What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

IvaBigWun

"Hi there. Im an accountant"

"All the voices in my head agree that you are the one for us"


"Oooh your top is lovely, looks great with those shoes and that necklace just sets the whole outfit right off! Where do you shop?"


Reach out, touch her belly gently as you lean in and whisper "soon you shall be plump with my seed"


"Ever read Boards.ie? Well Im IvaBigWun! Wanna see why?"



Over to you ...

Banjo String

Jesus you look even prettier than ever tonight .

You look even more like your sister with the makeup on like that.

cython

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

nibtrix

You don't sweat much for a fat chick

efb

Gonorrhea isn't that bad

Aineoil

You owe me a pint because when I saw you I dropped mine.

deise08

Belch and a few minutes later fart and that all from a girl

Mr. Incognito

Are you into rough sex.....like REALLY rough sex

wazky

You are so petite.

Perfect for my car boot.

Jawgap

Girl: Is it in yet?

B_Rabbit

Fcuk, didn't know beer goggles were that strong...

loveBBhate

Realistically, talking too much about the ex I suppose.

But not to be left out... "I'll give ya herpes ya bitch ya" or something along those lines

gobnaitolunacy

How'd you like to be buried with my people?

knickerbocker

I miss your mother so much.

Rabelais

Have you road frontage?

loveBBhate

Jawgap wrote: »

Girl: Is it in yet?

*puts it in the other hole. Boy: Now it is!

gerrybbadd

Nice legs, what time do they open?

Knex*

"Wanna play the rape game?"

"No."

"That's the spirit!"

.Henry Sellers.

My Mammy would love to meet you.......

..hold on and I'll call her over.

PizzamanIRL

Don't talk about your ex-girlfriend.

Don't talk about how many children you want or when you wanna get married.

irish_goat

Don't tell her you have ADD.




And don't tell her it stands for "A delicious dick".

IvaBigWun

Knex. wrote: »

"Wanna play the rape game?"

"No."

"That's the spirit!"

I shouldnt laugh but ...

gobnaitolunacy

How's yer belly for a lodger?

roro1990

BRB, just goin for a steamy dump

Aineoil

Rabelais wrote: »

Have you road frontage?

That's a very serious question.:D

If I was on a first date one of my first questions would be....." Now tell me how much road frontage do you have?

Asked in a totally innocent way:D

.Henry Sellers.

"I like the sound of your skin."

preston johnny

'Do any of your family and friends know where you are?'

BillyMitchel

Years ago I went out with a German and I knew it was going nowhere so I asked what side were her family on during the war.

cython

How loud is that rape whistle/alarm of yours again?

Knex*

Feck, I thought you were the other person in the photo.

ShadowHearth

SEX! SEX! Give me SEX! I WANT SEX NOW!!! Please!!!!

Jonkenji

I usually put on the mask from the "Saw" franchise of films, and ask her if she would like to play a little game.

greedygoblin

wazky wrote: »

You are so petite.

Perfect for my car boot.

Another one similar to this:

'Roses are red,
violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
Now get in the van'.

catallus

Roses are red get into the bed.


I've just eaten some skittles.... wanna taste the rainbow?

The Backwards Man

'Can you cut up my food for me? My Mammy usually does it.'

SimonLynch

When's the baby due?

mrDerek

Whats your name again?

RobbingBandit

Martini and a Roffie Colada. Giggidy Giggidy.

Knex*

"YOLO"

BillyMitchel

I remember one time when we were teenagers and a few couples went the cinema and the couples took different rows so we wouldn't be looking at each other and half way through the film one of the lads can be heard saying "just touch it, please, go on, just touch it".

preston johnny

I love you

Archeron

Leprousy took my original willy, but half the prostitutes I've been with say the robotic one is nearly as good, once you wind it up properly.

poppyvally

d'ye lek country and western?

preston johnny

So, what's your take on fisting?

mfergus

"We can't do it without condoms"
"Its ok, iv done this hundreds of times"

Knex*

BillyMitchel wrote: »

I remember one time when we were teenagers and a few couples went the cinema and the couples took different rows so we wouldn't be looking at each other and half way through the film one of the lads can be heard saying "just touch it, please, go on, just touch it".

Should have gone for the ol', dick in the popcorn box, routine.

"The warm ones are at the bottom"


Its a large box alright...

Aineoil

mrDerek wrote: »

Whats your name again?

I think we may have met at some stage?:D

dees99

My ex was a size six!

IvaBigWun

preston johnny wrote: »

I love you

I had that said to me on date 3 or 4 before.

Suffice to say we lasted 2 years.

cython

Wow, how do you turn your head 180 degrees like - Oh, you mean that's not your back?

knickerbocker

"So your brother tells me you get drunk really easily?"