Inviting friend to a wedding

HappyBalance

Hi,

I'm good friends with this girl from work. I've asked her to go to my sisters wedding with me. She said she would love to but her boyfriend now won't allow her to go.

We have fallen out over this because I think it's wrong that her bf should stop her doing things that she wants to do.

What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

Thanks

mad muffin

Find yourself your own girlfriend

Gatling

HappyBalance wrote: »

Hi,

I'm good friends with this girl from work. I've asked her to go to my sisters wedding with me. She said she would love to but her boyfriend now won't allow her to go.

We have fallen out over this because I think it's wrong that her bf should stop her doing things that she wants to do.

What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

Thanks

Why would you want to bring another blokes girlfriend to your sisters wedding ?

Tilly

I'm totally with the BF here. You're only a work mate.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

It's odd since you're just colleagues.

Why not find a single girl you like, then at least you've a chance of getting with her that night?

HappyBalance

Tilly wrote: »

I'm totally with the BF here. You're only a work mate.

But we do hang out a lot together outside work. I would barely see her during the day as we work in different departments. We do share a lot of private stuff together so its not just a case of being work colleagues - we are good friends

iDave

Ah here asking another lads GF out to a romantic occasion, just the 2 of ye, she wont know anyone so she'll latch on to you for the day, she'll be all dolled up and dancing.
What do you honestly think the BFs reaction would be?

caustic 1

She doesn't want to go, using bf as excuse.

Alf Veedersane

HappyBalance wrote: »

But we do hang out a lot together outside work. I would barely see her during the day as we work in different departments. We do share a lot of private stuff together so its not just a case of being work colleagues - we are good friends

Then the drunken frottage would probably have ruined the friendship.

Ihatecuddles

Don't see the issue, my OH would gladly let me bring a male friend to a wedding if he couldn't make it.

But I can see where he's coming from too.

XsApollo

mad muffin wrote: »

Find yourself your own boyfriend

I fixed that for you

mad muffin

HappyBalance wrote: »

But we do hang out a lot together outside work. I would barely see her during the day as we work in different departments. We do share a lot of private stuff together so its not just a case of being work colleagues - we are good friends

Oh Jesus man. Don't tell me you're in the "friend" zone :rolleyes:

mad muffin

XsApollo wrote: »

I fixed that for you

It did cross my mind or she's a two bagger :pac:

biko

I wouldn't even like if my best mate took my gf to a wedding I wasn't invited to.
Sorry, but the bf's reaction is perfectly understandable.

HappyBalance

caustic 1 wrote: »

She doesn't want to go, using bf as excuse.

I know for a fact she does. She was all set to go, taking annual leave, got really excited.

Ihatecuddles

I should have said that their relationship isn't something you should out with her over, he's clearly threatened by you, or insecure anyway. Just let it go, be a good friend though!!

Earthhorse

You're right that it's wrong that her boyfriend should stop her doing things she wants to but you're wrong to think he has no right to tell her what he is and isn't okay with. She's stopping herself from going because she can see his point of view. And I think you're being unreasonable if you can't see why he'd feel uncomfortable about the arrangement.

FollatonWood

Does the BF know or know of you? If not, I can kinda see why he wouldn't be overly happy about it. That said, she should have made her own decision whether to go or not. I don't buy the 'my boyfriend won't let me go' line, it's not the 1900s.

Tilly

HappyBalance wrote: »

But we do hang out a lot together outside work. I would barely see her during the day as we work in different departments. We do share a lot of private stuff together so its not just a case of being work colleagues - we are good friends

Can you not see that asking someone elses GF to a wedding is wrong? You work with her. You're not best buds who hang out everyday in her gaff. You're a work mate!

I'm very good mates with one of the lads in work and we'd talk most nights but even tho he's single i'd still never ask him to a wedding. It would look like i was into him!

omega666

Would this be the same friend you posted about a few months back?
Ya chancer.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=86363670


"So I have pretty big crush on my friend. She knows about it, she takes it as a compliment but hasn't acted on it. Any advice on how to convince her I'm the right man for her - she actually has a bf at the moment too!"

caustic 1

Well then if bf has that much of a hold on her that he tells her what to do where to go what to wear, lost cause, find another friend to bring.

bucketybuck

Have some bloody self respect and don't ask somebody else's girlfriend to be your "date" at a wedding.

Ihatecuddles

omega666 wrote: »

Would this be the same friend you posted about a few months back?
Ya chancer.

http://m.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=86363670


"So I have pretty big crush on my friend. She knows about it, she takes it as a compliment but hasn't acted on it. Any advice on how to convince her I'm the right man for her - she actually has a bf at the moment too!"

Oh you sly dog!!! Leave her to her relationship, don't get in the way!!

BQQ

HappyBalance wrote: »

Hi,

I'm good friends with this girl from work. I've asked her to go to my sisters wedding with me. She said she would love to but her boyfriend now won't allow her to go.

We have fallen out over this because I think it's wrong that her bf should stop her doing things that she wants to do.

What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

Thanks

Sounds like you have a thing for her tbh.
The invitation put her in an awkward spot. She declined for whatever reason (not totally sold on it being the bf's idea). End of story.

Why would you fall out with her over it?

HappyBalance

FollatonWood wrote: »

Does the BF know or know of you? If not, I can kinda see why he wouldn't be overly happy about it. That said, she should have made her own decision whether to go or not. I don't buy the 'my boyfriend won't let me go' line, it's not the 1900s.

That is my point exactly. If she didn't want to go I would have said fair enough, it can be an awkward situation. I got annoyed with her because she is only 24 and she shouldn't be told what to do. What kind of future is that?

BrokenArrows

I'd agree with the BF.
He's probably a bit suspicious already since you say you hang out with her alot outside of work. So he's finally put his foot down when it is essentially you asking her on a date.

