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Contribution for birthday party - OK or not?

1235

Comments

  • #122
    893bet
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 10,830 ✭✭✭✭893bet


    I would cut this friend loose very swiftly.


  • #123
    Martha Shy Table
    Posts: 6,645 ✭✭✭ Martha Shy Table


    Can't believe pretty much everyone said not to go! I honestly expected people to say I was being scabby!

    Still haven't RSVPed. Will do tomorrow. Sent birthday boy a text 4 days ago asking him how he was. Still no reply. Is it really that much effort to spend 30 seconds on a text back?


  • #124
    Lone Stone
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,404 ✭✭✭Lone Stone


    Its me your former friend, you ruined my suprise party !


  • #125
    roadsmart
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 625 ✭✭✭roadsmart


    Lone Stone wrote: »
    Its me your former friend, you ruined my suprise party !

    Answer the text you bollix


  • #126
    happypants
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 280 ✭✭happypants


    So is it a murder mystery meal for 5 couples in total? I dunno, if you're into that kinda thing it could be fun, what do you get for the £25? Does that include dinner?

    It's like being invited to a hens/ stag night, you pay for the activities and that, if you can't afford it, fair enough. Dont feel bad just make your excuses and ask if they'd like to do something another time. Or you could go but maybe not bring a gift or just buy the fella a drink as you've paid to partake in the night.


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  • #127
    zoe 3619
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 634 ✭✭✭zoe 3619


    Oh dear.seems that she doesn't quite get it.most people can't afford that for a night out;plus transport ;maybe accommodation.say no,invite her round for a cup of tea and hand her a bill as she leaves.failing that turn up at the bash.drink and eat everything.say you forgot your purse ,will drop the cash round soon.(and don't)are we talking actors like the local amateur dramatics group mingling with the guests


  • #128
    geckovision
    Closed Accounts Posts: 131 ✭✭geckovision


    Martha Shy Table wrote: »
    Can't believe pretty much everyone said not to go! I honestly expected people to say I was being scabby!

    Still haven't RSVPed. Will do tomorrow. Sent birthday boy a text 4 days ago asking him how he was. Still no reply. Is it really that much effort to spend 30 seconds on a text back?

    And she expects you to cough up for his party?

    Delete his number and and end this joke of a friendship. Life's too short for this sh!t.

    Concentrate on those who matter and make an effort. :)


  • #129
    Xidu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 364 ✭✭Xidu


    whoever arranged the party is doing the stupid thing. If this is a group people' decision to have some actor for xxx' birthday party, then chip in is fine as its a group decision. But not an individual' decision to ask a group of people to chip in.


  • #130
    Lyaiera
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭Lyaiera


    ScumLord wrote: »
    If you were a close friend I'd understand, close friends could have an idea for something and have no problems chipping in for someone they hang out with every day. To start ringing up people you used to know just sounds like fishing for funds.

    I think this plan of theirs will backfire on them if they're ringing around people they haven't talked to in ages begging for money. He's next birthday party could be a party for one.

    Riskymove wrote: »
    I think the issue is the framing of it by the wife as a contribution

    If it was a suggestion that ye all go to a show or an event together with people paying for their own admission I dont think it would look so bad.


    I agree with both of these. I have a few close friends where I'd put money towards a birthday party if I could afford it, especially if it was a significant birthday.

    I have a few friends who I could imagine getting a kick from a professional murder mystery night, and if it meant I was getting dinner, a drink and a show I'd happily throw in to cover myself and enough to cover the birthday person.

    If you were going to a restaurant for a birthday you'd pay for yourself, and I know my friends would chip in to pay for whose birthday it is. If I couldn't afford it I'd make my excuses.


  • #131
    Katgurl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,145 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    That is complete & utter b0!!0ck$. Did his missus organise it without him knowing or does he agree with this getting people to pay business?

    The only thing I would be basing my decision on would be whether I wanted to go or not. I would feel no obligation because it's his birthday.

    It sounds like you're not keen so I'd just send a text saying "bit out of budget, hopefully get out for a belated bday pint next time you're down my way". Ie "you can come visit me, you tight c**t".

    I posted this once on the scabby people thread but I once co-habits with a man who suggested we charge people to come to a dinner party. Yuck.


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  • #132
    Orlaw3136
    Closed Accounts Posts: 234 ✭✭Orlaw3136


    Why is he charging you in pounds ?


