You Manky Bastard

stefan idiot jones

Have you ever come across a situation in which you've questioned someone's hygeine or cleanliness standards?

When I was an apprentice we had an tight, old labourer (from farming stock, which may be stereotypical) who would never bring any food with him to work. He would always accept food of everyone elso though. After lunch one day (in a portacabin), I left my tool belt in there. I went back to retrieve it and found the manky old git rummaging around in the bin for half eaten sandwiches.

When working on a extension on a house we were asked by the owners if we would like a cup of tea? Now I don't drink tea or coffee so I graciously declined the kind offer. This house was a right kip, two big dogs sh!tting everywhere, engine parts here and there, the usual ashtrays overflowing in the living room.
One of the lads was enjoying his tea from a mug when he started spitting it out onto the floor. We asked him what the fcuk is he doing? Then he showed us his mug, there was half an inch of soggy biscuits resting at the bottom. The filthy bastards had not even swilled the mug out let alone wash it before making another cup with it.

ygolometsipe

2 girls 1 cup, ha ha!

wretcheddomain

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

Have you ever come across a situation in which you've questioned someone's hygeine or cleanliness standards?

When I was an apprentice we had an tight, old labourer (from farming stock, which may be stereotypical) who would never bring any food with him to work. He would always accept food of everyone elso though. After lunch one day (in a portacabin), I left my tool belt in there. I went back to retrieve it and found the manky old git rummaging around in the bin for half eaten sandwiches.

What type of people make sandwiches only to half-eat them? Why don't you guys just make half a sandwich instead?

.Henry Sellers.

I've worked in some kips, anything from finding used condoms under a bed to nicotine stained walls and ceilings so bad you wonder how the fcuk the person living there is still alive. I was on one job that had loads of used baby nappies thrown out the back, the level of dirt some people live in is boggling, pure laziness. I used to hate when working on housing sites, houses that didn't have the water turned on but were plumbed out.
Fellas would just keep pissing into a toilet and the urine would build up and stagnate when they moved on, I can still smell it. All it would take was a bucket of water thrown in to clear it. Dirty ****ers :mad:

LETHAL LADY

Worst place I've ever seen was a mad auld lads house. The cooker is in the bathroom and he boils the cabbage and bacon in there everyday. The toilet was up to the rim encrusted with a brown scum, as was the sink and bath. To make matters worse there was a green carpet on the floor which stank of piss and god knows what else. The man himself is reasonably clean for such a ****hole of a house.

FairytaleGirl

I work with addicts and the state In which some of the critters live is shocking!

There's one il never forget with the mix of urine alcohol and everything else - literally produced a stink so awful I thought the skin would peel off my face.

Il tell you what though, the amount of people who live in a level of poverty and deprivation would take the breath of you quicker than any smell

Renegade Mechanic

.Henry Sellers. wrote: »

I've worked in some kips, anything from finding used condoms under a bed to nicotine stained walls and ceilings so bad you wonder how the fcuk the person living there is still alive. I was on one job that had loads of used baby nappies thrown out the back, the level of dirt some people live in is boggling, pure laziness. I used to hate when working on housing sites, houses that didn't have the water turned on but were plumbed out.
Fellas would just keep pissing into a toilet and the urine would build up and stagnate when they moved on, I can still smell it. All it would take was a bucket of water thrown in to clear it. Dirty ****ers :mad:

Oh I hear that. Worked with carpenters when I was in school, Electricians were famous for sh*tting into little cardboard boxes (how they managed it without pissing Ill never know..) and leaving them in the attic. And Re: unplumbed houses, there was a sitewide vigilante watch for ages as one or more people (possibly disgruntled workers, possibly young yobs at night) had taken to leaving massive steaming piles in the toilet bowls. Animals.

shopaholic01

This thread is making me feel ill.

Paddy Cow

I used to clean for an elderly couple. They were lovely but too old to be taking care of themselves properly. The lady would always offer me a cup of tea before starting work but I had to decline as they wouldn't wash any of the mugs between my shifts and there would be an inch or two of sugar at the bottom of the cups.

One day I was cleaning the kitchen and there was an awful smell. I picked up a pot and the bottom of it was full of rice. On closer inspection it wasn't rice but a load of squirming maggots (which had caused the smell). It was absolutely rotton. I put the pot in a bag and threw it out. I finished my shift that day and never went back. I felt bad because they were so nice but I just couldn't face it anymore.