December2012

Not true. You're annoyed because she's going out with him and not you.

bogwalrus

Op I am really surprised that you think the BF would not have a problem with this. Most men would know never to ask another fellas GF out to some occasion, even if you were good friends. He does not know you that well so how does he know what your motives are?

Now if you are indeed gay and genuinely want to invite your GFF then you must talk to the boyfriend and explain there is no sneaky stuff going on.

iDave

HappyBalance wrote: »

That is my point exactly. If she didn't want to go I would have said fair enough, it can be an awkward situation. I got annoyed with her because she is only 24 and she shouldn't be told what to do. What kind of future is that?

Your trying to muscle in on his relationship and he's reacting the same way the vast majority of lads would. She's free to dump him if she doesn't like the 'not dating other lads' policy.

bucketybuck

HappyBalance wrote: »

That is my point exactly. If she didn't want to go I would have said fair enough, it can be an awkward situation. I got annoyed with her because she is only 24 and she shouldn't be told what to do. What kind of future is that?

We all know you really want to be, but you aren't her white knight.

Alf Veedersane

Who says the bf is telling her not to go?

TheDriver

am I the only one who assumed that the OP was also female and wondered what the fuss was about except the BF concerned his girl was bi all of a sudden????

FollatonWood

HappyBalance wrote: »

That is my point exactly. If she didn't want to go I would have said fair enough, it can be an awkward situation. I got annoyed with her because she is only 24 and she shouldn't be told what to do. What kind of future is that?

Whoa hold up, I also do see the BFs point - just that she shouldn't have used it as an excuse, she should have told you directly she didn't want to go.

Tilly

There's not one person in here who thinks you're right and yet you cant see the BF's point? That's just weird, Dude!

super_furry

Don't you have other friends you can invite? If there's nothing romantic involved then surely there's a male friend you could bring?

La Haine

Actually OP, are you male or female?

Larbre34

OP are you?

1-Male and straight
2-Male and gay
3-Female and straight
4 Female and gay

In the case of 1 and 4 I would have exactly the same attitude as the boyfriend, its plain odd to attend a formal or long social event with a person who isnt your partner or family member and who is an infidelity risk, no matter how remote or unlikely.

Heroditas

TheDriver wrote: »

am I the only one who assumed that the OP was also female and wondered what the fuss was about except the BF concerned his girl was bi all of a sudden????

Nope I assumed the same too.

super_furry

Meanwhile, I'll just leave this here then..... http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=86363670

Mince Pie

So is the OP male or female?

Feisar

TheDriver wrote: »

am I the only one who assumed that the OP was also female and wondered what the fuss was about except the BF concerned his girl was bi all of a sudden????

I thought the exact same thing. Mainly because who asks another lads GF to a wedding?

If I was the BF I'd tell her to do what she liked but I was really unhappy about it.

HappyBalance

Mince Pie wrote: »

So is the OP male or female?

male and straight

perfectblue

It's entirely possible that she was excited to go, but her boyfriend expressed his discomfort about it, and she, like any good person in a relationship would, took into account his feelings.
Sorry, OP, but he gets precedence in her life, not you. There's nothing that says he forced her to do anything, but that they have good enough communication skills that he was being honest, and she values her relationship enough to pick her battles.

In other words, it has nothing to do with you.

La Haine

Male and straight so.

Here, as you're fairly good pals - in work and out of work - have you actually been around this girl when the boyfriend was around? Do you get on with him like?

EyeSight

If it was me(as the BF) i would wonder why out of all your friends you wanted to take my girlfriend?
Just on this alone you can't accuse him of being controlling. I'm sure most girls wouldn't like it either if the roles were reversed.

My ex used to have a guy who was always up to this crap. Inviting her to balls and weddings, making her scrap books of the 2 of them. He was never a threat and it was embarrassing for him but it was extremely annoying

FTA69

male and straight

And you're trying to take another fella's girlfriend to a wedding of all places? You're bang out of order and you're lucky your man isn't seeking to give you a bloody slap.

Mince Pie

HappyBalance wrote: »

male and straight

Ah get away with ye, its a bit creepy actually. Too right the boyfriend said no. I'd watch out for a punch in the nose as well.

TheDriver

HappyBalance wrote: »

male and straight

Then that's fairly bogus lad. If she was your lifelong friend dawsons creek style then maybe, but I wouldn't be too hectic about it either if I was the girls fella.

Bit sad too, asking someone elses GF out.........You do realise she will probably spend the day texting her guy??

Loughc

HappyBalance wrote: »

Hi,

I'm good friends with this girl from work. I've asked her to go to my sisters wedding with me. She said she would love to but her boyfriend now won't allow her to go.

We have fallen out over this because I think it's wrong that her bf should stop her doing things that she wants to do.

What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

Thanks

omega666 wrote: »

Would this be the same friend you posted about a few months back?
Ya chancer.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=86363670


"So I have pretty big crush on my friend. She knows about it, she takes it as a compliment but hasn't acted on it. Any advice on how to convince her I'm the right man for her - she actually has a bf at the moment too!"

LOL, best laugh I had in a while, thanks OP.

But seriously back off and leave her and her bf alone. She clearly doesn't like you like that, it's embarrassing!

Heroditas

HappyBalance wrote: »

male and straight

Why don't you ask a male friend to come with you and you'll have a wing-man?

Earthhorse

bogwalrus wrote: »

Op I am really surprised that you think the BF would not have a problem with this. Most men would know never to ask another fellas GF out to some occasion, even if you were good friends.

I think it's fine to ask a female friend whose attached out to an occasion but not a wedding where a +1 is basically for your romantic interest. You can go to a wedding without a +1.