  • #133
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Orlaw3136 wrote: »
    Why is he charging you in pounds ?
    They're in London.


  • #134
    Orlaw3136
    Closed Accounts Posts: 234 ✭✭Orlaw3136


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    They're in London.

    Ah sure that all makes complete sense now, the bollix.


  • #135
    Martha Shy Table
    Posts: 6,645 ✭✭✭ Martha Shy Table


    His missus is organising it without his knowledge.

    To be honest, I would definitely go if he hadn't practically ditched me but not replying to texts/emails tells me you're not that bothered. He always has time to post on Facebook about his kid/job/news stories.


  • #136
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Reply and be done with it!


  • #137
    Sir Arthur Daley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    Birthday partys are for kids.


  • #138
    Katgurl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,145 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    Ok so his missus is organising it - that's a bit different. The same as you then OP, I would go if you were still good mates but you're not so don't bother.


  • #139
    Arbiter of Good Taste
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,200 ✭✭✭Arbiter of Good Taste


    There is no need to go -you're not being scabby at all. And there is no need to give an excuse. Just," sorry, I can't make it that night. Hope you have a great time", and leave it at that.


  • #140
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    I just got pissed in a pub all day for mine)

    Classy.


  • #141
    Teyla Emmagan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,638 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    CaraMay wrote: »
    Classy.

    Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed?


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  • #142
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Teyla Emmagan wrote: »
    Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed?

    Not yet no....

    It's just not clear to me why spending a full day getting drunk in a pub trumps a tacky birthday party? Both equally tacky with the exception that a bit of thought and effort has been put into the party.


  • #143
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    What exactly would your 25 notes get you?


  • #144
    Martha Shy Table
    Posts: 6,645 ✭✭✭ Martha Shy Table


    cloud493 wrote: »
    What exactly would your 25 notes get you?

    3-course homecooked meal, not sure if wine is included.


  • #145
    geckovision
    Closed Accounts Posts: 131 ✭✭geckovision


    Martha Shy Table wrote: »
    3-course homecooked meal, not sure if wine is included.


    People should not be expected to pay or even bring anything along if they're invited to a party/dinner party.

    If I'm hosting a party I provide everything - food and booze. Token bottles are appreciated, but I urge people not to bring anything. That's the way it should be and has always been done that way in our family.

    It's just crass otherwise.


  • #146
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Martha Shy Table wrote: »
    3-course homecooked meal, not sure if wine is included.

    Any sort of entertainment?


  • #147
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    geckovision wrote: »
    People should not be expected to pay or even bring anything along if they're invited to a party/dinner party.

    If I'm hosting a party I provide everything - food and booze. Token bottles are appreciated, but I urge people not to bring anything. That's the way it should be and has always been done that way in our family.

    It's just crass otherwise.

    Exactly. It's like 'come out to the pub for a quiet drink for my birthday' which ends up costing €120 when babysitters and taxis are factored in.

    Bottom line is if you want to invite people to celebrate an event then you pay for it.


  • #148
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,408 ✭✭✭bbam


    I hate going to birthday parties for adults, and apart from a few family ones that I attended (and hated) I just make excuses for any others I'm invited to. I really couldn't care if someone is 30/40/50. Really birthday parties for adults are just cringe.
    Thankfully my OH is the same so no bother dodging them.

    But being asked to fund someone else's lavish notions is a joke. I wonder just how embarressed will the birthday boy be when he realises that his friends all had to pay an admission fee. I hope he's truly mortified!! If he's not then he's a knob too.


  • #149
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ [Deleted User]


    OP, have you RSVPed yet?


  • #150
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    CaraMay wrote: »
    Exactly. It's like 'come out to the pub for a quiet drink for my birthday' which ends up costing €120 when babysitters and taxis are factored in.

    Bottom line is if you want to invite people to celebrate an event then you pay for it.

    You don't sound like you'd exactly brighten up a birthday party, to be honest.


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  • #151
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    CaraMay wrote: »
    Not yet no....

    It's just not clear to me why spending a full day getting drunk in a pub trumps a tacky birthday party? Both equally tacky with the exception that a bit of thought and effort has been put into the party.


    It was a light-hearted post, so put the claws away.



    What's tacky about going to a pub for drinks?


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