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Inviting friend to a wedding

  • 25-02-2014 01:36PM
    #1
    HappyBalance
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 144 ✭✭


    Hi,

    I'm good friends with this girl from work. I've asked her to go to my sisters wedding with me. She said she would love to but her boyfriend now won't allow her to go.

    We have fallen out over this because I think it's wrong that her bf should stop her doing things that she wants to do.

    What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

    Thanks

    Is it ok to invite a friend who is already in a relationship to a wedding? 36 votes

    Yes
    0% 0 votes
    No
    100% 36 votes
    Tagged:


«134567

Comments

  • #2
    mad muffin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    Find yourself your own girlfriend ;)


  • #3
    Gatling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,291 ✭✭✭✭Gatling


    HappyBalance wrote: »
    Hi,

    I'm good friends with this girl from work. I've asked her to go to my sisters wedding with me. She said she would love to but her boyfriend now won't allow her to go.

    We have fallen out over this because I think it's wrong that her bf should stop her doing things that she wants to do.

    What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

    Thanks

    Why would you want to bring another blokes girlfriend to your sisters wedding ?
    360_F_102352090_ie3kLjDIvgrT1sxVDknWCUh8PxgMYzM7.jpg




  • #4
    Tilly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,987 ✭✭✭Tilly


    I'm totally with the BF here. You're only a work mate.


  • #5
    Aint Eazy Being Cheezy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    It's odd since you're just colleagues.

    Why not find a single girl you like, then at least you've a chance of getting with her that night?


  • #6
    HappyBalance
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 144 ✭✭HappyBalance


    Tilly wrote: »
    I'm totally with the BF here. You're only a work mate.

    But we do hang out a lot together outside work. I would barely see her during the day as we work in different departments. We do share a lot of private stuff together so its not just a case of being work colleagues - we are good friends


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  • #7
    iDave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,750 ✭✭✭iDave


    Ah here asking another lads GF out to a romantic occasion, just the 2 of ye, she wont know anyone so she'll latch on to you for the day, she'll be all dolled up and dancing.
    What do you honestly think the BFs reaction would be?


  • #8
    caustic 1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,314 ✭✭✭caustic 1


    She doesn't want to go, using bf as excuse.


  • #9
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,947 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    HappyBalance wrote: »
    But we do hang out a lot together outside work. I would barely see her during the day as we work in different departments. We do share a lot of private stuff together so its not just a case of being work colleagues - we are good friends

    Then the drunken frottage would probably have ruined the friendship.


  • #10
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    Don't see the issue, my OH would gladly let me bring a male friend to a wedding if he couldn't make it.

    But I can see where he's coming from too.


  • #11
    XsApollo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 2,688 ✭✭✭XsApollo


    mad muffin wrote: »
    Find yourself your own boyfriend ;)

    I fixed that for you


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  • #12
    mad muffin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    HappyBalance wrote: »
    But we do hang out a lot together outside work. I would barely see her during the day as we work in different departments. We do share a lot of private stuff together so its not just a case of being work colleagues - we are good friends

    Oh Jesus man. Don't tell me you're in the "friend" zone :rolleyes:


  • #13
    mad muffin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    XsApollo wrote: »
    I fixed that for you

    It did cross my mind or she's a two bagger :pac:


  • #14
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,060 ✭✭✭✭biko


    I wouldn't even like if my best mate took my gf to a wedding I wasn't invited to.
    Sorry, but the bf's reaction is perfectly understandable.


  • #15
    HappyBalance
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 144 ✭✭HappyBalance


    caustic 1 wrote: »
    She doesn't want to go, using bf as excuse.

    I know for a fact she does. She was all set to go, taking annual leave, got really excited.


  • #16
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    I should have said that their relationship isn't something you should out with her over, he's clearly threatened by you, or insecure anyway. Just let it go, be a good friend though!!


  • #17
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,728 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    You're right that it's wrong that her boyfriend should stop her doing things she wants to but you're wrong to think he has no right to tell her what he is and isn't okay with. She's stopping herself from going because she can see his point of view. And I think you're being unreasonable if you can't see why he'd feel uncomfortable about the arrangement.


  • #18
    FollatonWood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 227 ✭✭FollatonWood


    Does the BF know or know of you? If not, I can kinda see why he wouldn't be overly happy about it. That said, she should have made her own decision whether to go or not. I don't buy the 'my boyfriend won't let me go' line, it's not the 1900s.


