Dating in Real Life Vs Movies

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Are you using binoculars? How long before she pulls the curtains?

I had to laugh as I read the OP because I'm only thinking about "There's something about Mary" that I was watching last night!

And that scene with Matt Dillon with the binoculars hoping to catch a glimpse of Cameron Diaz through her window and getting the old granny instead! :pac:

Paddy Cow wrote: »

You rarely see people in movies discussing contraception or STDs. They just jump into bed and have fantastic sex.

And then when they're finished with the fantastic sex their underwear just magically reappears so you don't get to see any bits when they get out of the bed.

I know people view Ireland as being the only country in the world where strangers don't approach each other on the street (Irish women being bitches is usually a reason given :rolleyes:) but you're a bit deluded if you think it goes on all the time in other countries OUTSIDE the pub/club context.

I'm not the worst looking woman in the world and either are my friends (some are exceptionally hot) and they were never asked out on the streets/book shops/whatever of Spain by a stranger. The only fellas who say anything to you on the street ARE, in fact, creepy (touching you, saying crude stuff to you etc.) and most women are very wary of them.

I was a year in South America and again, the guys who make any form of approaching on the street or anywhere wouldn't do it in a very respectful way. I was asked out a few times in a fairly normal fashion in a few countries but you got the impression those guys made a habit of it with their smooth lines and lack of sincerity.

I was out in bars in the USA the times I've been there and that's where I was approached (did the J1 and have been there a number of other times). Perhaps it's more common there but I don't believe it happens with the kind of regularity that people make out.

Women are wary because usually if a fella says something to you or approaches you walking down the street, they're usually not all that respectful. I've been called slut, whore, bitch etc and I've been touched and groped. In Peru, men would shout at you, sometimes while holding their girlfriends hands and recently I was followed home to my flat (which I wrote a thread about). I can't leave my house and walk from my flat to the Metro 2 minutes away without some comment being made (no, I'm not boasting here, it happens to every woman/girl). Not a huge deal for me but it'd make you wary if someone did approach you sincerely and ask you out. I'm open-minded and am not some bitter wench and like flirting (I'm not single now though) but experience has increased suspicion. Sad but true. Most "advances" or comments I've had in public places have not been positive. Guys don't get this happening to them with any kind of regularity, so it's hard to empathise.

I was approached a couple of times in Italy when I travelled there on my own a few years ago and didn't get the sleazy vibe off either of them and they were very respectful. But I also got the cat calling on the street as well, so I was on guard a bit when they came over.

But this idea that everyone is asking each other out OUTSIDE the bar/club context in every country except Ireland is greatly exaggerated. I don't think we're as shy or as unconfident as some like to make out but approaching in that fashion is not the norm so any deviancy from the norm is looked on with suspicion....just like most other countries I've been to.

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

But obviously if a complete stranger approaches you in the middle of the street, you're going assume that they have to resort to doing so because they have not succeeded with girls in their social circle

I dunno about that. Some guys may have little or no females in their social circle. I can see why some people would be taken aback by it though as it would be so unexpected in that situation. Usually when a stranger approaches me on the street I assume they're selling something.

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

But this idea that everyone is asking each other out OUTSIDE the bar/club context in every country except Ireland is greatly exaggerated. I don't think we're as shy or as unconfident as some like to make out but approaching in that fashion is not the norm so any deviancy from the norm is looked on with suspicion....just like most other countries I've been to.

I would agree with this actually. Apart from the U.S and Canada I haven't seen it that much, but that doesn't take away from the fact that there is a huge reliance on alcohol here, and that suspicion you speak of can be seen in the bars and clubs too. In some ways there may be less of a barrier outside the pubs/clubs because women may not have the same guard up and are not expecting to get hit on. I think a lot of it has to do with how the guy is approaching a woman as apposed to the location.

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

How much different is the way people ask each other out(or the way people have their first kiss) in movies compared to real life? I was thinking about this recently and I asked myself, 'maybe it's not that it's different in movies, but different in Ireland?'

I can honestly say as a girl that I've never had a guy who's had the courage to make open advances towards me without the presence of alcohol. I mean yes, they're still all over you like a rash, but they don't try to kiss unless they 'out'! Is it the case that in real life, it's something that just happens, but in movies they have to make it happens.

I find that in real life, people normally don't dare do anything that's not expected of them! Is it even appropriate to ask someone out in this country prior to shift!

Do you make the move ever?

Daveysil15 wrote: »

And then when they're finished with the fantastic sex their underwear just magically reappears so you don't get to see any bits when they get out of the bed.

And their make up and hair is perfect, you never see them trying to dispose of the condom(I usually freeze mine for a later date ) or slip on the wrapper walking to the toilet etc.


Fcuk the movies, maaaaan....

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I just find Irish women to be huge culprits for what you described. Foreign women are very forward.

All of them? In every country? I call shenanigans on that one having lived in foreign countries for 10 years and being friends with foreign women ONLY.

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Yes, every sexual encounter with foreign women I had was due to the very obvious approaches they made. Irish women rarely act that way.

That doesn't mean foreign woman are forward and Irish women aren't though, that means some foreign women approached you and Irish women didn't.

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I can obviously only speak from experience. This whole thread is predicated on that premise. Plus, my sample size is well over 30, so my evidence is statistically significant.

:-P

Well I could say the same thing about foreign men then. I've been approached much more often in foreign countries than in Ireland. I would still never say, "Oh foreign men (all 3.5 billion of them) are more forward than Irish men", I'd put it down to a number of factors:

1) I'm foreign in another country and probably on the lookout for that kind of thing and am more open to advances of men and give off that vibe.

2) I'm blonde so probably a bit different to the average woman in those countries where I was approached but not so much in Ireland.

3) Going out and chatting up women is a massive part of a night out in many countries I've spent time in or the types of bars I've gone to (usually because people tend to go to certain bars in foreign countries and not where the locals drink - that's the case here in Madrid and the case in Dublin).


And actually, many women in many countries would have an old-fashioned view of courtship and wait to be chatted up. Perhaps they're more forward in some countries but that can't be generalised as "Foreign women".

Czarcasm wrote: »

Ahh Jesus Chazz, does this have to crop up in EVERY thread? It ruins it! I get approached by girls and fellas all the time. Does that mean Irish people are more forward? No, it just means that in any country you visit you're going to meet all sorts of different people, and even when those people visit here, they're not going to be the same as they were back home, so all this nonsense about Irish vs. Foreign is utterly meaningless.

It does ruin it, you're right. It'd be nice if there was debate without those kinds of comments for a change but there never, ever is.

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

Ah Jasus Chazz, even the stalker has taken the moral high ground over you!

Does not compute.