Dating in Real Life Vs Movies

Wanna Come Down

How much different is the way people ask each other out(or the way people have their first kiss) in movies compared to real life? I was thinking about this recently and I asked myself, 'maybe it's not that it's different in movies, but different in Ireland?'

I can honestly say as a girl that I've never had a guy who's had the courage to make open advances towards me without the presence of alcohol. I mean yes, they're still all over you like a rash, but they don't try to kiss unless they 'out'! Is it the case that in real life, it's something that just happens, but in movies they have to make it happens.

I find that in real life, people normally don't dare do anything that's not expected of them! Is it even appropriate to ask someone out in this country prior to shift!

Sir Arthur Daley

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

Is it even appropriate to ask someone out in this country prior to shift!

I drive an automatic so i cant answer.

BillyMitchel

Only new on the dating scene?

Plenty of men don't drink or live in pubs and have no problem asking anyone out.

Wanna Come Down

WikiHow wrote: »

I drive an automatic so i cant answer.

It's amazing the amount of people who are desperately trying to be funny.... on boards

Sir Arthur Daley

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

It's amazing the amount of people who are desperately trying to be funny.... on boards

Its very sad for sure, be alot funny on timber. :rolleyes:

jamesbere

I dont drink anymore, so do you want to go on a date.

Wanna Come Down

WikiHow wrote: »

Its very sad for sure, be alot funny on timber. :rolleyes:

"a lot"

BillyMitchel

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

"a lot"

Wanna come down off that high horse there? It's probably why no one sober asks you out.

Sir Arthur Daley

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

"a lot"

lol

humbert

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Wanna come down off that high horse there? It's probably why no one sober asks you out.

Pointing out that alot isn't a word is, for you, being on a high horse? You poor bastard.

mikom

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

I can honestly say as a girl that I've never had a guy who's had the courage to make open advances towards me without the presence of alcohol.

Yesss, courage..........

BillyMitchel

humbert wrote: »

Pointing out that alot isn't a word is, for you, being on a high horse? You poor bastard.

Pointing it out is actually against the charter and her other comment about people trying to be funny. Wants serious answers take it to PI.

worded

sugarman wrote: »

Its just Ireland.

When I spent a summer in the us a few years back, I'd girls regularly just com over and start a chat at bus stops, train station.. While in the supermarket etc.. And from there id be asked if I fancied a coffee or lunch etc.. Sometime.

I thought it was strange at first, but the more iv traveled since the more common I see it is.

Thinly veiled - I'm good looking

humbert

mikom wrote: »

Men don't approach you because you are unattractive. You see, this must be the case because this is Ireland where we have consigned alcohol dependency to the pages of history and where socialising between men and women is seldom done in the vicinity of that poisonous elixir. Furthermore you can certainly count on an objective viewpoint from those of us males online at 2am on Saturday.

Yess, After Hours.

MS.ing

if you need drink to approach or ask anyone out chances are you have **** all confidence

The Backwards Man

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

It's amazing the amount of people who are desperately trying to be funny.... on boards

You ain't seen nothing yet!

shopaholic01

MS.ing wrote: »

if you need drink to approach or ask anyone out chances are you have **** all confidence

Or require beer goggles.

the_syco

MS.ing wrote: »

if you need drink to approach or ask anyone out chances are you have **** all confidence

Some are thought by their peers that if they fancy someone, they're to get drunk, and ask her on the dancefloor.

'Cept you're kinda f**ked now that most places don't do a slow-set anymore...

confuseddotcom

Slow sh1te.

/thread

dobsdave

MS.ing wrote: »

if you need drink to approach or ask anyone out chances are you have **** all confidence

yes correct, and?

Daveysil15

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

I can honestly say as a girl that I've never had a guy who's had the courage to make open advances towards me without the presence of alcohol.

Hi do you fancy a shif... ohh wait, I'm still drunk.

No I reckon its an Irish thing alright. When I lived in Canada I was amazed at how open people were when it came to been approached and asked out. I've only ever been on one proper date in Ireland and that was when a Polish girl in work asked me out. I don't know if Ireland will ever really get into the whole dating scene the way they do in America for example. The drink is ingrained in our culture and most social activities revolve around it.

Voglio

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Hi do you fancy a shif... ohh wait, I'm still drunk.

No I reckon its an Irish thing alright. When I lived in Canada I was amazed at how open people were when it came to been approached and asked out. I've only ever been on one proper date in Ireland and that was when a Polish girl in work asked me out. I don't know if Ireland will ever really get into the whole dating scene the way they do in America for example. The drink is ingrained in our culture and most social activities revolve around it.