  • #19
    Tilly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,987 ✭✭✭Tilly


    HappyBalance wrote: »
    But we do hang out a lot together outside work. I would barely see her during the day as we work in different departments. We do share a lot of private stuff together so its not just a case of being work colleagues - we are good friends
    Can you not see that asking someone elses GF to a wedding is wrong? You work with her. You're not best buds who hang out everyday in her gaff. You're a work mate!

    I'm very good mates with one of the lads in work and we'd talk most nights but even tho he's single i'd still never ask him to a wedding. It would look like i was into him!


  • #20
    omega666
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 622 ✭✭✭omega666


    Would this be the same friend you posted about a few months back?
    Ya chancer.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=86363670


    "So I have pretty big crush on my friend. She knows about it, she takes it as a compliment but hasn't acted on it. Any advice on how to convince her I'm the right man for her - she actually has a bf at the moment too!"


  • #21
    caustic 1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,314 ✭✭✭caustic 1


    Well then if bf has that much of a hold on her that he tells her what to do where to go what to wear, lost cause, find another friend to bring.


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  • #22
    bucketybuck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,705 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    Have some bloody self respect and don't ask somebody else's girlfriend to be your "date" at a wedding.


  • #23
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    omega666 wrote: »
    Would this be the same friend you posted about a few months back?
    Ya chancer.

    http://m.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=86363670


    "So I have pretty big crush on my friend. She knows about it, she takes it as a compliment but hasn't acted on it. Any advice on how to convince her I'm the right man for her - she actually has a bf at the moment too!"

    Oh you sly dog!!! Leave her to her relationship, don't get in the way!!


  • #24
    BQQ
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,264 ✭✭✭BQQ


    HappyBalance wrote: »
    Hi,

    I'm good friends with this girl from work. I've asked her to go to my sisters wedding with me. She said she would love to but her boyfriend now won't allow her to go.

    We have fallen out over this because I think it's wrong that her bf should stop her doing things that she wants to do.

    What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

    Thanks

    Sounds like you have a thing for her tbh.
    The invitation put her in an awkward spot. She declined for whatever reason (not totally sold on it being the bf's idea). End of story.

    Why would you fall out with her over it?


  • #25
    HappyBalance
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 144 ✭✭HappyBalance


    FollatonWood wrote: »
    Does the BF know or know of you? If not, I can kinda see why he wouldn't be overly happy about it. That said, she should have made her own decision whether to go or not. I don't buy the 'my boyfriend won't let me go' line, it's not the 1900s.

    That is my point exactly. If she didn't want to go I would have said fair enough, it can be an awkward situation. I got annoyed with her because she is only 24 and she shouldn't be told what to do. What kind of future is that?


  • #26
    BrokenArrows
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,548 ✭✭✭BrokenArrows


    I'd agree with the BF.
    He's probably a bit suspicious already since you say you hang out with her alot outside of work. So he's finally put his foot down when it is essentially you asking her on a date.


  • #27
    December2012
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Not true. You're annoyed because she's going out with him and not you.


  • #28
    bogwalrus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,456 ✭✭✭bogwalrus


    Op I am really surprised that you think the BF would not have a problem with this. Most men would know never to ask another fellas GF out to some occasion, even if you were good friends. He does not know you that well so how does he know what your motives are?

    Now if you are indeed gay and genuinely want to invite your GFF then you must talk to the boyfriend and explain there is no sneaky stuff going on.


  • #29
    iDave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,750 ✭✭✭iDave


    HappyBalance wrote: »
    That is my point exactly. If she didn't want to go I would have said fair enough, it can be an awkward situation. I got annoyed with her because she is only 24 and she shouldn't be told what to do. What kind of future is that?

    Your trying to muscle in on his relationship and he's reacting the same way the vast majority of lads would. She's free to dump him if she doesn't like the 'not dating other lads' policy.


  • #30
    bucketybuck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,705 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    HappyBalance wrote: »
    That is my point exactly. If she didn't want to go I would have said fair enough, it can be an awkward situation. I got annoyed with her because she is only 24 and she shouldn't be told what to do. What kind of future is that?

    We all know you really want to be, but you aren't her white knight.


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  • #31
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,947 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    Who says the bf is telling her not to go?


This discussion has been closed.
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