Davarus Walrus

Marched into the jacks this morning. Had 3 cups of coffee and two cigarettes so was in a bit of a hurry. Walked into a cubicle only to be confronted by a King Kong's thumb left resting on a bed of toilet paper. A shroud of Turin against the back wall and a rotten fent of fried onions and stout hanging in the air.

Didn't even make an attempt to flush. Gross.

Birneybau

Davarus Walrus wrote: »

Marched into the jacks this morning. Had 3 cups of coffee and two cigarettes so was in a bit of a hurry. Walked into a cubicle only to be confronted by a King Kong's thumb left resting on a bed of toilet paper. A shroud of Turin against the back wall and a rotten fent of fried onions and stout hanging in the air.

Didn't even make an attempt to flush. Gross.

Welcome back Flutt.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Was asked to install a shower in a settled travellers house once.The woman of the house let me in and showed me the job and left me to it.
The attic trapdoor was in the jacks.
The job was going grand ,after about two hoursI had all pipework and cableing connected.
Ready to test the shower I went back up to the attic to turn on the water supply.
Climbing down the attic ladder I got the most hideous smell of crap.There sitting on the bowl was a big fat knacker having a massive Guinness ****e.He didn't know who the fcuk I was and I wasn't expecting him.
For a moment I just stood there in shock until he turned to me and went "Howya Boss".
I ran out the open jacks door into the kitchen only to find a whole family of them drinking tea.None of them batted an eyelid even though yer man was having a ****e with the jacks door open.
I waited for the smell of death in the toilet to clear and was nearly puking finishing the job.
Collected my money and never went back.(although they did pay well.)

uch

Did any of them touch the Cake ??

.Henry Sellers.

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Oh I hear that. Worked with carpenters when I was in school, Electricians were famous for sh*tting into little cardboard boxes (how they managed it without pissing Ill never know..) and leaving them in the attic. And Re: unplumbed houses, there was a sitewide vigilante watch for ages as one or more people (possibly disgruntled workers, possibly young yobs at night) had taken to leaving massive steaming piles in the toilet bowls. Animals.

Haha you reminded me of a Phantom Hot press sh1ter we once had, like WTF! He was rumbled eventually, speaking of site mishaps. This is genuine as I was there the day it happened and heard the screams. For whatever reason there were some plumbers out the back of a house trying to sort out a waste pipe that was on the outside of the house, little did the plumber on the ladder know that someone just flushed a toilet full of crap and it all comes out on top of him.
I knew who was in the toilet at the time but didn't say anything as the plumber wanted to kill whoever gave him an organic shower.

joe stodge

Done work in a rented council house before, the lady of the house used to dump her used tampons under the bath.

She used to pull back the plastic side panel and drop them in, the plumber who discovered it ended up in the back garden getting sick...

shopaholic01

joe stodge wrote: »

Done work in a rented council house before, the lady of the house used to dump her used tampons under the bath.

She used to pull back the plastic side panel and drop them in, the plumber who discovered it ended up in the back garden getting sick...

:eek: Sweet Jesus, it would take less effort to put them in the bin.

Renegade Mechanic

Ok thats just fuggin sick.

mickstupp

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

Have you ever come across a situation in which you've questioned someone's hygeine or cleanliness standards?

Every single day in college. The amount of people who use the toilets without washing their hands afterwards makes me sick. I'm not talking about the average unclean person who takes a piss and then leaves. I'm talking about the ones who use the cubicles, taking a dump, then walk out without washing their hands. You see it multiple times a day.

Last Tuesday was particularly disturbing. The guy who used the cubicle before me didn't flush. That wasn't the disturbing bit. It was a big huge solid turd... and no toilet paper in sight. He dropped a gigantic log and walked right out without cleaning his arse or his hands. Rotten.

wazky

mickstupp wrote: »

Last Tuesday was particularly disturbing. The guy who used the cubicle before me didn't flush. That wasn't the disturbing bit. It was a big huge solid turd... and no toilet paper in sight. He dropped a gigantic log and walked right out without cleaning his arse or his hands. Rotten.

Maybe he done a Houdini?, best type of shite you can have.

Stavros Murphy

.Henry Sellers. wrote: »

Haha you reminded me of a Phantom Hot press sh1ter we once had, like WTF! He was rumbled eventually, speaking of site mishaps. This is genuine as I was there the day it happened and heard the screams. For whatever reason there were some plumbers out the back of a house trying to sort out a waste pipe that was on the outside of the house, little did the plumber on the ladder know that someone just flushed a toilet full of crap and it all comes out on top of him.
I knew who was in the toilet at the time but didn't say anything as the plumber wanted to kill whoever gave him an organic shower.