Irish people don't ask out people sober because they lack the confidence to do so. When you are confident you do what you want to do and don't just follow the crowd.

Daveysil15

Voglio wrote: »

Irish people don't ask out people sober because they lack the confidence to do so. When you are confident you do what you want to do and don't just follow the crowd.

Obviously confidence is a factor, but I think a lot of people in this country would be hesitant to approach someone outside of the pub scene and ask them out for fear of looking like a creep/weirdo; although I suppose it depends on how you go about it. It's generally not the done thing here. I know things have changed a bit with online dating and all, but even then, the dates usually take place in the pub, at least from what I've seen and heard anyway.

Penny Tration

I've been asked on 'dates' by sober people plenty of times. Drunk people try to get me to go home with them, not ask me out. :pac:

I've kind of had the 'movie' date thing though. Guy I knew through work asked me to be his gf before even kissing me, showed up at my bus stop the next day (I was going to work), walked straight over to me, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. :pac:

Way more fun than the drunk, getting the shift act, but I suppose more rare, too.

Voglio

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Obviously confidence is a factor, but I think a lot of people in this country would be hesitant to approach someone outside of the pub scene and ask them out for fear of looking like a creep/weirdo; although I suppose it depends on how you go about it. It's generally not the done thing here. I know things have changed a bit with online dating and all, but even then, the dates usually take place in the pub, at least from what I've seen and heard anyway.

Yes but when you are confident you don't care what other people think, you don't care if someone might think you are a creep or a weirdo. That's their problem.

Czarcasm

Voglio wrote: »

Yes but when you are confident you don't care what other people think, you don't care if someone might think you are a creep or a weirdo. That's their problem.

Fantastic! I'm off to peer in my neighbours window, if she thinks I'm a creep or a weirdo, that's her problem!

Do you even think about what you're saying before you say it, or do you just say it because you think it makes you seem cool?

Voglio

Czarcasm wrote: »

Fantastic! I'm off to peer in my neighbours window, if she thinks I'm a creep or a weirdo, that's her problem!

Do you even think about what you're saying before you say it, or do you just say it because you think it makes you seem cool?

That's clearly a violation of someone else's personal boundaries. That's just a childish comment to make unless of course you have a secret desire to peer into the windows of neighbouring houses. Most people don't.

When you are confident you can approach the opposite sex and not care that someone might think you are creepy or weird. I've broken this down Barney style for you but no doubt you'll reply with another irrelevant comment.

keeponhurling

Maybe it's a confidence thing to an extent, but in Ireland the rejections are also typically more brutal than other countries.

Also we do have more of a pub culture, and people spend more time around environments where there is alcohol.

Czarcasm

Voglio wrote: »

That's clearly a violation of someone else's personal boundaries. That's just a childish comment to make unless of course you have a secret desire to peer into the windows of neighbouring houses. Most people don't.

It's grand sure, I have my own personal moral code of conduct! I don't care about other people? That's cool with you right?

When you are confident you can approach the opposite sex and not care that someone might think you are creepy or weird. I've broken this down Barney style for you but no doubt you'll reply with another irrelevant comment.

So you can violate other people's personal boundaries as long as you believe you have a right to do so? How is that any different from me standing outside on the public footpath peering in your windows? I'm not breaking any laws!

Voglio

Czarcasm wrote: »

It's grand sure, I have my own personal moral code of conduct! I don't care about other people? That's cool with you right?





So you can violate other people's personal boundaries as long as you believe you have a right to do so? How is that any different from me standing outside on the public footpath peering in your windows? I'm not breaking any laws!

Go troll somewhere else.

Daveysil15

Czarcasm wrote: »

So you can violate other people's personal boundaries as long as you believe you have a right to do so? How is that any different from me standing outside on the public footpath peering in your windows? I'm not breaking any laws!

Are you using binoculars? How long before she pulls the curtains?

UtopianWarlord

keeponhurling wrote: »

Maybe it's a confidence thing to an extent, but in Ireland the rejections are also typically more brutal than other countries.

Also we do have more of a pub culture, and people spend more time around environments where there is alcohol.

I don't know if its that the rejections are more brutal. But we like to gossip, so if you do get turned everyone will know about it

Czarcasm

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Are you using binoculars? How long before she pulls the curtains?

