob606 · 19-03-2014 07:38AM

You have a nice slender neck for me to sink my teeth into

Ring4Fea · 19-03-2014 09:59AM

"No my dear the scars mean nothing. I enteted puberty watching Hammer Horror films."

krustydoyle · 19-03-2014 10:18AM

"You remind me so much of my mother"

Ring4Fea · 19-03-2014 10:49AM

No seriously, gangrenous nose ring holes didn't bother my last partner at all.

20-03-2014 11:25AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

???

Nobody is better craic then an accountant :cool:

Of course pet :P

Ring4Fea · 21-03-2014 02:06AM

Have you met my conjoined twin, Barry?

Lou.m · 21-03-2014 07:04AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

???

Nobody is better craic then an accountant :cool:

They can be great fun

Ring4Fea · 21-03-2014 07:20AM

"My other car is a Yugo."

Auldloon · 21-03-2014 07:48AM

Lou.m wrote: »

They can be great fun

Sexy fun

MRnotlob606 · 21-03-2014 07:49AM

Can i See your feet

CaraMay · 21-03-2014 07:51AM

Have you ever considered using a cod piece?

What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

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