We were fixing a crapper downpipe on a big office block once - it led out of several jaxs over a couple of floors. I sent in one of the lads (whose english was a bit ropey, in fairness) to put "Out of Order" signs on the four or five toilets that fed into the line. Yer mans big smiley head pops out of a fourth floor window a few minutes later with a big thumbs up, so we cut into the line and started the repair.

Ten seconds later, a gout of scutter, paper and water descends, plastering me and the lad beside me from the thighs down. Mother of fcuking... "Thumbs up" boy took off on his toes as he reckoned we'd literally kill him, which was close to the truth, except we had shytey trousers and boots to be dealing with. I've had better days out, tbh. Turns out dopey had gone to the top floor, put up one sign and given the nod. The lads and lassies were crapping away good-time in the other four toilets. Lessons were learnt. Mainly to do with delegation.

Arthur Beesley

Davarus Walrus wrote: »

Marched into the jacks this morning. Had 3 cups of coffee and two cigarettes so was in a bit of a hurry. Walked into a cubicle only to be confronted by a King Kong's thumb left resting on a bed of toilet paper. A shroud of Turin against the back wall and a rotten fent of fried onions and stout hanging in the air.

Didn't even make an attempt to flush. Gross.

Any pics?

castletownman

I know a guy who never wears boxers or any form of underwear. When I questioned him about his reasons he said it saves time having to pull them down every time he does a number 2, and that over a course of a lifetime could save a few minutes overall.

He's persistent and adamant in his uncleanliness I'll give him that.

MultiUmm

joe stodge wrote: »

Done work in a rented council house before, the lady of the house used to dump her used tampons under the bath.

She used to pull back the plastic side panel and drop them in, the plumber who discovered it ended up in the back garden getting sick...

My jaw honestly dropped... what the actual fúck, I'd seriously question that woman's mental state tbh, it makes no logical sense to do that. Revolting.

A girl in my class has changed her bed sheets once since the start of the year. Once. That's 7-8 months of the same bed sheets essentially. She also (according to her room mate who's also in my class) rarely washes her clothes, and she told us herself she doesn't really shower often. It's not as shocking as some of the other stuff posted here but it's still pretty manky too.

A girl my best friend and I used to be friends with in secondary school used to leave her used pads around my friends house during her time of the month. As in she'd leave a used pad lying on the bathroom floor of the house that she was a guest in. She also showered rarely, maybe once a week. Met someone doing the same course as her and they asked me did she always have bit of a pong, old habits die hard it seems. :pac:

Was using the bathroom one day in college and I noticed brown stains on the wall... someone had decided to smear excrement on the wall. It was absolutely disgusting to look at.

It shocks me how filthy some people can be, considering all we know about basic hygiene and how it can prevent bugs/ disease from spreading as fast. There's no excuse for poor hygiene or disgusting uncleanliness. (Also this is probably more of an OCD thing on my part but it seriously grinds my gears when people don't sanitize their hands when entering/ leaving hospitals. Seriously, it takes two seconds and can prevent already sick people from getting sicker from secondary illnesses. So frustrating. :mad:)

policarp

Holy ****.
****ty Hole.

Sir Arthur Daley

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Was asked to install a shower in a settled travellers house once.The woman of the house let me in and showed me the job and left me to it.
The attic trapdoor was in the jacks.
The job was going grand ,after about two hoursI had all pipework and cableing connected.
Ready to test the shower I went back up to the attic to turn on the water supply.
Climbing down the attic ladder I got the most hideous smell of crap.There sitting on the bowl was a big fat knacker having a massive Guinness ****e.He didn't know who the fcuk I was and I wasn't expecting him.
For a moment I just stood there in shock until he turned to me and went "Howya Boss".
I ran out the open jacks door into the kitchen only to find a whole family of them drinking tea.None of them batted an eyelid even though yer man was having a ****e with the jacks door open.
I waited for the smell of death in the toilet to clear and was nearly puking finishing the job.
Collected my money and never went back.(although they did pay well.)

joe stodge wrote: »

Done work in a rented council house before, the lady of the house used to dump her used tampons under the bath.

