You Manky Bastard

Renegade Mechanic · 09-03-2014 12:13AM

joe stodge wrote: »

Ok, the female who inhabited the house.

Keep trying

anncoates · 09-03-2014 12:15AM

Love the word Manky.

joe stodge · 09-03-2014 12:17AM

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Keep trying

Dirt bird?

joe stodge · 09-03-2014 12:22AM

WikiHow wrote: »

God bless imagination.

Work a few months in property maintaince and come back to me, for every person who maintains their house well there's another who an absolute shïte hawk.

I done work in another house where the person who was renting the house had an army of cats and let them piss and **** everywhere. The smell was that strong it stung the eyes. I was offered a cup of tea in that house, didn't take it.

Renegade Mechanic · 09-03-2014 12:33AM

joe stodge wrote: »

Dirt bird?

.... Actually thats pretty good.

sligojoek · 09-03-2014 12:42AM

Back in the building boom days the company I worked for tiled a wee estate of holiday homes in Bundoran. I had to go back a few weeks after we finished to do a bit of snagging in a few of the houses. I started in the kitchen of one house when some guy arrived out of the utility room, said Howaya" and went on his way. A while later three girls came in to clean the windows and give the house a once over. we were getting on grand for an hour till they got all snotty with me and f*cked off to another house and abandoned the one we were in. Anyway I started to notice a funny smell from the utility. Just off that room was a small room with a toilet and sink. Mr "howaya" had pebbledashed the toilet and cistern. I reckon he must have stood on the toilet when he was doing it. I got the foreman and described yer man. It turned out that he'd been sacked for thieving the previous Friday.

souls · 09-03-2014 12:57AM

"Wtf do you want Doubting Thomas?
Pictures of a cream cracker having a porter scutter?

Jesus,some people."

Haha classic!im gonna rob that and somehow work it into a conversation somehow

Stella Virgo · 09-03-2014 01:13AM

once knew a guy who got "laid off" from the site...on the last eve he went back into canteen ,took the elec kettle into the jacks and made the biggest porther ****e known to exist into the kettle,half filled it with water and piss and left it back on the counter......so lads check yer kettles on monday morning for foreign bodies......:eek:

Sam Kade · 09-03-2014 01:20AM

An electrician I know was working in this old couples house one time he had an apprentice with him. The old woman offered them tea but they refused as they noticed they had only 2 cups but she insisted that they have tea. The woman said to the apprentice you can use my cup, the apprentice being the cute hoor that he was decided to use his left hand to drink the tea even though he was right handed. When the old woman noticed him using his left hand she said begor sonny I see you are a ciotog like me self :eek:

Sir Osis of Liver. · 09-03-2014 01:50AM

Sam Kade wrote: »

An electrician I know was working in this old couples house one time he had an apprentice with him. The old woman offered them tea but they refused as they noticed they had only 2 cups but she insisted that they have tea. The woman said to the apprentice you can use my cup, the apprentice being the cute hoor that he was decided to use his left hand to drink the tea even though he was right handed. When the old woman noticed him using his left hand she said begor sonny I see you are a ciotog like me self :eek:

Interesting enough story,but how does it make her a manky bastard?

Cookie_Monster · 09-03-2014 03:13AM

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

This is the same guy who knew I was a vegetarian, due to me politely declining an offer of some rashers one morning, educating me on the finer points of poaching. One great trick is to buy a cows head, leave it at home rotting and collect the maggots and start baiting the river so the fish get a good taste for them. When they have a real appetite for the maggots, climb up a tree overhanging the river and tie the cows head up there so the maggots will fall into the water, the fish will gobble them up and you are there all ready to cash in with your booty.

what wrong with that?
As long as you're not keeping it in the living room or anything

Galwayguy35 · 09-03-2014 05:06AM

Went into the work toilets one morning and the toilet was full of shít and a pair of jocks thrown on the floor where the dirty fooker ran out of bog roll and went into MacGyver mode and used them instead.

The cleaning lady earned her money that morning.

Also remember as a young fella I used to earn a few bob doing farm work for an aul lad the lived nearby, he used to wash the dishes with a sock and had a pile of timber beside the range in the kitchen that he used to cut up when he needed firewood.

He was at our house one day and my mother made him tea, while he was drinking it he blew his nose in his hand.

I think he was like a lot of his generation and just knew no better.

Toots · 09-03-2014 05:22AM

A LOT of customers I'd see on a daily basis must be seriously manky bastards, honestly myself and the other cashiers can guess who's coming up in the queue because there are some that you can smell before you can see them. There are a few who obviously have mental health issues, so they don't really bother me, they're not manky bastards, the obviously need a bit of help taking care of themselves. There are others though, that are just horrendous - stink of BO, rancid breath, big black ring of dirt around their necks, nails you could grow potatoes in. Yuck.