I had to laugh as I read the OP because I'm only thinking about "There's something about Mary" that I was watching last night!

And that scene with Matt Dillon with the binoculars hoping to catch a glimpse of Cameron Diaz through her window and getting the old granny instead! :pac:

Czarcasm

Voglio wrote: »

Go troll somewhere else.

Ohh lighten up Voglio, truly confident people don't take themselves so seriously!

worded

keeponhurling wrote: »

Maybe it's a confidence thing to an extent, but in Ireland the rejections are also typically more brutal than other countries.

Also we do have more of a pub culture, and people spend more time around environments where there is alcohol.

Take the rejection at 45 seconds on this. Brutal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpZbaz3Wlfw

Paddy Cow

You rarely see people in movies discussing contraception or STDs. They just jump into bed and have fantastic sex.

Daveysil15

Paddy Cow wrote: »

You rarely see people in movies discussing contraception or STDs. They just jump into bed and have fantastic sex.

And then when they're finished with the fantastic sex their underwear just magically reappears so you don't get to see any bits when they get out of the bed.

Wanna Come Down

Voglio wrote: »

Yes but when you are confident you don't care what other people think, you don't care if someone might think you are a creep or a weirdo. That's their problem.

Well I guess when I meant being asked out while sober, I guess I assumed that the girl and guy in question would have chatted on a few occasions before and sort of know each other. But obviously if a complete stranger approaches you in the middle of the street, you're going assume that they have to resort to doing so because they have not succeeded with girls in their social circle

Legs.Eleven

I know people view Ireland as being the only country in the world where strangers don't approach each other on the street (Irish women being bitches is usually a reason given :rolleyes:) but you're a bit deluded if you think it goes on all the time in other countries OUTSIDE the pub/club context.

I'm not the worst looking woman in the world and either are my friends (some are exceptionally hot) and they were never asked out on the streets/book shops/whatever of Spain by a stranger. The only fellas who say anything to you on the street ARE, in fact, creepy (touching you, saying crude stuff to you etc.) and most women are very wary of them.

I was a year in South America and again, the guys who make any form of approaching on the street or anywhere wouldn't do it in a very respectful way. I was asked out a few times in a fairly normal fashion in a few countries but you got the impression those guys made a habit of it with their smooth lines and lack of sincerity.

I was out in bars in the USA the times I've been there and that's where I was approached (did the J1 and have been there a number of other times). Perhaps it's more common there but I don't believe it happens with the kind of regularity that people make out.

Women are wary because usually if a fella says something to you or approaches you walking down the street, they're usually not all that respectful. I've been called slut, whore, bitch etc and I've been touched and groped. In Peru, men would shout at you, sometimes while holding their girlfriends hands and recently I was followed home to my flat (which I wrote a thread about). I can't leave my house and walk from my flat to the Metro 2 minutes away without some comment being made (no, I'm not boasting here, it happens to every woman/girl). Not a huge deal for me but it'd make you wary if someone did approach you sincerely and ask you out. I'm open-minded and am not some bitter wench and like flirting (I'm not single now though) but experience has increased suspicion. Sad but true. Most "advances" or comments I've had in public places have not been positive. Guys don't get this happening to them with any kind of regularity, so it's hard to empathise.

I was approached a couple of times in Italy when I travelled there on my own a few years ago and didn't get the sleazy vibe off either of them and they were very respectful. But I also got the cat calling on the street as well, so I was on guard a bit when they came over.

But this idea that everyone is asking each other out OUTSIDE the bar/club context in every country except Ireland is greatly exaggerated. I don't think we're as shy or as unconfident as some like to make out but approaching in that fashion is not the norm so any deviancy from the norm is looked on with suspicion....just like most other countries I've been to.

Wanna Come Down

keeponhurling wrote: »

Maybe it's a confidence thing to an extent, but in Ireland the rejections are also typically more brutal than other countries

That's true too, but then again are those rejections from people under the influence?

Daveysil15

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

But obviously if a complete stranger approaches you in the middle of the street, you're going assume that they have to resort to doing so because they have not succeeded with girls in their social circle

I dunno about that. Some guys may have little or no females in their social circle. I can see why some people would be taken aback by it though as it would be so unexpected in that situation. Usually when a stranger approaches me on the street I assume they're selling something.

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

But this idea that everyone is asking each other out OUTSIDE the bar/club context in every country except Ireland is greatly exaggerated. I don't think we're as shy or as unconfident as some like to make out but approaching in that fashion is not the norm so any deviancy from the norm is looked on with suspicion....just like most other countries I've been to.