She used to pull back the plastic side panel and drop them in, the plumber who discovered it ended up in the back garden getting sick...

God bless imagination.

Sir Osis of Liver.

WikiHow wrote: »

God bless imagination.

Wtf do you want Doubting Thomas?
Pictures of a cream cracker having a porter scutter?

Jesus,some people.

kylith

I rented a room in a house and in the course of settling in I pulled the bed out and discovered that the previous occupant had been in the habit of dropping his used condoms down the back of the bed. There were dozens of them back there, it was rank.

Poor Uncle Tom

joe stodge wrote: »

Done work in a rented council house before, the lady of the house used to dump her used tampons under the bath.

She used to pull back the plastic side panel and drop them in, the plumber who discovered it ended up in the back garden getting sick...

I think not.......,

Renegade Mechanic

WikiHow wrote: »

God bless imagination.

These people exist, trust me:( Doing up a house for renting about four years ago and these previous occupants decided the "material" gained from picking ones nose should go anywhere but a tissue then bin. The radiators were disgusting but the seats and kitchen table and chairs just had to be replaced..

stefan idiot jones

Some people are very strange indeed.

When I bought my last house the seller had to clear about thirty black bags of empty dog food tins that they had 'collected' and not yet recycled.

When working on a council house in Waterford there was a particularly grubby individual. No floor coverings, dirt swept up in a pile in the kitchen and left, frying pan an inch thick like a witches cauldron always on the go, greyhounds etc.
One day he said 'Stefan, I had a haemorrhage last night'. I was taken aback as haemorrhage to me meant a brain explosion.
He then explained that he had three teeth taken out yesterday by his 'vet friend' and during the night it had bled quite badly. He then showed me his pillow that he had woken up stuck to which looked like roadkill. He then threw the offending article covered in congealed blood back on the bed to sleep on again.

This is the same guy who knew I was a vegetarian, due to me politely declining an offer of some rashers one morning, educating me on the finer points of poaching. One great trick is to buy a cows head, leave it at home rotting and collect the maggots and start baiting the river so the fish get a good taste for them. When they have a real appetite for the maggots, climb up a tree overhanging the river and tie the cows head up there so the maggots will fall into the water, the fish will gobble them up and you are there all ready to cash in with your booty.

These people are out there unfortunately.

joe stodge

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

I think not.......,

Ok, the female who inhabited the house.

Renegade Mechanic

joe stodge wrote: »

Ok, the female who inhabited the house.

Keep trying

anncoates

Love the word Manky.

joe stodge

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Keep trying

Dirt bird?

joe stodge

WikiHow wrote: »

God bless imagination.

Work a few months in property maintaince and come back to me, for every person who maintains their house well there's another who an absolute shïte hawk.

I done work in another house where the person who was renting the house had an army of cats and let them piss and **** everywhere. The smell was that strong it stung the eyes. I was offered a cup of tea in that house, didn't take it.

Renegade Mechanic

joe stodge wrote: »

Dirt bird?

.... Actually thats pretty good.

sligojoek

Back in the building boom days the company I worked for tiled a wee estate of holiday homes in Bundoran. I had to go back a few weeks after we finished to do a bit of snagging in a few of the houses. I started in the kitchen of one house when some guy arrived out of the utility room, said Howaya" and went on his way. A while later three girls came in to clean the windows and give the house a once over. we were getting on grand for an hour till they got all snotty with me and f*cked off to another house and abandoned the one we were in. Anyway I started to notice a funny smell from the utility. Just off that room was a small room with a toilet and sink. Mr "howaya" had pebbledashed the toilet and cistern. I reckon he must have stood on the toilet when he was doing it. I got the foreman and described yer man. It turned out that he'd been sacked for thieving the previous Friday.

souls

"Wtf do you want Doubting Thomas?
Pictures of a cream cracker having a porter scutter?

Jesus,some people."


Haha classic!im gonna rob that and somehow work it into a conversation somehow

Stella Virgo

once knew a guy who got "laid off" from the site...on the last eve he went back into canteen ,took the elec kettle into the jacks and made the biggest porther ****e known to exist into the kettle,half filled it with water and piss and left it back on the counter......so lads check yer kettles on monday morning for foreign bodies......:eek:

Sam Kade

An electrician I know was working in this old couples house one time he had an apprentice with him. The old woman offered them tea but they refused as they noticed they had only 2 cups but she insisted that they have tea. The woman said to the apprentice you can use my cup, the apprentice being the cute hoor that he was decided to use his left hand to drink the tea even though he was right handed. When the old woman noticed him using his left hand she said begor sonny I see you are a ciotog like me self :eek:

Sir Osis of Liver.