Also a few years ago when I worked in a DIY store, there was a customer toilet just inside the front door and one day some dude went in there, took a **** on the floor and then proceeded to wipe it all over the walls, sink, mirror, door, everywhere. It was so bad that we had to ring for a specialist cleaner to come out to clean it because the cleaning firm that came in to do the day to day stuff like hoovering and mopping weren't covered to do it.

orangesoda · 09-03-2014 05:56AM

Maybe myself when i was 1st year at university, i went so long without changing my bed sheets that i was itching alot and got a rash on my scrotum, i then realised what the problem was. I am relatively clean nowadays but when i'm running behind with my washing i sometimes go commando and clean up after masturbation with a sock. Speaking of tossing, i knew a boy at school who emptied the balls into a pair of old boxer shorts and hid them under his bed and never washed them for years.

Sam Kade · 09-03-2014 11:52AM

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Interesting enough story,but how does it make her a manky bastard?

It doesn't but she did have 2 manky unwashed cups on the table

Sir Osis of Liver. · 09-03-2014 12:13PM

Sam Kade wrote: »

It doesn't but she did have 2 manky unwashed cups on the table

The lesser known viral 'One Granny,Two Cups'.

Nice.

Aglomerado · 09-03-2014 06:32PM

Dirty git at work never washes his tea cup. There's about 15 years worth of tea residue in it. And it sits on his desk when not in use. Gank.

joe stodge · 10-03-2014 12:07AM

I was working in the beacon south quarter at the arse end of the boom.

There was a phantom ****ter on site, everyday there would be **** found somewhere new dry risers, switch rooms, on cable trays and one in the fućking canteen.

It got so bad that the higher ups had to put signs in 3 different languages saying "anyone found deficating on site will be instantly dismissed". Didn't stop the bollix though.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater · 10-03-2014 12:20AM

I remember in secondary school there was a young fella who used to get a lot of stick from other lads in his class (they were a year or two behind me). It was nothing in particular about him, he just spoke funny, was a bit of a featherhead but he was sound enough and harmless.

Anyway, when we weren't in class, people would just peg their schoolbags in a pile in corners of the locker area and head out to play football or smoke fags or whatever. This lad's schoolbag went on a little journey into the jacks at some stage during the lunchtime and returned about 1lb heavier. Someone had taken a ****e in it and left it back.

appleb · 10-03-2014 12:29AM

I'm sure you and your school was proud of that.

AulBiddy · 10-03-2014 12:38AM

School is definitely the worst, the girls toilets are worse than the boys. Went in there one day to discover that some young one decided to lasso her tampon around the cubicle. It looked and smelled like someone had died in it.

Most days you'd find tampon applicators rolling around on the floor, sh*t smeared on the doors and pads stuck to the walls. One day found the dirtiest pair of knickers I ever saw just lying in the locker rooms.

Some women are disgusting.

Diemos · 10-03-2014 01:24AM

I house shared with a guy, just the two of us in the apartment, and he used to piss all over the bathroom floor and just leave puddle everywhere. There was just the two of us there, and it wasn't me! Dirty fecker.

I hate it when you are washing your hands and a cleaner comes in, and you know someone has left a mess in one of the cubicles, which you were about to go into but thought better of it when you noticed the state of it. I always think I should point out the "Cubicle 3 is a mess and it was not fooking me!".

I always think people who do those poo revenge stuff ( kettle, bathroom floor, house with no water on etc.) are a bit touched.

KH25 · 10-03-2014 10:13AM

Until recently I used to work at a gym and we had a member who would literally stink up the entire gym with BO. Now, I know people sweat and whatnot, some more than others, but then we discovered why this guy was so bad. He never, ever changed or cleaned his gym gear. The smell was so bad that people literally began walking out of the gym because they felt ill. Needless to say he was very offended when he was told to either change clothes, wash them or leave.

Aglomerado · 10-03-2014 02:15PM

Just went to the toilets in work. First cubicle I tried had Shit on the front of the seat, on the lip of it facing the door. Manky Bitches! :mad:

Renegade Mechanic · 10-03-2014 02:16PM

Aglomerado wrote: »

Just went to the toilets in work. First cubicle I tried had Shit on the front of the seat, on the lip of it facing the door. Manky Bitches! :mad:

I thought women were clean and only shat rainbows!? This thread SUCKS...

stefan idiot jones · 10-03-2014 02:19PM

There was a thread a while ago about trusting tradesmen.

I've think we've put that to bed.

Wossack · 10-03-2014 02:29PM

thread is doing wonders for my wedding diet - bleugh

Aglomerado · 10-03-2014 03:10PM

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

I thought women were clean and only shat rainbows!? This thread SUCKS...

Nooooo! They're a HUNDRED times worse than guys!

You Manky Bastard

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