I would agree with this actually. Apart from the U.S and Canada I haven't seen it that much, but that doesn't take away from the fact that there is a huge reliance on alcohol here, and that suspicion you speak of can be seen in the bars and clubs too. In some ways there may be less of a barrier outside the pubs/clubs because women may not have the same guard up and are not expecting to get hit on. I think a lot of it has to do with how the guy is approaching a woman as apposed to the location.

Legs.Eleven

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I would agree with this actually. Apart from the U.S and Canada I haven't seen it that much, but that doesn't take away from the fact that there is a huge reliance on alcohol here, and that suspicion you speak of can be seen in the bars and clubs too. In some ways there may be less of a barrier outside the pubs/clubs because women may not have the same guard up and are not expecting to get hit on. I think a lot of it has to do with how the guy is approaching a woman as apposed to the location.

When drink is on board, all logic and reason goes out the window in BOTH genders. It's a messy set up in bars and clubs although tbh, I had a great time when I lived there. Maybe it was the kinds of places I drank in (alternatively kinds of places or old man pubs).

Chazz Michael Michaels

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

How much different is the way people ask each other out(or the way people have their first kiss) in movies compared to real life? I was thinking about this recently and I asked myself, 'maybe it's not that it's different in movies, but different in Ireland?'

I can honestly say as a girl that I've never had a guy who's had the courage to make open advances towards me without the presence of alcohol. I mean yes, they're still all over you like a rash, but they don't try to kiss unless they 'out'! Is it the case that in real life, it's something that just happens, but in movies they have to make it happens.

I find that in real life, people normally don't dare do anything that's not expected of them! Is it even appropriate to ask someone out in this country prior to shift!

Do you make the move ever?

Wanna Come Down

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Do you make the move ever?

If I like a guy I will make sure to go talk to him, and from there I will be willing to meet him half way

Legs.Eleven

Daveysil15 wrote: »

And then when they're finished with the fantastic sex their underwear just magically reappears so you don't get to see any bits when they get out of the bed.

And their make up and hair is perfect, you never see them trying to dispose of the condom(I usually freeze mine for a later date ) or slip on the wrapper walking to the toilet etc.


Fcuk the movies, maaaaan....

Chazz Michael Michaels

Wanna Come Down wrote: »

If I like a guy I will make sure to go talk to him, and from there I will be willing to meet him half way

I just find Irish women to be huge culprits for what you described. Foreign women are very forward.

Legs.Eleven

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I just find Irish women to be huge culprits for what you described. Foreign women are very forward.

All of them? In every country? I call shenanigans on that one having lived in foreign countries for 10 years and being friends with foreign women ONLY.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

All of them? In every country? I call shenanigans on that one having lived in foreign countries for 10 years and being friends with foreign women ONLY.

Yes, every sexual encounter with foreign women I had was due to the very obvious approaches they made. Irish women rarely act that way.

Legs.Eleven

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Yes, every sexual encounter with foreign women I had was due to the very obvious approaches they made. Irish women rarely act that way.

That doesn't mean foreign woman are forward and Irish women aren't though, that means some foreign women approached you and Irish women didn't.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

That doesn't mean foreign woman are forward and Irish women aren't though, that means some foreign women approached you and Irish women didn't.

I can obviously only speak from experience. This whole thread is predicated on that premise. Plus, my sample size is well over 30, so my evidence is statistically significant.

:-P

Legs.Eleven

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

I can obviously only speak from experience. This whole thread is predicated on that premise. Plus, my sample size is well over 30, so my evidence is statistically significant.

:-P

Well I could say the same thing about foreign men then. I've been approached much more often in foreign countries than in Ireland. I would still never say, "Oh foreign men (all 3.5 billion of them) are more forward than Irish men", I'd put it down to a number of factors:

1) I'm foreign in another country and probably on the lookout for that kind of thing and am more open to advances of men and give off that vibe.

2) I'm blonde so probably a bit different to the average woman in those countries where I was approached but not so much in Ireland.

3) Going out and chatting up women is a massive part of a night out in many countries I've spent time in or the types of bars I've gone to (usually because people tend to go to certain bars in foreign countries and not where the locals drink - that's the case here in Madrid and the case in Dublin).


And actually, many women in many countries would have an old-fashioned view of courtship and wait to be chatted up. Perhaps they're more forward in some countries but that can't be generalised as "Foreign women".