Sam Kade wrote: »

An electrician I know was working in this old couples house one time he had an apprentice with him. The old woman offered them tea but they refused as they noticed they had only 2 cups but she insisted that they have tea. The woman said to the apprentice you can use my cup, the apprentice being the cute hoor that he was decided to use his left hand to drink the tea even though he was right handed. When the old woman noticed him using his left hand she said begor sonny I see you are a ciotog like me self :eek:

Interesting enough story,but how does it make her a manky bastard?

Cookie_Monster

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

This is the same guy who knew I was a vegetarian, due to me politely declining an offer of some rashers one morning, educating me on the finer points of poaching. One great trick is to buy a cows head, leave it at home rotting and collect the maggots and start baiting the river so the fish get a good taste for them. When they have a real appetite for the maggots, climb up a tree overhanging the river and tie the cows head up there so the maggots will fall into the water, the fish will gobble them up and you are there all ready to cash in with your booty.

what wrong with that?
As long as you're not keeping it in the living room or anything

Galwayguy35

Went into the work toilets one morning and the toilet was full of shít and a pair of jocks thrown on the floor where the dirty fooker ran out of bog roll and went into MacGyver mode and used them instead.

The cleaning lady earned her money that morning.

Also remember as a young fella I used to earn a few bob doing farm work for an aul lad the lived nearby, he used to wash the dishes with a sock and had a pile of timber beside the range in the kitchen that he used to cut up when he needed firewood.

He was at our house one day and my mother made him tea, while he was drinking it he blew his nose in his hand.

I think he was like a lot of his generation and just knew no better.

Toots

A LOT of customers I'd see on a daily basis must be seriously manky bastards, honestly myself and the other cashiers can guess who's coming up in the queue because there are some that you can smell before you can see them. There are a few who obviously have mental health issues, so they don't really bother me, they're not manky bastards, the obviously need a bit of help taking care of themselves. There are others though, that are just horrendous - stink of BO, rancid breath, big black ring of dirt around their necks, nails you could grow potatoes in. Yuck.

Also a few years ago when I worked in a DIY store, there was a customer toilet just inside the front door and one day some dude went in there, took a **** on the floor and then proceeded to wipe it all over the walls, sink, mirror, door, everywhere. It was so bad that we had to ring for a specialist cleaner to come out to clean it because the cleaning firm that came in to do the day to day stuff like hoovering and mopping weren't covered to do it.

orangesoda

Maybe myself when i was 1st year at university, i went so long without changing my bed sheets that i was itching alot and got a rash on my scrotum, i then realised what the problem was. I am relatively clean nowadays but when i'm running behind with my washing i sometimes go commando and clean up after masturbation with a sock. Speaking of tossing, i knew a boy at school who emptied the balls into a pair of old boxer shorts and hid them under his bed and never washed them for years.

Sam Kade

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Interesting enough story,but how does it make her a manky bastard?

It doesn't but she did have 2 manky unwashed cups on the table

Sir Osis of Liver.

Sam Kade wrote: »

It doesn't but she did have 2 manky unwashed cups on the table

The lesser known viral 'One Granny,Two Cups'.

Nice.

Aglomerado

Dirty git at work never washes his tea cup. There's about 15 years worth of tea residue in it. And it sits on his desk when not in use. Gank.

joe stodge

I was working in the beacon south quarter at the arse end of the boom.

There was a phantom ****ter on site, everyday there would be **** found somewhere new dry risers, switch rooms, on cable trays and one in the fućking canteen.

It got so bad that the higher ups had to put signs in 3 different languages saying "anyone found deficating on site will be instantly dismissed". Didn't stop the bollix though.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

I remember in secondary school there was a young fella who used to get a lot of stick from other lads in his class (they were a year or two behind me). It was nothing in particular about him, he just spoke funny, was a bit of a featherhead but he was sound enough and harmless.

Anyway, when we weren't in class, people would just peg their schoolbags in a pile in corners of the locker area and head out to play football or smoke fags or whatever. This lad's schoolbag went on a little journey into the jacks at some stage during the lunchtime and returned about 1lb heavier. Someone had taken a ****e in it and left it back.

appleb

I'm sure you and your school was proud of that.